Getting back together really does happen!

[enweth]

1. a friend of mine was dating a guy and he suddenly broke up with her. He said mean things like he doesn't like her anymore because she was not pretty enough for him, she had bad breath etc. he then proceeded to go after her best friend. That was at least 5 years ago, i don't know what transpired then or how they got back together, but i just saw their wedding photo on facebook.

 

2. my cousin and his wife were together for many years. one day i found out that they broke up and started seeing other people because they were righting too much. They were in their early 30s then. My cousin told me that although he was sure the relationship couldn't continue, somehow they were on each other's mind even while they were seeing other people. They somehow got back together and married a few years ago. Both are 38 years old and trying for a kid.

[Raindrop22]

So hard to keep NC. I broke down because negative thoughts kept filling my mind. Like maybe he doesn't miss me, he doesn't care, he's moved on. But knowing him, I know he cares and misses me a lot. It was the relationship that was messy. I've already taken steps to bettering myself and workout my issues because if we were to get back together, I'd want it to be for good.

 

So hopefully I can help anyone out there by saying NC makes us have crazy thoughts. A lot of which are not true but seems easy to believe. Don't dwell on it. I know it's hard but go do something like talk to a friend, grab ice cream, watch movies, go to the park! Be busy working or focus on your school.

 

For me, I know a bit of NC will make him curious about what I might be up to and how I am doing. He's always been caring towards me in that way. Especially before we dated! We were best friends. If 3 days go by, he would reach out and ask me if I was ok and was worried. He cared deeply for me in that way and it doesn't just go away. So long as I give him space and be respectful.

 

With that said! I'm trying to bump this forum in hopes more people would type their story.

 

Here's a positive story:

 

I knew a couple who dated through high school and college. They would keep breaking up only to come back to each other again. About 2 years ago they had so much fight that they ended things. The girl moved on to date a guy who looked exactly like her ex. I honestly couldn't believe how much her new guy looked just like her ex. Meanwhile her ex tried talking to other girls but couldn't connect with them because his ex was a huge part of his life. They practically grew up together. 6 months after the breakup, they get back together. They just bought their first house together and look so happy. They truly know in their hearts that they are meant to be. Nothing could keep them away from each other. They are currently both 26, just to give you an idea.

[Raindrop22]

In other news, it was announced today that Scott and Kourtney Kardashian are getting back together. Not that I care, just heard it and it reminded me to post some reconcile story.

[dino7994]

I have a couple.

 

My grandmother dated my grandfather for quite a while. He broke up with her and ended up dating her sister! He realized that it was really my grandmother that he wanted, and they ended up married until my grandfather passed away.

 

My most recent ex and I dated for three months in high school, but broke up when he went off to college (I still had a year left in high school) in part because of commitment issues, and I also think GIGS played a role. He came back about 6 months later. I had already moved on and was seeing someone else, but once that fizzled my ex and I reunited. We maintained a relationship for another 4 years, and recently split because the distance between us (we attend schools in different states) became too difficult and we also decided we should learn to be less dependent on one another and live apart. We left the door open for a future when I move back and if we are both single. Maybe I'll be adding that story one day!

[Raindrop22]

Dino, I wish you guys many luck! Relationships are weird and I'm at the point where I'm in waves. One moment I'm fine, the next I am so sad. Thanks for sharing your story! I hope to also come back and share mine. Who knows.

[allibaidoo4]

My ex and I have been on and off for 4 years due to him breaking up with me twice. I am finally deciding to cut the cord in hopes that he realizes what he has and wants and mans up because I am really tired of having a roller coaster relationship but anyway.

 

I have two stories.

 

My sorority sister was dating this guy that she really liked in high school. One day she was heading to go on vacation with her family and was told by her friend that her bf cheated on her. When my sorority sister returned she dumped him and cut him off completely. After that he moved on to do whatever and she ended up dating another guy for about three years. In her sophomore year of college she reunited with her ex and a year later he proposed and eventually had a baby girl together.

 

Second story

 

The same sorority sister, her mom and step dad were dating and madly in love. One day her step dad picked up and left with no explanation. My sorority sister's mom and became really depressed and tried to commit suicide. Eventually she started to turn her life around , dedicated herself to church and her kids and a year later my sorority sister's step dad returned begging her mom to take him back and now they are married and happy more than ever. They still don't really know the details on way he left but hey it is what it is.

 

In other news

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth are dating again!I love them together.

[Raindrop22]

That's cool about Miley and Liam. I wonder the story behind that.

 

And I just remembered a story from college.

