Girlfriend's teasing is bugging me...

[Seymore]

Good point. She's been subtly pointing out christmas sales on rings, but I have debts to pay off first and so does she, which she understands. But every so often when we go to the mall, nothing puts a smile on her face more than when I go with her so she can look at rings.

[amtjrtcet]

I'd be pissed. Thats the kinda stuff that sends people out looking for an affair.....She's not being fair.

[Taomagicdragon]

I think honestly she's just quirky, I know a girl very similar to your girlfriend and when I talked with her about it (she was telling me about her b/f, same situation you are in) she told me that she'd feel a bit of a "deer in the headlights" look similar to the "buying the cow, milk for free" quandary that would make her pause and then retreat, similar to a fight or flight response (in this case flight).

[lady00]

Good point. She's been subtly pointing out christmas sales on rings, but I have debts to pay off first and so does she, which she understands. But every so often when we go to the mall, nothing puts a smile on her face more than when I go with her so she can look at rings.

 

 

Hmm...I don't know...do people do that when they aren't going to actually get it for a while? Isn't that teasing?

[Seymore]

Hmm...I don't know...do people do that when they aren't going to actually get it for a while? Isn't that teasing?

 

Touche. You got me there. In a way she teases herself, though. She asks if we can look for rings.

 

She IS quirky. No doubt about that. And I'd never cheat. I know what that feels like and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Not that the teasing thing is ok, because the flat-out asking if I want to have sex and turning away was wrong, no question. But her occasionally flashing me...I dunno...we need to sit down and come to a resolution. I don't want her to feel like she can't be herself around me, but at the same time I need to set boundaries.

[ghost69]

this girl sounds like she is slowly training you.

[DN]

I would not advise entering into any sort of promise to marry, especially not spending money on a ring, until this relationship is on a proper and balanced footing.

[ponyboy]

The thing is - it's confusing. I'm not even sure if she's playing power games or disrespecting me intentionally or what. Today, even though she was going to be late to work, she brushed the snow off my car for me. About a week ago, she bought me clothes just because she was thinking about me. And I mean - they were nice clothes, like she actually knew what I liked...not like she was trying to play dress-up with me.

 

She does all sorts of little things like that, that make me believe she cares, and then once in a while she'll do something like tease me. It's not like she's selfish, she does do things to show she's thinking of me and got my interests in mind, and that makes it even more confusing. Does she mean to do it or not?

 

I don't know...

 

She seems like a keeper to me, i think you just need to chill and not worry or stress so much and be grateful that you have a beautiful girl in your life that cares about you, so many people in this world would kill to be in your shoes. Just relax, theres people in a lot worse situations than you. Take it easy and enjoy.

Maybe even kill her with kindness

[orangetemple]

she sounds really immature. I was annoyed just by reading your first post. You sound like a nice guy, and this girl sounds like a pain in the a......

[mr_iwi]

Next time you are having sex, just put it in the back door without warning. When she complains just say "Sorry dear, our sex drives are just different."

 

All joking aside, I agree with a lot of other posters: she only seems to be happy playing by her own rules, but you won't have a successful relationship until you both use the same rulebook. It's up to you to see whether that is possible with her, or whether you'll need to look elsewhere.