greywolf Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 She is a s*lut....don't get offended, I'm just stating the obvious. wow. I guess not everyone can be as perfect as you, huh? Not even your boyfriend. anyways, I'm sure he will get tired of how you seem to look down on him and everyone around you. Link to comment
Syntax1985 Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I stand up for him when other guys tell me "Oh you should dump Chris and date me. I tell them to "f**ck off" ok first of. stop it. your creating excuses for EVERYTHING people with decent advise are giving you. secondly, you call that standing up for him? but your to ashamed to put his pic on your facebook because you friends think hes ugly? your example isnt standing up for him, your example is not cheating on him. youve turned something that falls down under the catagory of you just doing the right and decent thing, and turned it into "your doing him a favour". man, dump him so he can find someone he deserves. sorry but your not listening to anyones reasoning, so theres no way your ever going to accept certain issues and your definatly not going to solve them. if that was your reply to everything i said before, i hate to say horrible things i really do, but your one shallow person. once again i really feel sorry for your bf but im out of this now, wasted thoughts on my account. Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 well i think we all started off wanting to help but you don't seem to want to hear anything that isn't stroking your ego and telling you you have done nothing wrong... if your boyfriend knew you were embarrassed about him b/c he doesn't look as hot as you i am sure he would be pretty upset...perhaps he sees that in you and that is why he is pulling back...wouldn't blame him... Link to comment
Syntax1985 Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 well i think we all started off wanting to help but you don't seem to want to hear anything that isn't stroking your ego and telling you you have done nothing wrong... if your boyfriend knew you were embarrassed about him b/c he doesn't look as hot as you i am sure he would be pretty upset...perhaps he sees that in you and that is why he is pulling back...wouldn't blame him... lol same conclusion, same time Link to comment
D1607307904 Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 well i think we all started off wanting to help but you don't seem to want to hear anything that isn't stroking your ego and telling you you have done nothing wrong... if your boyfriend knew you were embarrassed about him b/c he doesn't look as hot as you i am sure he would be pretty upset...perhaps he sees that in you and that is why he is pulling back...wouldn't blame him... It's not that I don't want to hear what your saying, it's that I can't just change the way I feel. Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 lol same conclusion, same time i saw that too...great minds and you can always change the way you think and feel...you always have a choice-(to those who answered on my thread earlier-see i listen Link to comment
D1607307904 Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 Anybody else actually been in this situation help me, I would appricate it. Link to comment
greywolf Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 Well, I think your advice is horrible. Your supposed to try to help people right? Yeah I know I have a problem, but you cant assume hes going to get tired of me. We've been together for over 2 years, and he hasnt gotten tired of me yet, what makes you think hes going to get tired of me now? I just came on here to ask for help, not get judged. I did try to help. But you just responded with all the things you said in the first post. You're the one that thinks he's tired of you. It doesn't feel so good being judged, huh? Link to comment
Syntax1985 Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 i saw that too...great minds and you can always change the way you think and feel...you always have a choice-(to those who answered on my thread earlier-see i listen yeah your right, look D, maybe i got a bit carried away in my last post, it gets frustrating when you feel like your playing a carnival game of ring toss, and you know its rigged. im sorry for any harsh comments. but at the end of the day, your thoughts and actions are not portraying a very nice person. i very much doubt your the person you want to be, even if you don't realise it. and your frame of mind at the moment, you want advise and help, you want to fix things, but your not willing to accept those things are you. and im sorry but they really are. i would like it if you posted another topic, and just vent, say what you really think and feel about your friends, family, and your bf. say what how your feeling at the moment, are you trapped? are you still in education? are you working? are you worried because your unemployed. just really open up and vent everything, doesnt matter how long it is i promise il read it. Link to comment
greywolf Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 It's not that I don't want to hear what your saying, it's that I can't just change the way I feel. you can't? so your feelings control you? Link to comment
D1607307904 Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 I did try to help. But you just responded with all the things you said in the first post. You're the one that thinks he's tired of you. It doesn't feel so good being judged, huh? No it doesn't. I wanted to come on this website and ask for advice, hopeing there were people out there that understood me. But obviousally not. Link to comment
D1607307904 Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 Well of course I don't want to be like this, thats why I came on here asking for help. I hate being jealous, I hate being insecure. I don't take PLEASURE, always worried about what other people think about me. Maybe I am picky when it comes to some things, maybe I do ask a lot of my boyfriend, but it's not like I WANT to be like this. It's just something I can't help, and when I try to change, I just feel DEPRESSED! Link to comment
D1607307904 Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 you can't? so your feelings control you? Yes..............Haven't you relized that yet? Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 have you ever done any counselling? Link to comment
