Getting back together really does happen!

[Geekinthepinkx]

My friend's boyfriend broke up with her for a period of 4 months, the first 2 months she went through severe depression. She had lost so much weight. After a while she realized that her current bf/then ex seemed to be happy, he wasn't starving himself, he wasn't going through depression so why should she?

 

It was only when she completely let go that he came back! They had absolutely NO contact for 4 months.

[Mangiafuoco]

My friend's boyfriend broke up with her for a period of 4 months, the first 2 months she went through severe depression. She had lost so much weight. After a while she realized that her current bf/then ex seemed to be happy, he wasn't starving himself, he wasn't going through depression so why should she?

 

It was only when she completely let go that he came back! They had absolutely NO contact for 4 months.

 

It seem to me that men come back more often than womens after a breakup.... would be nice to know if there is any statistic on this.

[lavitabella]

I have a few stories. Both good and bad. My own personal and people I know.

 

I messaged a friend that I made through my ex. She is my ex's friends girlfriend. I have developed a good relationship with a lot of his friends during our relationship. I miss them dearly and wish nothing but the best for them. We all went to highschool together, but they are 2-4 years older than me. They are all genuinely good people and was family to me at one point of my life, so id like to maintain a good relationship with them regardless of the situation. She was the girl I felt closest to. I messaged her telling her that even tho me and my ex have broken up, I would still like to stay in-contact with her.

 

She asked me what happened during the break up, I told her that he said he wanted to focus on himself, he wasn't ready to take it to the next level and basically said he wasn't ready. She said this was all too familiar of a story for her, and this is when she told me her story.

 

Let's call her Jen and her boyfriend Tom, they are both 26 years old.

 

1.) Jen and Tom have been together for 5+ years. He broke up with her, telling her that he wasn't ready and wanted to focus on himself. They did not speak at all for 6 months straight. She said they ran into each other one night, and she had too many things pent up inside. She wanted to tell him how she felt, and that is exactly what she did. She didn't get too into details with their breakup. They stayed broken up for another 1.5 years after that, so 2 years in total. She told me that at one point she tried very hard to let go, but she couldn't. They got back together. I've been around their group of friends. I've gotten to know them. Tom still has some traits that I don't condone for a guy that is in a relationship. But he has been trying to change. I remember in the beginning Tom told me that he doesn't believe in the idea of marriage. He said that you are together you are together, no need to get married. Closer to the end of last year, he told me he has changed his views on marriage, she has stuck with him through all these years and plans marry her.

 

2.) My own story. I was with my first love for 7 years. We were both 14 years old. As you all know the first year of a relationship is blissful and full of enjoyment. Then it starts to go through its rough patches. He kissed another girl. I was heart broken. He loved me though, I knew that. But I couldn't trust him anymore, but I felt as if I couldn't live without him. Slowly I started to become posessive, I was not happy about him going out with his friends, I was easily jealous. This all stemed from what he did, I tried to forget about it... but I couldn't. Our relationship went down from there, but we loved each other. We stayed together for another 5 years. He continued to lie to me about where he was going, who he was with, what he was doing, but who could blame him? I would constantly call and check up. It was not a good relationship.. He started to make online dating profiles which I found bizarre. But hey, when you're inlove you're blind, right? So I somehow made up some excuse in my head about how what he was doing was ok. Subconsciously without knowing it, I started to detach myself from him, he was putting me through too much, but yet i stayed. I had been wanting to leave for a long time, but I didn't have the heart to. I ended up kissing another guy that I went to college with, not because i was attracted to the other guy, no.. it was because i wanted him to feel the pain I went through. That he did. I ended up breaking up with him, I didnt think it was fair for him. We broke up for 6 months after that, I continued to see the other guy I cheated on him with for company. My ex didn't give up though. He called/texted/showed up at my house/give me gifts/show up at my work you name it, he did it. I felt awful. I still loved him though, but I didn't love our relationship. Finally, I decided to leave the other guy and take my ex back. We were happy for the first month. We stayed together for another 2 years after that, but he was consumed with jealousy. He started to go through the exact same feelings I went through when I found out he cheated on him. He checked up on me constantly, accused me of everything bad. I came back actually wanting to work the relationship out, not because i felt bad because i loved him.. but it couldn't work out. None of the issues that resulted in the breakup were fixed.

 

6 months later I dated 2 other guys. One for 2 months and my most recent ex for 1.2 years. My most recent ex he knows. He couldn't handle the idea. He ended up moving up north for work. To this day, he says he still cares and loves me. He said he wouldn't give up until the day that I marry. He is working very well and doing good for himself, and I am so proud of him. but I can't see us getting back together because I do not want to. There has been too much pain and distrust in our relationship, but he will always be a part of my life. I wish him well. I am here for him, and he is there for me.

