Getting back together really does happen!

[tony c]

any think in this life is possible its just the time it takes to reach that goal people get back together all the time and break up again because they havent changed the reasons they broke up in the first place as someone posted above the longer you are broken up the better the relationship if you get back together, this is because people learn by there mistakes when they have had a lot of time to think and realise were it went wrong.

alot of people on here that are negative about getting back together have been in relationship that have ended got back together and broken up again because the necassary changes havnt been made for it to work. alot of people that have been on here and got back together and are still together now probably dont post because they are happy with there partner and dont feel the need to post again.

if we all learn by are mistakes we can achive anythink.

[adviseseeker]

I found this:

[adviseseeker]

Oh, I also found another reconciliation story:

[Lonewulv]

if we all learn by are mistakes we can achive anything.

 

Yes, that is my theory exactly. Its okay to hope, when all else fails, thats what keeps us going. But if you truly want your ex back, you need more than hope, you need belief. You need to KNOW that you can get them back. As crazy or nieve as it sounds, the power of belief and positive thinking goes a long way.

 

You have to weigh the pros and cons, and determine whether or not the relationship is worth saving. if you have the strength to realize your shortcomings, and fix them, You're well on your way to getting your love back.

 

That is my mindset. I think I just might post my story...

[findinghope]

My boyfriend and I recently broke up so I've been looking for inspirational stories to get me through this. This forum is definitely cathartic I hate to be at a point in life when hope is totally gone. That I think would be the saddest state for me.

 

Anywho, two stories that I know:

 

1. My friend at 22 dated this guy who she knew and had this feeling she was going to marry him. Unfortunately his thoughts were more "I don't know if I love her." So he broke it off with my friend. Devastated as she was she moved on with her life even though that feeling at the back of her head that they were meant to be still lingered. So he dated other women and she dated other men. They had no contact. 6 years later her ex realizes that he actually is in love with my friend which strained his relationship with his current girlfriend and ends it. It's not until one year after that he finally has the guts to call my friend. Well as the story turns out, they are now married and doing pretty well.

 

2. My cousin dated several guys in her lifetime, all she felt really strongly for and loved them and pined for them but she never had a feeling that they were the one and things ended. One of her boyfriends who dumped her even said "the problem was she was too available." of course he wanted her back a year later but she had already moved on. But then she meets this guy of whom she just knew that she would end up with him in the end. But they had so many ups and downs as well, that at one point she got on a plane and actually flew thousands of miles to stay with me just to watch tv. Expensive tv habit I told her then. I didn't understand that she was doing the No Contact thing. I just let her be while she refused to watch any type of romance films. Well this current ex wanted her back and now they too are married.

 

My cousin gave me this advice:

"Learn from my mistakes. I was told once I was too available and I saw it in all my relationships after that and that guy was right. It took me years to learn from allt his. So with my husband now I've learned that the less available I am, the more he works hard to get me to love him. Guys are always put off and pull away by women who push and wants things to rush along."

[rifkin]

Heard this from my aunt and uncle and it's kind of a funny story when you hear both sides! My aunt was asking me how I was doing, it's been about 2mos. since my ex broke up with me and my uncle piped in saying, "she broke up with me 5 times!!" She says, "No!! It wasn't 5 times!!". I think he would know to be honest haha, but anyways he said after the 5th time he made her 'beg' to come back. Last week they had their 24th wedding anniversary, went to palm springs for a while.

[GenoGeno]

My buddy was going out with a girl for a year and a bit they broke up....(She broke up with him) he was pretty crushed about it but he chose to get into another relationship right after i guess to deal with it. He dated this other girl for a couple months and then realized he didn't like her as much...He was in strict no contact with his ex at this point. Je didn't talk to his ex for 5 months. He talked to her after breaking up with the fling girl they hung out a couple times and now are happy back together.

 

I've got a question though....do you guys think that emotionally abusive relationships have a less chance of getting back together? My ex always use to tell me how i was the nicest person she had ever met and how happy she was. Then my life got stressful due to income and i was always stressed out and this lead me to being quite nasty to her sometimes and hurting her feelings a whole lot...I guess she just said to herself one day, I've had enough.... I know this girl really loved me though. I know i would never be like that again but situations where they felt hurt a lot of the time probably have a way less chance of reconciliation would you say?

[bullonparade]

A guy I play sports with that I've know for 2 years just had a baby. I guess him and his wife broke up for a year after dating for quite a while after she moved out of the state. She came back, they got in touch and now are married with a child. From what I can gather they didn't talk when broken up.

[BuddingLotus]

My cousin gave me this advice:

"Learn from my mistakes. I was told once I was too available and I saw it in all my relationships after that and that guy was right. It took me years to learn from allt his. So with my husband now I've learned that the less available I am, the more he works hard to get me to love him. Guys are always put off and pull away by women who push and wants things to rush along."

 

I think this may have been my problem.... Is this really true for most men?

[Civic204]

I think this may have been my problem.... Is this really true for most men?

 

Well I think the reverse happened to me, I was too available to my ex-gf.

[bungalo]

I thought it was completely hopeless after this our second breakup..it lasted 5 months...I gave up..she gave up..we both grew as individuals...met up 5 months to the day that we broke up..and realized we were still in love..so yes it really does happen. Thanks to ENA for all the loving support and advice-Bung

[Civic204]

I thought it was completely hopeless after this our second breakup..it lasted 5 months...I gave up..she gave up..we both grew as individuals...met up 5 months to the day that we broke up..and realized we were still in love..so yes it really does happen. Thanks to ENA for all the loving support and advice-Bung

 

Good to hear!

