weegee Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Hi I'm at uni and my girlfriends at college, its a good 5 hour train journey to see each other so we have been looking forward to the christmass holidays for a long to time. I have exams coming up when i get back to uni on the 11th and i thought it wouldn't be so bad given the work i had put in before i left so i thought that i could stay with girlfriend until four days before i needed to go back. but doing some revision last night i realised I'm gonna need top do a lot more work then i thought. Me and my girlfriend where supost to be heading back to hers ojn new years eve(we even brought the tickets) and today i told her i wont be coming dew to my work load. this didnt't do down well as a expected. She is suicidal and has gone very quite and wont even let me touch her arm. she has also started trying to get back onto her pro suicide forums again. i have no idea what to do i really want to go back to hers but if i do that i will fail my exams. Thanks for any help Link to comment
Silvery Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 pro suicide forum? wow, i didnt know such website exsist. Sounds to me she's very narrow minded and selfish, sure if i'm in her shoe i wouldnt be happy but i am understanding enough to not get too upset over it. You need to reassure her that you're concerned about your exam and its nothing because of her. Then again, i know she probably wouldnt listen to all this... Does she has a friend you can also make sure he/she keeps an eye on your gf? Link to comment
weegee Posted December 28, 2008 Author Share Posted December 28, 2008 nope there is no one. I'v worked it out so that i can spend new years with her which I'm happy about as it will be our first new years together. Hope she doesn't try anything, but there is no way to make sure. Link to comment
lemondust Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Hi Weegee, It's evident you care a great deal about your girlfriend, which is wonderful, however it sounds as if you're being held over an emotional knife-edge, which isn't fair to you either. It is easy in relationships to feel responsible for the ones we love and care for, ultimately though, we are responsible for ourselves. Link to comment
purpleJ Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 i didnt know there were suicide forums!! sounds like me when i was like 19 lol..although i wouldnt be suicidal but given the bf a hard time over it..she needs to grow up..she's being very unreasonable right now if that was the case for me i just be happy my bf tried to spend more time with me even though he had exams coming up..i be upset but try not to show it so he can go back and study guilt free Just try to inform anyone around her who could possibly keep an eye on her about this but not much more you can do Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 >>She is suicidal and has gone very quite and wont even let me touch her arm. she has also started trying to get back onto her pro suicide forums again. i have no idea what to do i really want to go back to hers but if i do that i will fail my exams. Really, this is so manipulative! She misses a few days with you and that means she should kill herself? Don't fall for this emotional blackmail. Tell her that if she's willing to kill herself over a few days with you, then she needs to spend those days not with you, but with a therapist or checked into the hospital for treatment of depression and suicidal tendencies. She's holding these threats over your head like an axe, and really, if she's so messed up mentally right now that she'd actually do it, she needs to be with a therapist or in the hospital, not with you. Tell her parents about this, and let them do something about it. Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Excuse me BeStrongBeHappy, but I am not using these as threats, I have been thinking about ending it for a long time. Sorry, but I had to chip in here, I hate people presuming I am trying to guilt weegee into coming back to mine. I had a nightmare a few weeks back about weegee deciding to not spend new year with me, and things just set of in my mind. and its not a few days, its a week. but hey. Link to comment
Shyguy24 Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Hey you do care about your Gf which is a good thing Why dont you sit down with her and talk to her or take her out for dinner or buy her flowers. I am sure she might be little down about you not being around on New years but if you show her you care , it may help to get her out of her state of mind. I dont think she is selfish or anything , because she is not in the right mental state of mind . Try comforting her and show patience with her. Link to comment
weegee Posted December 28, 2008 Author Share Posted December 28, 2008 parents wont do anything to help her. her mum flushes her meds cos she thinks it will make her worse. and her mums boyfriend is a major contributing factor to the depression. Well i took her out the night before i made this thread for a nice meal. And i have decided to go over to hers for new years, guess i will have to work a little bit harder when i get back. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 if missing one week with him makes you want to kill yourself, then you need to call a therapist right now. It is a small disappointment, and not the end of the world, and you need to get help to learn to put things into perspective. Please call a doctor today. Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Weegee and I do not spend much time together at all, and we wont see eachother again for a month. if not longer. My therapist has finished her shift now (uk time is 4:50). Oh I have things in perspective, anyway, if you want to descuss this with me, then this isnt the thread to do it in. I do not want to hijack this thread. Link to comment
