elephants

What the hell was that phone conversation we had today?

* * * * you, go die in a hole. Sorry, I'm angry right now because I'm so miserable.

These aren't getting back together stories, but about exes coming back: 1. My guy in high school, wasn't really my boyfriend, but we dated and were kind of exclusive, but no labels. Anyway, when we graduated, he told me he wanted to be "just friends" because things weren't working out. I couldn't blame him because I realized that I was being selfish in the relationship, so I let him go. We were awkward after that. Last year, he and his girlfriend of 4 years broke up, and he chatted me up on Facebook out of nowhere. He was flirting, asking me out to "catch up", asking about my life, if I had a boyfriend... but yeah, I did have a boyfriend then and I wasn't interested anymore, so nothing came of it. Anyway, he and his girlfriend got back together after some time, so good for him. 2. I had a boyfriend in college. We were together for two years. But he treated me badly and was never willing to talk about our problems. We broke up twice. First, I broke up with him after a huge argument, but I went back to him after just a few weeks cos I realized I was sadder without him. But things weren't any different. He was still the same insensitive guy, and my feelings deteriorated to the point that I began liking someone else. I kept comparing them in my head. And then I got drunk and kissed the other guy. I told my boyfriend that I was sorry, cried, pleaded, told him I wouldn't do it again, but he still broke up with me. He told me to find someone else. I met another guy, and around three weeks later, my ex demanded that I choose between him and the new guy. I couldn't choose because I wasn't ready. My ex told me 'goodbye forever' and to tell him if I change my mind so he can 'break my heart' but two hours later he was on the phone begging me back. Things got pretty dramatic, for the next 3 to 5 months he chased and sent threatening messages to me and my new guy. Needless to say, that completely destroyed my respect for him. When I look back now, I only see him as this pathetic, violent idiot who hurt me so much. I'm here on ENA because the 'new guy' in my previous story left me after a year and a half. It was very abrupt. He has issues to take care of. I'm hoping he comes back too.

Scary thing is, everything in my past that has made me happy before my ex came along is now gone. Seriously. I'm like a robot now- get up in the morning, go to work, do work I don't like, go home, sleep. Add a little eating in between. I have no friends. Well, I do, but I find little joy in going out with friends. I am by nature a homebody and not very sociable. I have no hobbies that do not remind me of my ex. This is the life I dreaded. I loved life with my ex. He did, too. Now I'm miserable. He is, too. I don't know why this is happening. Oh, and I don't like my family situation either.

Day 10 of NC You blocked me on Facebook. I know I never should have tried to look for your profile. I unfriended you the other day, you probably decided to take the next step and block me. I knew it was a probability. But suddenly I felt scared that you might be getting attracted to another girl, so I searched both your profiles. You blocked me. I feel like all the logic I've built in my system for the past 10 days has flown out the window. I want to see you so badly. But what will that accomplish? I'll just break NC and show you how crappy my life is without you. I must not show you I care. But what if you also deleted my cell number? God, I'm scared. What if you never come back? Right now, I'd really rather just die already than face the thought of forever without you.

Day 9 of NC Hi Ex, When we broke up, you assured me that there was no other girl involved. I used to believe you with my whole heart, but lately I've been paranoid. Were you telling the truth? Or was that just one of the lies you were guarding yourself with? I miss you, and I want to believe that one day soon you will realize that you miss me, too. I want to start a new relationship with you, a healthier one. But I fear that it may be easier for you to find and fall for someone else. I fear that while I'm here distancing myself from you, someone else is inching ever closer to you and your heart. Will it be possible for you to give out your heart to someone so soon after our break up? For my selfish reasons, I hope you're not. I love you and want you back. Please don't give yourself to someone else. Give us another chance. Miss me. Love me. Want me again.

Hi marty, I think most dumpees do NC for both reasons at first. It's not humanly possible to just let go of hope. I'm keeping my fingers crossed though that, over time, I will be able to shed hope little by little.

Day 8 of NC Hi Ex, I finally deleted you from Facebook last night. I had cold feet and almost not did it. I had to look at your pictures for the last time. Oh my god, I do miss you so much. Please wake up soon, come to your senses and realize that you still want to try and work things out with me. No matter what you say, your decision was rash! It was 2 days after you told me about the problem, just 2 weeks after you admitted to yourself that you were having a problem, and barely a month since you started feeling the problem. And then what happened after that? You asked for NC for 19 days, and then instead of trying to actively fix it, you drowned yourself in alcohol and depression! Remember that time when we were going to Zambales, and I told you I wouldn't be able to make it to the morning meeting time because of work? You still wanted to go ahead and ride with your friends and let me take a 4-hour commute to an alien place on my own at night, and I got hurt that you would choose your comfort over me. We argued a lot that night. But then when I got up from bed the next morning, you grabbed my hand and told me you changed your mind. I asked why, and you just murmured, "Priorities." And then remember how that same 4-hour commute together turned out to be the highlight of our vacation? It's like our relationship. It must seem pointless and so difficult to fix it now, but if you try to take the ride with me, it might turn out to be the best experience of our lives. Mull it over while I try to fix myself, too. One day, I hope you'll go back to me, hold my hand again, and tell me you've reconsidered your priorities. I love you, Ex.

Day 7 of NC Hey, Ex. I hate you because you're a wimp. How dare you break up with me with so little warning! If you really loved me, and you had some backbone, you would have tried to keep it together longer! You would have fought for us, because you should have realized that we are worth it! Well apparently, you're too immature and self-centered to take responsibility. You keep saying it's you and not me, well then grow a pair and try to fix yourself! What, so are you satisfied with the kind of person you are? You say you're sorry that you hurt me? Well, if you really were, then you shouldn't have dumped me so unceremoniously. You should have tried harder. You should have been more willing to work things out with me! And now you act all depressed and guilty. Well F YOU! You will never find anyone like me again. You will never find someone who will love you as much as I do, who will be willing to stand by you in spite of everything that you are. Good luck trying to replace me. May all your future relationships, if any, be as hollow and empty as you. No, in fact, I don't want you to have another relationship because you don't deserve to have someone care about you! I hate you, and why don't you go die? But if you call me now, and tell me you're sorry, and that we will fix this... I'll welcome you back. Because I love you. I'm an idiot, but I love you. We were wonderful together, weren't we? You know that. Why did you have to ruin things? Well, maybe you have to learn your lesson! Fine, go live life without me and see how you like it. Keep believing that you don't love me anymore. Don't listen to me. Don't listen when I make so much sense when I tell you that you only think you don't love me, but it's impossible because you yourself said the change was sudden. Keep believing that love is a switch, and you managed to flick it off. Fine, believe that, and be merry. Then one day, when the truth catches up to you.... we'll see who regrets this. By then, I will be a happy individual, and our roles will be reversed. I will not contact you, because I don't deserve to chase after a heartless * * * * * * * . You take your sweet time realizing the truth, and then YOU chase ME. Best of luck.

Well, what if it was the dumper who asked for NC?