zinny

dear "ex" i'm tired of hearing your excuses about having to go through it alone. i was always there for you... but obviously it wasn't good enough. i'm sorry that you're going through a rough time, but i can't let you justify your hurtful actions to me because of it. i was "understanding" through a lot.... but i cannot understand how anyone can get through this. i hate you so much right now... but the thing i hate the most is that i still love you. at least now i know i need to love myself more..... and to do that, i need to move on to someone who is more deserving of what i have to offer. goodbye...

Day 1 All over again! Got multiple msgs from him last night... gave in and responded. Felt pretty stupid afterwards (see other post - What does he want from me?).... But the day is almost done and I managed to do it.. hopefully the first day is the hardest and it's only uphill from here...

Ok here goes.... Day 1... and it starts.... already constantly thinking of him... first thing in the morning and last thing at night... hard to focus at work right now, but I need my job - so I need to get my head on straight. I'm just so sad and wondering if he is too... but I know this is for the best... this is for me... and I finally need to put my needs first as opposed to my neediness.... Wish me luck!