 

There was a guy who I thought was cute and wanted to get to know him. He took an interest and we would go on walks around our campus at night and just talk about life and everything. He seemed pretty strung up on his ex girlfriend who he said left him and for a guy she had been talking to. She hadn't done anything physical, it was emotional cheating as he puts it. He couldn't stand the thought of it and was sad because he wanted to marry this girl and saw a future with her but they were long distance (2 hours away). He told me he had a plan to ride his bike to her house with flowers and that he was going to plead her to stay with him and that they would make it work. Well turns out she did take him back and they exchanged promise rings and were to get engaged once graduation hit. Around graduation I saw on Facebook they had gotten engaged and got a place together. He wasn't willing to let her go at any cost. They loved each other, she just likely had a bit of GIGS with the distance and all.

 

I'm happy for them. They had a special love and bond and you can just tell. When you're young, it's easy to stray and have your emotions and interest be all over the place. I love these stories and hope more people can share.

[Jagg]

So hard to keep NC. I broke down because negative thoughts kept filling my mind. Like maybe he doesn't miss me, he doesn't care, he's moved on. But knowing him, I know he cares and misses me a lot. It was the relationship that was messy. I've already taken steps to bettering myself and workout my issues because if we were to get back together, I'd want it to be for good.

 

So hopefully I can help anyone out there by saying NC makes us have crazy thoughts. A lot of which are not true but seems easy to believe. Don't dwell on it. I know it's hard but go do something like talk to a friend, grab ice cream, watch movies, go to the park! Be busy working or focus on your school.

 

For me, I know a bit of NC will make him curious about what I might be up to and how I am doing. He's always been caring towards me in that way. Especially before we dated! We were best friends. If 3 days go by, he would reach out and ask me if I was ok and was worried. He cared deeply for me in that way and it doesn't just go away. So long as I give him space and be respectful.

 

With that said! I'm trying to bump this forum in hopes more people would type their story.

 

Here's a positive story:

 

I knew a couple who dated through high school and college. They would keep breaking up only to come back to each other again. About 2 years ago they had so much fight that they ended things. The girl moved on to date a guy who looked exactly like her ex. I honestly couldn't believe how much her new guy looked just like her ex. Meanwhile her ex tried talking to other girls but couldn't connect with them because his ex was a huge part of his life. They practically grew up together. 6 months after the breakup, they get back together. They just bought their first house together and look so happy. They truly know in their hearts that they are meant to be. Nothing could keep them away from each other. They are currently both 26, just to give you an idea.

 

You are so right! NC is hard but it helps, and I feel like sometimes is easy to tell others to go no contact but when is about yourself, it´s HARD! I have been having great days and bad days, a roller coaster of feelings since my ex GF broke up with me! But I am really commited to be great, to heal and to improve because I believe She is the most amazing woman I have ever met! And I know She loves me, and now I have realized what I did wrong; I gave her for granted and I was lazy but not anymore, because you don´t know what you have until is gone!

 

PS: I sent you a PM Raindrop22!

[Raindrop22]

BUMP!

 

Even though I've read through all this, it does help me when I can't sleep at night. I start to re-read some stories on here. Even though everyone's situation is different, we can only know from our gut feeling what could be going on. No matter how things ended. Put aside your feelings and try to think logically. The first week is awful, I know. Just cry it out and do whatever to purge that sadness but eventually you'll have to use more logic. The point is, past love always around around one way or another. Realize it. The sooner you start NC, the sooner your recovery. I know everything is tainted with sadness and you don't care to do anything and all you want to do is lay in bed and cry or work a lot.

Just try to remember that our thoughts tend to get the best of us. Our brain purposely makes us think the worse in order to protect us. Usually this occurs more in people who have had a rough life and no stability. So try to be logical. If you think your partner doesn't care by being cold and distancy, it means they are trying to block those feelings of weakness on purpose. They disconnect so they can move on from what happened. The future is not define, we don't know what it holds. Get your life together. Don't drink alcohol, quit smoking, try building healthy habits. It will open new dimensions for you. I know you can't see it now but just keep busy by building healthy habits. It'll make you happier and be able to let go of the pain of whatever happened. This doesn't mean you have to stop loving your partner. It means you've decided to love YOU first. Before you know it, months have passed and your SO will probably wonder what you been up to. They may throw breadcrumbs to see if you'll catch but don't give in. You'll be too happy and fine. With that said, here's my story in more detail of how an ex came back.

