o_hopeless_o

Lol, I just wanted you to know your the first ex i tried to kill in my dreams and almost succeeded until I woke up, THREE TIMES. And if I could predict your life in the next decade is you being the drunk you are but 100x worse never committing to anyone but beer and liquor. Have fun with that! Im so glad the new year is hear, feels like a new chapter, good riddance. Gotta get me a fresh new pair of J's now.

I have one. Not much of success but the dumpers came back. My friend was with this guy and they lived hour away from each other. They were really into each other and she fell for him so did he. I dont remember how long it was but in the end he broke up with her and couple days later hooked up with a friend of his. She begged and begged and wanted to make it work. That didnt work out in her favor and he told her to move on. So she did. She was sad for a while but then started picking up her life and met her now boyfriend whom she is having a baby girl with and loves. Well geuss what? That guy started asking a mutual friend of ours what shes been up too and my our friend of course told him and at some point of my friends relationship they had a rough patch and he found out and he told our friend that he was still madly in love with our friend and that if whatever she needed she could ask him, money, help etc (WHAT? LOL) Also he told our friend that if her boyfriend left he would want to be with her and help her with the baby. He was writting love poems and everything about her but yeah he is too late now! And like the Griff majority of my ex's have came back to me, even when I dumped them. I remember being dumped by a guy giving me no good reason why he was and then I moved on and found myself a new man. One night he called me and I was kinda of like what the heck? I answered and this guy was going on about how he needed me in his life and was miserable and everything was going wrong and that "Im not like other girls." (if I had a nickel...) Yeah I was over him. He kept trying to pursue me even AFTER me and that guy I was with didnt work out who I broke up with and even THAT guy came back to me. Lord. Idk I could go on... But Ill stop haha! Alot of ex's do come back but when you LEAST expect it and your usually over them!

i think i know what went wrong between us. and i think you panicked way to much. we both had to parts in it, and if we step backed and look at it we would have figured it out. and if you didnt ignore feelings and speak up we probably would still be together. you always do that after you promised me the first time you wouldnt, but i still love you. come home. i know this can work, but you got to give it time. not push the escape button every time you cant figure s__t out. seriously lets work this out. i can see that it wont take much but more open communication so we surely will understand each other. i tried everything, and alot of times i wasnt even smothering you so you cant say that either cause you so dang confusing. you ask for this and that, i did it. but you still have to ask why didnt u do anything to fix it. you need to work on that. we are a good couple and match and i know it regaurdless what ppl say. there is chemistry there. we didnt have to end. i hope you realize it soon, IF you even realize anything.

I love you. I do. I don't know where your feelings went or what you want and I'm not surprised you don't either. I wish to bump into you later in life and us work. Im not going to hold onto hope and I'm going to assume its over. But seriously not knowing if its goodbye or see you later kills me. Who is to say its not meant to be? You said somethings that right now what I think you need is more experience. If yourself even has that wish to bump into each other later in life I don't object to it. And you know what I mean. But for now I need to lose all feelings. I'll be missing you, and its sad that you admit it will be hard to top what we had with anyone else and I think you actually know this and It's not just something your saying.

today i told you i want to forget you. im lying. i want you to come back for me. and thats me being 100% honest with even myself not matter how much i say you dont deserve me. your birthday is coming up in april. i dont know how i will handle that day. i know you have court for your ticket and im sure youl drink with your fraternity brothers. i cant help but think they will pressure you to do something stupid with a girl even though i know thats not in your nature to fall into that stuff. i dont think ill even say happy birthday. you wanted me gone, so i am. i did it because you told me too, because i love you so im trying so hard to let you go. but it was so good to just hear your voice. did you feel that way? im surprised you admitted to wanting to call but i know thats only you wanting to be selfish, but it made me feel good. but if your life is so happy without me, why do you need me in it at all? there can be no friendship between us. do you want me to resent you later while you try to be my friend? it wont work, and im not sorry. i wish your were.

i hope you were good the past couple days and your not hopping around with other girls which i doubt, cause i know thats not in your nature, cause i know you like the back of my hand. i hope your not out there getting too drunk and taking care of yourself. just know i love you and miss you. dont forget about me. i wish youd call me and told me you messed up.

today is hard. i woke up and thought of you. cried a little bit more. i miss you. i want you want. i love you. if its in gods will i want you back and us to work. have you been missing me or thinking about me or us? do you miss me laying in bed with you? waking up next to you with lots of kisses to give? im having a weak moment and after the event that happened yesterday there is absolutely no point in ever making contact. i want to really badly though. i wanna hear you voice, i want to hold your hand. whats going on with you? i know our relationship and love isnt just going to disappeear. how could you let go of it so easily? why did you give up?

