fnlyfrei Posted September 18, 2007 Author Share Posted September 18, 2007 Are you and your husband mismatched when it comes to look? He is first on my friendslist...I guess you can decide that... link removed Link to comment
Adrian28 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 He is first on my friendslist...I guess you can decide that... link removed I am not a good judge of mens' looks.. lol. But, you look much better than I had imagined. I would be VERY surprised if you don't get a lot of attention from men, both young and old. As a lot of people have mentioned here, men look. And yes, men look at younger women. Just because a guy is 40 or 50 or 60, it doesn't mean he is not going to get turned on by 20 year olds. But, it seems that in this case, "looking" has progressed to "obvious longing". It doesn't seem like he has been unfaithful yet. Again, this wanting to be with a younger woman would be ok, if he were single and he had not just married you. And THAT is the part I am finding hard to understand. He is obviously attracted to young women. Why did he marry you if he wanted a younger woman? Why did he not act on his attraction when he was single? Does he feel that maybe he does not have a chance with these 20 year olds? Or is he just getting cheap thrills by staring at them? Did he date younger women before he met you? I really need to know more about his past dating habits to give you any recommendations. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 I don't think you are mismatched but I don't think it matters or that it has anything to do with this situation. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 fnlyfrei is definitely not "undermatched" with her hubby lookswise. I think the answer here lies within herself and her own esteem. She is a very "striking" woman looks wise with the dark hair and eyes. Looks like a mutual friend of mine and my husbands. Very good looking. Link to comment
Adrian28 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 fnlyfrei is definitely not "undermatched" with her hubby lookswise. I think the answer here lies within herself and her own esteem. She is a very "striking" woman looks wise with the dark hair and eyes. Looks like a mutual friend of mine and my husbands. Very good looking. If you look at just this thread, it would seem that she is over reacting. And to be honest, in this case, it doesn't look like her husband did anything wrong. However, based on some of her other posts, her husband does seem to be behaving disrespectfully. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 If you look at just this thread, it would seem that she is over reacting. And to be honest, in this case, it doesn't look like her husband did anything wrong. However, based on some of her other posts, her husband does seem to be behaving disrespectfully. I agree with both paragraphs you wrote. Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Actually, I think I am going to hit the gym seven days a week, do all that it takes to be "perfect"....put myself in a position where I am admired and looked at all the time by other men, and perhaps then I won't care who he looks at either. It's called confidence Annie...you seem to have it. At the moment I do not. I guess you fight fire with fire...no carbs for me ! no, i'm far from perfect, i have plenty to improve about my appearance. but at the same time, if a man approached me and is dating me, i know he must like my type, love handles and all. I know that your husband has said bad things about your weight (I don't know why, I think you look great), so I guess that is fueling the lack of confidence? PS - I think you are quite striking. better looking than your husband, IMHO Link to comment
Beec Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 frnlyfrei, Not sure which picture is his picture, but I did not see any pictures of men on your page that I thought were out of your league. You're not the kind fo woman I go for, but if you were on the subway this morning, i would have checked you out. I think the jealousy issue lies mostly in your head. Does not necessarily make it easier to correct, but your looks are not a problem. Link to comment
amtjrtcet Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 frnlyfrei, Not sure which picture is his picture, but I did not see any pictures of men on your page that I thought were out of your league. You're not the kind fo woman I go for, but if you were on the subway this morning, i would have checked you out. I think the jealousy issue lies mostly in your head. Does not necessarily make it easier to correct, but your looks are not a problem. I agree w/Beec frnlyfrei, you are beautiful. Link to comment
makemestronger Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Jodi will you marry me ? your gorgeous He is first on my friendslist...I guess you can decide that... link removed Link to comment
Zampotne Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 I am a woman, not gay or bi, and I find you more attractive than your husband. Why don't you try spending more time out with your girlfriends and away from your husband--- give yourself a chance to get hit on, which will boost your self confidence? Your husband will be attracted to your confidence... He was looking at that girl touching herself, etc.. because she KNEW she was hot. She exuded confidence. I'm not saying you need to grope yourself in front of your husband, but make yourself be SEEN. Link to comment
Tethys Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 I'm a little late to the party, but I too have to say that I think you are better looking than your husband. I do think this has less to do with how you look or "match" with him than it is the issue of disrespect that you have posted about in the past. Don't let his actions convince you that you are unattractive, because it's not true. Link to comment
Wedgewood Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 F, I think your husband might have said something about your body that might have made you insecure. He might also have this younger woman fantasy (he may be going through mid-life crisis) that makes him check out every pretty woman that walks by. This rubbernecking makes any woman insecure. I had a relationship with a man who never checked other women while with me and another relationship with a rubbernecker, and I always felt more insecure with him. I once used this technique with the rubbernecker: when I caught him openly staring at a young pretty female half his age, I would say: "why don't you go get her number", in a playful way, or "Do you want me to get her number for you?". That made him very embarrassed and I noticed he would try to control himself more the next time we were out. However, it did not last long, since I think he just had a problem with his neck turning involuntarily.. I agree with the poster who said the best thing for you is to work in your self confidence. Exercise and eat healthy if you feel less weight will make you lookl sexier. Dress sexier, wear make up. Another secret I have: walk with your shoulders up and a half smile, like a Monalisa smile, and that attracts people like crazy! If you see men flirting with you you will be less threatened by the females who flirt with him, because you know you can do it too...nights out with a few also good looking GF's can help. I don't suggest you be unfaithful or anything, but just get a few looks and comments from other men who find you attractive can build up your self esteem. Self esteem can also be found in careers or hobbies you excell, not only with looks. Hillary Clinton has a high self esteem, even her husband's infidelity wasn't able to shatter that. She has pride in herself and her achievements. Women who are successful usually have that confidence. I totally understand how you feel and I think my reaction in that festival would be also be flight. Leave the scene so I don't have to suffer. Leave the scene so I don't end up making a scene and embarrassing myself. But the best atttitude in that moment is to hold your husband's hand, stand right next to him and look the woman in the eye with a smile. This makes it very hard for her to continue her performance. I have been hit by men in parties, and my husband showed up immediately by my side, as if to show the guy he "owns" me. It miffed me a bit, but I actually felt happy that he was able to feel jealousy. If he didn't care it would be much worse. I also think this girl knew exactly what she was doing. For some young women (I know, I was 20 one day as well) the power they feel over men of all ages because of their sexuality is like a drug. To see admiring men's stares and to feel wanted is a powerful aphrodisiac, especially if the young woman in question has deep seated insecurities and counts only in her appearance. He would never leave you for this * * * * , but I agree that you cannot be blind as well. SHow him and her that YOU are his woman and that she cannot go over boundaries, and show him that it is not ok to flirt with any women, especially women who could be his daughter. Link to comment
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