 

 

We were good friends. End of high school we started to date. Did everything together! Life was infinite, anything was possible, I was in love! 2 years later we broke up. At this point I had written in my journal about my whole grieving process. Somewhere during those 2 years we had broken up for a few weeks due to a lot of fighting but made up and picked up where we left off (oops, should have gone slow but we were young). Anyways this was our 2nd breakup after 2 years. I was crushed! First month was begging pleading on my end. I was crushed. Even to this day, I can remember that pain I felt. And I've experienced heartbreak after. Nothing like that though. I remember crying everyday in bed. Couldn't eat. I had to stay at my aunts house for 3 weeks because there was too many memories at home. Id wake up at 2 am bursting into tears wondering WHY. Several weeks later I reached anger phase. During this time I allowed myself to feel angry for him ending things. I blocked him on all social media. Actually I deactivated my

Facebook, deleted texts, put all our pics in a file uploaded someplace so I didn't have to randomly see it. I put box of our stuff in storage. At this point, it was best to not have Facebook mostly so I didn't have to ever be tempted to see what he was doing. Plus this gave me time to focus on me without seeing what others were doing. I slowly started to hang with friends and picked up rock climbing again. I built new memories with friends at places him and I use to go to. I became at peace. I still loved him but I wasn't emotionally messed up on him or the breakup. I was able to understand " didn't workout for whatever reason". I didn't blame anyone for anything. I just lived. Then I dated this guy who was very kind to me. Nothing serious, just a fling. Someone to take me out and buy me dinner. It was very casual. The attention and kindness was an ego boost and made me feel appreciated. I wasn't emotionally ready to be in anything serious at all. Anyways my ex would text bread crumbs here and there and surprinsgly I never responded. Mostly, whenever I saw those texts I had the "whatever I don't care what you have to say you heart breaker". I kept on living my life with him at the very back of my mind. During this time I was also writing in my online blog about everything I felt/going though. Haha so it's nice to reflect back on. Fast forward 8 months since the breakup. He texts me letting me know he was moving across the world for military purposes and he only had a few days left in town. As much as I didn't want to respond. I did. Now let me tell you, each time he texted and I didn't respond, it felt oddly "good". And this person was someone I saw myself marrying. I loved him very very much. Time changes a lot. Soo, I texted him nonchalantly and told him I'd meet up for coffee. We went to a beautiful coffee shop by a lake (he picked this place). I showed up and sat. He came up minutes later with the biggest effing smile on his face I had ever seen in all my life. To this day, I can never forget it. He's very shy and reserved so this was oddly different and interesting. We talked about what one another were up no what lies ahead. I laughed a lot and remembered feeling good about myself and my independence.

The conversation led to him telling him he missed me. I told him I missed him too, we had great memories together. He couldn't stop smiling still. I think all the bad fights and negative things that were said disappeared and he couldn't seem to remember them. Funny how that works.

And trust me, our fights were AWFUL. I mean, I was emotional, he was always wanting to spend more time with his friends then with me. We said a lot of awful things to each other. When we are upset we say things to someone that doesn't really reflect our true feelings. Time heals these things.

That day we didn't want to end it after coffee. We decided to go do something else. So we went on a drive. We use to love aimlessly driving and being spontaneous. So we did that. I jumped into his car and off we go. Our conversation made a lot of memories come back. It felt as if 8 months apart never happened. Seriously, we just picked up where we left off. We actually decided that evening that we didn't want to be apart anymore. It was mostly him being suggestive. I had my walls up and was hesitant. I didn't want all my hard work to go to waste.

I was shocked, I think we both were. That we got back together that evening. We were "offical". We didn't take it slow. Just full force. Now I don't recommend you all to do this. It's just what happened for us. We spent those last few days together before he left. And now begans our LDR.

One of the things we had a hard time with during our relationship first time around was communication issues. When we started our LDR... I was scared but we promised to keep communication healthy and always be open. This promise was never broken. We were so happy supporting one another. I moved to go to college. He was in the army. It was romantic! He traveled to see me across the globe during his 2 week off. We planned this huge elaborate get away on a cruise with some of my family. At the end of that trip, we went for our last dinner before we parted ways and he gave me this speech during dinner and then gave me a tiny box. I thought he was proposing. But it was a promise ring. It was so beautiful! He told me that seeing and spending those 2 weeks with me, he knew in his heart we were meant to be. I cried and my heart was so filled with love. We parted ways and the parting did not hurt as much. We kept communicating well and after about a year, I was really diving deep with college and consumed. I took my school more seriously then ever because I was becoming passionate about my area of studies. It fueled me in a way that I was literally sleeping, eating, breathing school. I started to drift from him. But he was also drifting due to how busy he got on his end. He was constantly traveling and incredibly consumed by the army. This lead to us having a very amicable mutual breakup. That was 4 years ago and we are still friends and talk now and then. I've been in 2 relationships since then but he has been single all this time (shocking, he's too cute). He's currently living in the same country as me just across on the other side though. I have no idea what the future holds. I just wanted others to read my very deeply detailed story haha because it helped me to read others. Although I wish there were more details to a lot of these stories.

I can't believe we drifted apart. I was never depressed about that but from time to time I'd think back and wonder how we were able to do that so mutually. We were kind to one another during this time.

