He's 25 year old virgin and never had a girlfriend before

[MD Geist]

I've thought about hiring an escort but in the end I could spend my money somewhere else in my life so I don't. Its simply to risky and the rate of return isn't as rewarding in my opinion. I think if anything my life would be broken if I lost my virginity to a prosistue.

 

So I have came to a complete conclusion where if I don't have a g/f I won't seek sex because I think it wouldn't make much sense to tell a girl that you've never dated but your not a virgin either thats more of a redflag than just being a total virgin.

 

I'am 22 and almost 23 and i'am still a virgin, never had a g/f, never been kissed extc...extc...women will think i'am a loser or i'am weird for being a virgin at a later age but you know what I honestly don't care much anymore like I used to. I'am just thinkful that I can say my life is together dispite I don't have a love of my life nor I never will be in love. With that said I can die a virgin.

[Luke Skywalker]

I've thought about hiring an escort but in the end I could spend my money somewhere else in my life so I don't. Its simply to risky and the rate of return isn't as rewarding in my opinion. I think if anything my life would be broken if I lost my virginity to a prosistue.

 

I've never been with an escort either. However, I've read posts, such as on this thread, and on other boards, of guys who have lost their virginity with escorts and either had a nice experience or don't regret what they've done.

 

Everybody has a different sort of story on their experience. Oh yeah, I'd use an escort as a last resort for being rejected by virtually everyone to get laid. That scenerio has never happened yet and just remains a negative fictional scenerio -- sort of a personal doomsday where it just wont matter. I'm not at that low point in my life where this is a possibility. I still believe I could get laid if I really wanted to and pursued that sort of lifestyle. My own religious beliefs and set-up will ensure that lifestyle remains a fantasy for just masturbation and fleshlgiht.

 

 

So I have came to a complete conclusion where if I don't have a g/f I won't seek sex because I think it wouldn't make much sense to tell a girl that you've never dated but your not a virgin either thats more of a redflag than just being a total virgin.

 

Who said you have to be dead honest to everyone? Most successful people with ladies and elsewhere in life, had to fib or lie to portray themselves in an acceptable way to other people.

 

Are you going to really broadcast to everyone you went with a prostitute or just lost your virginity? If so, then the problem you have is you are too honest. I have that problem too. While it's good to be honest, it's also good to be tactful.

 

You can tell the truth, but you don't have to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

 

I'am 22 and almost 23 and i'am still a virgin, never had a g/f, never been kissed extc...extc...women will think i'am a loser or i'am weird for being a virgin at a later age but you know what I honestly don't care much anymore like I used to. I'am just thinkful that I can say my life is together dispite I don't have a love of my life nor I never will be in love. With that said I can die a virgin.

 

Well, you are just 22 going into 23. I'm in contrast 32 going into 33. Believe me, this crap wont bother you later on.

 

I'm just saying. You have a full life ahead of you and this shouldn't bother you at this time.

 

Secondly, you don't have to broadcast this out. People, in general, do not air their dirty laundry to wreck impressions. Successful people are great at lying to people -- to make them believe what they want to hear. I'm not saying that you should lie -- but you have control over what information comes out of your mouth. If you feel you'll say something that will portray yourself in a negative light, then don't say it, people don't have to know.

[dr_styles]

Aside from this forum, I've only discussed it with perhaps three individuals in my entire life; each of those occurred when I was far younger, and in each of those cases the response was to either laugh at me or tell me that any guy lacking experience by then would end up as a child molester.

 

Luckily I've got a couple of really close friends I can still talk to about it - they're in a similar situation so we can have a productive conversation about it (even if it's just a bit of spilling/sympathetic ear to feel better).

 

Rest of the "mates" though I would never say it. I mean most people would probably think it when they look at how I seem to never be doing anything fun or talking about girls/dates but at least I don't "encourage" bringing it up.

 

Virgin I've admitted though; not very social they can see, but down to the never had a date/kiss/etc. is definitely off the cards.

[somethngwrng]

Noone in real life knew of my status. There were a few times where I could stretch the truth, which I did - I learned early in life that admitting I was a virgin didn't help in any way. Even close friends would make fun of me for it.

 

I didn't even tell the girl I lost my virginity to, that I'd just lost it to her... no point.

