Getting back together really does happen!

[Yostina]

I wish that one day we could all write down our successful stories. Sighs

[brokenhurt]

Here is a story ,basically its not that type of reconciliation its kind of story where dumper got back begging

 

i knew a girl she had a relationship with a boy for 2 years then theboy left him .she aksed her not to leave her but he never listened to her then after 6 months he came back out of blue and begged her to take him back its been one year that he is txting and begging to take him back but she is not

[AmericanHuney]

Ok so not that this counts as a success story but I thought I'd throw it out there to give others perspective....

 

1. My college boyfriend and me dated about 9months (this was my junior year). He was a year older than me and we hardley ever fought we just had fun together doing silly things like watching movies and going to the beach a lot. He ended up studying abroad that lasted about 3months in the fall. We planned on staying together and we talked about every other day for the first two weeks he was abroad. Then out of nowhere he ends it, just like that. He said he just wanted to follow his career and didn't have time for a girlfriend. I was devastated and didn't know what had happened. I went NC immediatley, because I don't beg and I didn't see the point in keeping in touch since I didn't really see him as a friend but my boyfriend. I saw him on campus from time to time when he got back from his studies in another country but stayed far away, I mean he really hurt me. He tried approaching me at a party about 6months after the breakup but I said I didn't want to talk to him and left the party. So we graduated, he went off to grad school I heard through mutual friends and I went an moved to a new city. Well 3yrs pass and guess who pops up on FB trying to be friends again and work it out with me! Yep, you got it HIM! Well I was way over it and basically said "thanks but no thanks!". Guess he had his dose of life and realized I was the best thing he was ever going to get.

 

2. I dated a guy for a year and a half when I moved to a new city after college. We had so much fun together an talked about having a family someday and getting serious, but we both agreed that focusing on our careers and each other was the most we could handle at the time becuase we both wanted to be successful for ourselves and one another. We were the same age btw. Well one day I find out he's cheating on me and had been for 2months, gosh that hit me hard. Right away again, NC! I wanted nothing to do with him I was so devastated. Well about 3months later I start getting little texts here an there, then about 6months into the breakup he's begging me back and says he made the biggest mistake of his life! I told him to get a life! I dont' go back to people who cheat, yuck! Even after I said that he kept begging for another 3months!! Gosh guy didn't get a clue right!

 

Anyway, these are not really success stories but I wanted to share becuase I know if I wanted either of these guys back by the time they came back I could have had them full force! I also wanted to share becuase NC works for me and I say it's the way to go, becuase you shouldn't have to beg someone to stay and it does help to move on. Plus if it's meant to be then you'll know in your heart when they do come back, but for me I knew in my heart they were not the guy for me so I said no.

 

I also agree, that it depends on how the breakup ends if you will want them back when or if they come back. Cheating I say No Way! But as for my first boyfriend if he had fought harder sooner, like within a year I would have at least tried. But he took too long and I grew up a lot.

 

One more Story:

 

My friend was seeing this girl for like 4months, he really loved her. Then one day she writes him an email saying she's going back to her ex. He was so devastated, lost it pretty much for months. Well about a year later, she contacts him and begs him back saying she made such a mistake and they have been dating now for 3months strong! They are so in love! He also went NC once she ended it and I think over time she grew up and realized what she had done and lost.

 

So there ya go NC works! and if they don't come back, then it's their loss and you move on! But as I said before, you'll know in your heart when the opportunity arises if you want them back. I do believe some people have connections and when they are lost and then reconnected again, they can pick back up and forgive because they truley love eachother.

 

xxx!

[faith_8]

For some reason your post here leaves me with a smile and a dose of strength to be strong and just be! Thank you!

[dgmc]

I just wanted to say that this thread helps most dumpees through tough times and it doesn't not give much as far as false hope.

I just met up with my ex tonight. I wont lie and say I didn't hope she wanted me back. But I was also realistic and knew that she hadn't changed (4 weeks since BU). We met and I told her that if she didn't want to be with me, than we cannot be in contact with each other and we cannot be friends. I probably wouldn't have had the guts to make this strong move if I hadn't read this thread. It helped me make the right move which was to move on. One day we may get back together. But she is definitely not ready for a serious relationship now. This thread made me think about the situation and ironically helped me shed my hope.

