Thinking out loud about prostitutes

[Boldger]

Its not, though. It's her opinion as to what she does to find pleasure. There are people that sex is not an issue, they don't measure their life's value by the amount of sex they've have. If it is just another pleasurable act, like going to a movie, then any substitution would do. So, in turn, why waste the money if pleasure can be found for free.

 

It is irrelevant. The OP is not trying to find life's greatest pleasure, as it was so aptly put. I would also argue that the amount of time and energy, both physical and mental, that it takes to maintain a stable relationship is far more costly than one night with a prostitute. (The risk/reward ratio may be better but that's not what's being discussed.)

 

Anyways, you're assuming that all measures of pleasure are the same. You might pay for some pleasure and not for others simply because it would be ridiculous to have sex every time you wanted to go to the movies just because the movie costs more and the sex would be free.

 

With so many people open to casual sex nowadays, it is strange to me that a young man would go the tougher and rougher prostitution route.

 

It is legal where the OP lives, and because of its legality is a more professional business compared to what you might see here in the US.

[kmae23]

I think it's pretty safe to say although women and men have similar views of sex, this is one they do not agree on. Most women have to like the man to have sex with them, so it is easy for women to intellectualize the situation and think about the position the prostitute is in.

 

Some of them may like sex, but isn't really pretty assumptive to think she wants her * * * * anywhere close to her? All she wants is your money. Maybe she will enjoy it as much as you but I really doubt it.

 

You are young and will end up dating again. It's inevitable. If you really just want a relationship for sex, then maybe you should work on your views of love, sex and caring. Be honest with yourself and realize this might bite you in the ass later. Obviously it is a concern if you are posting.

 

My father saw a prostitute over 20 years ago and can't live it down, my ex saw one a couple years ago in amsterdam and of course didn't tell me but his friend did. It did change my views of him because I believe he already tend to objectify women. he likes dirty anonymous sex but admits it is self-destructive and I really believe he regrets it all. It is just head * * * *ing, masturbation with another body. Is this really that pleasurable? If you can honestly answer yes, then go for it. You must like dirty meaningless sex. It doesn't matter how you dress it up. But don't go trying to pretend you have any kind of romantic ideology about love/sex. Saying you will never date is unreasonable. Don't lie to yourself so you can submit to your passions. if you want to philosophize something than realize your not using reason here in your arguments for the pro of the subject. And really I would venture to guess it doesn't jive with your moral ideals.

[CarnelianButterfly]

It is legal where the OP lives, and because of its legality is a more professional business compared to what you might see here in the US.

 

I live in a city where prostitution is essentially legal, and where prostitutes carry cellphones and dress like other businesswomen and have the same standards of hygiene as "normal people".

 

Its not legal, he said essentially legal, which still means illegal.

 

There are places in the US where it is a business. Like all business some are better than others. How do you know you're getting a good prostitute though? Is there a Better Business Bureau for sex workers? There is no way to really tell if they are truly clean. Do they have displays in the window of their health statistics? What diseases they were tested for, the results, the date of the tests? In California food places are required to have their health department scores displayed in the window, that's just for a place to eat, if sex was truly a regulated business it would mean stringent guidelines and regulation. Until then, its a crap shoot.

[JadedStar]

Someone in the early stages of AIDS isn't going to look unhealthy, so saying they walk around looking healthy and businesslike is a really poor gauge for sizing up how "clean" one might be.

[kmae23]

Someone in the early stages of AIDS isn't going to look unhealthy, so saying they walk around looking healthy and businesslike is a really poor gauge for sizing up how "clean" one might be.

 

Very good point. I mean drug addicts in orange county look pretty cool and prestigious but a drug addict in a section eight neighborhood is nasty looking.

But they are the same thing: a drug addict. Like I said, it doesn't matter how you dress it up.

 

I think my ex was really curious about prostitutes. The fact that it is a seedy thing to do and wrong (by his views) made it more of a turn on. But afterwards he said it was like going to a fast food restaurant. And this was in amsterdam mind you. He also said he had to pay extra to change positions and that he wasn't allowed to touch her breasts. haha, sounds like a load of fun!

[astatine]

22 months eh? Try 22 years.

