Jump to content

Reverse psychology and the "Rebound" relationship


love4life
 Share

Recommended Posts

I've been thinking a lot about the situations that a lot of us are in where our exes began dating somebody very soon after the break-up. A lot of people classify these as rebounds, but sometimes they work out.

 

I have a theory that if the dumpee remains in the picture, the rebound will become a successful relationship; while if the dumpee leaves, the dumper is more likely to become newly attracted to the missing dumpee, and return.

 

To elaborate....

 

From reading some situations on ENA it seems to me that a dumper's "rebound" relationship is more likely to last if the dumpee remains in the picture in some capacity, whether as a friend or as the ex trying to "win back" the dumper. I feel like this gives the dumper control over the dumpee, knowing that he/she is a sure thing, which thereforeeee decreases the dumper's attraction to the dumpee. The dumper can then freely pursue this new person, while knowing that (just in case) the ex is waiting on the sidelines. I've even read about some of these "rebound" relationships leading to engagement and marriage when the dumpee is still in contact.

 

One case in particular I have heard of - the dumpee told the dumper that she feared he was going to be engaged soon to the new person, which he wrote off as absurd. But...it came true several months later. It's like in some twisted way the dumper played on the dumpee's fear - made that fear a reality - to maintain control over her feelings. I think it's a completely unconscious decision to manipulate in this way, but in a very twisted way, it makes sense...

 

It seems that the more often a dumpee wins back the dumper is by exiting the picture completely while the dumper pursues this new person. I think it gives the dumper a chance to realize that the "sure thing" they had (due to his/her initial attempts to reconcile and get back together) is gone and that once the excitement of the new person wears off, they miss their ex.

 

It's a matter of reverse psychology - we always want what we think we can't have. And we don't miss what we have until it's gone.

 

Does anyone have examples that would "prove" this theory? Or examples that completely negate it?

  • Like 8
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 2.4k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

I think that you may have some good points, there. It's been from my experience that shortly after having NC. My ex began pursuing me. The problem was that she was already living with someone and I'm not going to be "on the side" but... it's as you said. They "realize what they lost".

-Even the greenest of grass on the other side of the fence may have a smelly turd in it-

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's amazing how related things come up here all in the same day. this is the third time today.

 

I agree with your conclusion, but have a different take on why it happens.

 

When the dumpee stays in the picture, he/she gives the dumper an intense emotional connection to someone.

 

This leaves the dumper free to form a new purely romantic/physical connection and still feel complete, so the new relationship is encouraged.

 

But with the dumpee out of the picture, this new relationship is revealed as (sometimes) being empty and devoid of significance, so the new relationship fails.

 

Just a new theory I'm trying out ... does that make sense?

 

Zack.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i'm kinda testing that theory right now.

 

you see, me and my ex dated on and off for three years. during that time, i dated someone else, and my ex returned to the picture and wanted me back. i know it's evil to say, but I was happy he was jealous. after all, he'd had four months to get me back, and he chose not to...so I moved on. but i continued to talk to my ex, and yes, I still loved him, despite being with someone else. if he didn't talk to me for a few days, I'd get worried and call him to talk. me and the new guy broke up, and the ex came and tried to win me back.

 

well, now the tables are turned, and he is with someone else. i went NC the day after he even so much as mentioned there was a girl he was interested in. but he tried the whole, "I'm gonna be there for you forever and do whatever it takes to make you happy" thing on me, but everyone told me, "Don't let him have his cake and eat it too." So its been strict NC for a month now.

 

I've always come back to him before...but this time, this is the longest it's gone. I'm wondering if this theory is true...but either way, I just want to get over him and be OK without him, regardless of anything.

 

I'll let you know how it turns out!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

love4life, I agree with you. That's why I finally decided to disappear from my ex's life.

Someone here, I think it's Clabs, once wrote something so simple yet so true and it caught my attention: Sometimes the best way for a dumpee to get a dumper back is to dump them back themselves.

 

Zack, interesting thing to say.

If I got it right you mean when a dumpee stays in touch he/she indirectly gives the dumper a sense of fulfillment which the dumper erroneously attributes to the new person in their life. And thus, the dumper pursues the new person more and more thinking they are the source of their completeness.

