Reverse psychology and the "Rebound" relationship

[getbiii]

no that doesnt really mean anything,

that is just her sexual preference.

and her relationship status doesnt mean anything at all,

she might have just forgotten to put that she is in a relationship because you never use your facebook acount,

when i was going out with my ex it always said we were single.

it didnt change anything between us.

[Rotxsen]

on my opinion this time you should be focusing in yourself there bud I mean get a little rough around the edges and well let's just say if you catch her attention again and be like oh look at him he working out more looking great on those new fancy threads or well while you at it you could embrace yourself for impact but then again you have something that the other guys don't you know her better then all of us.

[DatingIsSoHard]

It's been 7 months of partial NC since my ex wanted time & space, 3 months of COMPLETE NC since she officially ended the relationship by phone.

I don't know anything about her, whether she is dating somebody else etc as the NC is so radical and I stopped meeting her friends or going to the places where I might likely bounce into her. What I can tell you is that so far there doesn't seem to be the slightest hint that she misses me. Well if she ever calls back I'll let you know, but I don't hold my breath...

[DazB]

What I can tell you is that so far there doesn't seem to be the slightest hint that she misses me. Well if she ever calls back I'll let you know, but I don't hold my breath...

 

Same here. The only contact I ever get is about finalising the break up. (we share a house and a joint account so we have to send forms to sign etc to get me off them).

 

Other than that I don't hear anything. Although my ego would love to know she misses me I think it has been easier for me thinking that she doesn't - it forces me to move on.

 

But..

 

One day...maybe one day...when the dishes are left dirty by the side of the sink she will think...''oh yeah...I used have a boyfriend who'd of done them for me...thank god I bought a dish washer.''

[TSandullo]

Meet her for lunch,from there you know what to do.Many unanswered question will become clear to you.But then(if you want to..i know i would) at the end if she didnt talk about reconciliation,you can ask her ! It will be clear once and for all or let it go and wait longer to see if you still have a chance to get her back. Dont go with her for karting if the other guy will be there..not a good idea ! If you do you will be deeply hurt !

 

An earlier quote from bitebenot.

 

Hey all.

 

following the lunch we had, and us parting ways afterwards, me going to work and her going karting. Yes, the 'other' guy was there. Found out today.

 

Not relevant to me at all, or should not concern me I know people will say.

 

I'm glad I did not go. I don't know what to think of it. At the moment I still cling, in an unhealthy manner, to the hope that she wants to get back with me.

 

Bad, stops me from moving on.

 

I wanted to ask you all something.

 

Weeks before hand, some 5 weeks after our breakup, I had given up all hope of getting back together and spoke with her for a friendly chat about relationships.We had a chat, a friendly one, I told her I loved her, wish her a good life. I told her lets be friends. Bad move on my side I know, considering how I regret saying that now. I actually do want her back.

She told me, she was seeing this guy, she still is attached to me and about how we might be together again. That gave me a bit of hope again, bad, hence my regret.

 

Now I give her cake and milkshake too.

 

After that 'talk' I went hardcore LC.

 

so, I want to ask you all. Saying that I was okay being friends, could this have been her motivation for meeting for lunch last week?

 

I guess I am fussing over spilt milk. Though, it would soothe my ego to know that she might want to reconcile considering her invitation to lunch was with the text message saying:

 

"Morn *******. I know I'm a bit late but I just wantd to thank you 4 the valentines letter with coins x. I was looking through all the letters n poems you gave me over the years, brings back good memories...care 4 a lunch 2geva sometime next week? C u in ******(class name) "

 

 

Man, I'm living in the past and cling to false hopes. It sucks I know.

 

Feed me with kind words and sound advice friends please.

 

Thank you all.

 

TS

[getbiii]

hey, everyone i need some help.

my ex asked if she could come over to my house tomorrow.

yes, no?

good idea? or bad?

 

i already told her she could come so i guess i might have to stick to it now unless i can come up with some great excuse,

what should i do?

i was thinking of just keeping it cool and treat her like a friend...

[bitebenot]

It's been 7 months of partial NC since my ex wanted time & space, 3 months of COMPLETE NC since she officially ended the relationship by phone.

I don't know anything about her, whether she is dating somebody else etc as the NC is so radical and I stopped meeting her friends or going to the places where I might likely bounce into her. What I can tell you is that so far there doesn't seem to be the slightest hint that she misses me. Well if she ever calls back I'll let you know, but I don't hold my breath...

 

Partial nc or lc for 4 months...wayyyy to long ! You gave her all she needed to get over you ! Sincerly i think your cat is dead ! Sorry! Move on and dont you wait for her.Miracles do happen but i sure wouldnt expect one here.