 

My current ex right now, it's another story but in a lot of ways I felt more closer to and trusted even more. Right now I am in NC and trying to follow my own advice. I'm trying to do what I did in that relationship. We have this deep intense care for one another. Call it love or whatever but you just know when two ppl care a lot for one another. I'm moving on and treating this like it's over for good. Just like I did in that other relationship. Finding my ground and happiness alone. As much as I miss him. I'm also working on my personal issues (anxiety, ptsd, self esteem). Deep down, of course I hope if we ever grab coffee, those sparks will be flying around and he'd have a huge smile on his face and that deep care for one another would kick in. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I'm using this time to try and not think about what he's up to, what he's doing, etc. does me no good. I'm just strictly doing NC. Not even to bread crumbs. Until "I" am ready because this is more important right now. Not sure what the future holds but I'm trying to keep positive and will promise to come back and write on here if anything were to happen.

Until then, I'll keep sharing other stories.

 

PM me if you want to talk or anything.

[saintlygrim]

It's been almost 3 months since my ldr ex-gf of a year broke up with me... I going to start to see a therapist soon due to severe depression I've gotten (she was the first and only person that made me feel not alone and she was the first person I could talk to about anything). I still have hope but I know it's best to expect the worst. I will always be there for her because I still love her and always will. *sighs* Life can really knock you down at times. I'm writing this because I want to let you all know that even though it's hard, you are not alone and do not give up hope but it's best not expect much just in case. I wish you all great luck in your situations

[Bigdeal123]

BUMP!

 

Even though I've read through all this, it does help me when I can't sleep at night. I start to re-read some stories on here. Even though everyone's situation is different, we can only know from our gut feeling what could be going on. No matter how things ended. Put aside your feelings and try to think logically. The first week is awful, I know. Just cry it out and do whatever to purge that sadness but eventually you'll have to use more logic. The point is, past love always around around one way or another. Realize it. The sooner you start NC, the sooner your recovery. I know everything is tainted with sadness and you don't care to do anything and all you want to do is lay in bed and cry or work a lot.

Just try to remember that our thoughts tend to get the best of us. Our brain purposely makes us think the worse in order to protect us. Usually this occurs more in people who have had a rough life and no stability. So try to be logical. If you think your partner doesn't care by being cold and distancy, it means they are trying to block those feelings of weakness on purpose. They disconnect so they can move on from what happened. The future is not define, we don't know what it holds. Get your life together. Don't drink alcohol, quit smoking, try building healthy habits. It will open new dimensions for you. I know you can't see it now but just keep busy by building healthy habits. It'll make you happier and be able to let go of the pain of whatever happened. This doesn't mean you have to stop loving your partner. It means you've decided to love YOU first. Before you know it, months have passed and your SO will probably wonder what you been up to. They may throw breadcrumbs to see if you'll catch but don't give in. You'll be too happy and fine. With that said, here's my story in more detail of how an ex came back.

 

 

We were good friends. End of high school we started to date. Did everything together! Life was infinite, anything was possible, I was in love! 2 years later we broke up. At this point I had written in my journal about my whole grieving process. Somewhere during those 2 years we had broken up for a few weeks due to a lot of fighting but made up and picked up where we left off (oops, should have gone slow but we were young). Anyways this was our 2nd breakup after 2 years. I was crushed! First month was begging pleading on my end. I was crushed. Even to this day, I can remember that pain I felt. And I've experienced heartbreak after. Nothing like that though. I remember crying everyday in bed. Couldn't eat. I had to stay at my aunts house for 3 weeks because there was too many memories at home. Id wake up at 2 am bursting into tears wondering WHY. Several weeks later I reached anger phase. During this time I allowed myself to feel angry for him ending things. I blocked him on all social media. Actually I deactivated my

Facebook, deleted texts, put all our pics in a file uploaded someplace so I didn't have to randomly see it. I put box of our stuff in storage. At this point, it was best to not have Facebook mostly so I didn't have to ever be tempted to see what he was doing. Plus this gave me time to focus on me without seeing what others were doing. I slowly started to hang with friends and picked up rock climbing again. I built new memories with friends at places him and I use to go to. I became at peace. I still loved him but I wasn't emotionally messed up on him or the breakup. I was able to understand " didn't workout for whatever reason". I didn't blame anyone for anything. I just lived. Then I dated this guy who was very kind to me. Nothing serious, just a fling. Someone to take me out and buy me dinner. It was very casual. The attention and kindness was an ego boost and made me feel appreciated. I wasn't emotionally ready to be in anything serious at all. Anyways my ex would text bread crumbs here and there and surprinsgly I never responded. Mostly, whenever I saw those texts I had the "whatever I don't care what you have to say you heart breaker". I kept on living my life with him at the very back of my mind. During this time I was also writing in my online blog about everything I felt/going though. Haha so it's nice to reflect back on. Fast forward 8 months since the breakup. He texts me letting me know he was moving across the world for military purposes and he only had a few days left in town. As much as I didn't want to respond. I did. Now let me tell you, each time he texted and I didn't respond, it felt oddly "good". And this person was someone I saw myself marrying. I loved him very very much. Time changes a lot. Soo, I texted him nonchalantly and told him I'd meet up for coffee. We went to a beautiful coffee shop by a lake (he picked this place). I showed up and sat. He came up minutes later with the biggest effing smile on his face I had ever seen in all my life. To this day, I can never forget it. He's very shy and reserved so this was oddly different and interesting. We talked about what one another were up no what lies ahead. I laughed a lot and remembered feeling good about myself and my independence.