[chris1984]

Getting your first girl is a little like getting your first job. You can't put yourself out there or you will never get it unless you are really really a great person or the manager is your dad. You have to make yourself look good. If you have to lie then, go ahead but don't exaggerate. After a few experience you can be confident enough to "be yourself". Remember that most bad boys are regular people who became bad boys after they nailed a few hot chicks. They were not born bad boys. by nailing more chicks, you get the attention of even more chicks wondering what you really have to offer. that is why you see all the chicks running behind the same assholes. You can be those assholes too. but you need to start somewhere. I don't regret one bit having done what I did. Cause today I am a long long way from where I was. For your question, yes it bothered me more to be a virgin at 25 and to lose it to a hooker. I knew what to expect after those few sexual experience and I wasn't too nervous with my first girlfriend, and actually she never knew she was my first real girl.

[MD Geist]

Maybe I should become a Jerk, a Liar and a cheater because those people seem to be more successful with women.

 

 

If I lied to her and said I wasn't a virgin anymore there wouldn't be much to stress over and the problem would be solved.

[LightbulbSun]

I'm too nervous to go see a prostitute. First off, I'd like my first experience to be something I'd remember fondly (someone I was in love with), not something I had to pay for to get it over with. A lot of people have a great experience when they first lose their virginity...what am I supposed to say? Oh yeah, I had to pay for it, because I thought no one wanted me. Great way to batter my self esteem even more.

 

My problem is self esteem issues, I know that. I've had opportunities, I just screwed them up. And losing my virginity isn't going to help my self esteem if the rest of my self image is screwed up. I just need to work on self esteem issues in order to get a girlfriend, and not disclose that part of me (being a virgin) until I feel she'd be comfortable with it, or maybe never disclose it.

[CaseOfInsanity]

Wow. So, using a hooker, ' a few times', got you out of the 'mess' that you were in? How was the first, or subsequent experiences like? How did it feel on the mind that you had to pay for it to get some? It sounds like a positive experience for you?

 

From what I've read, using a hooker truly is a crapshoot. If you don't get ripped off, then this post, and some others appear to have positive results. Others, however, have been more negative.

 

But didn't you know what your penis size is? How is going to a hooker going to let you know how big your penis is? That part I do not understand.

 

You know, I was wondering the same thing once.

 

It's kind of random to say but I've read a model essay on a film 'One Flew Over a Cuckoo's Nest' when I was in high school and it really hitted the nail on the head.

 

In the film, there is a character called Billy Bibbit, A nervous, shy patient with an extreme speech impediment who was being treated like a child despite his age being in his thirties. To alleviate Billy's fear of women, McMurphy, the main character in the film, sneaks a prostitute into the ward so Billy can lose his virginity.

The loss of virginity is shown to be a positive. Nurse Ratched finds Billy and the prostitute in each other's arms, partially dressed, and admonishes him. Billy asserts himself for the first time, answering Nurse Ratched without stuttering.

[Luke Skywalker]

I'm too nervous to go see a prostitute. First off, I'd like my first experience to be something I'd remember fondly (someone I was in love with), not something I had to pay for to get it over with. A lot of people have a great experience when they first lose their virginity...what am I supposed to say? Oh yeah, I had to pay for it, because I thought no one wanted me. Great way to batter my self esteem even more.

 

Allot of people also have a horrible experience losing their virginity, with the other partner being a non-prostitute. There are so many factors that are involved on why people may think sex is amazing, or why they may think it is disgusting.

 

 

My problem is self esteem issues, I know that. I've had opportunities, I just screwed them up. And losing my virginity isn't going to help my self esteem if the rest of my self image is screwed up. I just need to work on self esteem issues in order to get a girlfriend, and not disclose that part of me (being a virgin) until I feel she'd be comfortable with it, or maybe never disclose it.

 

What sort of self esteem issues do you have? Yeah, that's right, what's the big deal with virginity anyway, especially if it's done that way. You want to feel that someone was at least attracted to you that you have sex with. Once you pay for it, you don't even have that. It sort of sends a message that the only attractive element is the ability to have money to pay someone to tolerate you enough for a lengh of time so you can have sex with them while their heart is somewhere else. You would have to swallow your ego and pride to even accept such an experience.