D1607307904 Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 have you ever done any counselling? Yes, it doesn't help me. I'm still seeing a therapist, and it doesn't really seem to help. The lady is pretty much a weirdo. Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 Yes, it doesn't help me. I'm still seeing a therapist, and it doesn't really seem to help. The lady is pretty much a weirdo. well if you are not connecting with your therapist why don't you try to find another one? I don't know what it is you are looking for to be honest. EVERYTHING anyone has said you have come back with an automatic reason why that won't work... maybe you don't want to change? maybe you don't want help... Link to comment
greywolf Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 Yes..............Haven't you relized that yet? That's my point. Everytime someone tries to help you, you say "But I feel this way...." of course you feel that way. We all know you feel that way. You said it in your first post. We're trying to tell you how to not feel that way. We're trying to tell you how to take control of your feelings. If you felt like killing someone would you do it? I mean, why not? After all, you felt that way. Link to comment
Syntax1985 Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I just feel DEPRESSED! and finally the truth comes out. i would be depressed if i was you too, from what i know, and i do think i have an understanding for why your feeling like that. you know those "oh its a boat"! kinda pictures? but at first it looks like just a mess of squiggly lines?, well thats your life at the moment, and what your doing right now is pushing your face right up against it, trying to find this hidden boat, and that's why your concentrating so much on your bf. what you need to do, is step back, and look at the whole picture. your friends dont sound very reliable or trustworthy. well i wouldnt see them as either if they showed me so little respect, so maybe its time you just realised "screw them", open your facebook in a minute, and go through your friends list, and delete everyone that you only know on surface value, you dont trust, or you hardly ever speak to. your real friends wont give a sh*t how many mates you have on facebook. and if you wanna stay with your boyfriend, post a picture of you and him as your profile, show him you care, and also see what your friends say, see how much respect they really have for you. to me you sound very lonely, your friends arnt real, and you feel your boyfriend doesnt pay you enough attention. the reason your getting depressed is because you feel you have no control over this, or uptill now you didnt realise you do. Link to comment
D1607307904 Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 But what if I feel like I cant trust any of my "friends" then Im stuck with like very few people. I live here in a place where nobody can trust each other. Its really hard because all my friends compete with each other for hotter boyfriends and we all wanna be better then each other! Link to comment
D1607307904 Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 Any other good advicessssssss Link to comment
Dragunov-21 Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 But what if I feel like I cant trust any of my "friends" then Im stuck with like very few people. I live here in a place where nobody can trust each other. Its really hard because all my friends compete with each other for hotter boyfriends and we all wanna be better then each other! My apologies, but 74 replies was too much to wade through... As to my advice?... Get some better friends... Link to comment
greywolf Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 Any other good advicessssssss i think you have received plenty of great advice. Link to comment
D1607307904 Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 i think you have received plenty of great advice. Any other advice please Link to comment
D1607307904 Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 My apologies, but 74 replies was too much to wade through... As to my advice?... Get some better friends... Have you read the whole thing? Read the whole thing buddy. My problem isnt solved yet. Link to comment
Dragunov-21 Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 Have you read the whole thing? Read the whole thing buddy. My problem isnt solved yet. Jesus Christ... Ok, first off, the thousands of active members are here as part of a collective, they have lives, and limits on their time. They are not here exclusively for you. Be nicer to them, read their posts carefully and you may actually get some value from them (you can't rely on us to FIX your problems, only assist). That said, tonight I have no life and decided to read through it all. Cliffnotes Version 1. I think RedHearts has the right of it - you aren't ready to have sex - but I would go further and say that you aren't ready for a relationship of any kind yet. 2. Your main problem is your lack of empathy, your inability to see anything from any point of view but your own, both in your relationship and on this forum. That's something only you can work on (maybe with help from a therapist, but that's up to you). 3. Your lack of empathy and basic manners seems to be due to simple immaturity - I'm not trying to be offensive, I'm just saying that your manner and problems speak of a much younger and more inexperienced girl. 4. You need to stop competing over things like boyfriends - do you want a trophy or a relationship? Relationships are based on trust, respect and mutual care/love/whatever-you-wanna-call-it. 5. You don't love him. I'm sorry, but you don't. You need him, you are infatuated with him, but it's not love. know you won't accept this, and this is prolly the part of my replyyou'll quote when you decide to rebutt, but that's my honest opinion. and now for the shocker... I know how you feel, to a certain extent. My first gf was, though still a virgin, more experienced by far than I was, and it made me feel a little inadequate. Once I got to know her better and felt more secure in her feelings for me, it wasn't an issue. I think the biggest issues here are immaturity and insecurity. The first takes time and real-world experience, the second requires you to feel good abot yourslf on your own before you try to fel secure in a relationship. Take my advice for what it's worth. Link to comment
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