Girl79 Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 say you found the person who you are very compatible with. you both get along great, and everything is just flowing smoothly. you get married, life's good. all of a sudden something happens, and your husband is paralyzed from waist below. what would you do then? I'd stay. But honestly don't know 100 percent what I would do until it actually happened. Link to comment
Girl79 Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 I agree with Crazyaboutdogs though, Bronzedskin you really do need to figure out what your problem is with penetration because you are going to miss out on the most intense possible connection between 2 people, and I doubt any guy is going to want to be with you and never have sex with you, because you "dont like it". Link to comment
BronzedSkin123 Posted November 3, 2008 Author Share Posted November 3, 2008 People have sex because it feels good. If it doesn't feel good then I don't see the point in doing it. Link to comment
afrodite79 Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 I couldn't. I had an ex who started off saying he wanted to wait. I thought it was nice that he was being a gentleman. After about 3 months it wasn't cute anymore. Turns out he had issues with sex and we didn't have intercourse until 4 months in. We did other stuff in the mean time but it just wasn't the same especially because he barely even wanted to do that. I don't ever want that in a relationship again. I don't know how guys feel about it. There are probably some (like my ex) who would be fine without intercourse. Link to comment
afrodite79 Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 People have sex because it feels good. If it doesn't feel good then I don't see the point in doing it. So it's just that you've never had pleasure with intercourse. Is it painful for you? Link to comment
BronzedSkin123 Posted November 3, 2008 Author Share Posted November 3, 2008 So it's just that you've never had pleasure with intercourse. Is it painful for you? During entry it's painful. Then once it's in there it feels like somebody is pressing on my internal organs..it's not very pleasant. I don't get any of the sexual gratification other women seem to get from it. So after sex, I am dissappointed and very depressed. I'd rather not do it to avoid feeling that way Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 Could you stay in a long term relationship with a partner that involved oral sex, masterbation and fingering? No penis in vagina contact at all. Or anal. sure the possibility is there for some people but i know i couldnt. Too tempting in the heat of the moment. Sex IMO is very important to share one anothers feelings and love towards one another. Is this your first time? Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 If I remember correctly from your posts way back you weren't exactly in a loving, secure relationship when you had the sexual experiences...perhaps that is part of the problem. I would bet that once you find yourself in love with someone and he in love with you, the rest will fall into place and you will be very wrapped up in the moment of feeling this ultimate connection that it will be an enjoyable experience for you. Link to comment
Ac143 Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 During entry it's painful. Then once it's in there it feels like somebody is pressing on my internal organs..it's not very pleasant. I don't get any of the sexual gratification other women seem to get from it. So after sex, I am dissappointed and very depressed. I'd rather not do it to avoid feeling that way Are you excited at all before having sex? It might be painful because you aren't in "the mood" They say that women need to mentally be excited as well about sex before having it. So you already having that in your head before even having sex will make it impossible to enjoy. I think it's all in your mind but I could be wrong. You might need to 1. - find a partner that knows how to please you and excites you 2. dont be afraid of sex and if you done both of these and still nothing - see a doctor. Im sorry you are going thru this, it must be tough but sex can be a beautiful thing, if you let it. Link to comment
BronzedSkin123 Posted November 3, 2008 Author Share Posted November 3, 2008 If I remember correctly from your posts way back you weren't exactly in a loving, secure relationship when you had the sexual experiences...perhaps that is part of the problem. I would bet that once you find yourself in love with someone and he in love with you, the rest will fall into place and you will be very wrapped up in the moment of feeling this ultimate connection that it will be an enjoyable experience for you. No, I have never been in a loving relationship. But I have experimented with dildos and I don't feel any pleasure. Whether you are in love or not, I should have some kind of sexual response to penetration Are you excited at all before having sex? It might be painful because you aren't in "the mood" They say that women need to mentally be excited as well about sex before having it. So you already having that in your head before even having sex will make it impossible to enjoy. I think it's all in your mind but I could be wrong. You might need to 1. - find a partner that knows how to please you and excites you 2. dont be afraid of sex and if you done both of these and still nothing - see a doctor. Im sorry you are going thru this, it must be tough but sex can be a beautiful thing, if you let it. I masterbated for like an hour before inserting my dildo and it still was painful during entry. I used to be up all night long experimenting and hoping to find a spot in my vagina that will excite me and NOTHING. I usually result to clitoral stimulation. It's even worse with a guy than by myself though. I just get lost and don't really feel apart of the act. Link to comment
Ac143 Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 No, I have never been in a loving relationship. But I have experimented with dildos and I don't feel any pleasure. Whether you are in love or not, I should have some kind of sexual response to penetration That's not true, I dont get crazy about penetration alone.....I actually dont like it unless Im with someone I love. The dildo thing, does nothing for me... Link to comment
Seraphim Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 There is an actual physical condition that makes it painful maybe discuss it with your dr. Link to comment