When, on the other hand, the dumpee disappears a sudden feeling of emptiness fills the dumper and he/she realizes the new person is not the source of their emotional wholeness as they had imagined.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree with dreamguy and zack their ideas are a logical extension of the original theory.

 

You need to leave the dumper alone so that the new relationship will take its natural course Your intrusion into the development of the new relationship will alter its course and influence it in directions you may not intend.

Apart from this why do you want to hang around to find out gruesome details…how depressing.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Very interesting thread.

I think it might be the case often, that you become more interesting to your ex if you show them you have integrity. If your ex still has feelings for you. f not, I guess it doesnt matter what you do.

I think no contact, no matter the situation, is about integrity and self respect. The fact that you show your ex that you may leave me, but you wont be controlling and influencing my life gioves you a sense of self worth and integrity.

In order to feel that interest in someone you need to also feel that person has integrity. You dont want to be chosen by some one who would take anyone, because he or she is so desperate. You want to feel that the other person has high standards, and that you meet them. Its not really about your self, but about how you show the other person that if I choose you its because you are so fantastic. Not because Im so desperate and devastated that Ill take anything that comes in my way. No one wants to be that left over in your life.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Zorba:

 

Does this work after bad break up (break up with fight – no cheating) when ex starts rebound relationship soon? Both sides start NC immediately after break up, and avoid meeting each other. They both are full of pride and don’t communicate, even don’t say hallo to each other when they meet on the street. They both intend to heal, but in deferent ways (ex uses rebound relationship).

Dumper thinks that dumpee is guilty for the relationship failure and that everything during relationship was according to dumpees needs, not dumpers (this is my exes opinion-her view of our relationship, her side of story).

I would like to hear your opinion about how this story fits into your theory.

 

Thanks

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks, it's just like your sig says, it's a more a matter of basic psychology.

 

All those self help books on love, exes, attraction etc are all plugging the same line, mostly with a lot of padding on top of the basic facts.

 

Painting it in very broad strokes and generalisations, The initial sexual attraction gets two people together. The idea that you on a very basic level want to reproduce with this person. Long term that grows into intimacy and attachment and commitment. When one of the partners feels there's no future in the relationship or "something better" comes along(the first usually kickstarts the last) the relationship splits.

 

The new person is more attractive from both a sexual and novelty viewpoint. The only way you're getting an ex back is by getting that part of what you had back. You have advantages and disadvantages as an ex.

 

The bad news is that you can't really compete with the novelty. Basically because the dumper thinks they know you pretty well. They know your moves, they know what you're likely to do in any given situation. They are used to you in conversation, in bed and social settings. You broke some agreement in their heads over trust or fidelity or simply thoughts of a future. The big part is they looked at you, thought about it(usually) and decided that you were not good enough to continue with in a sexual relationship involving a shared future. That's basically it.

 

If it wasn't about sex(and all that means in it's entirety) then when you split you would continue to have sex. If it was about emotional support and companionship, why do so many dumpers want you as a "friend"? See what I mean? To have a chance of getting an ex back to you, you have to get him or her sexual side interested in you. That's the pat that is driving them to have a longterm couple relationship with you. It's the glue that holds it together. Am I saying it's all about sex? No I'm not, that's just a shorthand for all the things that bring and hold a couple together. You're compatible, you're good for each other, you can both see a future together, that makes you want to reproduce with each other etc.

 

The good news? They fell in love with you before, so you're broadly their "type". The longer they were with you and the older they are the truer that is. If your ex is 17 then I would say forget it. All bets are off. They don't know what their type is, or at least they don't know what their type will be in 5 years time. Your ex doesn't know the rebound(they think they do, but they're only projecting a fantasy at that point). All they know is that it's new and they're not you. The finding out is initially fun, but if basic compatibilities are not there or even if they are the transitional period into attachment is just as variable as it was with you. Also you know them and you know their needs and if you examine what went wrong in the relationship you can fix that should you want to. You know them better than the rebound. The more the rebound goes on for(if it is a rebound) the more their problems, the problems that your ex has ignored, come to the fore.

