Getting back together really does happen!

[Fraggle]

I believe so, all my exes over 6 months have reached out or tried to get back with me. I think time and letting go is important. thanks for your story

 

Daisy, all your exes after going NC for 6 months I presume?

 

Were some of them messy BUs too, just interested in hearing about them if u don't mind

[Daisycries]

Daisy, all your exes after going NC for 6 months I presume?

 

Were some of them messy BUs too, just interested in hearing about them if u don't mind

 

Hey Fraggle

 

Opps, i didn't word that very well. I meant all my ex that i have been with longer than 6 month have tried to come back. Although, a few short ones have too.

 

I'd say they have contacted me between 2 - 7 months.

 

And YES ..some of them was very messy, hurtful...horrible breakups. The ones that have dumped and bad words were said at the end have all eventually contacted me. One of them did it 2 am in the morning, said he was thinking about me. A complete shock. I remember how we ended aswell. I went around to see him one day and he said he was not bothered if i was there or not. He told me he couldn't be bothered to go anywhere but i could stay at his if i wanted but he wasn't really fussed. I walked out his house and said bye but i never contacted him again. Then 2months later he was blowing up my phone.

 

Another relationship ended with me writing the most horrible things to him via text, i played on his insecurities and told him i would never want to be like him. I'm not proud of the things i said. Around 7 months, he started texting me reminiscing about the good times we had together. Trying to get me back but i was in a new relationship by then.

 

It really seems to happen when i have already moved on.

[Fraggle]

Thanks DC, just interested how they went and under what circumstances as I'm 11 weeks in after BU with an amicable BU but with a property to sort which has caused some friction.

 

I'm not sitting here hoping for reconciliation, but wanted to understand how long it took before there was any response. We've not really been NC yet due to the property matters. I feel that I need to get to NC to try and get over things. We've been together 9 years and I think she may have made a bit of a rash decision? But I'm moving on!

[Daisycries]

Thanks DC, just interested how they went and under what circumstances as I'm 11 weeks in after BU with an amicable BU but with a property to sort which has caused some friction.

 

I'm not sitting here hoping for reconciliation, but wanted to understand how long it took before there was any response. We've not really been NC yet due to the property matters. I feel that I need to get to NC to try and get over things. We've been together 9 years and I think she may have made a bit of a rash decision? But I'm moving on!

 

I understand the place you are in because i think i have just entered that kind of head space. I don't feel like i'm going to die if we don't get back together. Also, if we do i want it to be after healing and space as we both really need it.

 

Me and my ex ended on brilliant term, it was a touching goodbye. Then i had to contact him over some bills and he got annoyed (i still have no clue what about) and he told me he would be happier to never see me again. We have been broken up 8 weeks now.

 

I actually like NC, its helped me loads. I'm not struggling with not contacting him.

 

I know couples that have broken up for long periods of time, dated other people and still got back together. When i sit and think i know loads of couples.

 

9 years is a long time. I have found that when the relationship is long, the dumpers continue to think long about their decision long after the "official breakup". When you go NC, then she will really have time to reflect on her decision, this is when the real breakup starts.

[pippy longstocking]

I can't give rep daisy , but I wanted to say that was a wonderful post ..

 

and hey fraggle

[Fraggle]

Thanks DC, real useful perspective and yes that was the kind of input I was looking for, really appreciate your insight. She had decided to break up some weeks before she ended it.

I had to see her last week re the property and she cried when I said it was possibly the last time I'd see her, so I know she's isn't finding it easy, but I guess it doesn't mean she still thinks she's made the right choice and maybe us breaking up is for the best long term?

 

I go days when i think its for the best too and others when it really hurts

 

Just interested to see how things might pan out and you've helped me get a semblance of an idea

 

Hey Sstar

[sonicfan287]

Does anyone happen to have a positive reunion story where the dumper found someone else a few days later, dated them, and then eventually got back together with the original dumpee?

[secondchance67]

Sure, Sonic, I have one for ya...its called "The Notebook" you can check out that reunion story on Netflix for 3 bucks...and just about every other Hollywood cheesy love story out there that makes us think love conquers all and that its meant to be......

 

In reality, the sad truth is it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY that a reconciliation will LAST...notice I didn't say it cant happen for two people....I think it happens a lot.

 

But the longevity of the reconciliation is based on so many factors that each one is different and unique, as unique as the two people trying to make a go of it again.

 

Mhowe is a good example...she did it right, he came back, and they are still together...she posts here and there on ENA, and the one point she drives home is that CHANGE AND TIME APART has to happen for it to work; and once the reconciliation takes place, there is ALOT OF WORK to be done to maintain it.

[triangles]

Thanks for sharing your story Armooo. A great one!

[Scotcha]

Does anyone happen to have a positive reunion story where the dumper found someone else a few days later, dated them, and then eventually got back together with the original dumpee?

 

My aunt now is married to her high school sweetheart. They were both married to other people for 10+ years. There was no affair or scandle or anything like that, it just took that long for things to fall into place.

 

But I wouldn't let stories like this be a reason to hold onto hope. They're cute but all too uncommon.

