speak Posted February 22, 2009 Author Share Posted February 22, 2009 Gets what he needs on the road? Link to comment
shikashika Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Gets what he needs on the road? you know what it means! Link to comment
speak Posted February 22, 2009 Author Share Posted February 22, 2009 you know what it means! I do and I think it's sick, because if you love someone you wouldn't have sex with another. It isn't love. But, yeah - I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS. Link to comment
shikashika Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I do and I think it's sick, because if you love someone you wouldn't have sex with another. It isn't love. But, yeah - I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS. Well you asked! i don't think anyone thinks it's commendable either... and i think you may have missed the point jigsup was making. What if you get to your wedding night and realise that you don't like sex at all? or maybe your husband doesn't want to have sex with you at all.. What do you do then? Link to comment
BrunetteBarbie Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Omg I could never wait till marriage.. And I dont really understand why some womans wait for the marriage.. Sometimes I think they only want to be so mysterious, Hard to Get kind of thing, to make the guy be more excited, and value the sex with her more. Im not saying sleep with a guy in the first date, just.. I wouldnt wait longer than 3 months. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Omg I could never wait till marriage.. . i think you are already past that point.... Link to comment
speak Posted February 22, 2009 Author Share Posted February 22, 2009 Well you asked! i don't think anyone thinks it's commendable either... and i think you may have missed the point jigsup was making. What if you get to your wedding night and realise that you don't like sex at all? or maybe your husband doesn't want to have sex with you at all.. What do you do then? Why would you even speculate that? That's so ridiculous. I'm sure you would know if someone wanted to have sex with you without actually doing it; it's chemistry. Yeah, you have lots of animosity. Link to comment
Creative Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I haven't read this long 8 page thread in such detail. But skimming through it looks more like others are not respecting her view at a much greater extent than her imposing her views on others. What nationality are you by the way, speak. I know this forum is composed mainly of Americans with a small portion from other English speaking countries. Some topics of what I've seen in this website with regards to sex is very peer pressuring. I've been in other countries where it is not so. Just know that this is mainly an English speaking forum, so the idea of waiting is not so accepted here. Perhaps aside from the individualistic idea of 'respecting' other's view, you're probably not going to get much reception here. Link to comment
shikashika Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Why would you even speculate that? That's so ridiculous. I'm sure you would know if someone wanted to have sex with you without actually doing it; it's chemistry. Yeah, you have lots of animosity. Where do I have animosity? I was referring to jigsup's post where she mentioned exactly that. Link to comment
speak Posted February 22, 2009 Author Share Posted February 22, 2009 Where do I have animosity? I was referring to jigsup's post where she mentioned exactly that. I'm not sure. This was a thread about how men felt...not about arguing with another lady. Link to comment
shikashika Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 I'm not sure. This was a thread about how men felt...not about arguing with another lady. I think you missed the point. I was referring to jigsup's mention of her friend who had no interest in sex after she got married and just asked if you think it could happen to you or your partner. I don't think anyone expects this to happen..and also i think one may have unreasonable expectations of sex should they choose to wait. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 I'm not a man. And that seems to make a difference in many a minds - because I've noticed (just my experience) that many people tend to view male and female virginity in a different light. "waiting til marriage" also changes colours as these people who have chosen to wait get older. So for interests sakes, seeing posts of women in their 30s who have chosen to forsake a sexual life and relationships because she is waiting...and seeing that perspective, is much different than a very young woman who is just beginning to dip into the world of adult romance and relationships. In other words, it's easy when you are 19 to get behind an idea that may be working for you now.....but at 35, perspective and feelings about it may change. Also, I believe "waiting til marriage" mentality puts an emphasis on marriage that can lead to a pressure to marry - even when it is not right. Or for the sake of sex - - because honestly, the human sex drive crosses all beliefs and is a real thing. Whether one considers it in one light or another; it still is there and something must be done with it. Virginity is not important to me in the least in a partner, and I think the importance placed on it has actually caused more harm than good in the history of mankind and how that has played out. To be short, I think the importance placed on virginity of young women is a big power trip and it belongs in the past. I value commitment, treating sexuality with respect (your own and others), and many other things. I think it can be a very wise move for a woman - or man - to do all they can to make their first experience one that is in a context of love and respect. I do not believe in virginity being sacred. I believe the choice to become sexually active is a milestone in a person's life - and that person ideally will be developed enough on the important levels to be able to handle it (an adult) - but marriage is not a necessary part of that experience. I think that a woman who is remains concerned about how men in general view her choices regarding sexuality is not ready for sex. Period. Married or not. Neither is a man who is still overly concerned with the opinions of women. So to me it isn't about marriage or not - virginity or not - it's about where a person is at personally. I believe there have been many women and men through the ages and now who have very poor first sexual experiences - and those have been in marriages and outside of relationships in a good equal measure. Link to comment