 

Tell me about it

[inlove123]

Dude, I didnt know your in Toronto, I also live there. Had you not said your from Toronto (I hope ON CANADA or this makes my post completely meaningless) Nevermind the people who want to bash you on the subject. We all have our sexual tendencies and you know what, if thats what you wanna do don't let someone stop you.

 

However I have to disagree with you on the subject of diseases. A hooker here or in Thailand probably has the same chace of contracting a disease (Well probably not but you get what im saying) If you think your not great at dating, then why dont you work on it. Find out what it is you think you do that causes your relationships to turn nasty. If all else fails or your just too damn lazy to work on yourself and you really want to turn to that option. The only advice I can give you as a fellow Torontonian is stay away from the hookers near Jarvis. They are filthy. Look in the back of the news paper, hire an escort service from a big company. They tend to crack down on hygiene and stds alot more.. Most of their rates are about 60 for a bj and 120 for full I hate to sound like a pig but all men have looked through those sections for fun and I have no shame in admitting. Plus im a young male. Im horny as hell! lol However never needed one, never will.

 

If all else fails go to a rub and tug. lol

[Stinkweed]

to the original poster: Do what you want, it's your body. Just don't do it repeatedly, because all vices, be it gambling or prostitution, etc, can destroy/ruin a man. I, myself, would keep away... I dunno what the hookers look like in your town, but I've seen them a couple of blocks from my place, and they're a scary bunch. Would never even wanna walk next to them. 20 years of celibacy, and many more to come, but I hardly care, hardly even look at women anymore, or any human being for that matter. If I die a virgin, at least I'll have a better shot at going to heaven than otherwise, if there exists such a place, lol.

 

The greatest pleasures I experience are free.

 

Wish that were true. Everything: from painting, to playing an instrument, requires money. Not everybody can afford it. Those who do it without truly being able to afford it, have to struggle for it. And if money is not of concern, time might be.

 

as for sex, it's never truly free either, is it? It requires establishing a relationship and nurturing it. Takes both effort, time and even money (yeah, like all girls would go for a guy who's dead broke and can't even afford a "fun" date). This guy's just taking the shortcut by payin a little extra (if you add all the money from all the dates, it will probably add up to just as much... hey, maybe less, even!).

[kmae23]

well, if this guy just goes on dates for sex, then please, by all means just get a hooker. the women that think you are dating them for them, will all be better off!

[Jonboy582]

Someone in the early stages of AIDS isn't going to look unhealthy, so saying they walk around looking healthy and businesslike is a really poor gauge for sizing up how "clean" one might be.

Use a condom? If I am not mistaken thats meant to stop the spread of disease.

well, if this guy just goes on dates for sex, then please, by all means just get a hooker. the women that think you are dating them for them, will all be better off!

Thats the point he is not getting to the stage of having sex with them, hence why he wants to see a prostitute and has not had it in 22 months.

 

I say by all means go for it, just be careful in what you do, where you go and who you sleep with.

[CarnelianButterfly]

Use a condom? If I am not mistaken thats meant to stop the spread of disease.

 

Condoms stop the spread of MOST diseases, not all. Prostitutes have more sex with many partners, so they are more likely to be exposed to diseases, several of which condoms are not effective protection against.

[Jonboy582]

Just because something is illegal why does that mean it is wrong? it is legal in many parts of the world does that mean it is right just because of the geographical location of where he is doing it?

 

Morality should not be taken hand in hand with the law they are two separate entities.

 

From what I have read, this guy wants sex nothing more. If he would like to pay for it thats his decision. Sex for the sake of sex is completely up to him. If he is going to do it however he should take every precaution to ensure his and her safety.

[CaptainPlanet]

ur really not supposed to be single at the age of 22 that something we've invented and as you can see it causes problems.

imo u should really be married or close to it but the way we run our world means that it isn't practical, but biology has other ideas.

 

Men need sex its not a nice extra we need it.

 

Do women hate men seeing prostitutes because they fear prostitutes make them expendable ? Is it because if a man can go and get easy sex by paying up his hard cash, he might not be so inclined to put up with your rubbish ? Why are some women oppossed to prositution because it is 'wrong' sex is for love. Are women scared he might spend his hard earned dollars on a hooker instead of you. Do some women fear prositution could become the staple and you yourself might be forced to work in a brothel as you are forced to work in restaurants or retail outlets for next to nothing in some coutries.

