i cracked. im an idiot.

[vouge_idea]

You are making me feel bad for making you feel bad.

 

Yeah, there's a good chance he is not coming back and you have to accept that as a possibility.

 

then why did he tell me we were still together? it makes no sense.

[shoegal21]

stop thinking he won't be back and start thinking that he will.

 

go on with your life with the thought that he will be back. you'll be so much more humble and happy.

[JeckyllNHyde]

ok well that's a very good thing.

look at it this way.

let's say things go wrong and it ends.

you where happy and you still are happy with yourself and how your life is.

so as long as you realise him walking away is not the end of the world, you will be ok.

[JadedStar]

You made some very good points - and especially about her living in a small town. VI if you keep this up he is liable to label you as a real nutjob and given his personality type he'd be just the kind of guy to do it. YOu need to stop before you lose the rest of your dignity.

 

And yes! Let this be a learning oppty for you! If you learn nothing from this for future relationships than all of this will have been in vain.

[JadedStar]

stop thinking he won't be back and start thinking that he will.

 

go on with your life with the thought that he will be back. you'll be so much more humble and happy.

 

To be honest as tumultuous as this relationship is she would fare better by making herself believe it's over and move on. When they were together she didn't seem very happy given all the threads she posted about how he'd flip out over crap and accuse her of cheating all the time.

 

I think when one is hurting it is easy to forget the bad times.

[vouge_idea]

I am not happy though. If he ends it, I will not be happy.

 

I want him. I want him in my life.

 

I love eveything about him. We were so close. So comfortable. when that boy took my hand all my problems were so far away. His touch made everything so much better. HE wrote me this saying one time when we went out to eat, he wrote it on a paper napkin holder. He put it in my togo box and didn't tell me he put it there. So when I went to eat my left overs I pulled out a little green piece of paper that said,

 

"Your beautiful green eyes make my life worth saving."

 

I will never forget that. I carry the paper w/me in my wallet.

 

When we were writing our christmas list of things we needed to get, instead of writing the things I was naming off he wrote

 

"Your so beautiful

I love you so much

Youre my baby

Your love"

 

It was just so cute. And it's the little things like that; that means so much to me. And make me miss him so much..............

 

I don't want it to be over. We were barely getting started. We weren't even given a real chance..............

 

I j...want

[JadedStar]

VI feelings can change inside of people over time. I don't know if his have or not but there is a good possibility.

 

I think that you lost yourself since you have been dating him and relationships where one or both parties do this are not healthy and almost always destined to fail ...

[vouge_idea]

I don't want to be with anyone else.

 

I can't. If he leaves me, I may never get over him.

[wiser]

No one is irreplaceable. He's really isn't as great as you think he is.

[vouge_idea]

Im going to stay as positive as possible.

 

He's coming back. He just wants a little space that's all. He'll be back.

 

I just need to have some faith in him and quit getting myself so worked up.

 

I've given no time.

 

We're still together. He loves me. He misses me. He's just stronger than I am.

 

He'll be my Christmas present.

[greensleeves]

You WILL get over him. It just feels that way now because your emotions are raw and you have not had enough time to process what is happening yet. That will come ...just get through it minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day. But you need to stop calling him etc. How long has it been since you last contacted him?

 

It does sound like you are seriously obsessing over him, and although that is understandable to some degree, you need to find strength within yourself to pick yourself up and keep going. Go rent another funny movie or two (not one that you saw with him). Do whatever you need to do to think of something else. Clean out your closet and drawers, wash your floors, go for a walk, call a friend, surf the net, do NOT listen to sad songs.

 

Start reading some of the other threads on this site. Sometimes looking at what other people are going through can take the focus off of your own problems and help you get through the day. Right now you are probably not eating or sleeping properly, which only magnifies everything and weakens your resolve. Go out and pick up some healthy food that will nourish your body.

 

You CAN do this!!!! Think about what kind of a person he really is. You are focusing on the cute little things he did for you, but surely what he has just done is not kind or "cute". Do you feel you deserved this treatment? If not, then think about that...does he deserve the energy you are currently giving him or should you be devoting that energy and love to yourself instead?

 

I guarantee that if you give it time, keep yourself busy with other things and take care of yourself you will start to feel better and you will be able to look at this situation from a different perspective, but you need to be willing to make the effort...not to get him back, but to look after you. You are who is important right now.

[vouge_idea]

Thank you. The last time I contacted him was at his basketball game which was 2 days ago. I didn't call him at all yesterday or lastnight, but I did call this morning but he didn't answer.

 

And you're right, im not eating and im not sleeping properly. He wasn't always the perfect boyfriend and he did do things to hurt me, but who doesn't? No relationship is perfect. But we were happy. We loved being with eachother.

 

Im going to keep it in my head that he is coming back. IT's what I need to do to be OK. If I think that way then I won't drive myself nuts. We've broken up so many times and we've ALWAYS gotten back together ... this time won't be any different. It's just taking more time that's all.

 

this isn't the first time he pulled this crap, but we've always gotten back together.

[wiser]

We've broken up so many times and we've ALWAYS gotten back together ... this time won't be any different. It's just taking more time that's all.