 

If you've improved yourself, for yourself in the interim. If you've had LC with the ex and didn't go all childish and immature when you instigated LC or NC, then he/she will think of you. The time apart will tend to make them forget about your bad sides and the things that made them lose their attraction for you. Nostalgia will kick in. When you think about a good holiday you had, you don't tend to remember the waiting around in airports or the bad food one night or the sunburn, except as jokey things. You think about the god parts of the holiday itself. Same with relationships pretty much(unless they were abusive).

 

How do you do this. Easy enough. In no particular order.

 

1. Don't panic and have patience. This isn't a destination it's a journey.

 

2. Really look at the old relationship. Why did it fail? If you went back would it fail for the same basic reasons?

 

3. After the above, ask yourself do you really want them back or are you just in a panic and want what you thought you had? Are you just scared you won't find someone else? If the truthful answer is no, then forge ahead.

 

4. massively reduce or break contact. Individual cases need individual responses. When you do this, do it with kindness, not in a petulant way*. If you're still friends(and for good chance of longterm success I think you need to be still friendly) with the ex and the initial shock of the split has eased all the better. Let them know that this time apart is for them as well as you. Let them know you don't know what the future holds, but for the time being and maybe forever, you can't be friends to each other. Wish them all the love you had for them in their new life. Then leave their new life.

 

5. If they ring or msg or email and you can take the call then take it. keep it short and sweet and avoid talking about the old relationship or relationships in general. Don't be too quick to reply but be mannerly about it. listen to them and what they're saying. People tell you all the time what they mean, so just listen with an objective ear. Don't contact them.

 

6. Move on. LET HER/HIM GO. Even bigger, let your old self go. Forgive yourself and them and improve from that. Improve yourself(gym/hobbies/the usual). As I said this is a time for you. It's a great chance to be free. You're no longer Us you're you and the sooner you apply that to your life both in and out of relationships the better. See other people. That will help you discover if getting the ex back was a kneejerk panic reaction. DO NOT start a serious relationship with someone else unless you have truly moved on and don't want to go back to the ex. Be very careful about this. You stand a good chance of hurting yourself and them. That kind of karma will come back to haunt you.

 

7. Never tell them you've changed. As Superdave says show them. You do that by letting go for a start. You also create novelty where they thought there was none by showing those changes. Old parts of you they loved+new parts they never expected= major attraction.

 

8. Never make them feel guilty for leaving you. It makes you look weak. Poison in a woman's eyes when she looks at a man.

 

9. If they want to come back, do not accept anything from them until they've worked for it and shown you they've changed and are willing and able to work on a new relationship, that just happens to have the two of you in it.

 

10. If it looks good and you are starting again, don't tell them you love them from the start, especially the way you did during the breakup. The reason it didn't work then is because a) it didn't matter, they didn't feel the same, or b) they instinctively knew it was all about you not them. I loooove you! when faced with a split is used as a bargaining tool or as an side effect of panic.

 

11. Build a new better relationship with them. The same way you built an new better relationship with yourself.

 

12. If there was real love and affection there and you have both grown up a bit, the chance is good you will reconnect. If you don't the you'll be a better person and you will have the split to thank for that.

 

I've probably missed a lot of stuff there, but If I think of anymore(maybe not I've outstayed my welcome..

 

* I would put money that if you do the NC in a petulant or childish way, they will know it. The only way they'll come back in 90% of cases after that is when and if the rebound/new relationship goes sour. I read and have a lot of admiration for Superdave's posts on this subject. I actually came into this particular part of this site through reading his stuff. It's very good advice(I've given some of it to a friend of mine going through similar). He advocates NC for the dumpee and I see and understand his very valid reasonings. It get YOU back and that is the best thing. That said if after you get yourself back and you still want the ex back in your life, going radical NC out of the blue will not help your case. Now he got his ex back and it's going well and good luck to the pair of them. The truth is however, his ex only came back because the rebound dumped her. Fact. Superdave rightfully made her work to get back his love and respect, but I would be very very surprised if she had come back if the rebound guy(the love of her life apparently at one stage) hadn't dumped her. That said, there are people here that come accross as very needy. NC helps them let go and grow up and that's good.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Zorba:

 

Does this work after bad break up (break up with fight – no cheating) when ex starts rebound relationship soon? Both sides start NC immediately after break up, and avoid meeting each other. They both are full of pride and don’t communicate, even don’t say hallo to each other when they meet on the street. They both intend to heal, but in deferent ways (ex uses rebound relationship).

