miss_dyme

Thank you all for ur replies... He txt me recently and asked to get together as he wanted me too preview his new video I went,..i went tbecause i wanted to see how i would feel around him also to view the vid. He came an picked me up ,went back to his..he seemed to be nit pickin at me,,for instance,id be sittin there comfortable chilled out an he would say 'Why dont u relax u seem so uncomfortable ' little things really..Seemed a bit cold towards me too..i kinda didnt see too much into it at the time. He seemed to be guzzling a lot of wine from the bottle too,looking back now he seemed very on edge. Later he kinda put his arms around me kissed my forehead,yeh i was fallin 4 it ..we chilled lie that for a while ... Then it was a case of takin it further...began doing stuff. He kinda pulled away from me then came back ...i was like 'what r u doing...' he then came out with...'MY BABYS MUM'... Hes been dabbling with her again.. I was like 'If ur so inlove with her what are u doing here with me ,' he statred to say how he feels alot 4 me and was confused he didnt kno wat to do.. I said why take it so far to havin sex with me ..why did u do this ,why not tell me b4.. Kept sayin how he wanted me too feel good ,how he felt for me etc,he was clinging on to my body really tight too.. Tears just rolled down my face,he was beggin me not to cry,wiped my tears an kissed my face..Im kinda knumb at his point. I said to him this is how it seems to me..'I have alwayz been ur rebound,after your babies mum cheated 3 times on you with 3 diffrent men..u have not grieved her.u jumped straigh to me..yet ur still inlove with her..she is not being punished for what she did to u ..I AM. (I kinda brang up bits of his past) I then went on t say'The only reason u continued to be intimate with me is because u were still being intimate with her...as in it made what she did to him more 'acceptable' for him if he was to have a girl on the side,it would make him feel that he was gettin one up on her..it made her cheating more bearable. This musta struck a nerve coz he wanted me to go home...He said he was angry and needed to be by himself,he wasnt sure why he wa angry but said it must have been when i brough up his past an wat she did to him. He is still inlove with her,he doesnt want to be he cant help it(he says) Alot of other things were said about how much he misses me when we dont talk or see eachother..but thats neither here or there. On the way home i said i asked simple questions all i got was' righ now i cant answer you,im not sure if its coz im tired ,or coz im jus angry my head is a mess ,everythin is messed up i jus need to think ,be by myself and think.. I said well let me decide whats goin to happen..i told him 'I was gon ,i wont be intouch again,he said 'look, im going to call you and talk to you properly about this ,right now i cant coz my head is messed up...' He apologised for 'everything'. He hugged me /kissed me ..i whisperd in his ear ,i never wanna see you again...and i got out the car an walked... Cryed so hard when i got in,the pain is incredible.. I felt foolish,i hate myself for loving and wanting such a cruel selfish person ... I keep askin myself ,why get me in his company to tell me he is doing thing with his babymother,why not jus tell me on he phone ? Is he really confused,is he really torn between us,..i think if he was confused he would not have said anythingto me about her ,he woulda just carried it on ,having me and her..there fore he really does want me out his life... I will not get intouch with him anymore.... Im so gutted coz jus the other day i was really gonna give 'being just friends' a shot.. Ive proved to myself i cant to that. Thanks for reading x

The guy i was seein txts me at least once a week..he will never call though, havent spoken in a month havent seen eachother for nearly 3 months.. I think maybe he expects to do the friends thing with me ,i dont think i can to be honest.. I think next time he txts maybe i should just be less responsive. Very hard to do though when ur heart is still in it and ur head is rushin your heart to let go... Oh well.

K so im tryna deal with the fact he no longer feels anything for me anymore ,he doesnt have to tell me because actions speak louder then words and his actions are definitely speaking LOUD. He still txts me askin how i am doing etc ..but im gon try put my foot down and be unresponsive just go into no contact mayb without sayin anything. I just dont think i can do the friends thing.. Problem is hes a music artist his music video will be out soon ,he will be havin a ball..THIS WILL BE A KILLER... Having to hear him on the radio,see him on tv hear people commenting on how great he is... Knoing more that i was there from day one when he was just barely striving to get a deal,had his back, was his emotional pillow.. Now im just gonna be a very distant memory,when he always told i would be apart of it all and wanted me around no matter what. Can this be made anymore bearable im really not looking forward to the newyear..His 'getting on without me' will just be thrown in my face.. Sorry to rant

Hi all How do you know wether they are getting intouch because they feel bad or because they genuinely miss you and are struggling themselves to let you go? Do u ask them what they want or do u just ignore them...

