THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[coolchick64]

Day 11

 

Really gritting my teeth today. Don't know why this is still so hard. I'm pretty sure I saw him in the parking lot this afternoon. No urge to run up to him. Just wanted to hide! Also received a piece of mail addressed to the two of us. Found a pair of his slippers in the closet. Ran accross some concert tickets from a great night we had last fall. Blah blah blah.

 

I know everyone says this, and I should know better by now, but I just can't BELIEVE this is fine with him. I can't believe he doesn't miss me, or think about me, or want to contact me. But clearly, he does NOT. Why is it so hard for me to get through my thick skull. I want a lobotomy!

 

By the way, at 11 days, this is the longest I've gone without hearing from him since March of 2008. Tomorrow, it'll be 6 weeks since we broke up.

[coolchick64]

day 37 ongoing thoughts, memories, what ifs, wish i could of done this, wish i could of done that.. pointless really but its only just becoming reality that she really is gone from my life. cried, so want to contact her but shes already told me she doesnt feel the same way about me so i'd just end up with more heartbreak. does she miss me, does she even think about me? probably not but i still wonder. i was so happy, i wish i still had her with me. keep checking my phone and emails, havent been on profiles and trying hard to keep off them.. she enjoys flirting so im sure she is, i couldnt bare to see comments of flirt. i just cant let go but i know theres nothing i can do. its so hard.

 

 

Glad to see you back, Ackerman. You've been on my mind. Hang in there, Bud. (And yeah, stay off the profiles---they're EVIL!)

[Lavender25]

Day 41...

 

It's been a pretty good day, actually. The weather this morning was gorgeous. Work didn't drag on for too long... I went and got my hair done. I dyed it back to my original color. It's very dark and I haven't had it this dark in years.

 

Do I still think about him? of course. I miss him. I wish he would call. But I don't expect him to. I'm just thankful that I don't feel this horrible pain in my chest today.

 

I wonder how long it will last.

[coolchick64]

Day f'ing 12

 

Not a bad day, really. Just more of the same. Luckily, I had plenty to distract me at work. I dressed to the nines for a big meeting, just for fun. Everyone was shocked. Still no word from the a**clown . . . guess he's busy showing himself a good time. what EVER

[zinny]

Day 1

 

All over again! Got multiple msgs from him last night... gave in and responded. Felt pretty stupid afterwards (see other post - What does he want from me?)....

 

But the day is almost done and I managed to do it.. hopefully the first day is the hardest and it's only uphill from here...

[JCP]

Day 1

 

Brilliant idea this.

I've posted my situation elsewhere so you can catch up there

 

 

 

I'm keeping busy as I have to go abroad for work, probably won't see her until Sept 7th when I'm back in the office. I know that won't count but I saw her yesterday and we said hi in the office as it would be rude to blank her in front of all our colleagues. Therefore I'm going to say today is officially Day 1, next hi in the office won't count as I I'll know I'm trying to fake it to make it and will say hi with more conviction and hopefully feel better about it afterwards.

 

Good luck to all.

[Talus]

day 2 since the last contact.

 

That was a little chat over facebook and both agreed we need to delete each other as it's way too hard seeing everything. It was a mutual break up as we are 19 and she wants to travel and everything for herself, always has, and I'm not going to stop her. I don't know what I want to do but I think it's important to take this time whilst young to really challenge myself and see the world. Deeply in love with each other so this is hard on both of us. We didn't want it... there was no other way though.

 

This whole NC thing is different for me than most people I think. I'm doing it for the sole reason I want to heal. I don't want to contact her, we've said all that needs to be said and we both miss each other like crazy. The situation is unavoidable and the breakup had to happen. So for me there is no desire to contact her at all, NC is not a challenge of that. It is a challenge in the way that I miss her and having her in my life. It's a challenge to find what makes me happy and to move on.

 

There's no bitterness or misunderstanding, no dumpee or dumper mentality going on and no games. It's straight up a * * * * situation we couldn't avoid and we both have to deal with it. We agreed that this may not be it, and we are both very open to a future together... but for the next few years we have to do what we want before we can actually really know who we want to be with or what type of person. So young and so much growing to do, it just wouldn't work to do it together and we couldn't do all that we wanted. For instance I couldn't go work in Canada for a yr like I'm planning, she couldn't go work in America and all that as we both know a long distance thing is definitely going to fail. So why make it harder than it should be? It'd only lead to resentment later on between us, and then there's no chance of a future together.

 

It sucks though. It hurts. I know I will contact her again, on her birthday in a couple of months. But I will be doing so because I love and care about this girl, not because I want anything to start up again, or would be expecting a reply or anything.

 

This is all about moving on... I guess it's gonna be harder to do due to the nature of the break up... I'm determined though. This has torn my life apart for a while now and I really want to get on with life and experience all it has to offer from this point on. She's always gonna have a special place in my heart, and whether that will lead to a future relationship in a few years time or just a friendship... I guess we'll both be happy and things would have worked out for the best.

[ackerman]

Glad to see you back, Ackerman. You've been on my mind. Hang in there, Bud. (And yeah, stay off the profiles---they're EVIL!)

