Thinking out loud about prostitutes

[CaptainPlanet]

I don't think there is anything wrong with paying for sex where prostitution is legal but I would not get involved with someone who had visited a prostitute.

 

Exactly thats why it should not be spoken of. Such things are not womens business. Unless the woman is the prostitute ofcourse.

[CarnelianButterfly]

Funny how you think that only men are sexually driven... Women are just as sexually motivated. Women, however, are taught to be less sexual. How would a man feel if his girlfriend had a guy she paid (or didn't pay, women have it easy, right) to help take care of her sexual needs that he did not meet? Would he be willing to admit he was not an adequate lover and that it was her right to be sexually happy?

 

If all the world had legal sex work and the women were well paid, then I would have no issue with this. If the women were provided health education and were examined all the time, fine. But as long as any woman is made to have sex, and yes it happens and even in the places with well paid brothel girls, I will have a problem with it.

 

I suppose you think I don't care about those poor sexually frustrated men, I care very little about them (I pity them, actually), I do care about any hooker that's been beaten, burned, left in an alley, found in a dumpster, or ditch. Or the women forced to work the brothels, the children forced to work the brothels, the discarded children of sex workers. I care about them. Do you? That's all part of the sex trade.

[CaptainPlanet]

I would not have a problem with a woman paying or not paying a man to have her sexual need satisfied if she had no partner.

 

If she were older and her partner could not or would not satisfy her I would have no problems either.

 

Occupational hazards are unacceptable in any line of work. They exist because people are evil SOB's. That it is terrible how prostitutes are treated in some places I agree but the problem is not that they're prostituting themselves its that people are very, very bad.

 

The problem is the way people treat each other, and the de-humanization of those we consider employed by us that I see as the real problem.

 

I only advocate legal, registered brothels.

 

Street prostitution is a tricky one. Dip $hits set up a system where people can't afford to live, and then wonder why some little girly ends up selling herself on the street corners.

 

Yeah its disgusting and I hate it just as much as you, but whats the point in ruining a perfectly good industry (registered brothels and registered willing participants) and benefits to involved parties over something thats going to happen anyway. On similar note, if were to register as an escort and promote her product on the street, wheres the problem ?

 

Illegalize it ? who am I to say to that girl she can't make those few bucks. She must be desperate to stand out in the cold like that and sell herself in dangerous way. What made her desperate, thats the real issue ?

 

As for forced a child prostitution.. its illegal its horrific, what do you want me to say ? humanity is not perfect. We had the first world war we killed the whales. Infact I'm probably eating a dolphin right now, what can you do ? getting angry about stuff like prostitution doesn't help anyone. We need a paradigm shift away from a profit mongering ego centric society, then maybe things will start to change for the better.

[pacodemil]

You live in Las Vegas?

[CaptainPlanet]

Australia. different worlds i know.

[Batya33]

Exactly thats why it should not be spoken of. Such things are not womens business. Unless the woman is the prostitute ofcourse.

 

I would not date someone who would not answer my question truthfully about their number of past sexual partners, whether they had any homosexual experiences, involvement with drugs, etc - it absolutely is my business to know the extent of the health risk and about his values when it comes to that topic. Fortunately with my serious boyfriends I knew them and their friends, colleagues, background well enough not to have to go into that sort of detail but with others who I dated and was thinking in terms of potential those are definitely questions I would have asked and did to an extent.

 

Is it a man's business to know whether a woman saw a prostitute?

[Superfreak]

Is that a distinction without a difference?

Either way, it's rent-a-bop.

 

It's a distinction in the sense that the escort is legal and the streetwalker is not. Hence why they're permitted to advertise in newspaper. It's also different because escorts are subject to STD screenings whereas streetwalkers are not.

 

STD's are a possibility with both of course though and one isn't necessarily "safe" with an escort, but they're probably at a lower risk.

[CaptainPlanet]

No it is definently not a mans business to know if a woman has seen a prostitute.

 

I have known some girls who have done some less than reputable things and it doesn't influence if I like them or not. I am interested in who they are now.

 

How would you know if he were lying ?

[Dako]

It's a distinction in the sense that the escort is legal and the streetwalker is not. Hence why they're permitted to advertise in newspaper. It's also different because escorts are subject to STD screenings whereas streetwalkers are not.

 

Not so in So Cal.

Here, "escorts" are a ruse. They advertise as company for men, not sex partners. Of course they really are, but they aren't subject to testing. Prostitution is illegal here.

IMO, escorts are just paid more, dress better and aren't run by pimps.

[Zorba]

I've seen similar kind of thing with sex/love separation that kmae23 brings up with male friends of mine and this wasn't just because of prostitutes either. Two of these guys had been burned pretty badly by exes. One in particular got his heart stamped on.