I'm sorry to those that are looking for happy endings. I'm still going to read these posts. They still cheer me up even though my relationship is over. Hey, they might give me hope about reconciling in a few years. I don't see anything wrong with that. Why not think positively about the far off future. If it makes you happy than do it. No one can let life pass by for that long anyways. Let it make you happy until happiness of life returns.

Just my opinion.

Would someone please post a happy story after this downer.

[dgmc]

K I got one.

An old friend of mine broke up with his girlfriend because she was talking about wanting to get married. He said she was on the 7 year plan. I never had of this term before. I guess it goes, if she can stay with him for 7 years, then he'll ask her to marry her. They went out for a year or longer (I can't remember the specifics). They also lived together. They fought over this, she was offended. He broke it off. She I'm sure was heart broke. He isn't the kind of guy not to feel bad (or at least show it). He's not exactly the best role model when it comes to relationships.

But I just heard that he is back together with her after being a year or two separated. I doubt that he's matured too much, but nevertheless they are back together and he may be more accepting to get married sometime in the nearer future.

[MissDaisy]

I think that there must be really specific factors in place for a breakup period to lead to getting back together. My brother and his wife are an example. He was with her for a year and he liked her, but became really nervous and afraid when he realised that she wanted to get married. He's a good man, but initially he was afraid of commitment and insecure about it. At first, he did the right thing which was to break up with her. He did not want to lead her on, or hurt her. For three months after the breakup he grew increasingly miserable... he went into therapy... talked about his fears... made a huge leap to understand what love really means and took a spiritual approach to it all. He got back together with her and in a few months he married her.

 

I am proud of my brother because he was quite exceptional. He proved to be very good at dealing with his emotions and learning about himself.

 

How many people are willing to do that? How many people truly have such an exceptional growth potential?Every time I experience a breakup with a guy that I think I am in love with, I desperately WISH that the guy could be more like my brother. In fact I still look for what I now call "my brother's syndrome". I look for potential growth sings in the guy and I hope that if I just let things be, just wait and be patient... he may come back... because he just needs to work on himself before he can eventually learn to love and make a commitment....

 

For me it never happens. My sister-in-law was EXTREMELY lucky!!

[Julo]

well this is one good tread I want to start off. It's true what a poster said earlier, reconciliation happens more often than what people think. On ENA people come here for advice and to help them get through whatever the problem is in the relationship, and once the reconciliation happens the person forgets about ENA and does not really post any more. People really tend to tell their friends family or whatever the case may be. I am one that has gotten dump and for some weird reason things between me and my ex has taken a turn for the better. Not to say we are together, but working on yourself and the problems that doomed the relationship you have to work on for yourself, and if you ex partner see's that you are not only working on yourself for the better he or she will see that. Just for everyone that reads this just take the break up with a grain of salt. I have been the dumper before and I tend to burn bridges when I get dumped or I do the dumping. But I have not burned the bridge on my ex just solely on my feelings towards her. Just my advice work on whatever brought down the relationship with your partner. Not only will it make you a better person, but it will make you a better person for your ex IF you do reconcile or make you an even better person for your next partner. Goodluck to everyone

[Lucy1982]

I was dropped by my boyfriend of 3.5 years and was simply devastated. He asked for space and I didn't hear a word from him for ages, I didn't know if it was just space or if it really was over but his silence spoke volumes. Rather than hounding him as much as I wanted to get in touch I left him to it, of course it was hard, we'd shared so much and he was my best friend, I got on with my life, traveled, focused on me and the moment I really let go and thought "I'm ok on my own, I really am" he wanted to talk so we got together and I told him I wasn't prepared to be treated like that, I wasn't waiting for him and this was it for ME. It took a good month of talking and seeing each other a few times a week to sort some things out. Turned out he really did just need some time to work some things out, and boy did he do that, someone I feared was a commitment-phob has done a complete 180 and keeps talking about our plans for the future!

 

Getting back together DOES happen but only if you don't give up on yourself and truly move on and let go.