BronzedSkin123 Posted November 3, 2008 Author Share Posted November 3, 2008 Once it's in there it's not really painful unless he is going fast. As long as he goes slow it's fine. It's just the lack of pleasure that I have a problem with. Other women say how great it feels to have a penis sliding up and down and against their vaginal walls and I am not feeling that. It's unsatisfying. When I have sex I want to get as much out of it as everyone else Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 Once it's in there it's not really painful unless he is going fast. As long as he goes slow it's fine. It's just the lack of pleasure that I have a problem with. Other women say how great it feels to have a penis sliding up and down and against their vaginal walls and I am not feeling that. It's unsatisfying. When I have sex I want to get as much out of it as everyone else There are some women who feel sexual pleasure with any man even if they are not in love with them...hence FWBs and one night stands. There are some women who only feel sexual pleasure with a man they are truly in love with. It sounds like you fall into the latter category. You are forcing yourself to try to enjoy something you think you should enjoy based on today's societal norms...penetration for the sake of pure physical gratification. But it sounds like you are not wired that way. Like I said before, wait until you are in a mutually loving relationship...then you will probably enjoy penetration. Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 Once it's in there it's not really painful unless he is going fast. As long as he goes slow it's fine. It's just the lack of pleasure that I have a problem with. Other women say how great it feels to have a penis sliding up and down and against their vaginal walls and I am not feeling that. It's unsatisfying. When I have sex I want to get as much out of it as everyone else how long have you been having sex? the answer is really important. are you excited enough when you do it? I used to be like you and still I cant orgasm from sex. but physically sex is feeling better! definitly try to touch yourself or using vibrator while having sex, makes the situation much much more better. Link to comment
BronzedSkin123 Posted November 3, 2008 Author Share Posted November 3, 2008 how long have you been having sex? the answer is really important. are you excited enough when you do it? I used to be like you and still I cant orgasm from sex. but physically sex is feeling better! definitly try to touch yourself or using vibrator while having sex, makes the situation much much more better. I haven't been having sex consistently. When I had a boyfriend we didn't do it a lot (only a few times) because I didn't enjoy it. IHe would go down on me and I'd be excited but once he penetrated me, I wasn't aroused anymore because it didn't feel good I've been experimenting with dildos though. Hoping I'll find some magical spot Link to comment
BronzedSkin123 Posted November 3, 2008 Author Share Posted November 3, 2008 There are some women who feel sexual pleasure with any man even if they are not in love with them...hence FWBs and one night stands. There are some women who only feel sexual pleasure with a man they are truly in love with. It sounds like you fall into the latter category. You are forcing yourself to try to enjoy something you think you should enjoy based on today's societal norms...penetration for the sake of pure physical gratification. But it sounds like you are not wired that way. Like I said before, wait until you are in a mutually loving relationship...then you will probably enjoy penetration. well, a mutually loving relationship is not a guarantee for me. I just won't put my hopes up into finding a true love, even though I really want it to happen. Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 I haven't been having sex consistently. When I had a boyfriend we didn't do it a lot (only a few times) because I didn't enjoy it. IHe would go down on me and I'd be excited but once he penetrated me, I wasn't aroused anymore because it didn't feel good But I have experimented with a dildo quite a few times ok hon, that might totally be the reason! for me even the first times( I mean even the first 50 or 60 times) It was painful and you know what? It still is sometimes but not always! Cause the size of vagina is not the same everytime, sometime it is really tight so more painful. But you have to have sex more and more then the pain will go away for most of the time. you may not feel good at this moment but start experimenting. touch your clit during sex, it makes penetration feels much better. I tell you this, Cause I have been ion your situation and now adays I wont stay with someone who doesn't want to have penetration. Link to comment
greywolf Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 Could you stay in a long term relationship with a partner that involved oral sex, masterbation and fingering? No penis in vagina contact at all. Or anal. Of course.... Link to comment
Ac143 Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 I dont know many women that get pleasure just by penetration alone. It can be painful if you aren't excited and getting excited for me has to include oral, touching etc. If my BF went straight for the "kill" I wouldn't be happy with sex either. I had this problem when I first started having sex, I didn't like sex at all. It didn't feel good and I just never felt like I was part of the act either because I kept thinking about if it hurt, or was I doing this or that wrong etc instead of focusing on getting in the mood. I think the more I experienced and learned what I liked (and had someone I loved) the sex got better. It did take some time to get there though. Your mind can play a huge role in this. Link to comment
BronzedSkin123 Posted November 3, 2008 Author Share Posted November 3, 2008 Well, I've been consideirng finding a sex partner to get practice with...right now I have no prospects tho Link to comment
lumu Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 Did but I wouldn't again. Penetrative sex is too important to me as a way to keep closeness. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 Have you been to a gynecologist and talked about this? You might have a very thick hymen, which never fully broke when having sex (and still won't break). You can get a quick procedure in the doctors office to fix that. Sex should not be painful unless there is a problem like that, which a doctor can fix. Link to comment
BronzedSkin123 Posted November 3, 2008 Author Share Posted November 3, 2008 Have you been to a gynecologist and talked about this? You might have a very thick hymen, which never fully broke when having sex (and still won't break). You can get a quick procedure in the doctors office to fix that. Sex should not be painful unless there is a problem like that, which a doctor can fix. that's not it. it hurts during entry but when it's in there, and if the guy is going slow it's not painful. It feels like someone is pressing on my insides. There is no pleasure or nothing. It's like I have no nerves in there Link to comment
laisla Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 yes, i could. i can just use a vibrator =) Link to comment
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