 

hey thanks coolchick, hanging on is all i can do, im just finding it difficult to do anything.. keeping the hairband by my bedside probably isnt helping either but it makes it feel like shes still with me and i seem to have this stupid thought that if i kiss it every night before i go to sleep she will come back one day.. wishful thinking or what! i have an urge to just go on the profile but i just know i'll see something i dont want to see, it breaks my heart i hate to think of her flirting with other guys.. i just cant believe this has happened, we were so connected. i really really cannot get close to anybody else. i keep thinking of some of the things she last said to me like "it might be the end of us for now, but it wont be the end of us", "you probably are the most amazing person i've ever met"... the confusion of everything still surrounds my mind, i guess im holding on to hope. i hope you feel better you look after yourself also.

[mellow]

day 6, he replied my twitter. heh.

[colly01]

Day...eh haven't got a clue...stopped counting along time ago...think it's probably 40 or so...defo gets easier (5+ year relationship)and she was the dumper and she was the last one to initiate contact and i've even had sex in this period with another woman...so technically i haven't broken NC in about 8 weeks....go me...still love her though but defo movin on..

[jENT]

Day 5, just feeling sad and angry, the rest fine and moving on really fast.

[lady00]

I've lost count. For the first time in my life I've been able to cut off contact completely. I have not spoken to him since the day that we had our final talk about the relationship. In that sense, it feels good. Also, knowing that that was the last straw for me and that I'm giving up dating--is quite a relief actually.

[coolchick64]

Day 13

 

i just cant believe this has happened, we were so connected.

 

I have this exact same thought at least 100 times a day.

 

I'm actually having a hard time remembering very much about my ex, though, which is strange. I can't remember his voice, his face, what it was like to be in his house. At least not clearly. All the details are fading. A friend of mine told me she thinks my mind is shutting down so it won't hurt so bad. I guess that's a good thing.

[Lavender25]

coolchick, I know exactly how you feel.

 

This week has been a pretty good week for the most part. School started, so I wonder if that helped me get my mind off of things. I was having an especially good day on Tuesday until that evening when I got in my car and just FLIPPED. It's almost like I felt guilty for feeling good and it's just soo hard to believe that just two months ago the ex and I were living in a fantastic apartment with our cat and living a wonderful life...

 

Sometimes I try really hard to remember what that last hug felt like. I don't even remember when our last kiss was. I almost forgot what his voice sounded like until last night when I was listening to a mixed CD in my car and forgot that a song he recorded was on it. I was completely fine until I heard his voice and I started bawling!

[icyness]

^ Right there with you guys..and it hasn't even been two full months since the break-up.

I feel like it'd be so weird to hear his voice now..like I've not heard it in years.

I don't really keep track of how long since I've contacted him or since we've spoke. I just know it's been weeks, and I'm scared.

I'm very fearful of the future. I would love for him to call just so I know he still cares. I could easily go without picking up..I just want him to call.

 

I hate this.

[jonboi]

5 months today since she disappeared. NC from me almost 4 months. What can you do, nothing but see what time does. Just the way

[mellow]

it's really too bad.. 2 weeks after we broke up he already seeing someone else.. day 7.

[frangimond]

yes please. I would like to join. My story is just as messy. we were moving together to Papua New Guinea and my partner dumped me two weeks before she joined me up here and so I am here on my own. Instead of our freight I received boxes of just my stuff. And she told me not to contact her so we didnt speak for the first two weeks. We have had some contact since then but it hurts me too much.

 

So I am ready for the month of no contact. If I can quit smoking I can do this!

 

I will count this as the start. i just sent her the last texts and emails about how I feel about what she did. And so the NC begins now.

 

I am not sure I will be able to post every day but I will try!

 

Thank you for this!

[frangimond]

damn it. i joined 18 minutes ago and already I want to break the challenge.

its so hard!

 

luckily my ex is off to India next week so that will make it impossible to contact which is a relief! 18 minutes....so pathetic.....

[frangimond]

does accessing the still unclosed joint account count as contact?

[jENT]

Day 6, nothing special

[Puckdog27]

does accessing the still unclosed joint account count as contact?

 

I would say no it doesnt.

[Johnathan]

back on day 1 with the girl I was recently datng. i have an awful knack for finding the ones who just want to be independent....but make me believe otherwise for a few months before they decide to throw it in reverse out of nowhere.

for the 1st time ever yesterday, i actually took the initiative and told her not to contact me. I said to her that we should exit each others lives for now. And that I am done being friendzoned by someone I want a relationsihp with. That kind of treatment is all I've ever gotten my whole life and i'm not going to put myself thru that misery again.

 

everyone, just stop wasting your time on someone who doesnt want you as much as you want them.

[coolchick64]

Day 14

 

^ I would love for him to call just so I know he still cares. I could easily go without picking up..I just want him to call.

 

I hate this.

 

I feel the same way. Every time I check my email and there's nothing from him, it's like another F-you. Wonder if that's how it's feeling to him when he doesn't hear from me . . . like I just don't care. Part of me sincerely hopes so.

 

I just cannot concentrate on work this week. Today has been absolutely hopeless. Not upset exactly, just distracted. I'd better get my **** together or my life's gonna go from bad to worse in a hurry.

[ackerman]

same here, im checking my email and phone regularly but havent had anything for well over a month now. all i can think of is her out getting close to another guy.. i miss her voice, i miss her personality and everything we had. chats with her before i went to bed made me sleep like a log, happy thoughts. i cant help but wonder if she thinks of me or if she still feels anything for me whatsoever. i long for a message off her, to know she misses me as much as i miss her or just to know im in her thoughts. or maybe she hates me because i was bitter due to her ignoring me, i just dont know. im sure shes on her profiles though, she was always on them and she must get loads of messages off other guys shes gorgeous.