The conversation led to him telling him he missed me. I told him I missed him too, we had great memories together. He couldn't stop smiling still. I think all the bad fights and negative things that were said disappeared and he couldn't seem to remember them. Funny how that works.

And trust me, our fights were AWFUL. I mean, I was emotional, he was always wanting to spend more time with his friends then with me. We said a lot of awful things to each other. When we are upset we say things to someone that doesn't really reflect our true feelings. Time heals these things.

That day we didn't want to end it after coffee. We decided to go do something else. So we went on a drive. We use to love aimlessly driving and being spontaneous. So we did that. I jumped into his car and off we go. Our conversation made a lot of memories come back. It felt as if 8 months apart never happened. Seriously, we just picked up where we left off. We actually decided that evening that we didn't want to be apart anymore. It was mostly him being suggestive. I had my walls up and was hesitant. I didn't want all my hard work to go to waste.

I was shocked, I think we both were. That we got back together that evening. We were "offical". We didn't take it slow. Just full force. Now I don't recommend you all to do this. It's just what happened for us. We spent those last few days together before he left. And now begans our LDR.

One of the things we had a hard time with during our relationship first time around was communication issues. When we started our LDR... I was scared but we promised to keep communication healthy and always be open. This promise was never broken. We were so happy supporting one another. I moved to go to college. He was in the army. It was romantic! He traveled to see me across the globe during his 2 week off. We planned this huge elaborate get away on a cruise with some of my family. At the end of that trip, we went for our last dinner before we parted ways and he gave me this speech during dinner and then gave me a tiny box. I thought he was proposing. But it was a promise ring. It was so beautiful! He told me that seeing and spending those 2 weeks with me, he knew in his heart we were meant to be. I cried and my heart was so filled with love. We parted ways and the parting did not hurt as much. We kept communicating well and after about a year, I was really diving deep with college and consumed. I took my school more seriously then ever because I was becoming passionate about my area of studies. It fueled me in a way that I was literally sleeping, eating, breathing school. I started to drift from him. But he was also drifting due to how busy he got on his end. He was constantly traveling and incredibly consumed by the army. This lead to us having a very amicable mutual breakup. That was 4 years ago and we are still friends and talk now and then. I've been in 2 relationships since then but he has been single all this time (shocking, he's too cute). He's currently living in the same country as me just across on the other side though. I have no idea what the future holds. I just wanted others to read my very deeply detailed story haha because it helped me to read others. Although I wish there were more details to a lot of these stories.

I can't believe we drifted apart. I was never depressed about that but from time to time I'd think back and wonder how we were able to do that so mutually. We were kind to one another during this time.

 

My current ex right now, it's another story but in a lot of ways I felt more closer to and trusted even more. Right now I am in NC and trying to follow my own advice. I'm trying to do what I did in that relationship. We have this deep intense care for one another. Call it love or whatever but you just know when two ppl care a lot for one another. I'm moving on and treating this like it's over for good. Just like I did in that other relationship. Finding my ground and happiness alone. As much as I miss him. I'm also working on my personal issues (anxiety, ptsd, self esteem). Deep down, of course I hope if we ever grab coffee, those sparks will be flying around and he'd have a huge smile on his face and that deep care for one another would kick in. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I'm using this time to try and not think about what he's up to, what he's doing, etc. does me no good. I'm just strictly doing NC. Not even to bread crumbs. Until "I" am ready because this is more important right now. Not sure what the future holds but I'm trying to keep positive and will promise to come back and write on here if anything were to happen.

Until then, I'll keep sharing other stories.

 

PM me if you want to talk or anything.

 

My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me over a text mesg on xmas eve day saying he doesn't think the relationship is going anywhere. Later that day, he emailed me to let me know since my reply texts were vitriol, he had to block me from his cell. A month later, I received a text from him letting me he has unblocked me thinking I will be more cordial and how to exchange our personal items. He gave me one option and since I couldn't do it, I never heard from him till yesterday. He texted me asking me that he lost one of my emails/texts bcs his phone was overwhelmed due to the length of my text! and if I could send it again? I know I have not sent anything to him since that text of exchange of items(yet to happen). So I waited till this morning to let him know I do not recall sending him anything recently and he referred to that text of the almost 4 month ago at the time of break up. Why do you want my texts from then if you have made up and Had made up your mind regarding our relationship and why would you care about my discontentment after 4 months? What do you guys think? As much as I am dying to find out what he is thinking and up to, I am not going to give in. At least not now. help me.