 

3.) My grandma and my grandpa. I heard my grandpa thought my grandma was the most beautiful thing in the world. He loved her very much, but apparently he wasn't very faithful. He had a few affairs. My grandma couldn't take it anymore, and she left. She packed her stuff and left. My grandpa apparently searched for her, I dont know but apparently managed for find her. They got back together. They stayed married for 40+ years.

 

 

I am currently going through a breakup and may post questions here seeking out answers, as I am heart-broken and lost myself but this is what I believe.. and my own personal opinion. To everyone that is wanting to get back with their ex's back. Don't lose hope, but also don't lose yourself. If it's meant to be it will be.

 

Here are some scenarios you can pick from.

 

*You mope, feel bad for your self, re-play all the memories of you and your ex in your head over and over again, until your brain hurts, do nothing to move forward and heal yourself.. repeat for however long until you realize you've done nothing good and wasted YOUR OWN time. Watch your ex move on with their life because there is ABSOLUTELY nothing you can do to change that. Oh maybe if you just give it ONE LAST PHONE CALL.. or ONE LAST TEXT they might change their mind. Take it from me, I was a dumper.. them calling/texting/showing up at your house/giving me gifts.. was absolutely unattractive and I felt like he had no respect for what decision I've made.

 

*You pick yourself up, move on with your life, see your wrongs as an individual and as a partner and fix them. You're ex comes back (x) amount of time, and you are able to really work out the relationship.

 

*You pick yourself up, move on with your life, see your wrongs as an individual and as a partner and fix them. You meet the next person that might be the one for you, and you are able to have the absolute best relationship with that person.

 

 

If no one can take away your pain, don't let anyone take your happiness.

 

XO.

[Geekinthepinkx]

It seem to me that men come back more often than womens after a breakup.... would be nice to know if there is any statistic on this.

 

My ex hasn't come back yet lol

if you feel like you and your ex shared a lot of love, don't feel like it's never going to happen.

If you believe you were a good bf, just like for me a good gf, they will realize eventually and come back, especially if you change

[somegoodman]

It seem to me that men come back more often than womens after a breakup.... would be nice to know if there is any statistic on this.

 

Its true. When men break off relations, he usually still has some measure of emotional attachment to the girl but has decided to try his luck with another, maybe because he's more physically attracted.

 

When a woman breaks it off, its a severe emotional break. All of her love is invested in another and you might as well be roadkill. Women usually never come back, and if they do, their hearts aren't in it anyway. Only exception is if there wasn't another guy in the picture during the break, but that is so rare as to be irrelevant.

[Mangiafuoco]

Only exception is if there wasn't another guy in the picture during the break, but that is so rare as to be irrelevant.

 

Oh, i don't think it's so rare. A lot of women break without another guy in the picture. Maybe they will met him in the months after the breakup...

[sharky988]

If you believe you were a good bf, just like for me a good gf, they will realize eventually and come back, especially if you change

 

No, they don't always "realize eventually" or come back -- in fact, usually they don't, regardless of whether you change or not. Reconciliation is rare. You should take the breakup seriously and not continue living in denial.

[HeartGoesOn]

Mod Note: Let's be respectful, and stay on topic please.

[Geekinthepinkx]

Gambitismyhomy getting back story!

 

Sucessful reconciliation after 8 months- my story

8 Months broken up w/ 6 months of not seeing each other, 4 months NC and We are back together!

 

I've been wanting to post my success story here for awhile now but it's hard to try to sum up everything that's happened in the past year.

 

The reason I want to post is because during the first few months of my break up i was so totally devastated and heart broken (ie crying everyday, not eating, feel nauseous, not sleeping, even thinking about suicide) I was OBSESSED with this sub-forum. I would stay up all night looking for any success stories I could find for advice or just hope, I don't even remember.

 

background: I'm a 26 yr old female, he's a 23 year old male. We were together 4 years ( met in college). We were fighting a lot towards the end and I did a lot to push him away, (including ditching him to see a guy I developed a stupid stupid crush on). He eventually left me ( as is the case a lot of times, JUST when I realized how awful I was being and how much I still loved him)

 

I have successfully gotten back together with my boyfriend. Today its officially been 4 months after an 8 month gut wrenching break up.

 

I don't know what I have for advice. Listen to the people on this forum, a lot of their suggestions make sense. I would read " do not contact" and yet i would contact anyway only to get my heart broken again. Here's the thing: Now that my boyfriend and I are back together I've had the opportunity to actually ask him " why, what were you feeling? How could you be so cold?" And he tells me, that even though he knew he loved me the whole time, he didn't want to go back to being mistreated, he wanted to be cold so he wouldn't have to feel weak.

 

Guys you once loved can be real s during a break up. My boyfriend would tell me he didn't love me anymore. He told me he didn't miss me. He even came over after 2 months of us being broken up, had sex with me TWICE, and had me go to a * * * * ty action movie with him to only AT THE END OF THE NIGHT say " I still don't want to get back together".

