THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Cat76]

Day 30

 

I wished that I could rejoice over my 30 days but I don't much feel like it. I feel like I am going backwards again. Like it is just sinking in that this is real ... that I will never see or hear from him again and it is hurting.

 

What are we meant to feel at 30 days? Spurred on by our success to do another 30? Heres to the next 30 I guess. I hope I feel better by then that I do right now.

 

Whoop whoop! Well done Jellybaby.

 

I may not be around here as much but I will keep checking and cheering you on to another 30 days.

 

I'm lucky that I had a different way to get over my ex, but I know from previous relationships that it can take a whole lot longer and be a very painful journey. But it is a journey and the destination will be your happiness, however you find it.

 

Hope your able to smile.

 

Cat

x

[Cat76]

Best of luck to you imjgh, well done for getting to the 30 days. I hope it works out for you, however things turn out.

 

I bolded the bit of your post that was most important to me and hopefully to other people on here.

 

 

[lionquack]

Best of luck to you imjgh, well done for getting to the 30 days. I hope it works out for you, however things turn out.

 

I bolded the bit of your post that was most important to me and hopefully to other people on here.

 

 

 

that statement in Bold is what we should all be striving towards with NC. But the truth is some or most are'nt.

[Tanzi]

Whoop whoop! Well done Jellybaby.

 

I may not be around here as much but I will keep checking and cheering you on to another 30 days.

 

I'm lucky that I had a different way to get over my ex, but I know from previous relationships that it can take a whole lot longer and be a very painful journey. But it is a journey and the destination will be your happiness, however you find it.

 

Hope your able to smile.

 

Cat

x

 

Thanks Cat I appreciate your support

[Tanzi]

that statement in Bold is what we should all be striving towards with NC. But the truth is some or most are'nt.

 

Well, if truth be told a lot of us must would admit to starting out on NC with the hope that our ex's will want us back but the further we journey into NC the more we come to realise that it is about us and moving on without them. As to when we accept this depends on the individual but I am sure we all get there eventually! I think I am almost there!!

[Cat76]

that statement in Bold is what we should all be striving towards with NC. But the truth is some or most are'nt.

 

 

Oh I quite agree that NC does start with the hope of them wanting us back, I felt like that.

 

I don't want to take away anyones hope. Maybe it just takes time and acceptance to really appreciate that in the end it's for ourselves.

 

 

[k1k1]

Day 7 AM

 

Well I just had a dream about her. (and someone else)

I was going out with someone else, (new relationship etc) and she looked so similar to my ex. (although I know she looks different IRL). We were having a good relationship but I think I still missed my ex, because one day I bumped into her and I think we started going out again. I was then dating both of them at the same time, and felt guilty.

 

Anyway, just a random thought, as Iv never dreamt of her like this before.

 

On the plus side, those night sweats are gone, and I did get a proper sleep.

[imjgh]

Best of luck to you imjgh, well done for getting to the 30 days. I hope it works out for you, however things turn out.

 

I bolded the bit of your post that was most important to me and hopefully to other people on here.

 

 

you are correct ms. cat.....

 

taking the high road is only option for me...what goes around comes around.

 

thanks for the well wishes. this forum and the people on this link truly helped me in so many ways, i thank you all....

[jarias2311]

Broke NC after just 2 days..I kno I am weak. I saw her today and we basically said our goodbyes and she left my house at 4 pm. So from 4pm on its DAY 1

 

Wish me luck guys, im really going to need it. Anyone that wants to talk to me please PM me. The more people to talk to the better

[lionquack]

DAY 13.

 

I posted her teddy back last night. Thread here if your interested:

 

 

 

Have not heard anything back from her and dont expect to.

 

Almost 2 weeks now of NC so am very proud of myself. Still does not mean I do not miss her every minute of the day and pine for her at night as we slept together every night.

 

Oh well. Hopefully it will get easier. I am loads better than I was the first 3 days into the break up.

[Ekips]

Day 3

 

It is raining here. When it rains, it pours. And so does my tears. I miss him dearly, especially during the rainy days: it brings back memories of us climbing into bed and spending the remaining day under the covers in each others arms. I wish it would just stop.

 

It is getting a liitle better every day. I am trying my best to accept it and look forward to finding me. That is my inspiration. I haven't given up on our reconciliation, I just know nothing can come out of it if I am not in a good place with myself. Someone told me once that reconciliation is the hard part. I'm a hard worker. Who knows, I may not want it when I am there. I want him to be happy, even if he decides that he wants to spend the remaining part of his life without me... that was extremely hard to type. I had to pause.