 

Why the opposition ? He just wants sex something men cannot get as easily as women.

[kmae23]

LOL, sorry but I clearly stated in my post it wasn't the subject matter that bothered me. It was the fact that he was trying to philosophize the issue. I was stating he wasn't using reason in his argument. Which is the essential nature of philosophy. I myself am able to use post conventional reasoning and choose morality for whats best for myself and others, I don't just follow a law or some religion. But in philosophy, many time a actions morality is judged solely on law. So if it was legal no I guess it wouldn't be immoral. But as stated before when it is legal the practice has to meet certain standards like std testing and they also have more control of what they are willing to do. It is a lot different than illegal prostitution. I guess it could be compared to getting some methadone in a hospital rather than some bunk herion on the street. And men do not need sex! I am more sexual than a lot of the guys I date. Go rub one off. Or is it actually the men that need to have a body to feel satisfied? What do they need, the touch? The visuals? (watch some porn) or is it the sensitive connection they crave? Why do men NEED a women? I do feel bad for men that pretend they are resorting to prostitution because they just want to "get off" usually these men have been burnt by women and have developed a flawed somewhat hateful view of all women. Its no wonder because they are sensitive. It makes more sense to work on your respect for women and try to find one that deserves you. And to all the men out there, you don't have to pretend to each other. This macho get a prostitute charade is ridiculous. Maybe you should try to be open about your need for women and comfort him instead? Obviously he is lonely.

 

Now for all your other comments about prostitution, I guess a person that thinks relationship are mainly composed of sex would be expendable. That goes for both sexes and frankly have seen men to be more attached, sensitive and needy for women. I have known women to leave men because they are bad in bed. I guess you make the point sex is different than love. And sure it can be, the only thing linking women to feel more of an attachment is the chemicals her brain releases after orgasm. Since I doubt this 22 year old is going to give the prostitute an orgasm, he doesn't have to worry about that! I guess some women will have sex with a man hoping he will like her but I haven't had friends like that since high school. Unless the girl is really insecure. And a women being afraid of a man wasting his money on prostitutes instead of her? Well, I don't know what to say about that considering I am fully autonomous and could care less about a man taking care of me or wanted sex from me. These all sounds like idiotic scenarios that I would never be involved in. I seek equality and mutual respect in a relationship. The women you describe are insecure, jealous, needy and pathetic! Is this the type you date?? I guess your post shows more about you than any women on here. Oh and, I don't know about Australia but men in the states have no problem finding sex. Just because some men would have sex with any willing insecure women that will do it to try to get the man to love her, doesn't mean women get it easier than men.

 

I think your views of women are tittering on sexist. The only reason I am posting on this thread is because I like a good debate. I just got out of over a 2 year relationship that was very loving but the guy was too needy for me. I am far beyond worried about a prostitute replacing me. And with a psychology/nursing degree I would never have a need to resort to prostitution.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I could care less with whom he spends his money. The fear you suggest isn't what the fear is for, it is fear for him in the long run. Most women I know consider men that visit prostitutes to be dirty, an untouchable, not husband material. The guy could shag a hundred women, but paying for just one and he's sleaze. Why? Because he doesn't have the will power to go out and try to find dates. He's looking for a quick fix. Who wants to be with the guy that couldn't even muster up a fee dates? Not to mention the disease issues. Because no matter how pretty a sugar coat you try to put on prostitution it will always carry a connotation of disease, its the nature of the work.

 

My question for you, why does it matter that people don't agree with prostitution? It's their opinion and they won't take up the prostitutes' time, so ultimately its a favor to men, the men will be able to get all the paid for sex they want, no waiting.

[CaptainPlanet]

Because there are different expectations put on men and women.

 

In general I would say men crave sex more and are less personal about it.

 

Also the expectations put on men can have a lot more to do with circumstance and a lot less to do with the person.

 

An intelligent, kind and good looking woman will always get asked out. No matter what she does for a living, infact if she is in a low end job she is even more likely to be asked out.

 

As you would clearly understand we all have different needs.

 

Now, if a man due to circumstance or otherwise cannot get sex (which is something all men crave and could possibly be a mental health issue) why can he not satisfy his needs with a consenting adult ? He can, but for some reason society makes this illegal in places, and it is frowned upon. I believe there are always two sides to a story. The man is bad and cannot get a date, but in the same time no one will date him. I don't like the fact that some women are oppossed to prostitution (which satisfies a mans needs).

