I understand the place you are in because i think i have just entered that kind of head space. I don't feel like i'm going to die if we don't get back together. Also, if we do i want it to be after healing and space as we both really need it.
Me and my ex ended on brilliant term, it was a touching goodbye. Then i had to contact him over some bills and he got annoyed (i still have no clue what about) and he told me he would be happier to never see me again. We have been broken up 8 weeks now.
I actually like NC, its helped me loads. I'm not struggling with not contacting him.
I know couples that have broken up for long periods of time, dated other people and still got back together. When i sit and think i know loads of couples.
9 years is a long time. I have found that when the relationship is long, the dumpers continue to think long about their decision long after the "official breakup". When you go NC, then she will really have time to reflect on her decision, this is when the real breakup starts.