 

Whoa!

 

You broke up "many times" before????

 

And how did you handle the other breakups? How long did they last? Were you able to handle not calling him? Who came back to who? Who wanted the breakup?

 

Please answer completely within oval circles on the answer sheet. Be sure to fully erase any errant pencil marks.

[vouge_idea]

Whoa!

 

You broke up "many times" before????

 

And how did you handle the other breakups? How long did they last? Were you able to handle not calling him? Who came back to who? Who wanted the breakup?

 

Please answer completely within oval circles on the answer sheet. Be sure to fully erase any errant pencil marks.

 

Well, he cheated on me two weeks in. So I obviously broke up with him. I took him back two weeks later. New years eve I broke up with him again because he kept accusing ME of cheating. After that we didn't talk for a long time. He was the one who contacted me.......we slept together a couple times and then I moved. The entire time I was gone we would talk about getting back together & then on Valentines day he asked me back out. I moved back in April. After this there were probably 4-5 more times that I broke up with him because of a bunch of different reasons. The breakups never lasted any longer then like 1-2 days. The longest we've ever gone is like half a month ..... but even then we were still talking. He was always the one chasing me. Up until now we've been great. Not even fighting......no breaking up. But This is the first time that he has ever initated a break up..........and he really didn't even break up sooo

[vouge_idea]

you all wonder why im so insecure.

[wiser]

This is the first time that he initiated the breakup. It's out of your control, and that's the hardest part for you to deal with.

 

See, this supports some of the stuff I told you as well as others. If there is any chance of turning this thing around, you have to re-establish the "control" that you had before, when YOU were the one initiating the breakups.

 

You need to stop caring so much, and take the attitude that you have had enough of his BS, and YOU will not accept his "confusion" and his mistreatment of you. Don't get sad, get mad...channel your negative energy more productively.

[vouge_idea]

This is the first time that he initiated the breakup. It's out of your control, and that's the hardest part for you to deal with.

 

See, this supports some of the stuff I told you as well as others. If there is any chance of turning this thing around, you have to re-establish the "control" that you had before, when YOU were the one initiating the breakups.

 

You need to stop caring so much, and take the attitude that you have had enough of his BS, and YOU will not accept his "confusion" and his mistreatment of you. Don't get sad, get mad...channel your negative energy more productively.

 

he initiated space, not that we break up. that's why i am so confused. Once my friend is back I will be able to have that attitude. I will be distracted.......and I bet you once I get back on my feet is when he'll be back....right?

[wiser]

he initiated space, not that we break up. that's why i am so confused. Once my friend is back I will be able to have that attitude. I will be distracted.......and I bet you once I get back on my feet is when he'll be back....right?

 

vouge, call it what it is, baby. You are currently "broken up". It could be a week, or a month, or forever. He is telling everyone but you that you two are broken up, he wants his space, he is unsure about the future.

 

You need to get back on your feet without him. Be independent and strong, and give him, or the next guy, a reason to want to be with you.

 

You already have the looks. Now work on your emotional strength.

[vouge_idea]

vouge, call it what it is, baby. You are currently "broken up". It could be a week, or a month, or forever. He is telling everyone but you that you two are broken up, he wants his space, he is unsure about the future.

 

You need to get back on your feet without him. Be independent and strong, and give him, or the next guy, a reason to want to be with you.

 

You already have the looks. Now work on your emotional strength.

 

I just cannot accept that we are broken up because he told me we weren't. He told me that we were still together and that he wants me in his life. That he still only has eyes for me.

 

I have this strong feeling that he will be back just as soon as I am ok and out with MY friends.

[Aleadragonhawk]

I just cannot accept that we are broken up because he told me we weren't. He told me that we were still together and that he wants me in his life. That he still only has eyes for me.

 

I have this strong feeling that he will be back just as soon as I am ok and out with MY friends.

 

Focusing on yourself will be good either way, so I strongly support this.

[sandyv]

Hey VI, I lost track of this thread, I'm glad to hear you are hanging in, I've thought about you plenty.

 

Let him go ... at least for now.... if it was meant to be hun, he'll be back, just hang on please?

 

xxx

 

Sandy

[vouge_idea]

Hey VI, I lost track of this thread, I'm glad to hear you are hanging in, I've thought about you plenty.

 

Let him go ... at least for now.... if it was meant to be hun, he'll be back, just hang on please?

 

xxx

 

Sandy

 

Thanks Sandy, I have a feeling he'll be back just as soon as I pick up and get on my feet. He will eventually wonder what I am doing.

 

I am trying so hard to be positive. Trying so hard to think he's coming back. Am I faking that im ok at all? Im trying to fake it. Writing positive thoughts helps.......now I just have to think them.

[vouge_idea]

......................................day two......................still no call.....................still no nothin.......................sucks...............

[sandyv]

Yep VI, be strong, you can do it, and you will do it....

 

You are a beautiful girl, and he's a fool to chance losing you... hold on.... there is NO time limit on these things.

[wiser]

......................................day two......................still no call.....................still no nothin.......................sucks...............

 

vougue...are you having your period or something?