[TheGriff]

Alright, folks, here it goes: I had ex-boyfriends by whom I got dumped (short-term, long-term relationships) coming back after 5 months, 1 year, 2.5 years, 10 years and 14 years. However, I had moved on by the time they knocked at my door and didn't want to get back with anyone of them. Too late, guys. LOL

[brokenhurt]

Alright, folks, here it goes: I had ex-boyfriends by whom I got dumped (short-term, long-term relationships) coming back after 5 months, 1 year, 2.5 years, 10 years and 14 years. However, I had moved on by the time they knocked at my door and didn't want to get back with anyone of them. Too late, guys. LOL

 

lol its really too late 5months look kind of ok but rest uhhhhhhhhhh.u must have had messy break-ups isnt so?

[TheGriff]

lol its really too late 5months look kind of ok but rest uhhhhhhhhhh.u must have had messy break-ups isnt so?

 

Not at all. Except one there were all on good terms. I just wanted to encourage those who are suffering right now and give another example that they never forget you. Over time so many things can change or happen. And, apparently, men come back more often than women.

[o_hopeless_o]

I have one. Not much of success but the dumpers came back.

 

My friend was with this guy and they lived hour away from each other. They were really into each other and she fell for him so did he. I dont remember how long it was but in the end he broke up with her and couple days later hooked up with a friend of his. She begged and begged and wanted to make it work. That didnt work out in her favor and he told her to move on. So she did. She was sad for a while but then started picking up her life and met her now boyfriend whom she is having a baby girl with and loves. Well geuss what? That guy started asking a mutual friend of ours what shes been up too and my our friend of course told him and at some point of my friends relationship they had a rough patch and he found out and he told our friend that he was still madly in love with our friend and that if whatever she needed she could ask him, money, help etc (WHAT? LOL) Also he told our friend that if her boyfriend left he would want to be with her and help her with the baby. He was writting love poems and everything about her but yeah he is too late now!

 

And like the Griff majority of my ex's have came back to me, even when I dumped them. I remember being dumped by a guy giving me no good reason why he was and then I moved on and found myself a new man. One night he called me and I was kinda of like what the heck? I answered and this guy was going on about how he needed me in his life and was miserable and everything was going wrong and that "Im not like other girls." (if I had a nickel...) Yeah I was over him. He kept trying to pursue me even AFTER me and that guy I was with didnt work out who I broke up with and even THAT guy came back to me. Lord. Idk I could go on... But Ill stop haha! Alot of ex's do come back but when you LEAST expect it and your usually over them!

[brokenhurt]

well mostly in all the stories ex came back after the relationship ended on good terms ...is there anyone who's ex came back after a messy break-up

[markyspark]

Yeah...I'd like to here some stories regarding getting back together after messy splits..!

[nanana]

I have a couple...

 

My parents for starters! My dad has left my mum numerous times, always for at least 6 months, once up to 18months, but has always come back saying how much of an idiot he is, and now they've been together almost 28 years!

 

My nan and grandad split after being married for a few years. He ran away to another country with some woman but came back a year later.

 

And these ones aren't getting back together, but my brother left his first love after 4 years. He found a new girlfriend straight away. The girl he left still contacted him from time to time, and sometimes he responded, but a lot of the time he'd ignore he.. Even when he did respond, he'd be cold and mean to her, and admitted he got a slight kick out of it (but he's SO ashamed of that). After a few months of being broken up, they did see each other a bit, hooked up and talked about getting back together, but he changed his mind.

 

A year and a half later, he finally missed her like crazy. Was desperate to get back with her, but after begging him and then going through so much NC, she'd already moved on. Five years later and he's STILL in love with her and regretting it. Can't believe it took him 18 months to miss her though!

 

One of my friends also, she dumped a guy after being together 2 and a half years. She dated others, slept with guys, all the while either being nasty to her ex, or just outright ignoring his attempts at contact. She said she missed him the whole time, but repressed it and was cold to try and push those feelings back. After ignoring him for a year, she called him out of the blue because she couldn't stop thinking about him. He told her he'd moved on and had a new girlfriend. Years later, he's now married to the new gf!

 

And look at Jude Law and Sienna Miller. Back together after FOUR years!

 

I just think, once you've loved someone, anything can happen. Feelings don't ever go away completely. But all these cases of the ex wanting the dumpee back have always been after the dumpee has moved on or disappeared.

[uncomfynumb]

Not to be rude, but you have mentioned cases of very selfish dumpers coming back. If they left you, screwed around, are they seriously worth it? Does having these hedonsitic experiences somehow make them whole and perfect again? "Oh, honey, I didn't know what I had until I lost it." "Well my dear, then are you not too smart!"

