i cracked. im an idiot.

[wiser]

Why is everyone being so negative???

 

Yes I wonder that too. From what I know of the history here, there have been many break ups and get back togethers. It will probably happen again.

 

Because the relationship is stormy, and everytime they break up the OP is going to go through this, and to what end? Thinking long term, where can this relationship possibly go? Especially now, because for the "first time" as per the OP, the breakup is entirely his doing.

 

She has him exactly where he wants her.

[barbielovesmac]

In my experience it's the first step towards wanted to break up and in most instances it is a 'test breakup'.

 

Again, I could absolutely be wrong but I am telling what I know based on my experiences.

 

Of course you are only speaking from your experiences. And lets hope for VI's sake that your experience doesn't turn out to be hers.

 

I think there is some hope. I see all of this as a 'good sign' but again, that's just me.

[melrich]

Like I said prior I would not even encourage a family member that I dearly loved that these were good signs when they don't appear to be and also because this guy has been verbally abusive to her since the day she started posting about him here.

 

But why get so angry about it.

 

This girl knows it's a toxic relationship. She knows she should be out of it. She has been posting along those lines for 6 months. No one has been able to make her act on her logic yet.

 

Now she wants to believe what she wants to believe. And I actually have little doubt that they WILL be back together at some point. Is that good? Probably not but look at her past record. She's not going to listen to either her own logic or yours.

 

I just don't understand why people are getting so frustrated when her track record is plainly there to see. You've given advice. No need to flog the crap out of a dead horse. IMHO.

[barbielovesmac]

She has him exactly where he wants her.

 

wiser, explain?

[JadedStar]

But why get so angry about it.

 

This girl knows it's a toxic relationship. She knows she should be out of it. She has been posting along those lines for 6 months. No one has been able to make her act on her logic yet.

 

Now she wants to believe what she wants to believe. And I actually have little doubt that they WILL be back together at soem point. Is that good? Probably not but look at her past record. She's not going to listen to either her own logic or yours.

 

I just don't understand why people are getting so fristrated when the track record is plainly there to see. You've given advice. No need to flog the crap out of a dead horse. IMHO.

 

If we just decided to give up on every poster that had a pointless post without giving it every possible angle the forum would have far fewer threads and posts...I do understand what you are saying but melrich it is usually human inclination when you have been replying to a thread to continue to reply in hopes that something might turn on a lightbulb.

[wiser]

wiser, explain?

 

Only if you post another picture of yourself, Barbie. Kidding!

 

I was trying to make the point that what happens between them going forward is entirely up to her "boyfriend". He knows he has her totally wrapped around his finger because of the clingy, pathetic way she is acting. It was apparently not like this before, since "she was the one who always broke it off".

 

The way I wrote it was a more sarcastic way of saying "he has her exactly where he wants her".

 

Even if the "relationship" goes on, he is going to totally take her for granted. It's almost impossible for him not to.

[Hope75]

I don't think it's fair to give advice that I don't agree with, and I don't think it does Vogue any good either.

 

She's asking for opinions and she is getting them. She can use what she finds useful and leave the rest behind.

[Hope75]

But why get so angry about it.

 

This girl knows it's a toxic relationship. She knows she should be out of it. She has been posting along those lines for 6 months. No one has been able to make her act on her logic yet.

 

Now she wants to believe what she wants to believe. And I actually have little doubt that they WILL be back together at some point. Is that good? Probably not but look at her past record. She's not going to listen to either her own logic or yours.

 

I just don't understand why people are getting so frustrated when her track record is plainly there to see. You've given advice. No need to flog the crap out of a dead horse. IMHO.

 

Can you, in good faith, give her any other advice than what she is getting- knowing the track record of this relationship?

 

I'm not angry, the OP comes back and posts new scenarios and asks for help, and I offer what advice I have.

[shoegal21]

Each and every one of you is entitled to your own opinion. But we are now losing sight of this thread. This thread isn't here to argue...blah blah blah...

 

It's to help her out. So let's stop this 'debate' and focus on the OP.

[melrich]

If we just decided to give up on every poster that had a pointless post without giving it every possible angle the forum would have far fewer threads and posts

 

Well Jaded, if every thread got to 320 posts we would have real server problems.

 

If you think at post 500 you are going to turn it around, go for it but I think all you are all doing at this point is saying the same stuff over and over and frustrating each other.

[wiser]

I think all you are all doing at this point is saying the same stuff over and over and frustrating each other.

 

Thanks for saying that, Melrich. Whew. I honestly thought I was getting repeated attacks of Deja Vu.

[barbielovesmac]

Only if you post another picture of yourself, Barbie. Kidding!

