alonealone

She never has a problem communicating. She has always told me everything and whatever has been on her mind. I think she's just taking this breakup hard and doesn't want to deal with it. I'll give her a few weeks. I don't mind giving her space, I just want her to at least talk to me. It's really a helpless feeling when there is no way to talk to someone. Especially when you don't know if you did something wrong or not.

My intentions were not to disrespect our agreement. Although she may have taken it that way. Probably so since she still has not called me back. My question now is how to rectify this. I thought of giving her a couple of weeks before I try calling her again. It has been 4 days since I called. This would not be all that big of a deal but I have known her for several months and we have become good friends. I don't want to just give it up. In a way it is immature. You don't just ignore someone, especially someone important . If you have an issue then you talk about it. Avoiding the situation is immature. People in their late 20's shouldn't act like that. And me going along with it means I am playing the immature game as well, but like I said, she really is a great person and I hate to give up. Thanks Y'all

So ladies do you have a certain time period in situations like this where you wait to call? I know she has played hard to get with her ex before by not answering his calls. Although this is not really a hard to get situation. But maybe it relates?

Yeah I'm sure she was. No call today either.

Yeah the whole thing does sound kind of young. She's be married before, but even so, she's only been in a couple of relationships so in a way she's kind of inmature in that sense. But I think she is worth the effort.

Thanks, that makes me feel somewhat better. Although we are both almost 30 so the kissing thing should not be that big of a deal, but I do understand what you mean. Thanks

So I have a post below on dating a recently single girl. We agreed not to get involved for at least a month, because she his hung up on the ex, she did the breaking up. So last night we went out to a movie, just a casual get-together, no date. Everything was fine. At the end I gave her a hug and went to kiss her. She wouldn't let me. Said she was sorry but she could not, she still wasn't ready. Now we had done some serious kissing and such a few weeks ago before deciding it would be best to wait. So I thought it was just going to be an inocent kiss, no big deal. So I said it's ok and we went our separate ways. I called her a bit later to tell her I was sorry and hope I did not make her feal unconfortable. She did not answer so I left a message. Called her twice today, moring and evening, again just left messages. I explained that I respected our decision not to date for at least a month and was not trying to break that deal with a kiss or rush her. I really did not think it would hurt. Also said we did not have to talk about it if it was bothering her but I would like to talk to her. She still has not called. I'm not going to call her for at least a week, don't want to look like a freak. So did I screw it up? Do you think she'll call? I understand this might have bothered her and she needs much more time, I just hope she is not upset with me. Thanks everyone.

Well is he good in bed? Not to be so blunt but if he is not into women then he probably is not going to be the best lover. Also does he ever make any remarks about other women, like guy remarks not how good their shoes look? I have a friend that took me a while to figure out he was gay. He liked sports and all the guy stuff, but he never ever made any kind of remark about women, like if a good looking girl walked by and all the guys where gaulking, he would not say anything. And I don't mean crude remarks, he just didn't acknowledge them at all. Your gut really should tell you.

We have been friends for about 4 months. Close to the point that she tells me personal things and likes to hang out. We had nothing "going on" until she broke up with her bf. She is the type who really is not in to the cheating thing. As a matter of fact that is ultimately why they broke up. He cheated on her. It's true, every situation is different. She did say that she has always liked and has been attracted to me. I believe that in time we will get together. But like I said, I don't want to screw anything up. She likes the type of guy who knows what he wants and is not afraid to tell her. So I am afraid if I wait too long I might lose her. Well I guess I'll know when it's time. Thanks for Y'alls help.

Here is the story. A girlfriend of mine recently broke up with her boyfriend of over 2 years. We have known each other for a few months and have always liked each other. She asked me out after they broke up. So we went out. It did not go so well, she is very depressed. So we agreed to hold of dating for at least a month for her to heal. We are going to still see each other casually in the meantime. She is very interested in me, I do believe her. And she knows I am with her. My plan is to give here whatever time she needs and not pressure her at all. I do want this to work out. I believe we would be very good together. I really don't want to mess up. I am afraid I might push too much too soon. I am also afraid I may do too little by giving her this space. I would appreciate any advice on handling this delicate situation. Thanks!

Is there no way to get someone back when they won't even talk to you? Or at least get some closure? She want return my calls, so I stopped calling her. She doesn't return my emails. We passed each other driving by once and I could tell she avoided looking in my direction. She won't even let me know why she broke it off. I'm sure the answer is "She's Crazy!" At least that's what everyone else thinks. Never has any girl just said "bye" to me with no reason. I guess I should just let it go. I want so bad to send her one last email saying "if you are going to treat me like this then I don't want to talk to you anyway" but I don't won't to be an ass, even though she deserves it. Seems like the only time she ever has really listened is when I just got mad and stood up for myself. It would at least give me some closure. Anyone have an opinion? thanks,

ameliamolly So you dumped your ex and he is trying to get you back. You say you haven't forgoten about him. Do you want to get back with him? Are you waiting for him to do something to get you back? I have often wondered because of the way my gf ended the relationship if she wants me to try to get her back. Would the no-contact be of much use then in getting her back?