Dumper thinks that dumpee is guilty for the relationship failure and that everything during relationship was according to dumpees needs, not dumpers (this is my exes opinion-her view of our relationship, her side of story).

I would like to hear your opinion about how this story fits into your theory.

 

Thanks

Bad break up is not so good. One of you has to make some move back to friendliness in my opinion. Be the bigger person and let that be you. Only do this after enough time has passed and you won't immediately go into crazy mode if she says something "wrong". If you can't communicate as adults in a civil manner how do you hope to rekindle a relationship with her? Never gonna happen as it stands. Oh she might come back for a short while i she misses you, but it won't last.

 

Her opinion of the relationship is very important, whether you think it true or not. The fact is she thinks it is. Now maybe she's wrong but if you were together for any length of time and she came to the decision to leave you, I would suggest there's no smoke without fire.

 

Also she may be using the rebound to get over you, or the new guy is actually better for her. It happens and it'll keep happening if the two of you can't even say hello.

 

Basically I think you need distance from this. Keep up the NC(though you seem to have no choice). When you do see her, say hello. It won't kill you. It doesn't matter if she does or not. That's not the point. You're being the bigger man by being polite.

 

 

Look no breakup is ideal, but from the people I've known who successfully got back together(sometimes years later) there were a few common things. I can think of five couples from memory. Small sample I grant you but....

 

They loved each other(naturally you would think, but not always)

 

They were close friends as well as lovers

 

They kept in contact, some limited, some very regular

 

They had a period of NC or very LC(usually a few months)

 

They both changed for the better

 

They both had relationships when they were apart(some rebound, some not)

 

They started a new relationship and didn't rake over the coals of the old

 

They were both patient.

 

They talked and more important, they listened to each other even when apart as lovers.

 

After the initial shock of the split, they never got angry or put a guilt trip on each other. They accepted that it didn't work, but that they were important souls to each other and they helped each other even if it was for a finite time. They wanted the best for each other even if that didn't include each other. That's love and that's never a waste of time..

 

If you have all that with an ex after the madness has died down then you have a good chance of being together or a good basis for a relationship with another and yourself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ex is asking me to movies, Reminising about when we met and old times, How good our sex life was etc. He's dropping these little hints everywhere.

All good.

But I think he's too afraid yet. We both still love eachother very much.

He is just scared of hurt again. He has told me that the thoughts of me with someone else make him ill, and I feel the same way about him too.

Then one of you better step up. Fear of hurt is not going to help anyone. Every love is a risk or it wouldn't be love.

 

I want us to work out so bad, but I'm being more calm, not panicking (not showing him anyways)
Kudos to you. I
told him a couple weeks ago that I finally give up.
I would have said let go not give up, but that's just me. Seriously if you did say "give up" he might have taken it that way. Better to tell him that you've let go of the old relationship and are open to a completely new better one, that both of you work on. Only say this after he makes some serious move towards you.

So I definatley believe that reverse psychology definatley has some merit. It's human nature to want what you think you can't have.
Even more when you want what you thought you had.

Luckily in my case I don't have a third party to worry about.
You do. His fear of hurt and while not as obvious, it's as much of a barrier as a rebound. They can both spring from a similar source. Fear of hurt/fear of being alone. Treat his fear and non commitment as another woman. In both cases he has to come to the conclusion himself(with your actions helping) as to why you're his best option of going forward.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My ex has found someone new. I sent her a text a few weeks ago when I found out and just said "goodbye". I also sent her a nice email yesterday wishing her the best of luck. Best of luck with him and that it ment alot but this chapter in our lives is over. We broke up on really good terms and managed not to get angry ect.

I don't think I was wrong to do that. and I don't understand how this can either help her new relationship or make it worse.

 

Each case is individual.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I can only tell you as a man that a lot of insecurity and jealousy in a woman is very very offputting(I'm not taking about the default level of "does my bum look big in this" that all women have ). It makes a man very uncomfortable for a few reasons.

