Seymore Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 My girlfriend and I have been discussing a cruise together later this year. She's a smart girl - 4.0 GPA and really hard working. She knows how to handle herself...well, most of the time. Last night she screwed up...big time. She got a call from a cruise line she gave her e-mail address to, they were offering an all-inclusive trip for two to a few different places. Nice places. Anyway, they told her she had to sign up that same day to take advantage of the offer. Now, if I were in that situation, I would've hung up right there. She didn't. She pried and asked fore more info and what the catch was, and they gave her the runaround and eventually told her we had to sit through some time share crap and just say no for 2 hours. They then said she had to give her debit/credit card number for them to initiate the process. This wasn't some company I'd never heard of, they're actually pretty well-known. Now - my girlfriend is tight with her money. TIGHT. Mostly because she doesn't make much at all and is paying off credit cards her father ran up (usually the other way around, but he was a scumbag and is out of the picture now). But for some dumb reason she gave the number and told them not to process it because she didn't have much in the bank to start with and her NY resolution was to SAVE money throughout the year to lead up to buying the tickets, not get them NOW. Well, they charged her anyway. She argued with them to take it back and that she didn't say they could do it, but they did. They essentially charged her for both of us, and now her bank account is in the negative by the cost of my ticket. She text messaged me from work to ask me if there's any way I could pay for my ticket now, it was $250. I wanted answers and we met up and discussed what happened. I told her it was fraud and she needed to talk to her bank. But in the meantime she had no money at all. I gave her the $250 and told her that if we didn't see any tickets she was paying me back. It's not going to break my bank account by any means, but the principle of the thing bugs me. I didn't speak to her for 2 hours after that, and she felt so bad she tried giving me the money back. I know she would have, and that it wasn't a game. But I knew she really needed it for books and school, etc., not a new wardrobe or anything, since she's not like that. So what would you do in this situation? Link to comment
melrich Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Work with her to sort it out. That's what partners do. Link to comment
elestat Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 I would give her the money. Whatever she wants. If you love her, thats the right thing. Link to comment
Seymore Posted January 9, 2008 Author Share Posted January 9, 2008 That's what we're trying to do. I was upset with her at first because it was so unlike her and just...stupid. But then I realized that she got scammed just the same and was taking steps to address it. Plus she was upset enough about what she had done and what happened. I was discussing this with my father (he's good with money and guides me through things like the investing process, I thought I'd get some advice from him), and he called me an idiot and said that I'd better be prepared to never see that money again. Link to comment
elestat Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 She messed up. Bail her out and you will be good to go. She will be eternally grateful. Whats a few bucks compared to a grateful and loyal GF that will probably give you sex on demand? Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Has she contacted her bank yet? They should be made aware that the charge was not authorized. Link to comment
melrich Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 he called me an idiot and said that I'd better be prepared to never see that money again. How long have you been in the relationship with her? It's only $250...you give that, you don't loan it. Link to comment
LostInMyThoughts Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 First question: did she use a credit card? As for your question: how close are you two? How long have you been dating etc. If it was a girl i've been dating for a few months, then probably not. Is she the type of person who pays back her debts? If it was someone I knew pretty well, then I would probably loan her the money. Link to comment
EQD Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 nope. i would not help unless they were my fiance, a bad decision needs to be learned from not nurtured. Link to comment
elestat Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 A hooker would cost you a lot more than $250 Link to comment
LostInMyThoughts Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 How long have you been in the relationship with her? It's only $250...you give that, you don't loan it. It really depends on the person. I could give my gf a gift worth $250 no problem, but I would never give her $250 to pay off a credit card, etc. That would have to be a loan. Link to comment
melrich Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 I could give my gf a gift worth $250 no problem, but I would never give her $250 to pay off a credit card, etc. That would have to be a loan. I agree. But in this case (and I'm assuming they have been together for some time) she was paying for part of his cruise. Sure she made a mistake but if it is a strong relationship (and they are making longer term plans) you don't quibble about $250. Link to comment
rocio Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 How long have you been in the relationship with her? It's only $250...you give that, you don't loan it. i agree - unless the two of you just started dating. Link to comment
Seymore Posted January 9, 2008 Author Share Posted January 9, 2008 We've been together a little over 4 months, but she's repaid any debt she ever had to me. Even in her financial situation, she's found a way to scrounge up money from somewhere. Not that I've been loaning her money all that time, there was one other time and that was only $100 to help her sister move. She paid every penny back. That's the thing about her - she'd give her last dollar to someone who needed it more than her. Link to comment
sti_2004 Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 do you guys not love each other?? Link to comment
LostInMyThoughts Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 I agree. But in this case (and I'm assuming they have been together for some time) she was paying for part of his cruise. Sure she made a mistake but if it is a strong relationship (and they are making longer term plans) you don't quibble about $250. Oh you're right I missed the part where it was his ticket. I would be upset that she ordered the ticket without asking, but I would pay my share. Link to comment
elestat Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 You are too money conscious. You could have made the money back by doing something else in the time you were posting your question Link to comment
melrich Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Not that I've been loaning her money all that time, there was one other time and that was only $100 to help her sister move. She paid every penny back. Then why worry. And in this case if I were you I would not even ask for it back. I get the sense from everything you have written that she will pay you back anyway. Link to comment
Seymore Posted January 9, 2008 Author Share Posted January 9, 2008 Oh you're right I missed the part where it was his ticket. I would be upset that she ordered the ticket without asking, but I would pay my share. And that's the thing - she didn't order it without discussing it with me. They told her they'd need the number that same day to process the papers to hold her spot or whatever. She wasn't aware they'd be charging the card. Link to comment
elestat Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 You could always cut peoples grass in the warm months and shovel snow in the cold weather months depending on your locale. $50 bucks a pop, x 5= good exercise, a happy GF and guaranteed sex Link to comment
melrich Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Yeah she got scammed. Do you still get the cruise though? I don't quite get that part? Link to comment
avman Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Are you more upset that she was a bit silly and got scammed? That's what it sounds like to me. Link to comment
Seymore Posted January 9, 2008 Author Share Posted January 9, 2008 We damn well better. I think I'm more upset that we (she) got scammed, presumably. Supposedly we're supposed to receive tickets in 2 weeks, and they're good to use anytime in the next two years. But some of these Boiler Room operations can say they're anyone and take the money and run. I'm ever the skeptic when it comes to money - I've been gypped my own share before. I mean, her and I are fine now. I told her to be more careful and if she ever encounters something like that to tell me about it and hang up. I don't care if it's a deal - if they're sidestepping her questions and want a credit card number NOW, it's shady, plain and simple. I love her. I'm not going to let it tear us apart or anything...not over $250, but some people think it's taboo to loan money. I just wanted to know what other people think they'd do in that situation. Link to comment
elestat Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 I still say break out the lawnmower. Problem solved. Although I didnt account for gas prices. That might cut your profit margin. Link to comment
melrich Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 OK so you get the cruise that you were planning anyway...where's the harm? You'd have paid for your half anyway I assume. Link to comment
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