SapphireNoir10 Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 My boyfriend is so stupidly unreliable. We were supposed to see eachother yday after he finished work at 3pm wasnt here till 6pm, not long ago he stood me up for dinner and today he was supposed to be over at like 1pm and now i can't get through to him on his phone and he hasnt showed up. Hes so nice when were together hes just so unreliable Link to comment
metrogirl Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 My boyfriend is so stupidly unreliable. We were supposed to see eachother yday after he finished work at 3pm wasnt here till 6pm, not long ago he stood me up for dinner and today he was supposed to be over at like 1pm and now i can't get through to him on his phone and he hasnt showed up. Hes so nice when were together hes just so unreliable Does he have valid reasons why he stands you up or is he just doing it out of lack of respect? Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted November 12, 2008 Author Share Posted November 12, 2008 Yesterday it was because he just took more time than he thought he would :S eh what sort of excuse is that? Last time no valid reason and this time no reason. Hes always hours later than he says. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 that would piss me off to the point of breaking up with him if it kept up. That's so rude and completely disrespectful. He's basically acting like his time is more important than yours. What does he say when this happens? What do you say? Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted November 12, 2008 Author Share Posted November 12, 2008 He just says sorry. Never gives me a good reason, he'll be like we'll spend the day together or I got the afternoon off and then still I dont see or ehre from him until like 6pm...I dont get it Link to comment
metrogirl Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 Yesterday it was because he just took more time than he thought he would :S eh what sort of excuse is that? Last time no valid reason and this time no reason. Hes always hours later than he says. That's not to cool......Not very respectful. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted November 12, 2008 Author Share Posted November 12, 2008 I dont know what to do or say. I cant now cos he hasnt answered my texts or picking up his phone Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 He just says sorry. Never gives me a good reason, he'll be like we'll spend the day together or I got the afternoon off and then still I dont see or ehre from him until like 6pm...I dont get it That is extremely rude and inconsiderate. But, does he know how much it bothers you, or does he think it's just not a big deal? Link to comment
kenshinkitten Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 That is extremely rude and inconsiderate. But, does he know how much it bothers you, or does he think it's just not a big deal? Yeah if he is just doing it without knowing it upsets you that is one thing but if he knows then that boy needs to be in some major trouble. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted November 12, 2008 Author Share Posted November 12, 2008 No I said to him before. the other night he said he'd pick me up from work when I called. I called, he didnt pick up, he eventually called backa nd was an hour late picking me up. I told him it upsets me when he says one thing and does another and he said he wouldnt do it and now he has Link to comment
crosstownTraffic Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 well, he may not trying to be disrespectful.. he's just raelly bad at time management Lots of ppl are like this. Have u talked to him about it? Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted November 12, 2008 Author Share Posted November 12, 2008 Yes I have. I've told him it upsets me and promises he'll be better at it saying he has the afternoon off and really wants to see me then not showing up. What the hell? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 he should contact you if he is running late. especially 3 hours late. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 He's showing you very clearly that he thinks his time (and his latest whim) is much more important than you are. He doesn't care that you are sitting around worried and waiting for him, or he'd stop this. So the answer is to stop waiting for him. Decide how long you will wait (15 minutes or half hour max), and if he doesn't show, don't call him, don't text, don't do anything but leave and don't be there when he comes around. And if he tries to show up and you are at home, tell him he didn't show on time, so you're not letting him in. He's allowed to see you when he treats you with respect, otherwise you have better things to do than wait around for him (and show him this by just stopping being available when he is late or doesn't show). He'll either start showing up on time, or else you'll realize you don't mean all that much to him if he's always got better things to do than you. Link to comment