[Ramm Zwei]

I'm too nervous to go see a prostitute. First off, I'd like my first experience to be something I'd remember fondly (someone I was in love with), not something I had to pay for to get it over with. A lot of people have a great experience when they first lose their virginity...what am I supposed to say? Oh yeah, I had to pay for it, because I thought no one wanted me. Great way to batter my self esteem even more.

 

Yeah I remember wondering that myself a few years back. But then I went past the point of no return when I realized that I wouldn't know what love is like even if it was right in front of me. My bitterness and utter disappointment with humanity has destroyed my capacity to love or be loved. If I ever have sex it's because I just need to fulfill an all too human need. Other than that I don't care about being intimate with another human being on an emotional level. That capacity was destroyed after realizing that I was only being taken advantage of by many people who claimed to be my friend. And when I used to try to be friendly, it was so obvious that one time even someone pointed out that I was "trying to bond" with them.

 

The point is that you may still have hope. But wait it out a few years as all the internalized anger and bitterness purify you of most of your human faults and see how you start to see things from an almost purely mechanical point of view. The you would see sex for what it is and once you do, you wouldn't mind the thought of losing it to a prostitute.

 

 

 

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[SweetSara]

Wow...it sounds like you have a great attitude and that is probably why he likes you so much. It sounds like a great match and I don't think you need any advice! Some people are late bloomers..there could be far worse!

[dr_styles]

I think we should re-clarify a distinction in this thread though. The basis of the thread (at least from what I remember, lol) is how an older zero-experience guy is perceived, whereas the self-feeling of being a zero-experience guy is slightly different in that it's a personal thing.

 

I guess my point is that if you "concede" and get an ugly girl (your opinion) for any date, or a prostitute for any sex, or whatever, to get the monkey off your back, you wouldn't exactly tell them anyway - like just lie essentially if asked ... how is that any different from not doing any of the above and just lying anyway.

 

I'm not dissing the people who have btw. Like I'm sure you'd still learn a few things from a dud first date which I am tempted to try and do. Just posting my thoughts and how I (currently) see things anyway. As someone mentioned if you have low self-esteem getting laid may not fix that either and you'll be back where you were before.

 

I'm already in the mid-20's-dateless category so maybe it's too late for me in regards to stigma/perception ...

[steve33]

If it doesn't weird you out, why did you write the post? So it does weird you out that no female has ever desired him before, so you don't have the seal of approval. I predict you will very quickly lose interest in him, break his heart, and he'll be devestated.

[NJRon]

If it doesn't weird you out, why did you write the post? So it does weird you out that no female has ever desired him before, so you don't have the seal of approval. I predict you will very quickly lose interest in him, break his heart, and he'll be devestated.

 

Since the topic was created over a year ago, I wonder how it ended up myself

[steve33]

Since the topic was created over a year ago, I wonder how it ended up myself

 

Wow, I never even noticed that. I bet she got bored of that really quickly.

[LightbulbSun]

Wow, I never even noticed that. I bet she got bored of that really quickly.

 

How do you know that? Maybe they're still going together, and she got past the 25 year old virgin angle.

 

It's threads like these that bring hope to late bloomers on enotalone. Don't spoil it with your negative comments.

[jonny15]

I do wonder how it went?

 

I'm in the same boat as the guy when it comes to expierence. 25, No sex, kissing, or anything. It sucks,

 

Along with no female to write about it online. lol

[steve33]

How do you know that? Maybe they're still going together, and she got past the 25 year old virgin angle.

 

It's threads like these that bring hope to late bloomers on enotalone. Don't spoil it with your negative comments.

 

I'm just being realistic. The vast, vast majority of women prefer men that other women desire. Virgins don't fit the bill.

[Taomagicdragon]

Being a virgin or not and being desirable aren't connected and to assume such is a false leap in logic.

[LightbulbSun]

I'm just being realistic. The vast, vast majority of women prefer men that other women desire. Virgins don't fit the bill.

 

How do you know that? Have you dated every woman in the world? Do you have any proof that 'the majority' prefer men who other women desire?

 

It sounds like you're subscribing to that PUA garbage.