 

I will try my best to pick up the shattered pieces and become the happy, funny and confident woman I was before this break-up. It is a work in progress. I just have to remember to breathe....

[Qut81]

Day 2

 

Its amazing that after only 2 days I feel better.

 

I read my journal and thought back to when we were dating. It wasnt good from the start. I remembered yesterday how the first time I went to his house some girls flip flops were over there. There were so many red flags I missed. I just need to keep reminding myself of the bad times and all the red flags. I have this curse of only remembering the good times, even if there werent many.

[CanesGirl85]

Day 2

 

I feel better today. Today is a rainy day, and it's supposed to be rainy the whole weekend, which I actually like, because it's my favorite type of weather. It kind of in turn makes me sad, too though, because I remember me and him going to an amusement park and having it rain on us, back then we were so happy.

 

To keep me strong, I'm trying to take him off that pedestal and remember how mean he could be to be, so cold and nonchalant towards me...and when I cared the most and showered him with kisses and love, that's when he wanted the least to do with me. And if I ignore his next phonecall, which I KNOW he will call...I am setting myself up for the future with a man who isn't afraid to love and care and be involved with me...and getting away from a child who only treats me like his toybox that he can open whenever he feels like it. I cant wait for the future!

[Lovingme09]

I TOOK THE CHALLENGE!

 

DAY 6

 

Actually this is day 6 for me doing the NC and i am doing ok. Better than i thought. i seen alot of memories though....

 

me and my ex broke up because he said he was not happy and the break up was pretty brutal. I really love him and want him back but he pushed me away. so im trying somethin new...NC

 

I still think whether he is thinking about me especially since he intiated the break up.

 

His cousin seen me in school and told me he talks about me alot...and asked would i go back with him. In addition, told me that we let our relationship fade away and he was unhappy...THANK YOU CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!

 

Anyway, to be honest, with his cousin, you never know the honest part. but he has no reason to lie either. Me and his cousin (my ex) dated for three years so hopefully this NC will affect him...or would it be outta sight outta mind?

 

goshh..im going crazy overthinking.

maybe im not so ok

[stargirl1980]

Day 1 again for me. I'm really not very good at this. My record to beat is 5 days.

 

It's been a month since he talked to me. I feel sick every day. I keep crying. I keep hoping the phone will ring, but it never does.

 

I had a fight with my best friend, because I was so sick of her telling me trite things like "you have to love yourself first" over and over again. She just keeps going around in circles, like she thinks if she says "he's a loser" enough times, I'll just magically jump up and stop missing him.

 

I feel used. I feel like, if he hasn't called, then he doesn't miss me. And then I think, if he doesn't miss me, then he must've never cared for me at all. I feel like I'm as low as I can possibly get.

[brazilgirl21]

I got to Day 30 for the third time after our break-up. First time it was broken because we saw eachother at a party, second time he broke it because it was my birthday last month and he called, and now it's day 30 again.

 

For the first time, I did NOT count the days. I just remember it's 30 days today because of the week of my bday when we last talked. It was such an easy month, I felt like I was definetly getting myself back.

 

However, I'm starting to slowly think about him and miss him again. What is wrong with this?? I really thought I was healed.

 

So yeah, 4 months in and things are DEFINETLY better but I wasn't expecting a setback =[

[lionquack]

DAY 14

 

I made it to 2 weeks NC. So proud. Feel loads better. The more i reflect on how and why we broke up the easier it is becoming to accept. Shes a bad person for what she did to me and I deserve much better.

 

All those finding it hard stick with NC to Heal YOURSELF not to make you EX miss you.

[SunniDee]

Day 20. Go me. Stronger with each passing day. I now know I made the exact right decision ending it.

[Tanzi]

Day 32

 

Or should that be Day 1 seeing as NC was broken yesterday. However it wasn't me that made contact, well not at first so technically I didn't break it. And to be honest the contact was very minor.

 

He must have seen me on line on yahoo (i blocked and deleted him from MSN and deleted him from yahoo but obviously forgot to block him aswell). All I got was a "hello" but it was some 4 hours before I saw it and he was off-line by then but I still sent a "hi, how you?" back. That was late last night. I am still shocked that he bothered to make any contact at all. We've done the friends thing for 8 months and it was that that I was putting an end to as I couldn't cope with it anymore.

