Lol.... Hmmmm

[ImThatGirl]

^^ Whew hooo! I bet it looks great! Thanks for sharing... All of that gets me in the mood to make some changes at my apt!

 

Doesn't it feel so different too?

[Aviatormy]

^^ Whew hooo! I bet it looks great! Thanks for sharing... All of that gets me in the mood to make some changes at my apt!

 

Doesn't it feel so different too?

 

 

Yes it does! I love it!.

 

I think that is the only reason why I didn't end up moving. I had far too many memories of my ex gf so now that EVERYTHING looks different... I don't have as many memories.

 

I am obtaining PLENTY of new memories with this new girl there. I am so happy that she is not rushing anything with me. She gives me a lot of time to myself when I ask for it.

 

So far, so good!

 

She is also going to church with me tomorrow and that makes me happy because that is a VERY important part of my life. My ex would say that she will go with me but never seemed happy about it.

 

I feel like my life has made a complete 180 for the better

[ImThatGirl]

^^ That is great Avi! But beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee careful! I'm concerned about you. It is good to feel confident and positive about things. But you are putting accross this vibe that everything is perfect and I think you block things out. I think you block emotions out - you cover them up - you replace them with others.....

 

As far as changing everything. Decontamination is what I called it. When my ex and I ended things - I painted and cleaned and rearranged... My apt just felt so contaminated by him. I wanted that feeling to be gone!

[ghost69]

hmmm, i'm a bit concerned. i'm glad you are over the ex, but i think you are moving a bit fast with this girl.

[Ac143]

Im agree with ITG and Ghost - just take things slow. You are doing the happy dance and its only been like a month since you were engaged. I know we all been over this, some take only a day to move on, some take months, years etc...lol

 

You say you guys are taking it slow, but redoing your whole apt together and going to church with someone that you started seeing a week ago - doesn't seem slow to me.

 

Sorry dont want to be a downer, if you are happy, you are happy and that's great. Just proceed with caution.

[ghost69]

and don't even say your family will be at church tomorrow.

[ImThatGirl]

Clarification question:

 

Did your parents meet this girl while redoing your apt this weekend?

[Aviatormy]

Lol. Ghost, of all people, I would have thought that you would understand. I AM taking things slow. Hence why I said

I am obtaining PLENTY of new memories with this new girl there. I am so happy that she is not rushing anything with me. She gives me a lot of time to myself when I ask for it.

 

We are not rushing things. I do not see how going to church together is rushing thigs at all. And it is not like SHE made choices on how to rearrange my apartment. She just helped paint my table. Everything in my apartment scream "AVI!" lol.

 

We have been spending a lot of time together but its not like we are in a committed relationship. We are just going through that "Hmmm this person is fun to hang out with" phase.

 

No worries everyone... I am not getting married tomorrow! lol

 

I really do not wish to take this thread where it was before. I am doing great, I am happy with MY life again, I am not living through this girl nor is she living and breathing through me. We are just two kids having a great time. Nothing wrong with that at all.

 

I am not hiding my feelings of my ex either. Like I said before, I am just detaching from her day by day. Each day that passes, a new thought of how unhappy I actually was comes to mind. I will honestly say that I was too blinded by the good times I had with my ex to realize how crazy she made me.

 

I don't feel this way anymore, I feel free and single. I love my life right now and all of this so called "strength" I have as far as healing is coming from my faith. I know that my life and my destiny are in the hands of a much higher person and I am just taking it a day at a time.

 

Thanks for the concern though!

[ghost69]

infatuation at this point.

 

i'm not bashing you man. i'm just saying. you are doing a lot of your weekly things more. church, etc. you are involving her in a lot of your daily life things. i never do that with a girl until at least a month into dating. and that's 2-3 times a week interaction.

[Aviatormy]

Clarification question:

 

Did your parents meet this girl while redoing your apt this weekend?

 

Yes they did. I didn't look at it like "oh now you get to meet the parents". I just look at it as a friend meeting my mother and stepfather. No big deal to me. It's not like I was "hey mom, you have to meet my new GF!!!! She is AMAZING!" lol

 

She and I are not a label, title or item right now.

 

Wow... I never thought that ENAers could look into things so much. I have not once said anything that would suggest that I am all infatuated with this new girl. I am just simply stating that I am happy that she shares the same beliefs as me and that she is definitely fun to be with... IN and OUT of the sheets.

[ImThatGirl]

But it is all so much and so fast forward Avi! And dude - you know you are the first to call things as you see them around here.

 

I am 100% positive that the way you are handling things are far too quickly. You seem to be in an adrenaline rush of "everything is great!!!"

 

I just think that when one does this, it is more likely that one gets into the situation that you did with your ex. You want everything to be all glam and glitz and great and fall into place - seeking reason for things to not have worked with ex also. And Alas! After a few days you found your answer! You know? Following me? You will miss things, Avi. And possibly repeat prior mistakes.

 

As far as the parents go - I get that. I have alot of people that are introduced as "friends." But I can guarantee you that if you are putting off the same energy to them as you are here, they are all holding their breath and hoping that this really does work out and fearing that you will have much difficulty if you are "let down" again so soon...