[elephants]

These aren't getting back together stories, but about exes coming back:

 

1. My guy in high school, wasn't really my boyfriend, but we dated and were kind of exclusive, but no labels. Anyway, when we graduated, he told me he wanted to be "just friends" because things weren't working out. I couldn't blame him because I realized that I was being selfish in the relationship, so I let him go. We were awkward after that. Last year, he and his girlfriend of 4 years broke up, and he chatted me up on Facebook out of nowhere. He was flirting, asking me out to "catch up", asking about my life, if I had a boyfriend... but yeah, I did have a boyfriend then and I wasn't interested anymore, so nothing came of it. Anyway, he and his girlfriend got back together after some time, so good for him.

 

2. I had a boyfriend in college. We were together for two years. But he treated me badly and was never willing to talk about our problems. We broke up twice. First, I broke up with him after a huge argument, but I went back to him after just a few weeks cos I realized I was sadder without him. But things weren't any different. He was still the same insensitive guy, and my feelings deteriorated to the point that I began liking someone else. I kept comparing them in my head. And then I got drunk and kissed the other guy. I told my boyfriend that I was sorry, cried, pleaded, told him I wouldn't do it again, but he still broke up with me. He told me to find someone else. I met another guy, and around three weeks later, my ex demanded that I choose between him and the new guy. I couldn't choose because I wasn't ready. My ex told me 'goodbye forever' and to tell him if I change my mind so he can 'break my heart' but two hours later he was on the phone begging me back. Things got pretty dramatic, for the next 3 to 5 months he chased and sent threatening messages to me and my new guy. Needless to say, that completely destroyed my respect for him. When I look back now, I only see him as this pathetic, violent idiot who hurt me so much.

 

I'm here on ENA because the 'new guy' in my previous story left me after a year and a half. It was very abrupt. He has issues to take care of. I'm hoping he comes back too.

[xstar]

And where exactly are you getting this information? From everything I've read and heard, personally, most reconciliations lead to better relationships (not taking into account the, he called me after 4 weeks NC and we decided to get back together.. I've been sitting at home and crying all of this time).

[xstar]

My friend was broken up with in college after 2 years of dating. The guy got GIGS. They got back together a few months later and stayed together for 8 years until they broke up again a few months ago.

 

Yes, you can say that reconciliations don't last, but I'd like to argue that the fact that they stayed together 8 years is a big deal, and the current break up is not related at all to the one that happened 8 years ago.

[sonicfan287]

Actually, I will admit, my relationships did improve each time with her, there was more communication, trust and information shared between us and generally more fun because we both understood each other very well and knew what we both liked and didn't liked. Unfortunately, Ill also admit that except for our first reconciliation where we spent 5 months apart, our 2nd one was a very rash decision made in 2 weeks, so neither of us really changed in that time...

 

I could gladly go another 6 months without her, if I thought it'd matter but Ive never seen her do this before, fall so madly for someone else. She dated a few guys before but they never lasted more than 2 weeks... this time, she's really in love with him, and Im devastated. Im going to keep changing though, just because its a good thing to do no matter what happens, but still... this really stings... at least for now. I know its a temporary situation

[xstar]

I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you feel better soon.

[xstar]

link removed

[Lightning87]

If you both love each other, it will happen. It's just when

[Mayforce]

Yes always dependent on both feeling the same way. But as always just because they loved us yesterday doesn't mean they will ever love us again. If the 2 people decide they want to be together then that is all that counts.

 

A lot of us suffer because we believe they loved us once they might do so again. Until the 2 people decide they both want the same thing , the party who is stranded in limbo hoping and waiting will waste their life.

 

Never say never on reconciliations but always be aware the clock is ticking and act accordingly.

 

 

I've kept reading this over and over. Wish to find something else against it but there is none because nothing fake in this quote. Do what we feel right and accept even it turns wrong after or at the end.

 

 

thanks for all the sharing here b(◕‿◕ d ( up)

[velociraptor]

i know this is a ridiculously long time after to post a question but im going through my own situation and have been spending hours on this site. Your situation sounds very similar to mine. 3 year relationship...going through problems (not major) near the end and then all of a sudden my ex-bf wants time and literally disappears. When you say you didnt hear from your ex in ages, how long a duration was that? also, are you still with this bf?

 

although it is hard...i am most definitely trying my best to move on and focus on myself. i just cant comprehend how someone like that could just up and leave without a word...

[velociraptor]

i know this is a ridiculously long time after to post a question but im going through my own situation and have been spending hours on this site. Your situation sounds very similar to mine. 3 year relationship...going through problems (not major) near the end and then all of a sudden my ex-bf wants time and literally disappears. When you say you didnt hear from your ex in ages, how long a duration was that? also, are you still with this bf?

 

although it is hard...i am most definitely trying my best to move on and focus on myself. i just cant comprehend how someone like that could just up and leave without a word...