Well my last email to her was in reply to our official breakup about 2 weeks ago. We were on a break for the month I have not seen her, not officially broken up. So as of our breakup I have not contacted her.

So my last contact with my ex, she ended the relationship, was about 2 weeks ago. Email. Haven't seen her in over a month. She seemed somewhat irritated and mad about the breakup, don't know why, she dumped me. I tried to end it on a good note saying I hope we can still be friends and call me sometime if she wanted. Anyway I been doing the no-contact thing. But now I have a strictly non-relationship question to ask her. So I want to use this question (email) to possibly be a way to get the ball rolling. My real question for you all is when to do it. I was thinking after 3 weeks of no contact. But I am starting to get impatient and wondering if 2 weeks is enough for something this simple. The info I need from her is nothing urgent so it could wait a month if need be. Really I'm going to email her whether it helps my chances of her talking to me or not because I need this info. But I want to utilize it as a way to possibly get her talking to me again. What do you all think? Hold off longer or try to get the ball moving?

Thanks everyone for your replies.

Like I said, I'm not waiting around for her to call, I am getting on with my life. I just wonder if she ever will call. When you give someone a year of your life you don't want it to end with just an email. At least if she contacts me it will make me feel a bit better about the whole thing. And I am not angry, I have made my peace with it. I am also wanting to make sure I'm not missing anything, that I did not give up too early. Because no matter how bad our relationship got, there was a lot of good in there, and I can't just forget about someone completely. Thanks

I tried contacting her several times before I gave up. She would never answer her phone. And I knew she was able too. I don't believe that calling her every week will do any good. But I could be wrong, anyone? We are also not on a break anymore. We are broken up. So I'm not acting like I don't care. I just think it is probably a lost cause and am not going to put forth any effort unless she does. She did not even shed a tear what-so-ever through out the whole thing. Actually I think I have only seen her cry once the entire year we where together. Makes me wonder if she started seeing someone as soon as we went on our break. Or was interested in someone before that. So nothing worked. Now it seems the logical thing should be to just stay away and maybe she will make contact. Wow that sounded like a line from StarTrek. I need to get out more. Anyway love your thoughts everyone. Fill me with more! Thanks!

I have decided not to contact my ex anymore and hope for the best. It has been less than a week since our last contact, email, and a month since I have seen her. The situation is somewhat complicated, as are most I guess. I have come to peace with our breakup but still wonder what she will do. Actually even if she came crawling back, which I doubt, I still might not take her back. Guess I'm just looking for opinions on what to expect, or what not to expect. I get the strong feeling that my ex has been pushing me away for months. Probably because she has had a few failed relationships in the past, major ones. We went out for a year, fell in love and all that good stuff. Truly was the best relationship I have ever been in. By-the-way we are both in our late 20's. Of course things started to change, really change. She got mean and stopped including me in her life. Not gradually, just like BAM! So around a month ago we had a talk, I insisted. She suggested we take a break. I said OK and we didn't speak for around 3 weeks. I got an email about getting some of my stuff and her getting some things back. We spoke briefly on the phone and I got a little upset. Then later I sent an email apologizing. Since then I called her to talk and left a message. She called later that night and asked to call me the following night. Sounds great. But she never called. So I called and left messages and she emails the next day with a lame excuse. This went on for about a week. I told her I wanted to decide if we were going to work it out, stay on a break a bit longer or just break up. Finally one day she emails me saying we have been broken up for a month. Which we have not, in my book taking a break does not mean it's over. So basically I told her she just dumped me because I was willing to work on our relationship and she wasn't. In my final email I told her I hope we can be friends and if she wants to she can call me sometime. Hope I'm not boring anyone yet. So it seems to me that she wanted to kind of let things slide off into nothingness. If she had broken up with me straight out then she might have seen it as her fault and another failed relationship. That's what I think. Well she also seemed a bit mad over the whole thing, in her emails at least, and never replied to my hope we can get along. This makes me wonder if she ever will. If I were to do the no-contact thing, at some point she should contact me and then I can play "the game". But I just am not sure if she will contact me. I guess it hasn't even been a week since I stopped contacting her so who knows? We'll what does everyone else think? Like I said I am not going to do anything but move on with my life. Just would like the satisfaction of knowing I didn't spend a year with someone who is totally heartless. Thanks Everyone.

My girlfriend and I just quit about a month ago. Don't know many people and hate dating. Was thinking about giving eharmony a try. Has anyone tried? Heard of anyone having luck? Thanks!!!!

I don't even know if I want to get back with my ex. She has changed so much from the girl I fell in love with. I think more than anything it might be a self confidence thing. I want to have the power I guess. I was so good to her for so long. Seems like it should not go to waste. Anyway there are a lot of people who do not believe in "Fate." I could say with every girlfriend I have had that fate brought us together, but then the relationship failed so why did fate bring us together? Would still love to hear some more success stories.

I have been researching this site about getting your ex back. Everyone talks about the No Contact Plan and such. My question is has anyone actually gotten their ex back? And did it last? Or are these rules and plans just give us something to do. A goal perhaps. I know it feels great thinking "she'll be back, I just have to give her time to realize what she is missing." But do they ever come back? I know everyone's situation is different but as a whole what do y'all think? Thanks!