 

If you contact your ex during the first few months, you will be hurt. No matter what they feel about you, they won't show you any love, they will hurt you, even if they don't mean to. If I could do the break up all over again I wouldn't have called begging, and crying. I wouldn't have contacted him on Christmas Eve only to be told " i don't love you anymore, please stop calling me, etc, etc" It doesn't do anyone any good. Give your ex time, give them at least 4 months of NCI.

 

I read somewhere on here that it takes 2-4 months for an ex to stop being angry and blaming you, and another 2-4 months of them missing you to want to get back together, so just give them time.

 

Eventually, after a failed reconciliation after only 8 weeks ( which lasted all of 2 weeks and probably delayed us actually getting back together by months) I started to feel better, I think around 6 months after the initial break up. ( getting back together for a week or two was like having to break up ALL OVER AGAIN, I think it was even worse because it was right before thanksgiving, so I had the entire holiday season to look forward to being miserable and alone) I think the reason I was finally able to feel better is because I finally allowed myself to hold onto the hope of us getting back together without the desperate NEED to do something about it.

 

He wound up calling on my birthday in January. And I finally got the time to talk to him. I let him know I was sorry for everything. Explained why I felt like we didn't work out ( not because of lack of love or compatibility but because some basic relationship mistakes like jealousy, lack of trust, being inexperienced at relationships in general). I told him to just give it some time. To go on dates, enjoy being single and meeting new friends ( his social life was sad when we were together) and that maybe in a few months ( i mentioned maybe in May) We could get together and he could come see our pets. He told me maybe, but that he didn't have the same feelings as I did. But it was different than before. He was no longer ANGRY. He still tried to hurt my feelings a bit with stupid stuff, like mentioning sleeping on chick's couches or whatever. But I didn't let it get me upset and I think that showed him how at ease I was. Also I FORGAVE him. I recognized my own part in the break up and totally, absolutely forgave him for breaking my heart. I didn't actually say " i forgive you" that would sound nuts. I just forgave him in my own heart.

 

Then I used the next few months to actually ENJOY being single. I still thought about him every day and would randomly get sad and start crying and feel hopeless. But I was actively trying to make myself a better person so that when we did get back together I'd be better, our relationship would be healthier. I quit smoking, started running, seeing friends. Learned to cook. Got a new job, new car, etc. I just realized we WOULD be together again because we did love each other that much, and then i was able to just enjoy the time i had to be alone and develop myself as my own person ( something you don't really have time to do in a relationship)

 

Then around the end of April I just felt like I could feel he missed me. Could feel like he was going to call me and ask for me back. I didn't wait, I called him up. He was astonished that I called when I did, said he was JUST about to call me.

 

We met up casually, as friends exactly 6 months to the day since we had last seen each other. We never mentioned getting back together that first day. Just enjoyed each other's company. We didn't take it slow though. We wound up saying we loved each other still THAT night, even slept together ( I know, we went waaay too fast in that department : D) he told me that he had been keeping himself up at night worried that he broke something between us and was so afraid I wouldn't take him back.

 

It's been 4 months now like I said, and we are both totally back in love with each other. He admits that he made a mistake to leave me. We've both apologized and are trying to put it behind us. We both learned a lot during the break up but you need to be prepared for the fact that people don't really change. We still fall into our old fight patterns sometimes. But this time we try to talk to each other. And now we both realize we're in it for the long haul, that stupid stuff isn't going to get in the way of us being together again.

 

My point is that i still have moments of sublime happiness, moments where he's telling me how much he loves me, and I can still feel how unbelievable it would have been for me to even imagine these things happening just 5 months ago.

 

so not to advocate false hope, but please if you feel like you and your ex shared a lot of love, don't feel like it's never going to happen. don't hate them for acting cold. And don't always listen to the people on here who tell you it's never going to happen. There's a lot of angry, rejected people on here.

 

And it was hard to post a success story now that I'm happy and back together with my boyfriend. Because honestly: Who cares? I'm happy, it's hard to summarize all of this, it takes time. I think a lot of people who do get back together DON'T bother posted a follow up.

 

So end of story ( sorry it was a novel). Keep hope. Forgive your ex, don't contact them for a while, and enjoy being single. Once you're back together you WILL miss a lot of aspects of your single life you could have been enjoying during your break up instead of being miserable and obsessing about your ex.

 

Lots of luck to everyone out there reading this. : )

[Geekinthepinkx]

My oldest sister dated her bf for roughly 2 years in college, broke up for 6 months with almost no contact. They started up talks again, were friends a month or two and then decided to get back together. They have been married for 5 years and expecting their second kid in May.

 

My middle sis date her bf for 1.5 years (met at end of college), they broke up for 2 months, then got back together and have been married 3 years. They are expecting their first kid in May also!

 

My best friend dating his ex in high school for roughly 8 months and they decided they were too young and wanted to split for college. He met up with her towards the end of college and they hit it off again. They have now been dating for 2 years and are getting married in Sept.

