happytobealive Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 So its pretty obv. that a friend of mine is attracted to me. I really like him and want to see if there is propper chemistry. I have absolutly no problem sending him a txt saying lets get together some time for a few drinks. But here's my question is this a good idea? how do men really see women who make the first move? I am confident and not scared of rejection at all. I just dont want him to feel like he has to go on a date with me because we are friends with the same people. I aslo dont want to seem easy, forward or needy by being the first one to inicate something... What does every one think? Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 i'm not a guy, but i know that some guy may appreciate the girl making the first move and giving that extra nudge. but, on the other hand, maybe there is a reason he hasn't asked you out himself? why do you think he hasn't asked you out yet if he is attracted to you? Link to comment
happytobealive Posted May 3, 2008 Author Share Posted May 3, 2008 yeah i was thinking about this too. but I know his best friend told him that i wasnt interested a while back (which wasnt quite true), his best friend brought the whole thing up with me on saterday and said he definatly likes me. The best friend also txt me during the week asking me to go out to a club with a couple of friends not the whole group inc. the guy i like. We (the actually guy and I) were talking before about chat up lines and i was explaining that my best friend whom he also know gets far more attention from nice guys than i do.his responce was "wow i dont believe that you are sooo much hotter than xxxx" and she is freaking stunning. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 i'm not a guy, but i know that some guy may appreciate the girl making the first move and giving that extra nudge. but, on the other hand, maybe there is a reason he hasn't asked you out himself? why do you think he hasn't asked you out yet if he is attracted to you? Very good point...I would wait before I put myself out there...once you do, you can't take it back... Link to comment
happytobealive Posted May 3, 2008 Author Share Posted May 3, 2008 Very good point...I would wait before I put myself out there...once you do, you can't take it back... Wouldn't that be the same case for him if he was to ask me? Link to comment
DN Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 Well, he may be shy or feel you are not attracted to him - who knows why he hasn't asked you out? But if he doesn't and you don't - that is the end of that. So take the chance and ask him out. Link to comment
coolblue Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 So its pretty obv. that a friend of mine is attracted to me. I really like him and want to see if there is propper chemistry. I have absolutly no problem sending him a txt saying lets get together some time for a few drinks. But here's my question is this a good idea? how do men really see women who make the first move? I am confident and not scared of rejection at all. I just dont want him to feel like he has to go on a date with me because we are friends with the same people. I aslo dont want to seem easy, forward or needy by being the first one to inicate something... What does every one think? Love is lived between two. Not three. So that is your bussiness .Your friends don't mind... Link to comment
happytobealive Posted May 3, 2008 Author Share Posted May 3, 2008 Love is lived between two. Not three. So that is your bussiness .Your friends don't mind... Oh to be honest im not thinking about what my friends think only what he thinks.... Link to comment
Dako Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 Very good point...I would wait before I put myself out there...once you do, you can't take it back... Exactly. That might even be what holds him back as well. Ask him. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 Depends on his personality, etc. On him. Is he personally the sort of character that would have a problem/not take seriously a date if he's not the one doing the asking? If he's not totally traditional (i.e. Turned off by women asking ) - I'd say go for it. Though, I think asking in person is nicer than by text. Just keep it real casual like. Link to comment
Superfreak Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 If you are confident and not scared of rejection, then you should call him up instead of texting. Otherwise, speaking as a guy around your age, I definitely wouldn't look down on a girl asking me out, quite the opposite. Link to comment
ShelbyDude Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 just do it. +1 Lifes to short no matter how old you are............................. Link to comment
happytobealive Posted May 3, 2008 Author Share Posted May 3, 2008 If you are confident and not scared of rejection, then you should call him up instead of texting.. yeah I've been getting the whole dont txt call vibe for pleanty of people. and as soon as my exams are over i think i might just do that... Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 I once had a friend who was pretty easy...all the guys knew that she was easy. However, her policy was that she would never ever ask a guy out because it would make her look to easy....yet, if a guy asked her out, she was very eager to please if you get my drift. So basically, asking someone out is not what makes a woman easy...it is if she indulges in sexual activity very early on or gives the sexual vibes that gives her the reputation. There is nothing wrong with asking out a guy...do it over the phone, not by text. Link to comment
NewPhillyGuy Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 +1 Lifes to short no matter how old you are............................. EXACTLY! I mean, from a guy's perspective, I would be flattered if a girl asked me out. I would know that she liked me. Me being kinda shy, this would help me to open up a bit, because I wouldn't be worried about rejection. Link to comment
wish4me Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 I've been dating 6 months and I was the one who initiated the first move. We met through friends and while he was standing leaning against the kitchen sink looking up watching tv, I got up to pass him, stopped caught around him and gave him a smooch. I think he was taken back because he wasn't sure how I felt about him. I couldn't believe I made the first move that night but I did and we are still together ~ Happy as 2 pigs in Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 ^ Ha! Love that story. Very similar to how my first 'love' and I got together finally. Went and took him by surprise one day with a smooch - it was already in the cards, we were both coy little buggers. Best relationship of my life to date. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 if you do ask him out, my advice would be to keep it casual. i wouldn't make it a big deal, just be like, 'hey - there is this event this weekend i am wanting to go to, wanna come along?' or if there is something you could use his help with, maybe rearranging some furniture, ask him to help and buy him lunch afterwards? if you do ask him out, i'd make sure to let him make the next move. it's not healthy if you are always the one asking him out and making plans. i agree with crazyaboutdogs, simply suggesting a get together won't make you seem 'easy' or 'too-forward'. Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 back in the day before i got married i always used to approach guys...lifes short and i am not going to sit around and wait for someone else to make something happen... meh...if you have the confidence and can handle hearing no some times i say go for it! Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 back in the day before i got married i always used to approach guys...lifes short and i am not going to sit around and wait for someone else to make something happen... meh...if you have the confidence and can handle hearing no some times i say go for it! yes, i think the key is not really caring whether they say yes or no! just like you would call up a coworker or friend and ask them to lunch, and if they say no, then you probably wouldn't lose any sleep over it. if you can do the same with asking a guy out, then it's good. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 The bottom line is that not everyone will make a move whether they are male or female and there are many reasons why it isnt common practice for them to do so. If any person is willing to take a chance then whether they are male or female taken but dont invest too much in that person saying yes or the situation working out. Link to comment
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