[Raindrop22]

That's weird. I think it's an excuse to see if you'll bite and to see if you're still interested. It's obvious he's thinking of you. Not sure in what way but I can see how this might be confusing and strange.

He was likely feeling lonely and seeing if you had anything to say. Don't give in to it. He needs to come full force for you to break NC.

 

Here's a story of people getting back together.

 

- my aunt was crazy and argumentative. Her man at the time got fed up and left. A few months later he shows up at her door with flowers. And asks her back. She took him back and now they been married 8 years and have a son together.

 

- In high school I dated a guy for a year and a half. He broke up with me on MySpace because his best bud liked me a lot and it killed him to see us together. Haha right? Anyways fast forward 4 years. We reconnect and hangout as friends. I felt daring and randomly texted him one night asking if he had an admiration for me. He said yes and that I hold a special place in his heart and that he's always felt something for me. I didn't do anything about this. I kind of changed the subject and that was 2 years ago. We are still the greatest of friends and he's always been kind to me. Who knows what the future holds but all I know is that life is weird and works in mysterious ways.

 

- I have a friend, she has always had her exes all come back to her even when things ended badly. All but 1! Because that one guy is with someone else. It just goes to say that exes always come back. It takes 1-3 years for bad memories to fade so that good ones remain.

 

I'll share more stories as I think of them.

[el3112]

Well.. a man I knew cheated on his gf, he regretted it a lot! Now they are back together, took several months though, they are now happier than they were before.

[Bigdeal123]

That's weird. I think it's an excuse to see if you'll bite and to see if you're still interested. It's obvious he's thinking of you. Not sure in what way but I can see how this might be confusing and strange.

He was likely feeling lonely and seeing if you had anything to say. Don't give in to it. He needs to come full force for you to break NC.

 

Here's a story of people getting back together.

 

- my aunt was crazy and argumentative. Her man at the time got fed up and left. A few months later he shows up at her door with flowers. And asks her back. She took him back and now they been married 8 years and have a son together.

 

- In high school I dated a guy for a year and a half. He broke up with me on MySpace because his best bud liked me a lot and it killed him to see us together. Haha right? Anyways fast forward 4 years. We reconnect and hangout as friends. I felt daring and randomly texted him one night asking if he had an admiration for me. He said yes and that I hold a special place in his heart and that he's always felt something for me. I didn't do anything about this. I kind of changed the subject and that was 2 years ago. We are still the greatest of friends and he's always been kind to me. Who knows what the future holds but all I know is that life is weird and works in mysterious ways.

 

- I have a friend, she has always had her exes all come back to her even when things ended badly. All but 1! Because that one guy is with someone else. It just goes to say that exes always come back. It takes 1-3 years for bad memories to fade so that good ones remain.

 

I'll share more stories as I think of them.

 

Not sure in what way ?? What way? what does even mean? what are the ways you can think of someone and then text them???

He was likely feeling lonely : He doesn't feel lonely. He is lonely. Absolutely no friends, no family. I was his everything when it came to his loneliness!!!

I asked if I could him some article I have recently read and I thought the traits resonated a lot with he and I and our relationship and he replied back: sure... I sent them to him this morning. Why men are so confusing?? What is up with all the mind games??

[Raindrop22]

It feels like mind games but maybe it's because he's taking time to process. Women are very quick. Men take their time and are more "in the now". At least from my experience.

 

Give him some space. Let him come to you. Maybe avoid saying things that'll make him reactant. Like don't say how much you love and miss him. Since you're in limited contact. Maybe talk about a memory or inside joke. You have to build that attraction back up. I don't know much about your situation to advice anything sorry.

 

When I said lonely. Maybe he just needed to text someone because he was use to having you to talk to all the time and so he reached out to just say something that wasn't awkward. He likely couldn't think of what to say so he tried to play it cool by asking about some old text.

[Bigdeal123]

It feels like mind games but maybe it's because he's taking time to process. Women are very quick. Men take their time and are more "in the now". At least from my experience.

 

Give him some space. Let him come to you. Maybe avoid saying things that'll make him reactant. Like don't say how much you love and miss him. Since you're in limited contact. Maybe talk about a memory or inside joke. You have to build that attraction back up. I don't know much about your situation to advice anything sorry.

 

When I said lonely. Maybe he just needed to text someone because he was use to having you to talk to all the time and so he reached out to just say something that wasn't awkward. He likely couldn't think of what to say so he tried to play it cool by asking about some old text.