Ac143 Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 Yea I dont care how bad you are with "time management" being 3hrs late or even an hour and not calling to let you know is just disrespectful or ignoring her calls and texts? What is he doing that he cant pick up?. Especially if he never has a good reason. If this is happening all the time, there is something going on. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted November 12, 2008 Author Share Posted November 12, 2008 Thank you bestrongbehappy. Its so tough. Its like my ex all over again. One or two tiems is forgivable. Yesterday we planned our day off together then he said he needed to pop into work for an hour. I didnt see him till 6pm. Today he says he has the afternoon off and will see me at about 1pm it is now twenty past four. He stood me up at a family meal. He pciks me up late. He never shows up on time.. It just hurts. Im worried about him now even though I know its probably a case of him just not showing up. Link to comment
kenshinkitten Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 No I said to him before. the other night he said he'd pick me up from work when I called. I called, he didnt pick up, he eventually called backa nd was an hour late picking me up. I told him it upsets me when he says one thing and does another and he said he wouldnt do it and now he has Talk to him about it again. He was late picking you up? I hope you don't work in a shady neighborhood...that could be dangerous. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted November 12, 2008 Author Share Posted November 12, 2008 He jsut called me and said work ran over. And I was like why couldnt you call or text and he was like. Sorry, no excuse, thats all he could say. I said why do you keep doing this and he just didnt know. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 How can he not know? He's the one doing it! This is not out of his control, and a clear choice on his part to disregard your feelings. I think at this point you just need to quit waiting around for him, and be less available to him, and not available at all whenever he runs really late and doesn't contact you to tell you what is going on. Link to comment
shes2smart Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 So the answer is to stop waiting for him. Decide how long you will wait (15 minutes or half hour max), and if he doesn't show, don't call him, don't text, don't do anything but leave and don't be there when he comes around. And if he tries to show up and you are at home, tell him he didn't show on time, so you're not letting him in. I also agree with this. Right now there are no consequences to his late/MIA behavior because you're there waiting for him. If you had agreed to meet for dinner at 6 and it gets to be 6:20-6:30 and he hasn't shown up or called, go get your own dinner. That way when he does show up you 1. may not be around and 2. he has to figure out his own dinner since you'll have already eaten. Consequences for the behavior can make a bigger impact than asking him to stop it. If you were his employer, and he consistantly showed up late, there would be consequences -- his pay would be docked or he'd be written up or (eventually) fired. Come to think of it, does he get to his job on time? If he can do that, he's got the skills to get to planned events with you, too. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted November 12, 2008 Author Share Posted November 12, 2008 Im just sat here crying cos Im sick of being let down time and time again. WHy am I alweays the person that gets let down>? he wasnt apologetic or anyhting just like 'oh well'# Link to comment
Ac143 Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 I think you need to be more vocal about this issue, this is a big problem. You keep letting him do this, that's why he continues to do it. After he tells you he doesn't know why he's late again what do you say? I personally wouldnt let anyone treat me like this time and time again. Its one thing if it happened once or twice but with him its constantly. Are you ok with this? Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted November 12, 2008 Author Share Posted November 12, 2008 no im not ok with it it at all. Im sick of it. Everyone just walks all over me when I give the best to them. Its so many time sits not even funny. Why couldnt he text or call it doesnt even make sense and hes not even sorry. Yeah he gets to work on time. Link to comment
shes2smart Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 Im just sat here crying cos Im sick of being let down time and time again. WHy am I alweays the person that gets let down>? he wasnt apologetic or anyhting just like 'oh well'# Other than talking to him about it what are you DOING about it? If you take action you start to take control of the situation. If you start to take control of the situation, you don't feel like a victim. I used to have a real flaky friend who'd cancel last minute or not show about 75% of the time you made plans with her. For a while, I'd always get upset about it. Then, I realized she was a complete flake. So when I'd make plans with her, I just knew there was a good chance she wasn't going to show or she'd cancel. I didn't expect her to follow through, so when she didn't it wasn't a disappointment and when she did it was a pleasant surprise. Eventually, though, I stopped making any plans with her altogether because I thought I deserved to be treated better than that. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted November 12, 2008 Author Share Posted November 12, 2008 I know its just hes so nice when were together. But in THREE months hes let me down so many times, being late, or not showing at all, changing plans, picking me up late, not texting or calling. I know I need to take control im just upset b ecause I ekep being let down. Link to comment
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