 

It make you feel that no matter what you do it's never enough and you start to feel like their counselor and not their partner. I'll be honest it makes you look at women in a sexist way. You are so busy helping them like an emotional child that you starting thinking of them as one. "Silly little woman, they're so needy aren't they". That kind of thing. I've heard too many men say it.

 

Pushing for commitment too early on would be a warning sign for me. I would be a man who is committed to a relationship, but not to that degree after a few months. One of the reasons I would take it as a warning is that I've found men or women who tell you they love you or start making excessive future plans in a matter of 2 or 3 months, is the kind of person that can lose their feelings just as quickly as they got them in the first place. They come accross as emotionally immature. It also feels desperate and that's not good either.

 

Going for counseling is a good start I presume he knows this?

 

Keep improving yourself and ease up on the neediness. Act it until you believe it and take all your weirdness out here on this or another forum.

 

He asked for time so listen to him and give him time. Your old methods didn't work so time to slightly change plans.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Very well said, He has said that about the jealousy thing, that I have made him feel like he can never do right or do enough.

I really love this man and realize love isn't selfish, it's not about what I need or WANT right now, it's about respecting him and giving him his space.

Yes he knows I go to counseling.

I realized alot of my "rushing" things is that I'm afraid if I don't then it won't happen at all. So Then I second guess all his moves, "does he really mean this??" Etc.

I have been very counter productive to myself and to the realtionship, which has caused most of the problems.

He has expressed his need to not be pushed or forced, he wants to do things on his own. I would rather he did too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Zorba, thanks for your posts. I have to wonder if taking the "Friendly" way out works for women who were dumped, though. This makes us look a bit like a doormat - men love the thrill of the chase so I feel like making a complete disappearance on our part - even if the last contact wasn't so good - is the best way to go, rather than try to clear the air. Trying to be friendly gives them a sign that we're still interested.

 

The way I see it - in very basic terms - the dumper ended the relationship, which thereforeeee hurt the dumpee. It's up to the dumper to make amends, which can be difficult because their pride gets in the way. I would say that this, of course, does not apply if the dumpee was dumped for reasons of lying or cheating.

 

Still, I think the basic instinctual/biological differences between men and women will affect the way in which NC works. Women fall in love with men when they're around, men fall in love in the spaces in between. Would you agree?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Zorba, thank you for quick answer.

 

I’m aware of mistakes I have made during relationship.

After breakup I started to work on myself, and I won’t let those mistakes to happen again.

 

She started to flirt with guys immediately after breakup and jumped into rebound relationship. The guy she rebounds is terrible. She haven't had time to work on herself.

 

So, when should I establish contact? Maybe after she dumps her rebound guy (if it happens at all).

What way for establishing contact would be the best? I mean the way that will keep her interested in me. The way that won’t make me look desperate because of asking reconciliation (I’m saying this not because of my pride, but because I would like to keep her interested in me – to be challenge for her and make her think that she can’t have me whenever she wants).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Zorba, thanks for your posts.
Thanks.
I have to wonder if taking the "Friendly" way out works for women who were dumped, though.
I honestly think it works for both. Mini rant! This idea that men and women are so different is wrong in my opinion. Yes there are obvious differences, but we both want the same things and we both react mostly the same way. Most of the obvious stuff can be put down to social conditioning and what is different is not such a barrier to good communication and is often used as an excuse for bad communication. Books like men are from mars women are from venus and titles like that are largely based on supposition and bad research. You know that often quoted "fact" that women use twice as many words in a day than men? Guess what it's not based on any research. It was in one of the above self help books and has been quoted by everyone else since as fact. It had and has no basis in research. Nada. Zip. That lack of vocabulary must explain the lack of famous male writers, poets and philosophers. There's a lot of that expert stuff that isn't worth the paper it's written on. hey it may help people look at things more closely but that's about it(do NOT get me started on "the secret". It's so full of holes and untruths it's actually a comedy book. I've been willing Cindy Crawford to sit on my lap for years. Result? Would I be doing this much typing if... ).Venus? Mars? Don't know about you but I'm from Earth. Nice place it is too.

 

Men and women are as different to each other as they are to each others gender. Look at the individual, not the gender. I know men who have what would be thought of as a "female" way of looking at the world and visa versa. There are subtle differences between the two, but not so much as some would have us believe. End rant!