[Diagonal]

She dumped me after I neglected her and made her feel unloved in our relationship.

 

Went LC straight away, then patches of NC, the odd week or fortnight and she came back.

 

It was a day short of 4 months and we're now back together.

 

She did rebound, but it made her realize how much she missed me and what she'd dumped.

 

I worked on my issues and although it's been less than a week, things are great. We're making sure to give each other space, but we're both really happy to be back together.

[Civic204]

She dumped me after I neglected her and made her feel unloved in our relationship.

 

Went LC straight away, then patches of NC, the odd week or fortnight and she came back.

 

It was a day short of 4 months and we're now back together.

 

She did rebound, but it made her realize how much she missed me and what she'd dumped.

 

I worked on my issues and although it's been less than a week, things are great. We're making sure to give each other space, but we're both really happy to be back together.

 

I like this!

[doiiiieeezie]

I'm bumping this just to show some positivity in a negative atmosphere.

[Civic204]

Good bump!

[newwave]

A few family stories:

 

My parents broke up a few times before they got married. The've been married 41 years.

 

My brother met his then girlfriend in school but then they decided they were "just friends". They both went to college (different schools) and dated other people. After college they were "just friends" and moved in (or so they say) as platonic friends, then realized yes they were meant to be together. In fact they were "just friends" so many times I've lost count. They've been married ten years and have a one year old daughter (that I absolutely love). In fact when the one I love said he only wanted to be friends I called my sister in law and said my brother pulled the same thing.

 

I have a friend who met a guy, he couldn't commit at the time so she dated other guys. She dated a great guy but didn't feel the sparks she felt with the first guy. He came back and they are now engaged.

[engos]

I dumped my partner (not completely back together yet, we'll see) a few times.

 

I am now beginning to turn to her to tell her my frustrations. I used to just bottle them up and then every few months I'd reach breaking point and tell her I couldn't do it anymore.

 

My frustrations could perhaps be fundamental...we have a bit of an intellectual disconnect which is important to me. But there are many things she is and does which makes me happy and proud. We do have a good rapport, but a lot of the time I have the feeling there is something missing.

 

It might not work out, but I'm now not fearful of being honest with her, and I hope she is with me. She understands and we talk about it.

 

We never did NC, we said we would but never fully committed. I don't know if it was a good thing or not. I know that I have never been as honest with her as I am now and obviously this wouldn't have changed if we weren't even talking.

 

BTW, this documentary is filled with reconciliation stories, in fact all the couples broke up at least once...

 

link removed

 

The difference between their relationships and mine however was perhaps an initial attraction or love that I don't think I really felt. I think I have loved her more over time.

[hater13]

lol i think the moral of this is that MANY couples get back together. ACTUALLY i find that the majority of couples get back together whether it's months after the break up or years, especially when it's a "first love" BUT do they last? Depends on the situation and how much people have matured.

 

 

I'm actually glad I had the experience of my first REAL relationship with my ex (we both are 19- he was my first love and I was his). I learned a lot, things that would help me in my future relationships, or who knows my possible NEW relationship with him?

 

You never know the world works in mysterious ways. Just be happy for the experience you had

[GenoGeno]

I am happy for the experience i had with my ex, she showed me a great relationship and as much as I miss her. I'm just happy she is doing good. But the world does work in mysterious ways at a couple months down the road who knows what will happen.

[Brigadoon]

Love, love, love, love, LOVE this thread!!!

[BackToYou]

This thread has been really helpful to me after break up ( false hope, I know )

 

A few stories that I know

 

1. My friend and his girlfriend broke up after two years. They had lot of fights during those years and she left him. He was devasted but accepted the break up. They were separated for 8 months but stayed friends. She started to miss him and they decided to give a second chance to relationship. They are getting married in this summer and are happier than ever.

 

2. I know this guy from high school. He was together with her gf for a 1,5 years. He cheated on her many times, was verbally abusive and used drugs. She dumped him. Needless to say, there was a no chance to get back together with her ever. Breaking up with her was a real wake-up call to him. He wanted to change for a better man and after one year, she took him back. They got married recently and had a baby. He is a totally different guy today and treats his wife and son as good as possible.

[fuddiduddy]

This thread clearly shows that....

 

No matter what the circumstances are that led to any breakup, (i.e., no matter how heinous, ugly, or seemingly irreconcilable), one thing is for sure:

 

 

***GETTING BACK TOGETHER IS ALWAYS POSSIBLE***

 

 

...as with anything in life.

[Civic204]

This thread clearly shows that....

 

No matter what the circumstances are that led to any breakup, (i.e., no matter how heinous, ugly, or seemingly irreconcilable), one thing is for sure:

 

 

***GETTING BACK TOGETHER IS ALWAYS POSSIBLE***

 

 

...as with anything in life.

 

Agreed. Anything is possible.

[Hermes]

Sometimes it works out great sometimes it doesnt. I dont think its fair to give people unrealistic expectations.

 

Exactly.

 

Also, IMO, it hugely depends on the circumstances of the initial break-up. If two people just drifted apart, and were in a relatively healthy relationship, then I can see how they might get back together. However, if the relationship was abusive, dysfunctional, and that was the reason for the break-up, then very very inadvisable to try to get back together at all costs.

 

H.