 

All these relationships were ended on good terms, no cheating involved, or real hatred towards the other. I think that is one of the reasons for the second chances after everyone has settled into their own and had time to mature.

[danman794]

Hi, Everyone. This is my first post and I was hoping for some advice/ positive feedback. So my and my Ex broke up 5 days ago. As you might expect, from it being both our first mature relationship (both 19 and in college and it lasted 13 months) we were both very emotional. As you might expect I begged her to change her mind that day and the next.

 

Before our spring break she came and sat next to me in class and after class I told her that I wanted her to think hard about her decision and about the possibility of losing me in her life and whether she would truly be happy if I was with someone else. Her exact wording for the break up was she "needed a break and wanted to like/ be with other people." She said she didn't love me anymore and thought of me as a friend and needed time to think about her emotions. I agreed to being friends (although I am initiating no contact). We were each others first and I she says she still cares for me and I obviously care for her.

 

So I was planning on doing no contact for 3-4 weeks and then sending her a letter saying i'm sorry (I didn't take care of myself and I feel like she lost attraction for me along with me not prioritizing her enough and spending quality time together (we spent most of our time together sleeping or studying)) and our relationship was flawed and I was working on self improvement. I was wondering whether to send it with flowers (she loves flowers). I am actually working on myself by changing the way I dress to be much better (I got to the point of sweat pants and a T-shirt everyday) and I have begun working out again (I was a very fit athlete when we met).

 

I was wondering when you thought I should try and talk to her about our former relationship and how to go about telling her about no contact and what the best way to re-establish contact with her. Please keep in mind that we only have 8 weeks of school left and she lives 6 hours away from me. I was also hoping someone could tell me how to get over her as she is the first person I have ever loved this way. If I got over her and wanted to get back together I was thinking I'd either meet her over summer at my cabin (lots of good memories) or wait til school started again to try and re-kindle the flame (if I felt that was still obviously). I think she isnt sure of whats out there and wants to try it or she has met someone she kinda likes and want to try it out (our last month was very ty and I wasnt happy either so I kinda understand although I wish we had talked about it).

 

Any advice would be appreciated, and I know there is a chance that she will never want me back, but I know we have had momentous impacts on each others lives and she cares deeply for me. Please note that we spent every day together and she probably got bored near the end (as did I, because of school stress) so we have a very close bond. And one last question: what does it mean that even a week before she broke up with me, she was saying she loved me (faking maybe) but we weren't very intimate. Sorry this is so long but I really care for her and am in post break-up panic mode. Highlighting questions.

[Lexy83]

Danman, you should post a separate thread if you are looking for advice. This thread is about successful reconciliations...

[mona123456]

I was wondering, I was very depressed over a break up... well it was more about how the break up happened. My boyfriend and I had gotten into an argument and then he said Ill call you later. That was the end.

I have tried to reach him relentlessly just to talk and have him see/hear my viewpoint. But I'm so hurt that we broke up based on him just ignoring me and going MIA on me. HIs last words were ill call you back.

Im still hurt but I want to hope that one day we will have another chance.

BUt i've doen everything wrong, as in calling and texting but lastly i just explained that i wanted to make this relationship better and that i care for him.

I sincerely hope things work out like all you lucky people out there.

[mona123456]

im curious... what do people think gives a higher chance of reconciltion. if the guy breaks up with the girl, will the guy come back or if the girl breaks up with the guy, will the guy realize and come back? and vice versa.

[Kromon]

In my personal experience and from friends that I know women seem to come back more in some way. I don't think you can generalise like that though. It's entirely down to each individual situation and not on sex. (But this is slightly off topic.)

[doicare]

I was at a wedding over the weekend and saw an aquaintance (we share common friends). In any case this girl came up to me and asked how I was doing. I told her things were going well, that I was single again and dating lots of girls, and of course was a few months out from my break up. Anyways, she's an attractive girl and her husband is a great guy. She told me about hera and her sisters story:

 

1) She had dated her Husback back in high school, I think they were together for 7 years. She broke up with him to see what was out there. I think it was either 3 or 4 years later, they hadnt spoken, and had dated others. She realized that no one measured up to her ex, but she thought that ship had sailed and she no longer had a chance. Coincidentally they ran into each other, and they were both single at the time. Well the rest is history, they've been married probably for at least 5-7 years. They seem very happy!

 

2) She told me the same thing happened to her sister. They had broken up, years apart, then got back together and are now married.

 

These are stories that obviously took place over time. when they happen great, but i think it just serves as a reminder that you have to keep living your life.

[littlebird]

I know of this couple who have been together for about 5 years (both were in their twenties) and then broke up as the girl wanted to focus on studying and went to do a masters program abroad. The guy was telling her before that she should stay, and wanted to move in together etc. but she made her decision and left. It was not an LDR, they broke up. He started seeing someone else after a while for about 6 months, even introduced the new girl to his parents, but couldn't really forget his ex-girlfriend. So about a year after the break up the girl finished her course and returned to their home country. They got back together (I don't know the details of the process unfortunately, but the guy's Mum said both of them have changed and matured during the breakup). Within a year of reconciliation they got married and now also had a baby.