This makes us look a bit like a doormat
You see that's the thing(there's always a thing friendly doesn't equate to doormat or at least it shouldn't. People often make that mistake, especially women. Some women(and men) all too often try to make their entire social circle happy and end up making themselves unhappy. All in the guise of being "friendly". You can say no in a friendly way and still mean no. It's all about what you want put politely and mannerly and clear way.
men love the thrill of the chase so I feel like making a complete disappearance on our part
Some do, some don't. I don't. I find it a game playing bore to be honest. Any time a woman has tried that with me I lost interest.
is the best way to go, rather than try to clear the air. Trying to be friendly gives them a sign that we're still interested.

You see I don't mean you should clear the air in the sense of rehashing the whole thing. Just to say. It was good up to the end, it's a pity it didn't work out, but we both need to move on and far less contact is the way to go. See what they say to that. If they say fine, see if they stick to it. If they say I would prefer to have you as a friend, just firmly but nicely say no, not at the moment if ever. See if they stick to that too. Wish them the very best and thank them for the good times and walk away. trust me that will peak their interest. Over time if you stick to it that will really peak their interest. If they meet you in a few months time and they see you looking hotter, fitter and more confident than when they left you, they will look twice and harbour some regret. If the connection was strong between you, it'll be more than that. If it doesn't go that way well then you'll be hotter, fitter and more confident than you were. Good result all around.

The way I see it - in very basic terms - the dumper ended the relationship, which thereforeeee hurt the dumpee.
Yes the dumper ended it and the dumpee got hurt. It took two to tango and something pushed the dumper into taking that decision. Forget that, blame is for the schoolyard. You have the control now for your life. See your mistakes, forgive yourself and work on them if you need too. The real trick is to do the same for the dumper. Remember this person you loved very much, so why not give them that gift in your mind for you.. Then you don't just give up, you truly let go an that stuff is powerful mojo.
It's up to the dumper to make amends, which can be difficult because their pride gets in the way.
I honestly think pride is another excuse. If they're that proud, then you do not want to be in a relationship with them. If they won't make a simple admission and have the balls to back it up they're not worth it. Seriously.
th I would say that this, of course, does not apply if the dumpee was dumped for reasons of lying or cheating.
True, but even there I've seen strong couples get back after that.

 

Still, I think the basic instinctual/biological differences between men and women will affect the way in which NC works.
Dont get me ranting again.....
Women fall in love with men when they're around, men fall in love in the spaces in between. Would you agree?

No and you'll get an equal amount of people saying the complete opposite. Men only think of a women when she's in front of him, women think more about a man when he's not around. Familiar? I think men do compartmentalise more as a very general rule. That is a brain structure difference. We can abstract out something or someone more easily. We can also emotionally obsess as much as women can, if not more. Look at some of the posters here.

 

I do think the advice works for both. More importantly it works for both genders for themselves.

 

There should be more smilies up there but it won't let me put more than four

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I’m aware of mistakes I have made during relationship.

After breakup I started to work on myself, and I won’t let those mistakes to happen again.

Good for you I wish you the best of luck with that journey.

 

She started to flirt with guys immediately after breakup and jumped into rebound relationship.
She was probably trying to see if she still had her attraction.
The guy she rebounds is terrible. She haven't had time to work on herself.
He may be terrible to you, but she must like him if she's with him. Forget him. He doesn't matter. Hell, she doesn't matter. You matter. Don't forget about yourself.

 

So, when should I establish contact? Maybe after she dumps her rebound guy (if it happens at all).
Again forget about him.

What way for establishing contact would be the best? I mean the way that will keep her interested in me. The way that won’t make me look desperate because of asking reconciliation (I’m saying this not because of my pride, but because I would like to keep her interested in me – to be challenge for her and make her think that she can’t have me whenever she wants).
The way you are now, she knows she can have you anytime. So that's not working and won't. Start by saying hello and smiling when you see her, Simple stuff. Don't have to talk to her, just smile and walk. What you're doing now just makes you look childish. If she wants to play that way, let her. You don't have to.

 

Basically if you want any hope of her coming back let her go. Work on you. How you know you're doing it right is when it doesn't freak you out to see her. She will see that. Even if she doesn't other women, better women will.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share


×
×
  • Create New...