lady00 Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Weegee and I do not spend much time together at all, and we wont see eachother again for a month. if not longer. My therapist has finished her shift now (uk time is 4:50). Oh I have things in perspective, anyway, if you want to descuss this with me, then this isnt the thread to do it in. I do not want to hijack this thread. Well, no, it's not hijacking the thread. It is very relevant to this thread that you are suicidal and it is going to affect your life and your relationship. Can you call another doctor? Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 No, because my mental health unit are closed. Link to comment
lady00 Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 No, because my mental health unit are closed. You can call a helpline then. I think you need to address this sooner rather than later because it isn't fair to hold that over your bf. It means that you are not addressing something that has a serious impact on your health. It's not fair to either of you. Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 I see my shrink on the 4th january. thats soon enough besides i have had a bad experience with help lines. Link to comment
elizabeth2008 Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 I'm really sorry in advance if this comes out rudely in any way... but I am wondering if it bothers you that he might fail a test or a class by extending his time with you? Link to comment
JadedStar Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 I see my shrink on the 4th january. thats soon enough besides i have had a bad experience with help lines. no, if you want to kill yourself over him going back to school a few days earlier jan 4th isn't going to cut it. You need to call a hotline now. A bad experience doesn't mean all of them are bad. It is wrong to do him like this. If you are this fragile a relationship should not be in the forefront of your mind. You are not equipped to deal with one right now. Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 I'm really sorry in advance if this comes out rudely in any way... but I am wondering if it bothers you that he might fail a test or a class by extending his time with you? As I have already stated! IT WILL BE MY FAULT IF HE FAILS. dont try and make me feel guilty. cheers. no, if you want to kill yourself over him going back to school a few days earlier jan 4th isn't going to cut it. You need to call a hotline now. A bad experience doesn't mean all of them are bad. It is wrong to do him like this. If you are this fragile a relationship should not be in the forefront of your mind. You are not equipped to deal with one right now. OMG, how pathetic do u think i am? Because I dont get to see my boyfriend for a few more days i want to die? NO. There are so many reasons, and this is not one of them. weegee just saw me looking at the suicide website. does not mean i am going to because he wont come down. I see my therapist on the 4th, weegee is with me until then so all is fine. and suicide hot lines are bs. they dont help. Link to comment
Silvery Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 i'm sorry you're going through such distress, it is obvious that you have too much on your plate to deal with right now. I'm glad you'd decided to let your beloved go and try to focus on the more positive matters in your life, even if it doesnt have one, create something you'll get so busy with you dont have time to think about depressive matters. good luck in dealing with your emotions and pray that you'll be a much happier person soon. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 As I have already stated! IT WILL BE MY FAULT IF HE FAILS. dont try and make me feel guilty. cheers. OMG, how pathetic do u think i am? Because I dont get to see my boyfriend for a few more days i want to die? NO. There are so many reasons, and this is not one of them. weegee just saw me looking at the suicide website. does not mean i am going to because he wont come down. I see my therapist on the 4th, weegee is with me until then so all is fine. and suicide hot lines are bs. they dont help. I am only responding to what i read ... I do think that a relationship is not the best thing for you right now. It seems you are too volatile and weegee is going to feel like he is on eggshells trying to keep you from harming yourself. That is pretty big of a responsiblity for him IMO. I think your number one focus should be on your mental health right now, but that is just my opinion. I am glad you have that appt on the 4th. Link to comment
SoMuchLove Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 She needs to see a therapist. My sis in law is like that. One day they got in an argument and she swollowed some pills so she had to go to the hospital. She's very clingy and co-dependant. If your girl is like that and you don't like it it may be time to move on. Sure you have feelings, but would(if it ever came up) you ever want to spend the rest of your life with someone who threatens to hurt themself when they don't get the attention they want? It also sounds manipulative and controlling and insensitive. Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 She needs to see a therapist. My sis in law is like that. One day they got in an argument and she swollowed some pills so she had to go to the hospital. She's very clingy and co-dependant. If your girl is like that and you don't like it it may be time to move on. Sure you have feelings, but would(if it ever came up) you ever want to spend the rest of your life with someone who threatens to hurt themself when they don't get the attention they want? It also sounds manipulative and controlling and insensitive. I do see a therapist, well my care-co ordinator and my shrink, and i am on the waiting list for a therapist, both me and weegee know I am completally unreasonable at times, which is the main problem, and I need to learn to get past that, problem is, I cant stop myself from being unreasonable! I know when I am being so, yet i continue, and I don't understand that. I must admit I am rather dependant on weegee, and kind of clingy. And This I need help with. I don't mean to be manipulative or controlling, and I have been called that before, but I do not controll or manipulate perpously. Link to comment
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