melrich Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Also, I believe "waiting til marriage" mentality puts an emphasis on marriage that can lead to a pressure to marry - even when it is not right. I agree. I have two issues with "waiting until married". The quote above is the first issue. The second issue is "Why?". There just does not seem to me to be any good argument for it. Link to comment
BrunetteBarbie Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 i think you are already past that point.... I sure am.... why do I smell hostility in your post tho..? Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 I sure am.... why do I smell hostility in your post tho..? none at all.....you have my cyber respect as an ENA member Link to comment
BrunetteBarbie Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 none at all.....you have my cyber respect as an ENA member Okay... cool ... Link to comment
speak Posted February 23, 2009 Author Share Posted February 23, 2009 Well, I do believe virginity is sacred. My belief. Link to comment
melrich Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Well, I do believe virginity is sacred. In what sense? In what way does marriage alter the taking of it or otherwise? Link to comment
speak Posted February 23, 2009 Author Share Posted February 23, 2009 In what sense? In what way does marriage alter the taking of it or otherwise? I believe in the romantic sense of it. I believe that men will respect you more because of it and I believe that it is the safest birth control and that I will never have an unplanned pregnancy. Sex is for bonding - you bond with the man you spend your life with. I believe also, that deep inside men want their wives to be untouched and only for them. Link to comment
top bloke Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Well, I do believe virginity is sacred. My belief. I have a 16 yo daughter. I am proud of her but it would mean alot if my baby girl waited for her wedding night. If others want experience then i respect their views but for my family ..the little girl i brought into the world my preference is untouched. Link to comment
Luke Skywalker Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 I I would highly recomend you find a place like a church small group and hang around as long as possible and perhaps you'll find the right match for you. A church small group, or church could be no guarantee that it will be a good influence-- I believe that in most churches there is sex going on in a more clandestine sort of way. Some churches have reputations similar to nightclubs. However, you don't know the personal or private lifestyles of people who are going there and how serious they are, especially if they are in a position of authority there. Link to comment
Luke Skywalker Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Trust me, my faith in God is as strong as it's ever been. I've just never been one to blindly follow every written rule without critically thinking about it. This rule, I tried, and I've regretted adhering to it. It doesn't make sense to me anymore, having tried it and seeing its shortcomings. You faith in God is tested if you critically challenge God's rules. That means you are doubting the authority of the Bible in matters of sexuality. So, I'd have to ask faith in which God -- the God of the Bible, or your own god? If it is the God of the Bible, then you have to respect the rules. Link to comment
Luke Skywalker Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Well, I do believe virginity is sacred. My belief. If that value is important to you, then you better find a guy that also shares the same beliefs and who would appreciate that. Asking guys on here -- they'll all have various viewpoints - the view-point that matters is what you just said here. Link to comment
speak Posted February 23, 2009 Author Share Posted February 23, 2009 If that value is important to you, then you better find a guy that also shares the same beliefs and who would appreciate that. Asking guys on here -- they'll all have various viewpoints - the view-point that matters is what you just said here. Definitely. Link to comment
Clarity Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 You faith in God is tested if you critically challenge God's rules. That means you are doubting the authority of the Bible in matters of sexuality. So, I'd have to ask faith in which God -- the God of the Bible, or your own god? If it is the God of the Bible, then you have to respect the rules. Well I'm not a Christian, so there's goes that I don't want to get into a theological debate, but I'm not a fan of those who follow a religion's book (any religion) in a strict and literal fashion. Those who do seem to, at least from my perspective, bring more negativity to the world than positivity. I'll leave it at that. And Luke, I've read your other threads, please don't preach to me about living according to the Bible. Link to comment
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