NoLies_JustLove Posted November 28, 2008 Share Posted November 28, 2008 okay so i really havent been on here in awhile and i wish i could explain in detail everything that has changed but its just way to much to type. basically, my problem now is that the only guy that i have found that has even been able to take my mind away from my ex boyfriend and past relationship is turning out to be quite a scum bag as well. my last relationship wasn't very successful due to how unstable and indecisive he was, now ive found someone new who in the beginning was the one chasing me. i never wanted to pursue anything with this new guy because i was so stuck on my ex. now that i know him better im starting to see how much i have fallen for him and how easily he takes my mind off of my ex boyfriend. only problem is he wants nothing to do with me in that aspect anymore, infact he seems to think he can manipulate me into doing anything in his favor. i know he has alot to keep up with and doesnt exactly want a girlfriend at the moment, but i dont unnderstand why he has to say certain things in front of his friends to make them think he has total control over me. i really dont know what to do now because im starting to like him wayyy to much, but i refuse to be anybody's doormat. any suggestions on what i should do ? Link to comment
waveseer Posted November 28, 2008 Share Posted November 28, 2008 Let him know you don't appreciate it when he acts that way. Use his response as a guide. Link to comment
NoLies_JustLove Posted November 28, 2008 Author Share Posted November 28, 2008 Let him know you don't appreciate it when he acts that way. Use his response as a guide. he seems to be more sociable when hes drinking. and often he will seem more affectionate towards me. he knows i like him, so he feels he has control. i dont know if it would be a good idea to try and make everyone believe that i have lost interest in hopes that things wont be so awkward around us and maybe he will regain interest like in the beginning? Link to comment
waveseer Posted November 28, 2008 Share Posted November 28, 2008 he seems to be more sociable when hes drinking. and often he will seem more affectionate towards me. he knows i like him, so he feels he has control. i dont know if it would be a good idea to try and make everyone believe that i have lost interest in hopes that things wont be so awkward around us and maybe he will regain interest like in the beginning? I didn't understand what you were saying here. Link to comment
NoLies_JustLove Posted November 28, 2008 Author Share Posted November 28, 2008 he knows i like him, so he pushes away more. i just want things to go back to the way they were in the beginning where he wanted me just as bad as i want him now. Link to comment
waveseer Posted November 28, 2008 Share Posted November 28, 2008 he knows i like him, so he pushes away more. i just want things to go back to the way they were in the beginning where he wanted me just as bad as i want him now. Well, you can try backing off some to see if he steps up but it can backfire and cause him to lose interest. Link to comment
NoLies_JustLove Posted November 28, 2008 Author Share Posted November 28, 2008 thats exactly what im afriad of. i dont know what my next move should be. as long as he knows how much i like him, he feels he has all control. and if i back off completely, he might not even care. its just kinda of hard to believe that its the same person who treated me like gold a couple of months ago. Link to comment
waveseer Posted November 28, 2008 Share Posted November 28, 2008 It happens. Try backing off just a little bit at a time. Personally, I can't stand these kind of games but it might work. Link to comment
NoLies_JustLove Posted November 28, 2008 Author Share Posted November 28, 2008 i've tryed not to be always right next to him, i dont force anything. but i do send him a text every now and then just so i havent totally backed out of his life. he always answers my texts even if its a one-word answer. i just want him to see that although i have more feelings for him then i'd like to admidt, im still not going to be a doormat for him. Link to comment
waveseer Posted November 28, 2008 Share Posted November 28, 2008 Maybe it's time to take another teeny step back. Link to comment
cruzer Posted November 28, 2008 Share Posted November 28, 2008 thats exactly what im afriad of. i dont know what my next move should be. as long as he knows how much i like him, he feels he has all control. and if i back off completely, he might not even care. its just kinda of hard to believe that its the same person who treated me like gold a couple of months ago. So which do u want, do u want to continue to be controlled? Apparently not, because ur here asking for help. If he does not even care that ur not around anymore, then that shows exactly that. he does not care about you, and it would be best ur no longer with him. maybe im wrong but seems kinda obvious as to what u should try. of course u do not want to lose him, but if he will let u go so easily then its probably for the best. Link to comment
NoLies_JustLove Posted November 30, 2008 Author Share Posted November 30, 2008 Maybe it's time to take another teeny step back. maybe so, its just so incredibly hard. as bad as it sounds sometimes i just feel like throwing myself at him, and although i know thats only gonna make things worse for my situation i still come close to doing just that. like tonight , he drove me home , and when i hugged him goodbye i held on as if i were expecting more. i dont know what to do. :sad: Link to comment
NoLies_JustLove Posted November 30, 2008 Author Share Posted November 30, 2008 So which do u want, do u want to continue to be controlled? Apparently not, because ur here asking for help. If he does not even care that ur not around anymore, then that shows exactly that. he does not care about you, and it would be best ur no longer with him. maybe im wrong but seems kinda obvious as to what u should try. of course u do not want to lose him, but if he will let u go so easily then its probably for the best. im not being controlled, but he seems to think that he has control over me because he knows i like him so much. were not dating, but we were talking for awhile, when his feelings for me were strong i didnt care because i was so stuck on my ex and now that my feelings have progressed so much it seems his have completely diminished. it hurts and i keep falling more and more, i regret pushing him away when i had him so close. i just feel like its all falling apart. Link to comment
Rosee Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 When you weren't interested it was a big challenge to him, now he knows he's 'got' you, he's lost interest it seems. You said he was manipulative and a scumbag. Do you want to be with someone that would treat you disrespectfully? I'm sure he's got his good points but it would be a mistake to rely on how he used to act, as it seems like it was just an act from what you've said. I think you need to let him go. Link to comment
NoLies_JustLove Posted November 30, 2008 Author Share Posted November 30, 2008 When you weren't interested it was a big challenge to him, now he knows he's 'got' you, he's lost interest it seems. You said he was manipulative and a scumbag. Do you want to be with someone that would treat you disrespectfully? I'm sure he's got his good points but it would be a mistake to rely on how he used to act, as it seems like it was just an act from what you've said. I think you need to let him go. Well i flirted with him and such but i was never as attached to him as he seemed he was to me. so little by little he seemed to lose interest and the more i was around him the harder i saw myself falling for him. now im here and i feel like im getting nowhere at all. im so confused on how to act around him because if im to clingy and show feelings he will get pushed away and if i back away then we will just drift further apart. how do you become close with someone and be comfortable talking to them without worrying about being annoying or clingy again? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted December 1, 2008 Share Posted December 1, 2008 why not find a guy with more clear signals? Link to comment
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