[ghost69]

not saying one way or the other avi. i just see church as a personal life thing you use to worship or whatever, confess sins and such and you are taking her. it's like you are inviting her into your life as a whole instead of dating her first to see if she is good enough to fully bring in. again, i'm happy for you, but it's just some things i'm seeing.

[Aviatormy]

infatuation at this point.

 

I would not go as far as to say that I am infatuated with her.

 

i'm not bashing you man.

 

I know

 

i'm just saying. you are doing a lot of your weekly things more. church, etc. you are involving her in a lot of your daily life things.

 

Yeah but to each their own. I have stopped drinking and I don't have any friends at this time that would like to go to church with me. I still go to the Gym on my own and I have movie nights with 3 of the most entertaining people in my life on a regular basis... Me, myself and I.

 

i never do that with a girl until at least a month into dating. and that's 2-3 times a week interaction

 

To each their own. I am not like you in that aspect. I just go with the flow. If I have something that I wish to do on my own, I make it clear that I don't want anyone around.

 

If it is something that I like doing with others (I.E. sex and church), weird combination I know! lol, I will invite someone that has that same interest to do it with me.

 

No worries my friends. I know what I am doing.

[ghost69]

i don't mean infatuation as in obsession. i mean more like a fling type. it just feels good to have an incredible person around. i know the feeling. you just want to spend time with them and have a good time. i get that.

 

i dunno, i see church as a completely different thing than the gym. i wouldn't invite a gf to the gym until, shoot, 6 months or something after dating/being exclusive.

[Aviatormy]

Wow... I am done with this thread. You guys are looking WAYYYYYYY too much into this.

 

I am happy. Happy means that I am over my grieving phase and moving on with my life.

 

It does not mean that my happiness is found through a new girl.

 

I am done with ENA. Too bad I didn't make platinum lol.

[Ac143]

Well you kids have fun then lol. Enjoy what you are doing just dont get crazy head over heels in less then a month - is all Im saying. It took you close to a year to realize what kind of person your ex is/was, just remember that. So knowing someone for a week is nothing but fun & games.

 

Enjoy the dating scene - its full of fun & surprises lol

[Mythical_Suicide]

Um Glad you are happy..

 

But leaving over this?

 

Ok, Have fun.

[Ac143]

Cmon Avi - its NOT that seriously lol. We are giving you advice like we & you give everyone else. To each their own - like you said. Dont get all bent out of shape over this.

[ghost69]

it's just some insight man. please don't leave.

[ImThatGirl]

Wow... I am done with this thread. You guys are looking WAYYYYYYY too much into this.

 

I am happy. Happy means that I am over my grieving phase and moving on with my life.

 

It does not mean that my happiness is found through a new girl.

 

I am done with ENA. Too bad I didn't make platinum lol.

 

I truly hope you don't go. And I'm sad to see that you aren't willing to realize that we are really looking out for you.

 

Avi - I don't want you to repeat the relationship that just ended. You claimed that you found out many things just at the end of the relationship and those things ruined the relationship. That happens when you jump into relationships quickly......

[lady00]

Avi, you're really going to leave ENA just because people are saying (sensible) things that you don't want to hear? I mean, I'm all for you being happy. That's awesome! No one is saying that they don't want you to be happy. People are just expressing their concerns on the speed with which you are moving. That's all. You don't seem like the type of person who would leave a community because some people are giving you some words of caution. You seem like the type that will take things under advisement but still do your own thing. Frankly, I'm quite surprised. I hope you don't leave. Anyway, just saying...people are putting some words of caution out there based on the fact that it's been about a month or so since your breakup with your fiancee (which most people think means you were prepared and intending on spending the rest of your life with the person--though I understand you may have a different definition/different views on engagement--just trying to guess at what people may be thinking). I'm sure you can see where they are coming from--what would you tell a friend who had been through something similar?

[Aviatormy]

I'm sure you can see where they are coming from--what would you tell a friend who had been through something similar?

 

 

I would tell them the exact same things that have been said to me. The only differece is, I would stop saying it over and over and over again. I would trust that my "friend" heard me the first time and will make the best decision and effort to not let that happen to him/her again.

 

Once I said "I think you are rushing things" and he/she said "thank you for your concern but I am positive that I am not".... I would say best of luck and I wish you the best.

[ghost69]

I would tell them the exact same things that have been said to me. The only differece is, I would stop saying it over and over and over again. I would trust that my "friend" heard me the first time and will make the best decision and effort to not let that happen to him/her again.

 

Once I said "I think you are rushing things" and he/she said "thank you for your concern but I am positive that I am not".... I would say best of luck and I wish you the best.

 

we did man. it just happened to be more than one person that said it. i never once said to slow down you don't know what you are doing. i was just saying to watch out for it. i'm 100% happy for ya man.

[lady00]

I think that is what people are doing, Avi. They are also responding to new details that you are posting from time to time (such as going to church together). So it's not like people are trying to beat you over the head with the same thing over and over again, IMO. Sure, people may be overreacting. They don't know you. They may be overly cautious. They may be flat-out wrong. It sounds like people are really hitting a nerve...I'm just not sure I get why.

[In Limbo]

Aviatormy

I am really happy for you! I know you know whats best and whats right for you and others.With all sincerity i say that i really want you to continue on this forum .

I think there are people here who would benefit from your insights & opinions.I hope you will change your mind buddy..WISH YOU ALL THE BEST !