 

Oh absolutely not... What I don't understand is after 4 months why would he care about that text now? He is such a smart guy and after 3 years I know enough to realize he never had any intention of hurting me by any means. I don't blame him for breakup either. As much as I was sad and very very confused bcs I had no idea he was going to break up with me, and he did it in a bizarre way(by text and not giving me the opportunity to salvage the relationship)... knowing him I know he didn't do it with the intention of hurting me but more of his selfish way of his own survival? for the lack of a better word. Now he may have realized that he made a mistake?? but being an extreme introverted he is, the thoughts of being rejected is scaring him more than ever. If he texts me, I take my time to text him and if he doesn't, that is fine too. I am living my life and nothing will keep me from doing so!!! He can join me if he wants to and after he makes up his mind! I am just so happy that apparently he is not with someone else or he wouldn't give a damn about some random texts from for ever past to review and analyze his past relationship!

[Ksol9]

Oh absolutely not... What I don't understand is after 4 months why would he care about that text now? He is such a smart guy and after 3 years I know enough to realize he never had any intention of hurting me by any means. I don't blame him for breakup either. As much as I was sad and very very confused bcs I had no idea he was going to break up with me, and he did it in a bizarre way(by text and not giving me the opportunity to salvage the relationship)... knowing him I know he didn't do it with the intention of hurting me but more of his selfish way of his own survival? for the lack of a better word. Now he may have realized that he made a mistake?? but being an extreme introverted he is, the thoughts of being rejected is scaring him more than ever. If he texts me, I take my time to text him and if he doesn't, that is fine too. I am living my life and nothing will keep me from doing so!!! He can join me if he wants to and after he makes up his mind! I am just so happy that apparently he is not with someone else or he wouldn't give a damn about some random texts from for ever past to review and analyze his past relationship!

 

I think he's just trying to start communication with you. Pride and fear of rejection is a serious thing. Ive read all over this board it is the reason why people take so long to come back. They have to muster up the courage. At the same time, it could very well be anything. Either way, I can tell by your posts that you are at a place where you are strong. I think you'll be able to handle this. Move with caution. Guard your heart.

 

I wish you the best!

[Raindrop22]

Ksol9- that's an interesting perspective! One that I can agree on too.

 

 

This is a personal story:

- one of my ex boyfriends I was with for a few years decided he wanted a break because we were fighting a lot. It's so weird looking back at it now how stupid these fights were. So during this "break", I was devastated and thought it was over because everyone kept saying "oh you know what that means, it's over". A week later we talked and got back together. It was so silly because I spend the whole time being sad and thinking I lost him and I did NC. A week later he messaged me. He missed me and couldn't bare not talking to me anymore.

 

 

- another person I dated, I decided to take a break from them. I needed a week to myself to not be bothered and smothered by him so that I can think more clearly. I did end up going back and we were better. He tried to be better at communicating and also giving me space when I needed it. A week is not enough, I know. But when you're literally attached at the hip because you live together, it can be stressful. I stayed at my moms.

 

Those two stories were just about being on break in particular. I had seen many posts ago, someone asking if there were reconciliation after a "break". For some, break truly means wanting space without ending things. It is scary if your partner is the one who initiated it but in my case, it's been about needing space to breath so we can come back slower and not be so much in eachothers faces. Hopefully that makes sense.

 

The Notebook is about the girl coming back and realizing she still loves her beau from when she was younger! Even though she was engaged to get married to someone else. Incase any of you haven't seen it! Classic goody.

[Bigdeal123]

He butt called me today! He said he was getting in his car and for some reasons which I didn't understand what, his phone dialed me! I was nice and so was he! He laughed and said: "talk to you later!"... Look at me starting to get way ahead of myself. He also sent me in reply of my email research on Introverts and Extroverts personality traits, an email and at the end asking me what did I learn from those research!

[ScottM]

[video=youtube;4svm2Hlkac4] ]

 

This helps me not think of getting back together. It kind of has helped pass the pain???

[Raindrop22]

Let's keep this thread on topic. Make a separate thread please.

 

Another forum I read this lady was dumped by her guy because he didn't feel it anymore and didn't see himself with her. He left and she decided to go NC to gain her independence. She read a lot of self help books, got a therapist, worked on her happiness and started to feel great again. 10 months later they decided to take it slow. During the time apart, he would email her asking her for another chance and he apologized. He was telling her he went to therapy and stopped drinking and was becoming a new person. Anyways they took it slow for awhile and officially became an item after taking it slow for at least 7 months I think. They became official. The dumper came back. But he ended up leaving later because of his issues and she went back to NC.

 

He came back to her for all the wrong reasons because he actually lied that he ever did therapy. He mocked her behavior hence why it seemed he changed. The only person who worked on their issues diligently was the girl but she got played but she was a better person at the end because she had the strength to realize what a idiot he was. It's not a happy successful ending but it was a reconcile none the less.

 

I'll post some as I think of them. Many people in my life have reconcile stories, I just don't know much details.

