Feeling a little insecure about my g/f and jewelry...

[Scoe141]

My girlfriend and I have been dating now for approximately 8 months. She was married prior for 10 years. I know this issue is probably trivial, but it still invokes an uneasy feeling. I'm looking to quell these insecure thoughts, which is why I'm here for help!

 

She has several pieces of jewelry that she wears, that he had given her. Some of these include, a necklace, diamond tennis bracelet and a sapphire ring. She told me they have no significant meaning, and wears them because they go well with her outfits. I know she doesnt have any other nice pieces of jewelry to wear.

 

My g/f did tell me that if it made me feel uncomfortable, then she wouldn't wear them. I told her that I didn't mind, but it was uncomfortable, and that it was something I would have to get over.

 

She told me she would only wear them with specific outfits, and would be sensitive to my feelings. I think I'm being ridiculous, but maybe not??

 

Any thoughts?

[itsallgrand]

Have you given her any nice jewelry?

 

Could replace with pieces from you, then she can put those others aside or sell them.

[Scoe141]

Yes, I gave her a necklace... my financial situation dictates what I can buy her. So instead, I have to make her nice things. (Which she loves.)

 

She does wear the necklace I gave her, but funny thing is, this necklace from her ex was all tangled in knots and I spent an hour untangling it!! Since then, she has been wearing it often.

[anggrace]

I don't think it's out of line for you to feel a little uneasy about it, but judging by her reaction, they really don't mean anything to her. I would do as you said you would do and try to get over it. They are just objects that make her feel pretty. Thats all. I wouldn't even worry about buying new jewelry to replace it. I mean buy her jewelry if you see something you think she'd like and really want her to have it, but not simply to replace the others. If she liked them before, she probably won't want to stop wearing them just because she now has something else. I think it's even better that you make her nice things. To me thats more special. That takes time which is much more personal than just spending money.

[Roasted Carrots]

I put all the jewlry my ex bought me with all the rest of his "stuff" in my room. It meant something to me and I don't feel comfortable wearing it.

 

But if she says it means nothing, then it probably doesn't. They sound like very nice things to wear and she probably just wants to wear some nice jewlry, regardless of where it came from.

 

She says that she will be sensitive and she sounds guinine to me! If they are just things to her, then they are just things. It sounds like to bothers you the most that her ex gave her nice things and she wears them. Would you still feel the same way if she was wearing a T-shirt or still using a toaster oven or something that was once a gift?

[itsallgrand]

funny thing is, this necklace from her ex was all tangled in knots and I spent an hour untangling it!! Since then, she has been wearing it often.

 

That's so sweet.

 

I think anggrace is right. These are pretty things to her.

 

I understand how it is a bit weird for you. It reminds you of her past relationship.

 

If you can remind yourself over and over, "I'm with her now. She's with me." maybe that would help.

 

I also agree that making things touches the heart of a lot of us a lot more than jewelry ever could.

[annie24]

if i had a diamond tennis bracelet, i'd wear it too! it sounds like these items really DON'T mean anything to her, besides that they look pretty. i wouldn't raise a fuss unless you are prepared to buy her new ones that are bigger and shinier.

[Scoe141]

Yes, the necklace is her birthstone, which is really pretty.

 

The fact she told me, "I'll stop wearing it if it makes you uncomfortable" certainly means a lot.

 

I have clothes (a few pieces) that ex's had given to me. I guess I always thought jewelry is more personal. Now, there is a promise ring that she still has from him, but she does not wear it. I think that would be completely different, a long with her wedding band....

 

I appreciate all of the compliments thought!

[annie24]

yes, i agree a promise ring and a wedding band are TOTALLY different. but a pretty diamond bracelet or sapphire ring? they are just pretty and expensive! i know one woman who threw her diamond earrings into the ocean after the divorce, and then regretted it shortly afterwards.

[ghost69]

she likes the jewelry, not the person that gave it to her.

[rocio]

I think I'm being ridiculous, but maybe not??

 

Not.

 

She can have these made into new pieces. Bracelets can be made into necklaces, rings made into earrings, etc.