 

I was trying to make the point that what happens between them going forward is entirely up to her "boyfriend". He knows he has her totally wrapped around his finger because of the clingy, pathetic way she is acting. It was apparently not like this before, since "she was the one who always broke it off".

 

The way I wrote it was a more sarcastic way of saying "he has her exactly where he wants her".

 

Even if the "relationship" goes on, he is going to totally take her for granted. It's almost impossible for him not to.

 

Oh ok, I see what you are getting at and you may be right.

 

The ball is completely in his court, both him and her know that right now.

 

But I agree with shoegal on this one, lets just stop this and focus on helping her.

 

She is here for advice and support. She hasn't left this site for the past 5-6 days. We are here to help. And I think we've been doing a pretty good darn job!

 

She obviously knows that she can come here for support, so lets keep it that way.

[melrich]

Yeah. Unfortunately this thread is at about the same point it was at post number 100. And I can sense all that is happening is posters are getting angry at the OP.

 

There has to be a point, in my mind, where you let things take their course. She will be back.

[wiser]

Yeah. Unfortunately this thread is at about the same point it was at post number 100. And I cans ense all that is happening is posters are getting angry at the OP.

 

I can also sense that this thread is doing some wonderful things to my post count.

[barbielovesmac]

All we can do is offer our support and she has continued to come back because she knows that. Lets keep it that way.

 

Lets not get mad at her and scare her off.

 

Ultimately, she is going to do what she wants to do in the end. We cannot change that.

[JadedStar]

Yeah. Unfortunately this thread is at about the same point it was at post number 100. And I can sense all that is happening is posters are getting angry at the OP.

 

There has to be a point, in my mind, where you let things take their course. She will be back.

 

The length of time threads run is often directly linked to the a amount of time the OP keeps asking questions. Most that only go on a few pages the OP gets what they were looking for or just decides to move on. She continued to ask questions thru all of these pages...would it be better to have ignored the questions? I am not being faceitous I am being serious...because once I have started responding to a thread more than a couple of times I tend to go back and try to continue to respond for so long as the OP asks questions. I honestly thought that was what most people do or should do.

[wiser]

because once I have started responding to a thread more than a couple of times I tend to go back and try to continue to respond for so long as the OP asks questions. I honestly thought that was what most people do or should do.

 

I agree. This thread has been an anchor for the OP. The problem occurs when a poster says something the OP doesnt want to hear, so she bolts. But of course, opinions shouldn't be "sugar coated just to appease the OP. Sometimes it's a delicate balance.

 

Hey, anyone want to play Monopoly?

[barbielovesmac]

I am being serious...because once I have started responding to a thread more than a couple of times I tend to go back and try to continue to respond for so long as the OP asks questions. I honestly thought that was what most people do or should do.

 

I do the same and I believe that we should.

 

I truly believe that we have been her support system for the past 5 days.

 

Please, lets continue to help her.

[barbielovesmac]

 

Hey, anyone want to play Monopoly?

 

Now that's not very nice.

[vouge_idea]

I've appreciated EVERYONES advice on here. This has been my support system for the past 5 days.

 

I am going to do what I want in the end. But I must say I have stopped myself from doing stupid things with the help of all the advice i've received.

 

I am now trying to be positive. I want to be with this man and nothing will change that.

 

This morning gave me some hope. IT really did. It's making my day so much easier. Just knowing that I was finally able to talk to him has taken ALOT off my shoulders.

 

Yes, what happens to this relationship is clearly up to him right now. I have no control over that. Nothing I say, or do will change his mind. It's up to him.

 

He didn't end it this morning when he had the chance. Like I said, I even told him to if that's what he wanted. He didn't. That gave me hope. He walked away from with a "we're fine, we're ok, we're together" and that was enough for me.

[wiser]

Now that's not very nice.

 

Barbie, you should see what I said to her in PMs. Well, it took her mind off him for a bit.

[vouge_idea]

Wiser,

 

You my friend have been a big help. Sarcastic and harsh? Yes Helpful? Most certainly.

 

I will let you know what happens tonight. Hopefully I will have made hot passionate love Hey! A girl can wish ... he has to be horny by now LOL!

[wiser]

Wiser,

 

You my friend have been a big help. Sarcastic and harsh? Yes Helpful? Most certainly.

 

I think I deserve at least one more picture then.

[vouge_idea]

I think I deserve at least one more picture then.

 

ehhhh no, lol

[wiser]

ehhhh no, lol

 

vouge, I thought we already agreed that I am not an imprisoned pervert who downloads pictures for a collage who can track down where you live via satellite IP address tracing.