THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[tujna]

Day 16

 

I was thinking about writing him this email bc I was thinking this morning about something he said the last time.

 

I have a quick question. You said that when we slept together 3 wks ago that we were just friends. That friends who sleep together are the same as regular friends. Being that we were in a relationship and you were friends with M (when you slept with her a wk before we became official) then that must mean you two were sleeping together, correct? Bc apparently, you sleep with all your female friends.

 

Shouldnt send it huh?

 

No, what's the point. From what you are saying it seems that what would hurt him most is NC. Be strong.

[tujna]

Day 16

 

I was thinking about writing him this email bc I was thinking this morning about something he said the last time.

 

I have a quick question. You said that when we slept together 3 wks ago that we were just friends. That friends who sleep together are the same as regular friends. Being that we were in a relationship and you were friends with M (when you slept with her a wk before we became official) then that must mean you two were sleeping together, correct? Bc apparently, you sleep with all your female friends.

 

Shouldnt send it huh?

 

No, what's the point. From what you are saying it seems that what would hurt him most is NC. Be strong.

[journeynow]

Day 16

Shouldnt send it huh?

 

Gut81, no don't send it, it won't really make you feel better in the long run. Burn it, make it a symbolic send.

[journeynow]

Day 16

Shouldnt send it huh?

 

Gut81, no don't send it, it won't really make you feel better in the long run. Burn it, make it a symbolic send.

[4dogs]

day 4

 

Ugh TODAY I feel like crap. Last night I woke up having a panic attack...very scary. I hate this.

[Ixtapa]

Nothing to report. Just counting days...

[Qut81]

Gut81, no don't send it, it won't really make you feel better in the long run. Burn it, make it a symbolic send.

 

Its Qut81 not Gut81...lol.

Thank you. I wont send it. Maybe I really just wanted a reason to talk to him. But Im doin a lot better emotionally with NC.

[Qut81]

Gut81, no don't send it, it won't really make you feel better in the long run. Burn it, make it a symbolic send.

 

Its Qut81 not Gut81...lol.

Thank you. I wont send it. Maybe I really just wanted a reason to talk to him. But Im doin a lot better emotionally with NC.

[LemonCheesecak]

Day 11

 

Back home so I'm in pretty good spirits, homecooked meals and less responsibility always works a treat. It's good to have a change of scenery for a little while too. Haven't actually been around town yet so not had a chance to bump into her, will be going shopping tomorrow but I hope she doesn't have the same idea. I'm determined to avoid all strains of contact for 30 days.

[melpa]

After a long and hard 4 years with a guy who just cannot commit I have decided to go ahead with no contact, I cannot deal with the on/off, hot/cold, back/forth situation anymore. What was once a beautiful connection has been ruined by arguments caused by him pulling away each and every time we get closer. People that I have spoken to about this say that he does care and does love me, but is scared. He told me himself that he is not willing to risk getting close to someone again because his last relationship had ended so badly.

 

Being friends is so incredibly difficult. The lines are now too blurry and I cannot help getting upset when he acts distant, just weeks after telling me he misses me and wishes he spent more time with me when i lived near him (I have recently moved away, partly because I couldnt stand being on the emotional rollercoaster anymore).

 

So, here I am. I am not going to contact him and i will do my best to ignore his attempts to contact me (if he makes any)

[FriendnorFoe]

pretty psyched, I just bought an elliptical machine, my joints are bad from years of labor intensive work so the running I have been doing to get in shape is taking its toll on me as you can imagine. These things are way better than running in regards to less stress on your body, besides there are two gyms in my town, 1 of them I had amembership to but it is so small and everybody in town goes there, I hate waiting to use equiptment, and well the other one charges you like 60 or 70 dollars a month, screw that, anyways Ive been trying to save my money but I feel like I will be getting good use out of this purchase and will help me on my road to getting in better shape that I am already on.

[tujna]

It has been almost 15 days since I haven't seen him and 3 since I last called him. I feel calm tonight, the morning was a bit tougher. But for first time, over the last months, I studied at school between classes, listened to the professors and at work did not think about him but about my upcoming exams. Please tell me this IS a sign of improvement Will report on this more soon.

[4dogs]

Well today she keeps writing derogatory things about me on the internet and stopped by without warning to drop some stuff off. If I hadnt found the stuff in my mailbox I would never have known she was here!

 

She probably expects me to call her.

[ScorpiGal83]

Wow SG, you are doing so well. I'm loving your pic too

 

I think I'm on Day 4, not really counting anymore. I got a reply to my 'funny' email yesterday (I sent it THREE days ago). Strange

 

The new guy I have been emailing wants to meet up so I'm now trying to come up with possible places to go and that's keeping me distracted for now.

 

Aww, that's awesome! I have yet to score a date with anyone - i'm just so afraid of rejection but ugh who cares I should just go for it right??

 

This weekend my friends are taking me clubbing and to meet their (supposedly) hot male friend who does sound delicious but I'll wait and see first

 

Don't reply to the email you got.. just leave it at that and NO MORE forwarding funny emails to the ex!

 

I'm doing really well at the gym, when I'm on the treadmill I can now run continuously for 9 minutes which is quite the achievement for me - I could only do 3 minutes and then feel like I'm going to die before this. The gradient is 3.0 and speed is 8.8. Hope that's good, I wanna go for 10 minutes next time!! YEAHHHH!! haha.

[Cat76]

Aww, that's awesome! I have yet to score a date with anyone - i'm just so afraid of rejection but ugh who cares I should just go for it right??

 

This weekend my friends are taking me clubbing and to meet their (supposedly) hot male friend who does sound delicious but I'll wait and see first

 

Don't reply to the email you got.. just leave it at that and NO MORE forwarding funny emails to the ex!