[littlebird]

I have a few stories of my own too. This will be long

 

When I was 16 I started dating this guy from school. In the beginning he was chasing me like crazy and we were together for about 1.5 years. I broke up with him as I felt he didn't appreciate me enough and didn't make enough effort. In fact, it's been going on for some time and after a particularly crappy Valentine's Day date I broke up with him the next day. He pretty much went NC for a couple of months. At first I was very happy to be single again and was sure I made the right decision. After a couple of months I started wondering what he was up to and missing him a little bit. So I messaged him on MSN (popular back then) and we agreed to meet up. When we met, we had a good time, he told me how much he missed me and we got back together. Then after a couple of months I got accepted to go to university abroad and I knew I'd be leaving in a few months for good so broke it off again. He was devastated. He then went abroad for a summer job, we started missing each other and calling each other again. He stayed on in that country which was neighbouring country to where I moved to for uni. We kept in touch and I kept asking him to come and visit but he kept postponing it. I thought he was not making enough effort and then I met someone else and ended things with that ex for good.

 

So here comes the next story. The guy I met at uni - we dated for 8 months. We were joined at the hip and spent way too much time together. We both were quite jealous which caused a few fights, and he dumped me saying he did not feel the same way anymore. I was devastated: I cried and begged, we ended up sleeping together but then I found out he was messaging other girls at the same time. I went to my home country for summer vacation. I spent all summer crying over him but at the same time worked on myself: lost loads of weight through going to the gym, died my hair completely different colour, got new clothes and make up etc. Came back to uni and made loads of new friends, was going out and posting stuff on facebook. Found out ex started dating our mutual friend during the summer and was still with her. By now I was feeling happy without him, and started seeing another guy but nothing serious. So fast-forward a couple of months (about 5 months since the break up), and ex finds an excuse to text me about something and then asks if I want to go for a drink. I say sure, went to meet him with no expectations to get back together. We have a great time, he sees how great my life is and ends up telling me that I am so awesome and he never stopped loving me etc. We slept together the same night, then started seeing each other a bit. Being young, I jumped into it full on and started demanding more commitment. He broke things off with the other girl but was not ready to be officially in a relationship with me. I pushed, and he said no, and left me heartbroken again.

 

I went into depression, and during that time one guy-friend of mine has been very supportive and then confessed he really liked me. I said I can't be with you coz I'm still not over my ex. The guy was very upset but accepted my response. We stayed friends but then hooked up a few of times over a few months, and he was always there for me, we spent loads of time together etc. 7 months after he first confessed his feelings for me I realised how great he's been to me and started developing feelings for him. We got together and our relationship lasted over 4 years. We had our ups and downs of course. In the end I felt there was not enough commitment from him (after 4 years I wanted to live together and he said he wasn't ready) and he started behaving selfishly, not taking my opinion or wishes into account. We had a fight and didn't talk for 5-6 weeks, after which time he texted me and we agreed to meet up. I met with him and he wanted to get back together. I said I don't see the future for us, so perhaps we should stay apart. He was extremely upset, and so was I. After speaking to my family, I called him the same day and said let's give it another shot. We then stayed together for about 6 months but things didn't really change and I now was sure that he was not the guy I want to be with for the rest of my life. I broke up with him, he thought we should stay together but accepted my decision. We went NC for a month or so and then texted and went to an event we bought tickets for before we broke up. I could tell he still had feelings for me but I was over him. After that more NC, and then we both started new relationships around the same time. He is still with his new girlfriend. My most recent boyfriend and I broke up almost 3 months ago after 14 month relationship which brought me to this forum.

 

So in every long-term relationship I had (apart from the most recent one) the dumper came back (twice I myself was the dumper, once I was the dumpee so can see it from both perspectives). In the first two situations I was probably too young to really analyse the break up and compatibility with those guys. With the 4 year relationship we tried to discuss our issues and work on them, but in the end we were not meant for each other. After the most recent break up, I went through a much more thorough thought process and can see a possible reconciliation with my ex, but it depends on whether he'd also be interested to reconcile and willing to change some things. I am giving it a bit more time as I'm not ready to have that discussion yet, need more time to heal and move on so that if he's not interested I don't feel ruined again. We don't hate each other and talk sometimes, but nothing about the relationship. Need to become stronger for the next step.

[XandraRen]

I have numerous stories about couples resuming their relationship.

I also have many stories of couples who decide to part ways for good.

I agree with the majority of people on here, and I feel the general concensus is to be realistic. Some negative people forget that couples getting back together is also a realistic idea! The bottom line is that you need to love yourself and reach a neutral state of mind in order to make rational decisions and really ask yourself what you want.

At the end of the day, nobody wants regrets and ultimately everyone wants happiness. I wish all of you find happiness with whoever you choose; either a past, present or future relationship!