[JenniferSNJ]

To all those boys without experience- I would gladly date someone who had no experience if I thought we would make a good match. I would rather date a virgin than someone whose slept with 10+ people. I don't think the inexperience is as much of a turn-off to women as you think it is. It's more about your confidence level. Just keep living your life- work on advancing your career, pursuing hobbies, getting in shape, having experiences and you WILL meet a girl that fits you.

 

I hope my soulmate is out there living life to the fullest right now so that when I meet him we have lots of stuff to talk about!

[ellandroader]

You're obviously excited about this and so you should be. Don't hold it against him that he is a virgin and not been in a relationship. He may have just been waiting for someone he truly likes (those guys do exist!) and if she is shy - well maybe he had an issue with that? I had/have social phobia and that made dating and meeting girls very difficult.

 

If he treats you well and shows that he cares, then by all means if you like him go with it.

[dr_styles]

I don't think the inexperience is as much of a turn-off to women as you think it is.

 

I've seen my mate get turned down because she would've been his first relationship so I still think the proportions the other way.

 

I'm just being realistic. The vast, vast majority of women prefer men that other women desire. Virgins don't fit the bill.

 

Being a virgin or not and being desirable aren't connected and to assume such is a false leap in logic.

 

No, but never having a Girlfriend fits the bill.

It's not necessarily that you aren't "desirable", but there "must be" something wrong with him. A red flag/doubt is very powerful.

[Luke Skywalker]

I've seen my mate get turned down because she would've been his first relationship so I still think the proportions the other way.

 

But I've never been absolutely turned down for either sex (Nov/06 - but I turned it down), or for a relationship (Dec/Jan/07) on the basis of the other person knowing they would be my first time, or first relationship.

 

I don't think my luck, and possibily your mate's luck is any much different than if the person wasn't his first, women reject guys all the time for sometimes the silliest of reasons. If some guy was some muscular ripped guy that would look like a male model and claimed that she would be the first relationship -- then I'm sure she would not look for some silly excuses but think he is lying or pulling her leg. It's just more insulting when a woman looks for some insecurity or 'blood' and pounces on that while they are rejecting. Some people are just asking for it.

 

No, but never having a Girlfriend fits the bill.

It's not necessarily that you aren't "desirable", but there "must be" something wrong with him. A red flag/doubt is very powerful.

 

Looks is the bottom line. Your mate probably looked below average or something, or maybe he subcommunicaed something.

 

Either way, it's the wrong girl. People start taking one stupid rejection and blowing it out of proportion. Making theories, statements, or stuff like that. I find it very hard to believe that if this guy was everything this girl really wanted she would turn him down because of this.

 

The real explanation if you still haven't got it, is she was never really interested in him in the first place, or the connection wasn't there if that's the only excuse she has to turn him down, or even uses that. So what if she is just sitting on the fence. I guarantee, if a woman's interest level if even over 65% - this stuff doesn't matter.

 

This woman here had an interest level of barely 51% to make a rejection like that. With such a low interest level, there's a 90% chance she'd reject him for some other explanation as she finds faults with him elsewhere. Maybe it's the way he dresses. Maybe he says something off colour by accident. Who knows? I think people are confusing interest level. A real woman who is seriously interested in a guy wouldn't care if a guy is a virgin or not, or if he had a girlfriend before or not. You can get a superficial phoney a dime a dozen -- at least your mate can naturally weed them out before they waste his time and use him until they ultimately get the bigger better deal.

[Neat-O Guy]

I stumbled accross this thread and had to shake my head at all of the posts where guys are talking about giving up on the greatest thing you could ever have in this world.

 

To think that it's somehow impossible is nonsense. Yes - in every case, even with the guy who decided to accept that he was "not meant to reproduce." I have seen literally all kinds of people in all kinds of (even terrible) situations who found love. Midgets, the mentally retarded, people with deformities. There is literally someone for everyone.

 

I had extreme shyness growing up. At age 23 I had never been on a date, kissed a girl, or obviously had sex or been in a relationship. I had a grand total of 1 friend. Then I decided to make turning around my social life the singular focus of my existence, and things have changed dramatically in the last 17 months. You can do it too!!

 

Never, never, never, never give up

- Winston Churchill