i reallly love, and soon loved you, and you kept everything. why are you like this? i gave everything and my all. you dont rememeber just 5 days ago we were laying in bed, laughing having fun? saying i love yous and telling how much we mean to each other? and the whole week before that? and how excited you were to see me? where did it all go wrong? ive done everything to make you happy and anything you asked for. why am i not good enough now? i wish it all worked out. i wanted great things for us. and it makes me mad how i really want to hate you but i cant but i know your such an a$$hole for everything. i miss you, and i keep dreaming random things about you. do you think of me? do you miss me? why do you always say you love me yet you dont want to be with me? saying how i cant be easily replaced and all this bs? we had a REALLY good thing, a great thing. we ARE compatible and you know it. what do you just want to party? all you care about are you fraternity brothers? your best friend is single now you have to be? i dont know you anymore. and i really wished that god had put you in my life for the reason to be with you for a long time but i think that ship has sailed, but i really wished that was what it was. i wish you were the guy god put in my life to love forever and youd love me the same. it hurts to not hear you. to see you. to touch you. i know ill make it through but i wanted to be with you. i wanted to have so many memories with you and experience things with you. just to be happy with you and be together. why did you lie to me? how did this relationship fall apart? i thought we were working on everything and we both were happy, you told me you wanted this. your responsible for everything you've said and just a few short days after seeing you its all over? what you dont know about anything? dont you remember holding my hand and youd stare in my eyes and tell me how much you loved me and kiss me afterwards and make me laugh. what the h3ll happened to that all? what the hell did i do? and now its just over. all done. im suppose to let it all go now. you want me to forget you. why cant i have a fast forward and erase botton. i officially have lost you. why is having you out of my life so hard, but it seems for you its okay but you still love me. im not the right girl for you but yet your saying idk. you sound so unsure sometimes about letting me go. why couldnt you have just been someone to be in love and stay in love and not give up? i even feel stupid writting this and i know your probably all cozy in your bed not giving a about me, when i wish you would. wish you would think i made a mistake i need her. i want to think i was that special to you were it WILL be hard to replace me. because i am and was for you everything you asked for. i dont know how many girls you think will do the things i did... cause personally love like this doesnt happen all the time. your an idiot for letting me go. i want to wish you happiness and i sort of do, but its for sure not happiness with someone else. maybe happiness in life, but definitely i dont want you happy with someone else and to erase the memories of me. i hope even though its bad to be the girl you regret to lose. the one who can say, "i made a mistake." stupid? your telling me.

I hate that your feeling this way. I have the whimpering, freaking quivering lip and headache, then the rush of tears all at once. i hate it. i fcking miss my ex though.

wrong post.

i miss you and i love you. i want to be with you and i bet that could be a little scary and your in college and all that. im sorry if anything i did made you want to break up with me even thought you swear that it isnt me and you love me with all your heart. i know i was a good girlfriend but its hard to believe those words. i would like to think if its meant to be it will be, but i keep thinking hopefully we'll find our way back, but i dont want to anymore, i want to forget, this is hurting me too much. just know i would have done everything and anything for you. i hope if you do have a different girl soon even thought you said thats not what you want, she'll love you just as much as i did...

Here I am AGAIN sitting wondering what I did wrong, wondering WHY I wasnt good enough for him to stay then at the same time I know I did nothing wrong, that I was nothing BUT good to him, gave him everything he asked for. Acting like he wanted this so badly, that he was so grateful. I let him do everything and anything, wasnt taking him away from what he wanted. I trusted him and now its thrown back in my face. I dont think he really had deep feelings. Its so hard cause I sit and replay the conversation "It was real, I do love you" blah blah blah. How is it real if you left me? How is it real when you left and there was no real problems? Then asking me to be your "FRIEND?!" God I feel so dumb and Im only on day two. I just want to yell and tell him he is the biggest jerk. Why would you throw away a great relationship? then say I know. WHO DOES THAT?! Your the one who said you wanted this just as much as I did. How often do we get relationships like this !? It was probably all lies. The loneliness is kick my butt. I feel so alone. I dont know what to do. what you didnt want to commit? or was it just me? you made it so damn clear i was what you wanted. now im not? god.. Losing my appetite over this, so stupid. i hate this, i hate my feelings, i hate that i love you, i hate it! I HATE IT. I dont want to love you anymore. I thought so highly of you and now its destroyed. Why would you ruin that? I cared so much for you, accepted all your flaws, thinking the sun still shined out your asz! fck. here I am again sitting in front of my computer while your probably at home, or out having the time of you life with your stupid frat brothers. I bet your jealous of the BACHELOR status right? WHATEVER i hate yours guts. I never want to fall for you ever again. God forbid me I go back to you once you realize you made a mistake.

i dont want to care anymore. its only day one i wish it was month ahead of time. i dont even think you really loved me. you played me for a fool but at the same time i can only blame myself for believing the stupid things you said. you were everything i could have imagined in a guy and yet you disappoint me and i see you for what you are. saying you want to be single, but DAMN you were so fking good at acting committed to me, so good at making me feel like the luckiest girl, so damn good. so clever with you acting 2 days before you laid down the new. your acting impresses me. i fcking hate you, i hate how i still have feelings of being with you but i dont want that. i never want to allow myself to ever talk to you again, ever be a friend or an acquaintance. your the same guy you were when i saw you getting treated like trash, being a naive person. making dumb decisions. and its you who got lucky cause obviosuly i was ready to give you the world (you act liked it too) and your just a lil boy who wants to hoe around. i deserve better. i just thought we were made for each. i didnt think you were this guy, being so cold, crying probably cause of GUILT making me think thats its cause you still love me so much, BULLSH*T. i wish i could tell you this and how much of a loser you are right now. i hate these stupid feelings. i hate for letting myself fall. and all i can do is be mad/sad and cry my eyes out for you. you say it was real then why the fck did this happen? im ashamed i let myself fall for you. it was all lies.