[bitebenot]

She just wants space thats all ! Her saying this...lol !!!! Give all the space she wants and a lot more ! NC at all. Ignore her unless shes crawling for a month if not more ! i cant believe this ! Take the bulll by the horn ! Show her you can go whitout her. Dont answer her email or phone. Lets see how brave she will be in a few weeks. Do this well and she will chase you.Be sure she doesnt know what you are doing,just desappear from her life.Let her make the first move since shes the one who dumped you.Be patient and wait,she will show up i garantee it. Let her miss you and she will react.

[DatingIsSoHard]

Partial nc or lc for 4 months...wayyyy to long ! You gave her all she needed to get over you ! Sincerly i think your cat is dead ! Sorry! Move on and dont you wait for her.Miracles do happen but i sure wouldnt expect one here.

 

lc for 4 months means I was still texting her, trying to rationalize her into not making me suffer like that, telling her how much I loved her etc (the usual big mistakes they tell you on "How To Get Your Ex Back" sites NOT to do) but just not in the cliché way of sending dozens or more texts per day. My average was one text per week. She did not reply then. I sent her a letter in which again I did the mistake to rationalize with logic and one week later came the real break-up.

THEN I stopped communicating at all costs as I had caught on with what GYEB sites had to say about this.

[bitebenot]

lc for 4 months means I was still texting her, trying to rationalize her into not making me suffer like that, telling her how much I loved her etc (the usual big mistakes they tell you on "How To Get Your Ex Back" sites NOT to do) but just not in the cliché way of sending dozens or more texts per day. My average was one text per week. She did not reply then. I sent her a letter in which again I did the mistake to rationalize with logic and one week later came the real break-up.

THEN I stopped communicating at all costs as I had caught on with what GYEB sites had to say about this.

 

When a women dumps a man you can forget about logic.Darn dont i know it,many would confirm this.I did the same begging and wrote a letter.Too late when they decide to dump no matter what you say.I talked to my ex twice in the first 2 months,nothing from her,she was very cold.5 months now and i know she wont communicate and thats what i want ! Never will i try to reach her ever.I got better things to do than trying to get her back.To me shes worthless.So many available women out there with much to offer. Same goes for women,many men out there,just make a pick and move on. Life is so short.

[Loxxt]

When a women dumps a man you can forget about logic.Darn dont i know it,many would confirm this.I did the same begging and wrote a letter.Too late when they decide to dump no matter what you say.I talked to my ex twice in the first 2 months,nothing from her,she was very cold.5 months now and i know she wont communicate and thats what i want ! Never will i try to reach her ever.

 

You know what's weird is that my ex is acting like a lady! But I think that his behaviour is just something that a woman would do more than a man. I know he's never been a man to me. I used to always have to stand up for myself and him and be the strong one. I suppose I was more the man and woman and he was just sort of "there". (This is one main reason why I'm leaning towards seeing him leaving as a blessing in disguise.)

 

He always answered my messages though, even when they were ones trying to reason with him. His answers were that he didn't want to respond because didn't know what to say because I would just get mad. And then he went on saying he had to delete pictures especially public ones on facebook because they would "confuse" his friends and family with his new and old life. Basically he'd answer but acted really cold.

 

He's never severing those links. In fact when I pull away he seems to try to keep me around.

 

I'm not sure what I would prefer: him only answering me when I initiate it, or him full on ignoring me and acting like he hates me... Scratch that, I know which one I'd like better, but I guess I should ask myself which ones is better for me.

[dumped]

I actuall did everything correct and it worked. Once she came back about 3 months later. Thats when I started the begging and letter writing...I know what a wuss...Sent her right back to the rebound

 

She texts me today.We own a joint property together and split bills she sends me what I owe each month. She acts like we are friends. "Hopes I am doing well and to give my dog a kiss and hug for her" all while she was with the rebound. Shes a joke. I just think it is hilarious that she thinks we are friends or friendly...I ignore her

 

Does this "forced" interaction have any advantages?

 

Or does me ignoring her at this point seem childish?

[dumped]

This is really aggrivating me. I don't know if I should text her back telling her we are not "friends" or if I should have a conversation with her letting her know that I have no respect for her and could never be her friend especially while she is with someone else.

[DatingIsSoHard]

So many available women out there with much to offer. Same goes for women,many men out there,just make a pick and move on. Life is so short.

 

 

My problem is that I'm into Indian Punjabi women, she was my dream girl and no white girl could possibly replace her. It's not just looks, I liked the Punjabi atmosphere, the food she cooked etc. I even picked up her language gradually. I've never felt very much "at my place" amongst other whites ever since my teens. (I was bullied in school anyway)

So the feeling of scarcity is killing me because unlike the UK or USA where there are lots of Indian girls here in Belgium she was perhaps the only Punjabi girl of the entire country. In fact she was originally from the UK but came to live here because of her ex-husband, who was a cab driver here.