 

Anyhoo, I hadn't seen the guy in a few years and he's become very anti woman and has difficulty with normal relationships and the sex within one. He became that way because he painted all women in his head like his ex and basically he played the field for a few years and I mean played it. Now he just doesn't trust women in general and basically thinks of them as disloyal sex objects, which he admits to(his words). He has actually mentioned that he would use an escort if the "need" arose and indeed the second guy I mentioned has in the past. With both of them sex and affection, never mind love are quite detached. One of the guys is quite upset about this, but feels he can't go back in time. That would be a major worry for a guy using a sex worker as a sexual release. Obviously men differ and I don't doubt that there are men ot there where this wouldn't be an issue and they just went down that route because of a dry patch. Still it might be a concern. It can be hard enough for men and women to co exist in a healthy relationship these days without any extra pressures.

 

While I can see where a need may exist and indeed if a woman decides to use her body in a safe legal environment then who am I to object?(though morally I may have issues)

 

While prostitution is a major step from stripping, I can see some similarities. I remember being in a lap dance club many moons ago and it wasn't the women I particularly felt sorry for it was my own gender, paying cash and mooning at strangers while some of them had women at home. Fantasy is one thing, but I'd rather a live woman. In the case where I don't have one, then frankly that's were my imagination and my hand come into play, until I do meet someone.

 

I also agree with kmae23 when she says a lot of women are frustrated with their partner and their lack of sex life. Very very common. Far moreso I would say than the other way around, which would be the perceived norm. This seems to get worse when men reach their 30's.

[Batya33]

No it is definently not a mans business to know if a woman has seen a prostitute.

 

I have known some girls who have done some less than reputable things and it doesn't influence if I like them or not. I am interested in who they are now.

 

How would you know if he were lying ?

 

I would not get involved with someone who I had any reason to doubt his truthfulness about such matters. Obviously there's always a risk he is lying but in my situations and the way I get to know someone that risk is so tiny that to me it is not a risk at all.

 

And yes his past matters to an extent because past behavior is a great predictor of future behavior and who they were in the past influences who they are now (depending of course on how far in the past, what it was, what they did since - it's all a case by case analysis).

 

Of course I am not talking just about going on a date - but potential for a serious relationship. You of course are entitled to discount someone's past entirely in choosing a potential mate - I only was stating how I go about deciding whether to get involved with someone.

 

I don't judge men who have gone to prostitutes but I do choose not to get seriously involved with them because our values would be incompatible and I won't take that sort of health risk.

[Superfreak]

kmae23, you had no control over your ex's obviously stupid and reprehensible behaviour, but what you did have control over is what you would be willing to tolerate. Having a guy unapologetically cheat on you numerous times and tolerating it is something I literally just can't wrap my head around. If this represents the typical b/f that you end up with then something is wrong with how you select mates because what you described is by no means the typical male (if it was society would have crumbled long ago).

 

However, theirs a big difference between a horny and desperate virgin just getting a hooker to satisfy his curiosity and a person in a relationship supplementing sex with their partner for sex with a prostitute. Seeing prostitutes or having sex in general is like any other pleasureable activity, so long as it's not addiction forming and harming your life/finances its fine, although obviously in the case of prostitution, the client has a moral responsibility to ensure it is consensual and reputable which is why a person that visits a "high class" often independent escort is not doing anything unethical, however the guy that wants a cheap lay with a mentally retarded crack addict that has a pimp taking away 90% of the money she earned is doing something unethical. But I'm sure that visiting prostitutes is no more addiction forming then some other vice like gambling, where you have some people that are addicted, but many many people that can simply go to the casino infrequently, blow their money, have a good time, then leave. It's almost definitely less addictive then cigarettes, drugs or alcohol.

 

Prostitutes will always be around so it's time that society addressed this fact. One more thing, to kmae23, I think it's awful what you went through but it also highlights the man/woman difference to an extent that you claimed was non-existent. In your case you could easily have gone to a club yourself and had a one-night stand but that idea turned you off...for the client of a prostitute this is NOT an option, and one night stands don't turn them off, the opposite, if they could get a one night stand as easily as you they would. So the problem is that when women are sexually frustrated it's often because they can't get their partner or someone else that they care for and that cares about them to have sex with them, but when a desperate man is sexually frustrated it's due to the simple fact that he literally cannot get a vagina, any vagina to stick his junk in. Thus a man's sexual frustration is easier to solve then a woman's. Their is of course weird cases like your ex's whom apparently could have sex with you but chose not to, but this by no means reflects the average client of a prostitute.

 

Those, at least are my thoughts on why prostitutes have taken off with men throughout history but have never quite caught on with women, feel free to refute my theory wrong if anyone can, I look forward to hearing others thoughts.

[Batya33]

I know of many men who have had relationships end badly and they do not react by seeking out sex with prostitutes or one night stands with strangers.

[kmae23]

yeah, well obviously the PO is one of those men. I didn't mean to speak for every man that has been burned. I was just referring to the type that would seek out a promisciuos life.

 

Yeah, a lot of guys don't do that. But the ones on this forum are really starting to see prostitutes out of rose colored glasses. It's a bit sad because they are so young and don't seem to realize there can be consequences beyond their control.