 

Number One

 

A girl I used to go to college and work with started her relationship when she was 13 years old. They remained together for over four years. During this time, Ryan moved to Spain for a year with his family as they had set up a family business there. Despite the distance Ryan and Holly maintained their relationship via Skype, phone calls and a few visits. Ryan eventually moved back to England to attend university. However, it was obvious that Holly was becoming frustrated with Ryan and didn't seem completely happy. A few months after his return to England, the pair split up with each other. Holly started to date somebody else and Ryan was enjoying the single life. Holly appeared happy to me. Although after around 5 months, the pair regained contact and decided that all they really wanted was each other. Holly broke it off with the boy she had been seeing and Ryan dedicated himself fully to Holly.

To this day the couple are still together. After they reunited, Holly worked abroad for a year in St Lucia. Like when Ryan was living in Spain, they maintained contact and only saw each other once at Christmas. Holly is now 22 and Ryan is 23. From what I see, they are very much together and seem very happy!

 

2. My cousin met Nick when she was in her early twenties. This pair have endured an on-off relationship like no other. For the first 5-6 years they never made it official or introduced each other to friends or family. This was down to them both being career driven and having stressful jobs in London's financial world. However, when she was 30 the pair entered a relationship and 5 years after that, they got married! They are currently enjoying their marriage

 

3. A friend from university entered her first uni year with a boyfriend from home. However, she befriended Samuel who fell in love with her pretty quickly. After many attempts to try and tell Alice how he felt, Samuel decided to embark on a relationship with a different girl as he thought Alice would never reciprocate his feelings. After a few weeks, Alice found that she was no longer happy with her boyfriend from home and broke it off with him. The relationship had grown to one of comfort and both parties are still friends to this day. Anyway, Alice and Samuel had remained friends throughout all of this. As soon as Alice was single, Samuel realised that she was the one he wanted to be with and what he hadn't realised was that Alice had always liked him too. BOOM! They started their relationship.

However, two year and half years later, out of the blue Samuel broke up with Alice. During their relationship, the pair had been besotted with each other and it was clear that there was a lot of love there so it came as a shock to everyone. Both parties appeared to have moved on. They broke up in the November of 2013 and at the end of February 2014 they began contacting each other and are now back together. So you never can call it!

 

3. My best friend's parents met when they were 18 and endured a two year relationship. They broke up amicably as they both believed that they were incredibly young to settle down etc. Bill ventured off around the world and had a relationship with another girl Stephanie. Caz toured America and Canada with her friend and in her words "had her fun". Bill broke up with Stephanie before he returned to England as she had become some what of a "bunny boiler". After 3 years, Caz and Bill returned to their hometown and coincidentally bumped into each other and the rest is history. They got married and have two children! The touching part is that Bill said that Caz was always the one for him and he knew this all along.

 

I have plenty more! I've witnessed all of these relationships first hand and I firmly believe that the love is obvious between all of the couples mentioned. They handled the break maturely, didn't play any mind games, got on with their individual progression and realised what they wanted!

[Geekinthepinkx]

Johngalt story

 

In October 2012, my ex broke up with me because she lost attraction to me and that we weren't good together. I was devestated and came here with plans to get her back. Most here believed it to be hopeless because once a woman loses attraction for you, it is difficult to reattract them. For the first couple of months, I tried to get her back, but my ex would not talk to me or if she would respond, it would be minimal. One time she told me that we might have a chance in the future, but she also told me that she wanted me to move on. I decided to do no contact and work on myself. I then reached out to her, but she told me she was in a relationship. So from then on I never contacted her. . . until one day I found out she was single. I then sent a message asking her to dinner. She took days and days to get back to me, but then eventually she did saying she wanted to catch up.

 

I had not seen her AT ALL in eight months, so the first date was surreal. I could have taken the approach of make the meeting 30 minutes and then leave making her want to come back for more, but that was not nearly enough time to establish a connection. I decided to let stuff flow naturally and let her take the lead. We hung out from 6pm - 1 am. We had another date two days later. Then we started hanging out every day. Then we took a vacation together (where we were intimate for the first time). Then when we got back, we started staying at each other's places at night. Now we are back together officially.

 

In those eight months, I thought about my ex every single day. After the first two months of pining over her, I began to move on with dating and getting on with my life and being happy, but i still missed her. My advice to you is that if you haven't gotten back together within the first week - 2 weeks, then be prepared for a long break up.

 

Often times, people break up initially and come to this forum, the getting back together forum, to determine how to get their ex back immediately. Instead, you should go to the healing from break up or divorce forum first. Get yourself back. Do the no contact. Get over the breakup. Then if you still want to get back together, come to the getting back together forum 6 months to a year after the breakup and discuss the possibility.

 

I made so many mistakes trying to get my ex back initially. Trust me, I made all the fatal ones that were supposed to doom me forever.