[Wolfshook]

I swore to myself that I will not look at the last page of this thread untill I'm back with my ex ,and I will stick to that (I know it sounds stupid,but small things make life interesting) but I will share some stories I know of.

 

1) one older "friend" of mine was cheated by her latest husband and she broke off with him. During that time she got into contact with her first bf that is also divorced and they got back together after at least 15 to 20 years.

 

2) My ex-ex and her ex bf were together for 6 years but were breaking up and getting back together quite often, they once broke up for a few months and thats when me and her hit it off for the last time (but she and I dated shortly before she was with this guy), well then I started dating my current ex and she went back to that guy. They have recently broken up again,so not a really happy story but in previous breakups they would get back together often, this time I dont think so because he cheated.

 

3) One girl has fallen in love with my friend but she had boyfriend for 3 years. She left that bf for my friend but quickly realized she was still in love with her original bf and they got back together.

 

4) My ex-ex (from post above),kinda stated she wants to try again (after 2 years of nc) with me but this time more serious. But I'm not really into her and it's still too soon since my breakup but you never know what might come.

 

There are more stories but I know too little about them so it would be hard to tell.

[Ksol9]

I remember reading through this thread and hoping I'd be back one day to post my own story of getting back together.

 

My bf of one year broke up with me mid Feb. we broke up for a little over 2 months and we were in complete NC for a little over a month. It was a silent hell. We initially broke up because there was a lot of tension from fighting..trivial stuff, nothing major. Then one day he comes home from work and says, we need to break up. Things aren't going to get better and I also don't think I want to have more children (he has custody of his 2 children from a previous relationship). I was heartbroken and I swore he would never change his mind. Two months of torture and things didn't seem to be getting easier at all. I cried everyday for 2 months. He contacted me the beginning of this week and we've been working toward reconciliation. There is great importance in NC mostly because they need to be able to see what life is like without you and you also need to be able to let your emotions settle. Really trust what everyone says about NC. It's hard but worth it if you had a strong bond.

 

We are taking things slowly and we are trying to work on the things that were issues in our old relationship. We are stronger and better now. All the heartache and agony I suffered for 2 months! What an experience! I definitely grew and learned a lot from this. Good luck to those going through rough times. Stay strong and keep faith.

[cortneys11]

I hope it works out for you.

[Raindrop22]

I had been so caught up in my own emotions and healing that I forgot about a particular story of a family friend that shared this story with me.

 

 

We will call the guy Matt and the lady Jen. So Matt and Jen were so in love, got married and had a baby on the way. After the baby was born they had a lot of conflicts with one another. They just fought a lot and bud heads a lot. Matt told me that he was very stubborn and was young and didn't compromise. She finally decided to leave him when their daughter was about 6. They divorced. Yikes.

He said he was a mess! He tried dating and looking around but every girl was meaningless.

Jen met somebody and dated him and they even lived together. He began to get abusive and one night he almost killed her. He beat her, bruised her, broke her bones in front of the 6 year old. So sad!

The little girl was the one who called the police and the mom was rushed to the hospital. Matt was called to the hospital and he was devastated by what happened. He tried to be there for her as a friend and it was hard on him.

She was finally released from hospital and was to be put on bed rest. Matt moved in to help around the house, take care of the kid, and take care of feeding Jen. During this process, they fell in love with each again and decided to give it another shot. They just got remarried about 2 years ago and I never seen a couple more happy. They always seem so in sync. Matt was telling me that even though she left. He let her go. He loved her so much and knew she was his soul mate but he let her go because that's how much he cared and loved her. He respected her wishes and did all he could to get by. It killed him inside but he lived on doing the best he could. He told me the old line "if you love something let it go". He felt like the universe brought her back to him. He's a changed man and even went through therapy during his difficult time. He just went on and on about how much he adores her and their little family. They have been through so much but now they are together.

 

It was a week before their wedding. I was sitting with the wife and asked her how she felt about being with him again. She told me that life takes you by surprise and sometimes you lose sight of who loves you most and would do anything to protect you, take care of you, and be there through thick and thin. She chuckled and I'll never forget that twinkling look in her eyes. She said "I can't believe I'm marrying my ex husband next week. I feel so silly saying that but he's my true love. He never left my side. He respected my wishes when I left and gave me the space I needed. He showed me love in ways I never knew existed".

 

This story fills my heart up. I love them both and truly feel like true love always finds its way. What's meant to be will be. I also wanted to note that Jen never had gigs. She just couldn't take the fighting anymore. It seems like he's calmed a lot. Matt is just so much more easy going now. He says working out changed his life. It was an outlet for him and it caused them to fight way less.

I think she was with the abusive guy for a year. And I believe Matt and Jen were split up for 2-3 years. He was a friend to her when she needed it and they had a kid together so there was some contact. They didn't hangout a lot or anything. Just limited contact and sometimes friendly conversion as friends.