Loaning money to your SO...would you do it?

[avman]

Even the brightest person can have an error in judgement and get taken in a scam. It happens all the time and that's exactly what these people hope for.

 

Have her file a chargeback and fraud report with her credit/debit card company immediately. They'll return the money to her and you won't be out the $250 anymore.

[BYOB]

I would fully trust her for this time but you should be warry for further loans.

 

Big loans start with small loans. From 100 to 250, over 4 months... what will it be next? I just wish it doesn't become a habbit for you.

[Seymore]

OK so you get the cruise that you were planning anyway...where's the harm? You'd have paid for your half anyway I assume.

 

Again, I'm ever the skeptic. Until I'm on the plane to Florida, I'm not buying it.

[melrich]

Ahh you know...if you know the company and it has a name, it is unlikely that they will just outright take your money and run.

 

Otherwise you could do as avman advised and file a fraud note with her credit card provider.

 

I do know that those seminars can be a bit of a hook but I'd be really surprised if they did not deliver something that you actually paid for.

[Seymore]

Well, thanks melrich, and everyone else. That kinda helps put my mind at ease.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I think you should go by her character. If she is always good with money, always pays you back then she will pay you back. She erred in judgement and got herself into a jam. You say $250 won't break your bank and that you know she will pay it back...so what is the problem? She is your girlfriend and she thought she was doing something good for the two of you by booking the cruise. It was done with the best of intentions so don't punish her for this. She should talk to the credit card company and let them know. Also, you say this is a known cruise line...she should contact that cruise line and let them know...it is quite possible they don't even know that someone is running this scam. As for your father...I think that was a bit harsh to call you an idiot...I am sorry but he seems to have been so absorbed with money that he forgot about the human side of this. He should be outraged about the scam and feel bad that your girlfriend got taken in...instead he is calling you an idiot for giving her $250 until she sorts out the situation. Your father may be good with money but money isn't everything...understanding and compassion also counts.

[cc2006]

I've handed large sums of cash over to partner's in time of need. My most recent ex I let borrow far more than you currently are. I'm a full time student too, and don't have the money to throw around either, but she was in a tough spot at the time (waiting for her first paycheck at her new job) and I knew she was good for it.

 

It was weird though ... because, once people found out I had lent it to her, I kept getting those speeches too: "you moron, kiss that money goodbye" and "you just got scammed" .. etc.

 

She paid me back in full a few months later.

 

 

You have to base it off the person, I guess. It can be an expensive learning experience though, if it doesn't work out.

[RayKay]

For me, it depends on the relationship - the nature of it; as well as the personality of the other (caveat is of course if I did not trust them, I would not be with them in first place!).

 

This would not be a loan though, would it, it would be a gift? It is totally up to you. I can see for me there would be a hesitancy to pay for their "mistake" but it all depends on whether this is one of those things you realize was a mistake and choose to help her out for now until things are sorted out.

 

Personally, I go by "if you trust them, YOU have the cash and there are still "terms" to the loan then by all means do it". Don't loan what you don't have though. But this all depends on the relationship. I have to say I would not feel comfortable loaning, or receiving a loan, from a new dating partner. I just think it can create a dynamic that can taint an early relationship. After you are in a longer term relationship or are living together/married and the like it can be a bit different altogether and often you are "helping" one another out financially in different forms (not necessarily loans, but through harder times, or changing entire budget even if you on your own could afford to do more for example as you are thinking of the two of you).

 

From what I know, often these things ARE scams or not all they purport to be.......because while you pay a "small" price for the ticket, you then need to add on plane tickets and tons of extras and incidentals, and go when THEY tell you to essentially. You also need to be quite sure they really ARE whom they say they are - as sometimes they aren't. In those cases they are complete scams.

 

I am lost as to why she gave her bank information but then said don't charge her though - I would never give that kind of information on the phone, and particularly not if I expected them "not to charge me". I would suggest she put a stop on charges and change her bank information/account.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

i'd worry more about the scam than the $250.

 

she needs to call the telemarketing co. and cancel the trip ENTIRELY, and call the credit card company and tell them it was an unauthorized charge, and the credit card company goes back to the company and gets the charge removed.

 

she also needs to tell the credit card company she wants a new card with a new number so that these people can't charge her again later. RayKay is right, a charge for $2K may show up later as some part of what she supposedly agreed to.

 

or worse, they could be lying about who they are (i.e., NOT the company they named) and be pure scam artists.

 

one should never give out any personal or financial information to ANYONE who calls on the phone soliticiting business. there is a good chance that they are scam artists, or unethical businesses that do this kind of thing.

 

if you want a nice vacation, book through a legitimate company.

 

even if it is a timeshare, they frequently lock you in a room for 5 hours a day for a couple days, and the accommodations are NOT always nice. better to just plan and save for a normal vacation.

 

also too, watch that the 'loaning' doesn't become all one sided, where you become her banker. if it is occasional and with good reason, fine, but frequent and for escalating dollars, be cautious. she either doesn't understand money, or needs to grow up and learn to only spend what she has.

[valiantv]

he called me an idiot and said that I'd better be prepared to never see that money again.

That's a bit harsh, unless she is the type who does not pay back loans (which she doesn't appear to be)

 

I would definitely help her out in this case, I know - as you do - my girlfriend to be honest, and that it was a mistake, and that the lesson is learned.

 

2 good rules of thumb for these great deals is:

1 - If they come to you rather than you going to them, it should probably avoided... Maybe make exceptions for charities.

 

2 - If they say that you have to sign up today right now on this phone call, then forget it. They are trying to put you on the spot, and to make a decision without thinking about it.

 

If you say "I have to think about it", and they say, "What's there to think about?", don't fall for this either! Of course you don't know what there is to think about - you haven't thought about it yet! There is a reason they don't want you to think about it! If it really was a good deal then all those people who have had time to think would be calling them back. But they know (and sometimes admit, strangely!) that people who think about it don't call back!

 

OK you could miss out on the occasional great deal, but given the amount of scams out there I'd gladly miss out on a good deal like that to avoid them all.

[Meow18]

I think that it was good of you to help her out with this, especially since the trip would be partly yours.

 

If she were needing money to pay for a trip with her friends, then I would say to loan her some money, but I would be hesitant about $250. But if it's a trip for the both of you, then you can and maybe should help her out with paying.

 

Maybe this whole thing will turn out alright and you will get your cruise. However, like Raykay said, this trip is going to cost you a whole lot more than what you already paid. And really, if she is tight on money, she shouldn't be planning expensive trips right now.

 

If I were her, I would try my best to cancel everything. If I were you, I would try my best to convince her of this.