 

Instead, we made the choice together to get back. Even thoguh she had every right to breakup with me, she apologized for doing so. She said she could not find the things she wanted in other men. Why should she continue to try to find someone else when i have everything she's looking for. She said she now understands that you can't just give up when there's problems and the importance of working things out. We have long conversations and we connect with one another. I am happy; she seems happy.

 

Words of advice, if you've been broken up - be prepared to hear stuff u don't want to hear. Like my ex has dated and done stuff with other people while we were broken up. That's just reality. Also, you have to be prepared to not resent your ex for the breakup. You have to put your pride aside and move forward together for the future.

 

Getting back together was remarkably easy. Enough time had passed, I asked her out, she was available and she accepted. After that, it was just a matter of being ourselves and our natural chemistry just drew us to each other. I didn't put pressure on her to get back together, but we would talk about our problems, what could be different now, how our relationship would work, how we would fit in each other's lives...we discussed all of this way before getting back together. 2 days ago, she told me that getting back together was inevitable and last night she said she wanted to make it official.

 

Staying together I think will be easy as well. Neither of us want to lose the other and we seem to have grown. I know we'll have our ups and downs, but hopefully this one will be my wife.

[AdamD]

This thread is great. Could anyone look into my thread and give advice?

Has anyone had a similar experience with what I'm going through and it all working out in the end?

[AdamD]

I have a story involving two of my moms friends!

 

They both liked each other in high school and hung out a couple times. Then ended up dating for about a year or so. They separated because they had different goals in life and their personalities clashed. They both dated other people and the guy was actually about to marry another girl. Well the two bumped into each other and the guy called off the wedding and rekindled with his ex. They've been married for about 20 years!

 

I really hope my story ends like this. Does anyone else have any stories of "high school sweethearts" or "first loves" reuniting?

[Mangiafuoco]

I found this: Baudilaire story ( )

 

 

Here's my success

I wanted to come forward with this story because I feel that it might be beneficial to someone else's journey. Also it links in with some of my previous posts in regard to this individual.

 

So basically we dated for a few weeks. 6 of them, if my memory serves me well. I was devastated, I cried, I cried and I cried some more. He wasn't interested, there was no room for a second chance. You can look back on the story, I'll see if I can post the link to it. I came onto forums, there was a general consensus that I should move on, he's not serious etc etc. Of course I didn't want to hear this, so I continued to be sad. I did try and see if there was room for a reconciliation but I had no success. I did NC...I also became interested in the Law of Attraction, magic, praying,the works. It was desperate times...I had a vision board, made affirmations on my phone, cried some more, blamed God, got angry at the law of attraction. Nothing worked. So eventually, as will happen to all of us, I became less attached. I thought about him but not as much. I found peace, what happened next is literally a whole other story but in terms of him I was 'ok' with our situation. Let's say, we broke up in May of 2012...

I don't remember how long I was sad for but it was a while.

I don't recall who got in contact with who, more than likely it was me but it was around Christmas. I remember we had a little falling out over something but like I said, at this point my attachment to him wasn't the same as it used to be so I didn't care, I was just more annoyed. So on his birthday which is in Feb, I wrote on his wall to say Happy Birthday. We hadn't spoken since Christmas which was only a couple of texts at that.

 

I'm going to skip a bit of the story and fast forward to this year. I was going through a break up with a different guy and so I decided to message my ex, I know it doesn't sound nice but I needed a distraction. Now he was being that guy I wanted him to be after the break up, he was opening up to me about everything. I never expected it from him but I guess when you know you've messed up you have to drop your guard and fight for that person.

 

I spent valentines day with him, he took me out, sent flowers to my house and we went to the cinema. It was literally perfect. He wrote me a letter, just opened up 100%. It was nice but sad at the same time because it had taken him all that time to realise what he wanted. It took all that sadness and tears for him to do something he could have done back then.

Now I don't know the answers as to how I got him back. I don't know if it was magic, the Law of Attraction, my vision boards (which I threw away before he came back out of frustration), the affirmations (which I also deleted from my phone before he came back). I literally have no idea. All I know is that a seemingly impossible situation became possible. Although my heart is not in the same place it used to be, I can be with him now if I choose to be. He's not a horrible guy, he's actually very nice, he just made a decision that hurt someone else. Despite the people who said it wasn't possible, it was and although I'm not an advocate for false hope, I really wanted to write this to let you know that it is actually possible even when it looks like it has no hope.

 

 

 

 

And as promised, here are the links to the posts about him. Maybe reading through it there may be an answer in there somewhere. Although some of them may have none or one response, I just want whoever reads this to get a feel of what the relationship was like.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

P.S I apologise for my style of writing, it can be all over the place as you can see in the other posts, I just hope you can get something out of it

 

'For with God, nothing shall be impossible' Luke 1:37

[windingwings]

Reading these posts make me happy for all of you, break up and realization for me is still fresh, on my third day of NC. I feel like it will last a long time but I do have a trip to Hawaii by myself to look forward to, troubling thought is I used our wedding money.