 

I'm doing really well at the gym, when I'm on the treadmill I can now run continuously for 9 minutes which is quite the achievement for me - I could only do 3 minutes and then feel like I'm going to die before this. The gradient is 3.0 and speed is 8.8. Hope that's good, I wanna go for 10 minutes next time!! YEAHHHH!! haha.

 

Hi SG

 

I'm not so scared of rejection with the new guy, just scared of how I still feel about the ex. It's all a bit confusing.

 

I haven't replied to the last email, and I'm not going to

 

I'm very impressed with your exercising, I can't keep the jogging up for more then about a minute! I'm sure it will get easier. Either that or I'll collapse at some point...LOL

[ToodlePip]

I'm getting a bit worried. I've been going out and drinking regularly now for a couple of weeks, and had my 2nd one night stand in 3 weeks. I feel like things are falling apart at the seams a bit. I can't tell whether I've regressed from anger back to denial and this behaviour is symptomatic, or whether I'm still in the anger stage and "taking it out" on myself in a way. Problem is that the girl from last night is someone I can't really avoid if she doesn't want to drop it - really feel stupid this morning. I think she could tell from my behaviour this morning that I was conflicted with what happened. I guess I'm going to have to have a difficult conversation with her. Really need to think with my head, drink less and keep my trousers on.

[pace of ace]

Day 15

 

Remarkably easy this NC thing is getting. I feel an inner strength inside me i never knew i had and for the first time, i'm truly actually believing it's my ex's loss more than it is mine. I am such a top guy that whoever is lucky enough to get under my wing next will be a lucky girl!

 

But right now, i'm cool on my own. Summer is coming and i have the beach on my door step so here's to that!

[hesnotworthit]

DAY 16

meh. today was ok. probally cuz i didnt get to see any friends. but i didnt wollow around, thinking about him constintly sad. its also cool how i dont feel the need to cry anymore, i dont need to hold myself back from crying anymore, cuz im done crying over him. the last time i cried was when i got home from running into/seeing him out for the first time since breakup...which was like a week ago!

still helping talking all day everyday to a friend about her recent break up. its like everytime i convince her how much better off she is without his * * * * , im convincing myself at the same time how much better i am, without my ex. its like when i council, and help others with their problems, i help myself at the same time. its weirdo!

new hair cut and dye, since break up, tomorrow

i wonder what he's up to...

[BrokenheartUK]

Day 60 for me. It's her birthday on Friday which will be my biggest test yet, but I will not break.

[LemonCheesecak]

I'm getting a bit worried. I've been going out and drinking regularly now for a couple of weeks, and had my 2nd one night stand in 3 weeks. I feel like things are falling apart at the seams a bit. I can't tell whether I've regressed from anger back to denial and this behaviour is symptomatic, or whether I'm still in the anger stage and "taking it out" on myself in a way. Problem is that the girl from last night is someone I can't really avoid if she doesn't want to drop it - really feel stupid this morning. I think she could tell from my behaviour this morning that I was conflicted with what happened. I guess I'm going to have to have a difficult conversation with her. Really need to think with my head, drink less and keep my trousers on.

 

It's an easy place to fall into, especially with friends. I've been trying to cut out alcohol completely for a while because I felt it was bringing me down and hindering me, but my friends insist its what I need to keep my mind off things and get back out there. They couldn't be more wrong. I had a chance a few nights ago but didn't get as far as chatting cos I realised I'd had too much and didn't wanna blow my first chance because I was too drunk.

 

Day 12

 

Today was harder. Went shopping back in my hometown and although I haven't seen her (actually, I realised we haven't seen each other or even heard each others voice since middle of February!) I suppose the familiar sites of home kinda stirred up some bad feelings. Still getting by though, lots of questions filling my head about what my aspirations and reasons for life are, but this I see this as a good thing. Soul searching, if you will.

[melpa]

its day 2 and i'm feeling surprisingly strong, falling out with him usually leaves me a sad, emotional, grovelling mess. It has been a busy week, maybe thats why.

 

I am going to keep this going.

 

If he cares about me enough, then I will hear from him in the end.

[Wanted]

Day 3...

 

Think about her every second. But gotta be strong!

[FriendnorFoe]

just found out my grandmother had a stroke today, they dont know yet if she is gonna have permanent psychall damage but her memory isnt there, she dosent recognize who is who, work was hell knowing this, I felt so down, The two people that I am closest to are her and my mother but my mother is hard headed sometimes so I could always count on my grandma to talk to. I felt like caving in so bad to call my ex to tell her(she was close to her too), I was emotionally unstable and I am glad I didnt do that. I dunno perhaps I was using it as an excuse, I would love to talk to her too but whatever. I guess Ill stick with NC and deal with this one on my own.

[Ixtapa]

Day 9.....

[LemonCheesecak]

just found out my grandmother had a stroke today, they dont know yet if she is gonna have permanent psychall damage but her memory isnt there, she dosent recognize who is who, work was hell knowing this, I felt so down, The two people that I am closest to are her and my mother but my mother is hard headed sometimes so I could always count on my grandma to talk to. I felt like caving in so bad to call my ex to tell her(she was close to her too), I was emotionally unstable and I am glad I didnt do that. I dunno perhaps I was using it as an excuse, I would love to talk to her too but whatever. I guess Ill stick with NC and deal with this one on my own.

 

FriendnorFoe, I'm really sorry to hear what happened, but I admire you so much for not caving and keeping up the NC, it took a lot of courage and I just think you need to hear some praise for that. Hope everything works out alright, always remember there's someone around to talk to that isn't your ex.