[Dazla]

This thread has stopped me crying whilst I've been reading so it's definitely a good thing. As Im starting my life again single. I met p a year and a half ago and I knew she was something special, she felt the same and we got together, the relationship was great, to this day I don't think we ever seriously came to any blows or harse fallouts, we had our ups and downs but nothing major and loved each other dearly. I moved into her parents sharing a single bed...the worse scenario we could be in as I was suffocating her space and freedom, we managed 7 months and now she's said "she wants space, doesn't know what she wants" so now I've gone nc and frankly am a mess!

 

This thread has helped, but I also want to say that I know it works. I was with one of my ex's for 3 years, she used the exact same words with me some 5 years ago. I pleaded begged like a puppy for about 3 months after she split...I never gave her the space she needed. Anyway I went nc and two weeks later she text me, we tried again and dated for another 2 months on and off. After that she called it a day as she was actually seeing someone else too! So I went nc again...3 months later I bump into her on a night out and she calls me, saying she's been stupid making a silly mistake and she misses me and loves me and would like to try again........It was too late by then as I started a new relationship.

 

New relationship with k starts becoming crap...real crap so I break up wiv the k as I wanted space, she goes nc...and then after a week I realised I didn't want it so we reconcile. This happened 3 times before we broke up.

 

With p I know it's different there was nothing wrong with the relationship other then that I moved in with her and we were basically living off each other our problems were lack of intimacy, never went out and felt more like friends.....all because I'd moved in, she felt bad and I felt awkward being intimate knowing her parents were in the next room and I felt guilty spending any money as I moved in there to save, I just hope she realises what she's lost when it's gone, she's said herself I'm the best guy she's ever met and shell probably regret it, I know I just need to let her have her space...hopefully itll end up in a Kate n wills style ending

[teddy123]

Co-worker's story.

 

About 8 months ago my boyfriend dumped me saying he's had it and he doesn't want a relationship anymore. We were together for almost 5 years. I was so heartbroken, i was venting it to my co-worker. She told me she had similar experience also about her 5 year mark her boyfriend broke up with her. I told her all the things mine had said to me, all the nasty things you can think of. She told me hers said the exact same things like, "i dont want to be in a relationship anymore, i want to be single, i'm sick of dealing with you, you'll never change and i already gave you chances." Her breakup was because of some immature acts she did. She never liked her Bf's BFF's GF (now wife).... and she also busted out that he had cheated on her before... before you know it... the Bf got really tired of drama and just broke up with her, not sure if there were any other details as i didnt want to butt into her business, but that's what she told me. She did NC, and worked on herself and a year later she wrote a letter spilling her heart out with updates of her current life, and surprisingly, the Bff's GF helped her and convinced the BF that he should give my co-worker another chance, so they got back together. Now, it has almost been 1.5 years since they got back together, and she just got engaged recently with him.

 

This was a wonderful story, she was soooo happy and chippy to be engaged... i give all my wishes to them.

 

On the other hand, i have yet to hear anything from my ex, not a text, not a call, not an email... dont know if i should be happy or said about it, all i've heard was "he's been playing games all night, every night", i was kind of disappointed that he did not use this space/time to work on himself. As for me, i understood what went wrong, and what I think i needed to change, as well as trying to live on my own as much as i can. It's been difficult, but holding my head up high.

[Mizz]

My friend's mother dated a guy in high school, they were "high school sweethearts" and broke up when they went to college. She met another man and he moved to Australia and met another woman. But then she went through a divorce and so did he. They hadn't talked since they broke up in high school til one day about 40 years later they got back in touch, started dating again, and got married. They were very happy, and very much in love, but he sadly passed away about a year or so ago.

 

My cousin, broke up with her bf of two years. He loved her SO much, would do anything for her. He was completely heartbroken. She left him because she wanted to be single, party, meet other guys. He kept trying to contact her and she'd blow him off. She eventually blocked him from calling her/texting her, she deleted him and blocked him from facebook. Yet he still tried to contact her. A month or two later she realized she missed him. She had tried dating other guys like she had thought would be so fantastic but she found out that it wasn't as nice or as great as she had anticipated. She started comparing the guys to her ex. Then she genuinely missed him and really was sorry. They since have been talking again and plan to get back together but are taking it all slow.

 

A friend I knew from high school, broke up with her bf and they had gone out for a few years. A few months they hadn't talked and now they are back together and seem happier than ever.

 

I think it depends on the people and the circumstances of why the break up happened. Some things can be worked out while others can't. Everyone's different though and so is every relationship and what "works". People do in some cases get back together, so it is possible given the right approach, time, and warranted that both people genuinely want each other back too.

[pippy longstocking]

ok I have one

 

my friend who I havent seen since last november popped to me last week.

 

she split with her ex well over a year ago ...infact she was at the "he makes me sick" stage ..they had contact

because of kids ....she couldn't stand him .....

 

 

her news...they are back together , she was the dumper , she loves him , they got a new hosue together and

are blissfully happy planning the rest of their lives.

[Sukiyaki]

I only have one story, I think.

One of my friend's brother's have been in a relationship with his GF for a few years. Then when day he broke up with her, and told her the relationship was going nowhere, wanted to experience new things, etc. Then she started to move on, hang out with other guys, NC and then he realized he missed. Now they're back together and living together as well.