lavitabella

I have a few stories. Both good and bad. My own personal and people I know. I messaged a friend that I made through my ex. She is my ex's friends girlfriend. I have developed a good relationship with a lot of his friends during our relationship. I miss them dearly and wish nothing but the best for them. We all went to highschool together, but they are 2-4 years older than me. They are all genuinely good people and was family to me at one point of my life, so id like to maintain a good relationship with them regardless of the situation. She was the girl I felt closest to. I messaged her telling her that even tho me and my ex have broken up, I would still like to stay in-contact with her. She asked me what happened during the break up, I told her that he said he wanted to focus on himself, he wasn't ready to take it to the next level and basically said he wasn't ready. She said this was all too familiar of a story for her, and this is when she told me her story. Let's call her Jen and her boyfriend Tom, they are both 26 years old. 1.) Jen and Tom have been together for 5+ years. He broke up with her, telling her that he wasn't ready and wanted to focus on himself. They did not speak at all for 6 months straight. She said they ran into each other one night, and she had too many things pent up inside. She wanted to tell him how she felt, and that is exactly what she did. She didn't get too into details with their breakup. They stayed broken up for another 1.5 years after that, so 2 years in total. She told me that at one point she tried very hard to let go, but she couldn't. They got back together. I've been around their group of friends. I've gotten to know them. Tom still has some traits that I don't condone for a guy that is in a relationship. But he has been trying to change. I remember in the beginning Tom told me that he doesn't believe in the idea of marriage. He said that you are together you are together, no need to get married. Closer to the end of last year, he told me he has changed his views on marriage, she has stuck with him through all these years and plans marry her. 2.) My own story. I was with my first love for 7 years. We were both 14 years old. As you all know the first year of a relationship is blissful and full of enjoyment. Then it starts to go through its rough patches. He kissed another girl. I was heart broken. He loved me though, I knew that. But I couldn't trust him anymore, but I felt as if I couldn't live without him. Slowly I started to become posessive, I was not happy about him going out with his friends, I was easily jealous. This all stemed from what he did, I tried to forget about it... but I couldn't. Our relationship went down from there, but we loved each other. We stayed together for another 5 years. He continued to lie to me about where he was going, who he was with, what he was doing, but who could blame him? I would constantly call and check up. It was not a good relationship.. He started to make online dating profiles which I found bizarre. But hey, when you're inlove you're blind, right? So I somehow made up some excuse in my head about how what he was doing was ok. Subconsciously without knowing it, I started to detach myself from him, he was putting me through too much, but yet i stayed. I had been wanting to leave for a long time, but I didn't have the heart to. I ended up kissing another guy that I went to college with, not because i was attracted to the other guy, no.. it was because i wanted him to feel the pain I went through. That he did. I ended up breaking up with him, I didnt think it was fair for him. We broke up for 6 months after that, I continued to see the other guy I cheated on him with for company. My ex didn't give up though. He called/texted/showed up at my house/give me gifts/show up at my work you name it, he did it. I felt awful. I still loved him though, but I didn't love our relationship. Finally, I decided to leave the other guy and take my ex back. We were happy for the first month. We stayed together for another 2 years after that, but he was consumed with jealousy. He started to go through the exact same feelings I went through when I found out he cheated on him. He checked up on me constantly, accused me of everything bad. I came back actually wanting to work the relationship out, not because i felt bad because i loved him.. but it couldn't work out. None of the issues that resulted in the breakup were fixed. 6 months later I dated 2 other guys. One for 2 months and my most recent ex for 1.2 years. My most recent ex he knows. He couldn't handle the idea. He ended up moving up north for work. To this day, he says he still cares and loves me. He said he wouldn't give up until the day that I marry. He is working very well and doing good for himself, and I am so proud of him. but I can't see us getting back together because I do not want to. There has been too much pain and distrust in our relationship, but he will always be a part of my life. I wish him well. I am here for him, and he is there for me. 3.) My grandma and my grandpa. I heard my grandpa thought my grandma was the most beautiful thing in the world. He loved her very much, but apparently he wasn't very faithful. He had a few affairs. My grandma couldn't take it anymore, and she left. She packed her stuff and left. My grandpa apparently searched for her, I dont know but apparently managed for find her. They got back together. They stayed married for 40+ years. I am currently going through a breakup and may post questions here seeking out answers, as I am heart-broken and lost myself but this is what I believe.. and my own personal opinion. To everyone that is wanting to get back with their ex's back. Don't lose hope, but also don't lose yourself. If it's meant to be it will be. Here are some scenarios you can pick from. *You mope, feel bad for your self, re-play all the memories of you and your ex in your head over and over again, until your brain hurts, do nothing to move forward and heal yourself.. repeat for however long until you realize you've done nothing good and wasted YOUR OWN time. Watch your ex move on with their life because there is ABSOLUTELY nothing you can do to change that. Oh maybe if you just give it ONE LAST PHONE CALL.. or ONE LAST TEXT they might change their mind. Take it from me, I was a dumper.. them calling/texting/showing up at your house/giving me gifts.. was absolutely unattractive and I felt like he had no respect for what decision I've made. *You pick yourself up, move on with your life, see your wrongs as an individual and as a partner and fix them. You're ex comes back (x) amount of time, and you are able to really work out the relationship. *You pick yourself up, move on with your life, see your wrongs as an individual and as a partner and fix them. You meet the next person that might be the one for you, and you are able to have the absolute best relationship with that person. If no one can take away your pain, don't let anyone take your happiness. XO.