 

i've said it before if women had less headaches there would be no need for prostitution. If a man is truly your friend, why can you not have sex with him to make him happy ? for example.

 

I will join the anti prostitution band wagon in the blink of an eye if I think it is in a society where people are economically disadvantaged to the point they could be coerced into it. Such as fragmented economies experiencing a depression or recession. Where you have some areas with extreme wealth and others declining. Where it would be possible that a woman would be doing the job as a reluctant wage slave.

 

However my experiences, in my own country, from what I have heard is that prositutes in legal brothels are extremely well paid for someone with no experience or formal skills. I thereforeeee believe it is their rightful choice and they're adequately compensated.

 

For a woman to disagree with such an arrangment to me, is fairly selfish, and shows a total lack of understand or empathy for men.

 

If a man is so unhappy with his sex life that he pays someone to improve it. Why have the respectable wifes, girl friends, or evens friends of this man not stepped up to the plate. Yet these women will often berrate men who use prostitues but they will not look inside to see the monumental failure of all parties involved. The obvious answer people will have is that it is not their responsibility to look after men.

 

well.. thats your own personal view I wouldn't like to live in a world where people did not care about each other at all.

[tmp0620]

What's the alternative? Turning into a "hopelessly romantic underlaid male" stereotype, who is a nervous wreck and develops creepy crushes on his co-workers?

 

Holy crap. Do you know me or something?

 

Edit: Very, very well said CaptainPlanet.

 

Women use prostitutes too... except they don't have to pay for them... it's all their male friends that have feelings for them that aren't mutual.

[Superfreak]

If you really want sex then go for it and do it safely. While it's true that any future woman you become involved with may look down on you for having slept with a prostitute, it can just be overcome with a white lie.

 

I've never done it but if I were single for a number of years with no opportunity for sex in sight I might consider it. My impression is that you just want to experience the novelty factor of sex so in a case like this a prostitute would be great.

 

It's an expensive "service" obviously. Although you stated it is cheaper then getting a g/f....in the short term maybe but in the long term definitely not. So unless you have a ton of disposable income it's probably best to make this a very infrequent activity. But again I get the sense that you just want to have the first time experience, which is totally understandable so I say do it.

[Superfreak]

i've said it before if women had less headaches there would be no need for prostitution. If a man is truly your friend, why can you not have sex with him to make him happy ? for example.

 

I agree with your general point that people should be able to pay for sex, and their should be less stigma attached to it, but this statement is pretty absurd. In my youth I've been in the friendszone and even though "pity sex" as you advocate would have been great, women shouldn't be told to have sex with someone they don't want to just to make that person happy. While it's true that friends should try to make eachother happy, they are certainly under no obligations to put someone elses needs and wants above their own.

[Batya33]

I don't think there is anything wrong with paying for sex where prostitution is legal but I would not get involved with someone who had visited a prostitute.

[ilovepoemsalot]

I don't think there's anything wrong with prostitution, and men should definatley not be looked down upon for it, especially if it's someone who can't get sex any other way.

 

To the OP, go for it.

[glegend]

I live in Toronto and buddy have you not herd what the cops will do if they see you picking up a prostitute. Impound your car + a fine.

[Superfreak]

I live in Toronto and buddy have you not herd what the cops will do if they see you picking up a prostitute. Impound your car + a fine.

 

I'm assuming that he isn't referring to the streetwalker variety but rather the "escort" variety. The type that advertise in most big city newspapers.

[Dako]

Is that a distinction without a difference?

Either way, it's rent-a-bop.

[glegend]

I'm assuming that he isn't referring to the streetwalker variety but rather the "escort" variety. The type that advertise in most big city newspapers.

 

Escort type is a bit different. Still it states that the cops will fine and impound the vehicle if it is involved with getting a prostitue.

 

To the OP if you want a prostitue there is a ravine off some houses in the Wilson Heights area where there is a whole lot of prosititution going on there. There you will guarantee you wont get any STD's, lol. Anyways it comes no matter where you get the prostitute you can get an STD, or even from someone who you are dating if they don't know then how are you going to know they are not carrying any disease.