 

Ending the relationship was his doing and after 31 days NC I was getting used to the idea that I was never going to see or hear from him again. Don't get me wrong, it still hurt like hell but I was determined to see this through. Now I feel I've hurtled straight back again. Did I do the right thing by opening up a means of communication between us? Why on earth did I do it?

 

Ho hum ... here we go again!

[imjgh]

did you do the right thing? who knows who did what...

 

if you had blocked him he could have contacted you in some way, that we all know...

 

it's done jelly...and no, you didn't do anything....stop blaming yourself...

 

PINK elephants and remember, never ever give up, never!

 

cya bb and have a wonder filled day...

[Cheeks18]

Day 3,

 

Having a really rough time of it, I have been going out every night this week with friends and staying up way to late but im not that tired??? I think its just because I am so upset with knowing that she seemed so much more ok with this when we hugged good bye. Not saying that all women are like this but how do you hold your feelings in so well at certain points?? Like I am 100% sure she ran upstairs after I left and balled her eyes out, god forbid she did it when we were hugging like I did. Anyways I have a fun planned weekend and I hope it takes my mind off of it, but prolly not.

 

JellyBaby, its ok but it was a bad idea, I told myself I wouldnt answer anything like hello or a phone call with no voicemail left for me. I feel if its important like either them wanting to fix stuff and give the relationship another shot, then they will make it well aware to you by saying it in the message and or text or phone call. Even though it prolly would be a bad idea to answer anything anyways thats point I am at right now?? I hope you can stay strong!!!

The one thing that helps me is I think about the way everything happened and how trying to fix it right now is damn near impossible way to much to solve way to many emotions with eachother, to ever have it work in my mind we have to make contact or run into eachother in a year or 2 and start with a clean slate no grudges no anger and it will have a way better chance at working in the long run. But like I said prolly best if you randomly run into eachother and start over clean some point way down the road!!!

 

Good luck everyone I know I am gonna need it!!!

[imjgh]

hi all,

 

just a quick update...

 

i spoke to her on tues, wed and thursday...at this point we are talking daily...

 

for those that have been following, we did 30 days nc and she contacted me to discuss our future. she is moving, very soon, within 2 weeks....will be going back to virginia.

 

while the decision is not final yet i think she will agree to a ld relationship...we both have huge changes so this is really good timing in many ways.

 

we both love each other for sure, this is purely a decision based on family and parents who are both ill...it is what it is...

 

and what it is is a wonderful relationship that i hope and pray continues albeit ld for the time being.

 

where there is a will there is a way and there are reasons why people come into our lives for different lengths of time. in our case i fully believe we are meant to be for the rest of our lives...

 

see i told you it would be a short note

 

for those of you in pain, she and i both experienced enormous amounts during our time apart so i understand. all i can say is have faith...in that other person, in yourself, in your God, in having the belief that things work out for a reason. they say God answers prayers, sometimes the answer is 'yes' sometimes the answer is 'no' and sometimes the answer is 'wait'.

 

perhaps that is the secret...patience...i certainly have never been a patient man but right now i am more patient than 45 days ago...

 

never give up...on learning, on living, on trying to keep going in that direction that is RIGHT for you...never give up...

[Cheeks18]

imjgh, You are a great person and all your post make me feel stronger and happier, thank you so much for all your concerns and really understanding the importance of life and expressing it to me and everyone else. I am so happy for you and it seems like she might be the one!!! Good luck!!

Just wanted to say thanks.

[Ekips]

imjgh,

Ahhh... I love the wait/patience part. Inspirational sir.

 

Day 4,

 

Jelly, I understand exactly how you feel. I went NC for 21 days and then boom!! I had a moment of weakness and called. No answer. Pain, that horrible pain. It completely teared me apart inside. I thought I was strong enough. Boy was I wrong.

 

I had a dream about him last night (every night). I want to get through this dark phase, but I keep seeing him in my dreams, then I wake up and realized that I didn't laugh with him, I didn't make love to him, he just wasn't here. He is gone.

 

I have such great days and then I have days like today. On the good days, I feel positive about the outcome... I will move forward and get through this and find the happy, confident person I use to be prior to the breakup. And then there's today, when I am wondering if he misses me and what I did wrong..... I hate how breakups ccan make us feel this way. Perhpas tomorrow will be a good day.

[Lovingme09]

Day 7

 

TOTALLY SUCKS. ok because today for me is prom.

 

enough said...

 

oh and im alone