It would be nice to get back together with him one day, start off as friends and fall in love again. The guy he is seeing seems a little wild, not only that but very young. Young guys don't want to be tied down once they're out of high school. I just hope he doesn't get hurt because it seems like he's all about this guy right now. I'll continue reading these posts, they put me in a good mood.

[Mangiafuoco]

Another success story, by beingawesome

( )

 

Back Together

Hey guys! I was on this site a few months ago trying to deal with my breakup, and I've returned with some good news! I hope this isn't premature, but I'm an only child and Thanksgiving is really boring for me, so I thought I might as well write up my reconciliation story. We broke up about 5 months ago for a multitude of reasons I won't really go into - he was the one who decided he wanted out and I tried my best to accept it gracefully. I went NC immediately, and we didn't have any contact for 4 months. I blocked him from gchat, facebook, instagram, basically anything and everything so I wouldn't be able to see what he was up to and so he couldn't see what I was doing. This was one of the best decisions I made, in my opinion, because I didn't hurt myself needlessly, and it gave me the freedom to do whatever I wanted. Those bad days where I just stayed home and watched TV and drank? He would never know about those, for all he knew I was having a fabulous time!

 

In those 4 months we were NC, I started "getting me back", as they say. I started doing yoga, meditating, and taking care of my body better. I accepted invitations to events and parties that I would have avoided prior and hung out with my friends more often. I eventually stopped coming to this site, because it felt like it was only helping me dwell on what I had lost. I got more spiritual, I tried my best to confront my fears and explore my negative patterns, and when I finally felt like I was strong enough I started dating again. Through all of this, I think I was able to get over my breakup, but I was never really able to get over my ex. I still always held a tiny hope that we could get back together, but I was also too afraid.

 

So after 4 months I received some stuff in the mail for my ex. And since I was starting to date again and felt stronger, I decided to email him. It was very brief, and it was only about the mail. He responded a few days later, on what would have been our anniversary, with a very strange email that talked about that date, fate, and included an invitation to keep talking. I was actually very confused by it all but also a little hopeful. We exchanged a few emails, all friendly but kind of awkward, until I asked him straight up what his intention and motivation was for emailing me. His reply was that he just wanted to talk and keep the line open for conversation, which was nothing close to "I want to get back together". So I cut off communication again, because I didn't want to get my hopes up through fruitless chitchat.

 

A week passed, and I tried my best to get over what I felt like was another rejection, when I was hit with another staggering blow. I had forgotten to delete his old messages in my facebook inbox and didn't realize that you could see profile pictures on them. So I was able to see that he had changed his to him with another girl. It hit me like a ton of bricks, I was beside myself with grief. And in my grief, I decided I just had to talk to him, if only so he could tell me the truth and hurt me so bad that I would never want to be with him again and that little hope in me would die. (This was actually a REALLY BAD IDEA, and clearly something born out of me not thinking clearly at all.) I called, no answer. My friends told me I should accept that as an answer and that there was nothing positive in those emails we had exchanged. I ignored them and called the next day and left a message. He called back, I didn't answer out of fear. And after a few more rounds of phone tag I finally got him on the phone.

 

I was really nervous, didn't know what to say, and during that conversation he managed to both break my heart and give me hope at the same time. He confirmed that he was seeing someone new, but it didn't feel 100% right. And I could have left it at that, but I felt compelled to find out, maybe for the last time, if he felt like there was something still between us. He said yes. And from there it was a whirlwind of us talking about how we felt, the conclusions we had come to after we had been apart, and where we were going to go from here. I met him that night, but it was pretty much already decided from the moment we started talking on the phone. He broke it off with her the next day.

 

This all happened about 5 days ago, so it's still very fresh, but it also feels very right. We never stopped loving each other, and after learning about his experiences, I would say that I actually handled my emotions after the breakup much better despite being the dumpee. He struggled a lot after the initial first month of happiness and freedom and began doubting his decision and missing me terribly. He wanted to talk to me but didn't reach out to me because he was afraid I hated him or had moved on, so he didn't want to come back into my life just to hurt me again. He searched all over the internet for me (so yay for all that blocking and hiding I did), and even went to places near my apartment hoping to see me. But most importantly, in the time we were apart, he really thought about how we had handled the relationship and how he was handling himself. And now that we've decided to try again, we've discussed our issues in the past openly and honestly but have agreed not to let them start as the foundation for our new relationship. I am ridiculously happy that we're back together, but I also feel the same as I did a week ago. I still feel like a whole, grounded person with my own interests and my own life, instead of one half of a relationship. And to me, that seems like a really good place to start!

 

So, I'm sorry if this became really long and rambling....I haven't told my friends about it yet because we are just trying to figure things out just between us first, so I guess I just wanted to tell someone, anyone! The short version of all of this is: we both needed this time apart and even a breakup wasn't able to change how we felt about each other.