Why?

[mariab.]

My ex came into my work the other day. I work in a bar and he came in and just sat there then went outside and talked for a long time on his mobile. He came in with friends and had texted me beforehand to let me know-now mind you we have kept super minimal contact. Well I said hi to him and he was so distant, just like I was another person on the street, not someone he shared a life with for 2 years! I am over him pretty much, especially since I don't respect this person he's become-standoffish, a real jerk from what could see.

He looked like he was not having fun so why come in? My question is why? Why of all the bars in our town did he have to come into mine? and also can someone change so drastically? Its been 6 months since our breakup and I know that I've made improvements on myself and tried to change old bad habits but not my personality! Any insight?

[swtsmr93]

Unfortunately there isn't really a good answer to almost all of the why questions.

 

It can drive us mad! I know I have asked why and examined everything to try and figure it out.

 

For me, I can now recognize I will never get that time back that I spent analyzing it!

 

If I had to guess it could be he was testing to see what your response would be like. Or he wanted to make sure he was not forgotten.

 

But the fact is you are taking care of you!

 

He can come in and sit and be distant and you were so strong it didn't throw you. Now that is something of which you can be extremely proud!

[andy5128]

Hi Ya

 

Only he truly knows why he came in to the bar you work and not go elsewhere. The coldness and distance is a defense mechanism in my eyes ( i have feelings but not going to show them kinda thing) again can't say exactly why he is doing this.. Good to hear you were friendly and just got on with things as that is a win win from your point of view so just keep doing what you are doing.

 

Andy