[Loxxt]

This is really aggrivating me. I don't know if I should text her back telling her we are not "friends" or if I should have a conversation with her letting her know that I have no respect for her and could never be her friend especially while she is with someone else.

 

Before you say anything to her, go here and read my post and the replies. You will, without a doubt, regret it!

[bitebenot]

My problem is that I'm into Indian Punjabi women, she was my dream girl and no white girl could possibly replace her. It's not just looks, I liked the Punjabi atmosphere, the food she cooked etc. I even picked up her language gradually. I've never felt very much "at my place" amongst other whites ever since my teens. (I was bullied in school anyway)

So the feeling of scarcity is killing me because unlike the UK or USA where there are lots of Indian girls here in Belgium she was perhaps the only Punjabi girl of the entire country. In fact she was originally from the UK but came to live here because of her ex-husband, who was a cab driver here.

 

Go to her country and find someone similar lol....to each his own.I prefer a good hot canadian women,very spicy ! In my opinion you cant beat that !

[bitebenot]

This is really aggrivating me. I don't know if I should text her back telling her we are not "friends" or if I should have a conversation with her letting her know that I have no respect for her and could never be her friend especially while she is with someone else.

 

Ignore her till the day u die if u have to. Move on dude and stop killing yourself. Learn to accept the situation,its life ! Can you seriously tell me theres not a women out there that can make you happy ? You will find better if you want to. Go and drool over a sexy chicky and forget the ex !

[TSandullo]

Hey bitebenot.

 

Thanks for all your earlier advice.

 

I did want to ask one thing.

After breakup, we have now met for lunch once.

Result: No discussion about relationship etc

 

If she asks to have lunch again, what should I do?

-Politely decline - no explanation

-Politely decline - explanation

-Accept - with the possibility of another 'friendly' chat

 

Feedback would be great.

 

I'll be posting this same message around the forum.

 

TS

[dumped]

Ignore her till the day u die if u have to. Move on dude and stop killing yourself. Learn to accept the situation,its life ! Can you seriously tell me theres not a women out there that can make you happy ? You will find better if you want to. Go and drool over a sexy chicky and forget the ex !

 

I hear you! The issue is that I start doing well and then I get a text from her about BS like I am her best friend. Like she did nothing wrong. It just pisses me off how she just goes on like she did nothing to me. I have to deal with her one a month. Its like constant torture.

[Loxxt]

I hear you! The issue is that I start doing well and then I get a text from her about BS like I am her best friend. Like she did nothing wrong. It just pisses me off how she just goes on like she did nothing to me. I have to deal with her one a month. Its like constant torture.

 

That's sounds sort of like my ex. He makes me want to punch him in the head so badly!! I hate this kind of blatant ignorance.

 

The only way to get the point accross is to go NC and move forward. No one needs their kind of "friendship".

[getbiii]

HELP! so my ex is coming over today, she is still on the rebound but by what i've heard she may be thinking about dumping him. what should i do? i guess i dont have an option she kinda invited herself over, she didnt if ask if she could come, she just said she would drop by later after school. im thinking of just playing it cool and act like friends?

[DatingIsSoHard]

Go to her country and find someone similar lol....to each his own.I prefer a good hot canadian women,very spicy ! In my opinion you cant beat that !

 

Nope. I've already lived in India for 2 years and DIN'T TOUCH A GIRL there.

It's really the UK born desi girls that I like. In India itself they stay with their own kind only.

[bitebenot]

That's sounds sort of like my ex. He makes me want to punch him in the head so badly!! I hate this kind of blatant ignorance.

 

The only way to get the point accross is to go NC and move forward. No one needs their kind of "friendship".

 

I agree,if u want dont read her emails.If she wants to reach you she knows how.Shes so selfish,its sick really !

[bitebenot]

HELP! so my ex is coming over today, she is still on the rebound but by what i've heard she may be thinking about dumping him. what should i do? i guess i dont have an option she kinda invited herself over, she didnt if ask if she could come, she just said she would drop by later after school. im thinking of just playing it cool and act like friends?

 

You know enough to decide...now its gut instinct ! Dont take her to fast.

[bitebenot]

Hey bitebenot.

 

Thanks for all your earlier advice.

 

I did want to ask one thing.

After breakup, we have now met for lunch once.

Result: No discussion about relationship etc

 

If she asks to have lunch again, what should I do?

-Politely decline - no explanation

-Politely decline - explanation

-Accept - with the possibility of another 'friendly' chat

 

Feedback would be great.

 

I'll be posting this same message around the forum.

 

TS

 

You ask i answer.You do nothing ! No communications ! Do as u dont exist.

All u will get is crumbs...now its about her,not you.Ignore her for now unless she gives a good reason to brake NC !!!!!!!! Desappear from her,let her miss you. Its my opinion...ignore her ! She wont give you anything !

You first,protect yourself,simple.