Oh God what am I gonna do??!

[EQD]

what a gem......kick him to the curb and have a lawyer get child suppport from him, as much as it legally allowed.

 

agreed fully. he 'doesnt want it to ruin his life' well thats just too damn bad for him isnt it??

[dream83]

Wow, what an incredibly selfish jerk. This guy is the lowest form of scum. Good for you for not listening to him and for throwing him out. That shows a great deal of strength on your part! This baby is going to be okay.

 

It's ridiculous. If animals see fit to take care of the offspring they create, then human beings should do the same. It's the natural order of things, and I don't really get why people would think otherwise. The first and primary reason that sex even exists is for the purpose of making babies...That's not to say that it doesn't have its other benefits. But, it's the way by which we reproduce. thereforeeee, when this pregnancy resulted, this guy should have just said, "Oh...I guess things happened the way nature intended. Guess I'm going to be a father," as opposed to throwing a hissy fit like he's doing. Babies come from sex...bottom line. Tell him to grow up and deal with it.

 

Anyhow, I say all this to say that I personally believe you're doing the right thing, for what it's worth. Don't blame yourself for this man's behavior. What you've got going on in your body is a beautiful thing, and you have a special human being growing inside of you right now. You are going to love your baby so much for the rest of your life that no matter what happens with this guy everything will be okay in the end. If you need to collect support from him and go on your way, then so be it. You will go on to love your child, and eventually you will find true love with a man who will love you and your child. You seem to be an independent, strong woman, and everything will come together for you.

[mvphitter15]

did he completely ejaculate inside you?

[WTHUWY]

did he completely ejaculate inside you?

 

Yes, for the most part. The condom broke when he was about to go, and there was already some cum...then he pulled out to finish really fast.

[teknoise]

you bring a baby into the world you support it!!

 

I don't want to stir up trouble. But her choosing to keep or abort the child is not his decision, so technically he has less control over 'bringing a child into the world' than she does. Just pointing out that it takes two to tango, but ultimately one to decide the fate of the pregnancy.

 

Well, nobody said he had to go and get married if thats what you meant by settling down. When you have sex though, that's one thing you have to take in consideration that there is always that possibility.

 

Very true. There should always be a discussion on what happens if a pregnancy should occur so that no surprises occur if she should wind up pregnant.

 

Its in ones best interest, if a casual FWB is all they want, not to get involved with a woman who would carry to term if they wound up pregnant. I'm not going to come out and make any judgement on the type of person who would do that, I'm just pointing out that is what should be done.

 

 

Anyway, if you feel you are financially capable raising this child and giving it a good life if he slacks off on payments or leaves the country or dies or gets in a car accident and cannot work or whatever, then go for it. All the power to you. We need more single mothers in the world like that. But the courts try to be fair and will only take as much money as they feel is fair from him. If he goes on welfare or workers compensation, they likely won't take anything. If you are only keeping it because you'd feel all guilty for aborting, when the child will grow up in total poverty and despair, don't bother. I'm not talking to you directly either, just more of a general statement to people that keep their child to term only because they'd feel terrible if they didn't, and then the kid ends up being raised in squalor and unloved. Again, not saying that is you AT ALL, so please don't interpret it that way, just saying that this happens a lot. So its something to bear in mind.

[Hezzie]

If that's how he chooses to act, then so be it. But yet my confusion is. How does this ruin HIS life and not your life?

 

You'll be carrying this child, inside YOUR body for nine months. YOU Will go into labor and give birth, Where there are serious risks involved already. YOU will spend the nights in the hospital until they tell you, you can leave.

 

He can get up and walk away, you can't. That Selfish thinking is what constantly manages to piss me off on a daily basis.

 

You're very brave for deciding to keep this child. It will be a struggle, there will be difficulties like you couldn't believe, constant barriers to cross. But the smiles and giggles, the pick me up mommies. Make all of that completely worth it.

 

Work hard, stay happy, be calm..and enjoy your future

[Mythical_Suicide]

I don't want to stir up trouble. But her choosing to keep or abort the child is not his decision, so technically he has less control over 'bringing a child into the world' than she does. Just pointing out that it takes two to tango, but ultimately one to decide the fate of the pregnancy.

 

 

 

 

 

I think what everyone who has mentioned him bringing a child into the world and supporting it isn't necessarily speaking of having the child as much as they are of saying he chose to have sex and risk her getting pregnant he needs to be a man and take care of it.

[TheSmilingTurnip]

I haven't been on ena for a while and I'm glad to see one poster who is taking her life seriously and is acting with class when it comes to dealing with such a dramatic situation. You saw right through his drama and his emotional pleadings, all of which were intended to simply get you to terminate, and you didn't stand for it. Many women in your shoes would be listening to these very persuasive words he is using. Good for you for being honest with yourself.

[Rabican]

wow... and he thought YOU were being selfish for having a kid? Jeez, theres nowhere to even go with a guy like that. Just tell him you dont want anything from him except for some child support. He owes you that at least, if hes man enough to do the deed, hes man enough to write the check.

[lonelygemini]

Congrats on your pregnancy!

 

First, I just wanted to say be very careful around this guy while you are pregnant. Whether you want to pursue child support or not (I recommend that you should), people get crazy these days when it comes to pregnant women. I wouldn’t be alone with this guy or answer the door at night. I’m not trying to instill paranoia, but being pregnant is a dangerous time for a woman, especially if there are people out there that do not want her to have a baby.

 

Otherwise, I think you’ll be fine, mama. I’m scared, worrying about whether I’ll be a good mommy and about my relationship with my SO (since we’re not married yet). I think pregnancy is a scary time for any woman.

 

Also, don’t feel so discouraged about him. He *may* come around eventually, and it might not be until after you have the baby. He *may* actually become a great father. Don’t stress on him being a “dead beat dad”. On the other hand, don’t have too much wishful thinking about him. Just take it easy as much as possible, especially in these first few months.

[WTHUWY]

Thank you all for the support.....

 

A little update....I'll be 9 weeks in two days! I'm doing well...sometimes a little sick, but not too bad..Still no belly. Not even a little..

 

Its been so up and down with him...not to mention I'm a little overly emotional. He asked to come over this wknd. We had dinner. Then he made a comment about me not looking pregnant and then he acted like he didn't believe me that I was....I told him to come with me to my next Dr. appointment. He started being a jerk. I made him leave.

 

I have to agree w/ the above poster. I don't think I need to be around him alone. He got really really mad. I don't THINK he'd do anything, but then again I don't really know him.

[TheSmilingTurnip]

^^^ Good decision. Listen to your gut. At the very least, the last thing you need right now is the static from him. You can likely expect that he will soon find a way to try and ask you to terminate again or something else.

[Kamue]

Hunny, don't ask him to take responsibilities as a parent. TELL HIM! He's an adult and he can act like it now. And ya know, pregnancy has a way of bringing people together. It happened to me. Perhaps it will help you; maybe he'll realize his feelings for you. If he doesn't wanna settle down, he better atleast help you financially.

Just tell him like it is.

Btw, I had a very similar relationship with a guy, then I got pregnant, so I understand. If ya ever wanna talk personally, feel free to message me! Good luck, sweetie!