 

Come on!!!!!

 

 

 

Feelings of wanting to reconcile oftentimes DO go away completely, especially after you move on and find someone better than your ex. Someone that is committed and doesn't need to feel the warm insides of another to be so.

[markyspark]

So I guess there is hope, even for people like me...my ex (at the moment) wouldn't spit on me if I was on fire...and her family would probably want to set me on fire..lol

 

We had two minor splits (about a week or so) before the big one (about 5 months ago) - but maybe after a bit of space, theres some possibility..granted, I'm getting on with life, but she was brilliant...we connected on so many levels her mum pulled the strings..

[nanana]

I didn't mean feelings of reconciliation, I just meant feelings of caring for someone after being with them for a long time.

 

But trust me, I agree! I'm happy for my brothers ex that she didn't take him back, and I even sometimes wish my mum had the guts to tell my dad where to go. As much as I love him, there is no way he deserves her.

 

The other two stories I don't know much about. And as for my ex, we got back once and he's screwed me around enough times for me to think the happiest ending we could have is me saying goodbye forever!

 

I was just taking part in the thread and showing that sometimes, while a dumper may do things that are hurtful, there may still be love there. I'm quite fascinated by the whole psychology behind some of these situations!

 

 

Not to be rude, but you have mentioned cases of very selfish dumpers coming back. If they left you, screwed around, are they seriously worth it? Does having these hedonsitic experiences somehow make them whole and perfect again? "Oh, honey, I didn't know what I had until I lost it." "Well my dear, then are you not too smart!"

 

Come on!!!!!

 

 

 

Feelings of wanting to reconcile oftentimes DO go away completely, especially after you move on and find someone better than your ex. Someone that is committed and doesn't need to feel the warm insides of another to be so.

[sweety74]

Thanks for starting this post wishing star, what youv'e done is offer a little comfort and a little hope to people. Its nice to hear that some relationships can be repaired after time apart. Sometimes that is all that is needed and the relationship is much better and stronger when it is renewed. If ONLY we had a crystal ball when our relationships broke up, and could see that sometime in the future we would be back in the arms of our partner. It would make the break up so much easier dont you think?? I'm not trying to be sarcastic or nasty with that comment, its just a thought I had.

I think everyone needs to be prepared for the fact that their partner may not return to them, and not sit around at home hoping for a reconciliation, I think we still need to get on with our lives and concentrate on ourselves, and who knows what might happen in the future?

But thanks for your stories - amazing that some people have reconnected after years of being apart. I think its like they say, some people are just meant to be together!

[uncomfynumb]

nanana,

 

You are close my heart girl and I'm trying in my own way to look after you. You would do the same for me. : )

[nanana]

Thank you Certainly need looking after! My first love has just broken my heart all over again and despite knowing it's for the best that I run far, far away from him, my logic isn't really doing me justice at the moment! Siiiiigh.

[faithful14]

I have a question after reading this thread...it maybe kind off topic but I'll throw it out there anyways, in terms of having a successful reconciliation (meaning marriage, children, and living happily), does it matter if you have broken up two times, three times, four times? I know some say if you have broken up once or twice before, then it's a bad sign. I'm interested in hearing people's opinions?

[markyspark]

Hmm..I think it'd be down to the people, I'm not sure if theres a connection between the number of times you have split, and the likeliness of getting back together..

 

Maybe its down to that old saying...'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' ??

[uncomfynumb]

I have a question after reading this thread...it maybe kind off topic but I'll throw it out there anyways, in terms of having a successful reconciliation (meaning marriage, children, and living happily), does it matter if you have broken up two times, three times, four times? I know some say if you have broken up once or twice before, then it's a bad sign. I'm interested in hearing people's opinions?

 

I think it is a bad sign that when two people have broken up and reconcillled more than once. Seriously once is bad enough. More than that and I think that both people have issues of some sort that need to be worked out individually before embarking on another relationship with anyone, especially the ex. For me, once is enough and it would take a special set of circumstances in order to reconcile. Quite honestly, I would have a very hard time trusting my ex enough and would probably be insecure in the relationship. That is not a good way to feel at all.