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Oh God what am I gonna do??!

WTHUWY

By WTHUWY
in Pregnancy

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WTHUWY Apprentice

WTHUWY

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I've had this FWB for about 2 months. We've known each other for yrs but just recently started hanging out/sleeping together. About 3 wks ago we went out and got pretty drunk....we ended up having sex and the condom broke, so he ended up pulling out. I was on the pill, and have been for yrs. But I was late last wk and I took a test and I'm pregnant. I haven't told him yet and I don't really know how to. He's not into relationships and we've just been FWB.

 

To be honest I like him, alot, but he doesn't know that......I don't know what to do! I don't know how to tell him!? I'm afraid he'll be all "its not mine!" but he's the only person I've been sleeping with (he doesn't know that either-we have a don't ask don't tell thing).

Advice?!?! HELP

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WTHUWY Apprentice

WTHUWY

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You just have to suck it up and tell him. There's no other way. Invite him over to hang out, and just make sure you phrase it in a way that works best. Make it sound like a happy thing instead of a bad one!

 

How do you do that with a FWB that has no interest in settling down?

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SapphireNoir10 Community Regular

SapphireNoir10

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I admire you for that decision, more people should think like you! I know I'd probably take the easy way out.

 

Well I think you should tell him, face to face, invite him round, sit him down and just tell him straight. Let him know your not expecting him to marry you but you would like him to be part of the childs life.

 

If he does run for the hills, Im SURE he still has to pay child support? so you shouldn't be financially alone? Im not sure how it works.

 

But just being honest is the best way forwards.

 

How are you feeling about it all?

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Hope75 Grand Master

Hope75

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Well, the thing about friends with benefits is that there is always a risk of getting pregnant, even if it is minute and you are taking precautions (as it sounds like you were with both the condom and the pill.)

 

I would be honest with him. If he chooses not to be involved, once the baby is born you can establish paternity and sue him for child support.

 

Both of you knew the risks when you decided to engage in a FWB arrangement.

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EQD Collaborator

EQD

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you dont really have much of a choice but to tell him. . . invite him over, hand him a puke bucket and break the news as gently as possible. if he runs for the hills then let him, his name will be on the childs birth certificate either way and then you can milk him for child support. On the other hand he could be a man about it, step up to the plate, and prepare to help raise this child with you.

I wish you the best of luck and hope it all works out.

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WTHUWY Apprentice

WTHUWY

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Do you have a family to support you? I'd be terriefied too.

 

Also are you currently working? Living at home?

 

Many mothers manage without the babies father around, you have to be strong and think theres a little life that depends on you.

 

I have a mom close by but she's about to move 3 hrs away. That's it.

 

I live alone, have a good job...but still.

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MattW Community Regular

MattW

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Not really giving any advice, or anything, here, just dropped in to tell a story about a girl I knew. Back in my senior year of high school, there was this one girl in my circle of friends, and she was in a FWB relationship. I guess they were doing that for a while, even before I had met her properly; she didn't particularly like him all that much, but she always joked with us that he'd probably be the guy she ends up marrying. Well, in about November or December of '06, the guy was begging her to try it without a condom; she wasn't on the pill, but eventually she caved in, and they way overdid it, and she ended up getting pregnant.

 

She knew right from the beginning she didn't want to have the baby, and she also knew that her parents and the guy's parents would probably throw a fit, etc. At first she wasn't even going to tell the guy about the pregnancy, she was just going to have the abortion. I'm not sure what changed her mind, but she finally told him about it, and he wanted to keep it. They had a really big fight, but decided to get the abortion, and then they kinda fizzled out after that. I think she ended up going to the same college as him, though, so who knows, maybe they've worked things out now, or even got back together. *shrugs*

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catwalk Apprentice

catwalk

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I say tell him and if he wants nothing to do with it, forget he exsists. Let him contact you if he wants but other than that, leave him and forget him.

 

He doesn't have to be a dead beat dad if he's not around and you don't pester him for child support. You can be a strong single mom all on your own! If your family supports you, that's all you'll need and all your child needs is to be loved.

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midnightrambler Enthusiast

midnightrambler

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I say tell him and if he wants nothing to do with it, forget he exsists. Let him contact you if he wants but other than that, leave him and forget him.

 

He doesn't have to be a dead beat dad if he's not around and you don't pester him for child support. You can be a strong single mom all on your own! If your family supports you, that's all you'll need and all your child needs is to be loved.

 

wrong.....get every dime you can from him

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catwalk Apprentice

catwalk

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wrong.....get every dime you can from him

And THIS ^^^^ is why men are jerks. What an awful way to think.

 

It makes me sad that women can't be independent anymore and have resorted to extortion & gold digging.

 

Maybe he'll want to be involved & all her worries will be for nothing, hopefully

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WTHUWY Apprentice

WTHUWY

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And THIS ^^^^ is why men are jerks. What an awful way to think.

 

It makes me sad that women can't be independent anymore and have resorted to extortion & gold digging.

 

Maybe he'll want to be involved & all her worries will be for nothing, hopefully

 

But I do need help....I can't afford a child on my own. Its not fair for him to get off free and clear and not have to be responsible...especially when financially he's completely capable.

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Hope75 Grand Master

Hope75

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And THIS ^^^^ is why men are jerks. What an awful way to think.

 

It makes me sad that women can't be independent anymore and have resorted to extortion & gold digging.

 

Maybe he'll want to be involved & all her worries will be for nothing, hopefully

 

I don't think helping to support a life you create means you are being taken advantage of or that the mother is a 'gold digger'.

 

It takes two to create a life and children are expensive.

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RelaxByWater84 Proficient

RelaxByWater84

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And THIS ^^^^ is why men are jerks. What an awful way to think.

 

It makes me sad that women can't be independent anymore and have resorted to extortion & gold digging.

 

Maybe he'll want to be involved & all her worries will be for nothing, hopefully

 

It takes two to tango. Some women have well-paying jobs and can't afford to have a baby on her salary. It helps to have two incomes to be able to provide for the needs of a baby.

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EQD Collaborator

EQD

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you bring a baby into the world you support it!!

 

AMEN!!! I agree! You dont sit there and say 'well i can raise it all on my own' just for the sake of looking strong and independent, this is a child and if the guy is going to flake you best believe he needs to pay in some way, life isnt cheap and there is no reason why he can't pull his share because after all it takes TWO to make a baby!

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