Im kinda goin through a break up of a friendship/relationship...He is still kind of in the picture... I hadnt dreamed of him in ages but then the other nite i dreamed he died i woke up sooooo upset with the urgency to call make sure he was ok...(i didnt tho) Does anyone have any insight on what this kind of dream could mean... Thannk you!

I adnt dreamed of him for ages an i hought wow maybe im starting to accpt it a bit more now... THEN.. Out of the blue i had a dream that i was in his company we were together ,his nose began to bleed so i said to him 'come on ,lets go clean u up...he then graped his head in his hands and died...i wokeup feelin so emotional... I know it didnt mean he was gonna die,but i really could relate to it ..as in the realtionship was ending... My sis said that it meant that i wasnt over him and that i probably feel like i love him so much...till death even.. Hmm very weird!

I called... I guess u could say i made excuses for him and myself.. For two dayz i pondered on the though of hmmm..would i really care that much if he didnt answer..i actually felt that...i wouldnt ...as i was so used to being blanked. i thought aftr the txt i sent him ,i felt bad..i wanted him to kno dat i wasnt angry ...i wanted to make the call to help me move on in someway... HE ANSWERED...BUT....he seemed very distant ,shut off,told me it was ok for me to call him an that hes was always about....didnt talk about us..i kinda stayed clear of that... All the same, he wasnt the guy i thouht i knew ,normally a very vibrant kind of guy,..At the end of the call i jus said well im gonna love u an leave u(wat i say to everyone!)..so keep intouch ok...he said definitely...he also told me to keep intouch..IT FELT SO FINAL.. I came off feelin better at that point..hmm..mayb even knumb...Then it hit me..DID HE ONLY ANSWER COZ HE FELT GUILTY..This call was jus over a week ago ....And now i still miss him bad,...i still cant make ahead a taile of anythin... Im left to still assume... This has all happened ever since his music career came crashin down..things were ok b4 this... Is he jus takin it out on me...Theres so much left unsaid... Do i keep intouch (minimul) like we agreed,or did he jus say that for the hell of it....

I feel so close to calling him,..im not sure wether i should or not.. Ive feel like i need for HIM to tell me we are thru...right now im jus presuming he no longer gives a damn coz hes so distant... Would i appear weak to to back on my word? Him not getting intouch....Does this mean that Hes glad ive taken the hint ,and doesnt care... Am i jus in denial ,im so confused... Any other views would be appreciated if you can.. many thanks

Thanx sankin, The thing is i feel like he even has no respect 4 a friendship...weve been to close to just go to platonic friends. I would love to say to him,no matter what ill be there 4 u,but at the same time i feel like i maybe downgrading myself coz i kinda feel he couldnt recipocate that. i do love him alot..To get on that friends level i feel i have to really cut off from him,then literally hope hed like to be friends later when im healed .. At tho mo i feel like im the bad person in all of this. Alot of people have said to me ,he treats u the way u allow him to treat u...' I dont want him to treat me like im a nothing,right now i feel like hes downgrading every feeling and emotion we ever shared..

Ive posted a few times b4 on here.. Was having communication problems with a guy im seeing,recently tho he had been offish with me kinda distancing himself ignoring my calls. He opened up eventually said he was depressed due to his career kinda crumbling.Hes working with a new manager now so hes getting back on track. He said hed like to see me ,so i went over for the evening..it was really nice and we kinda did end up getting intimate. I left that night he said 4 me to call him or he will call me. I did this ,i called,i tried..he doesnt answer his phone...i leave it a few days and try again,still no answer,i txt..nothing.. I thought to myself i cant believe this ,this guy has absolutely no consideration or repect for my feelings ..it kinda hit me like a truck..ive been here 4 this guy for such a long time....it dawned on me that there is noway he could possibly feel anythin 4 me anymore.. I cried 4 ages after this realisation and sent a txt tellng him that i cant put my self thru this anymore... It hurts me so much to walk away from him,i kno hes been hurt alot in the past,..but there is really nomore i can do is there..? I wanna b free from the emotional battering this puts me thru..Ive never cried over a man as much as this ever b4. After ive been there so much 4 him for ages now. i want to believe that it would hurt him to lose me and that he may begin to show me he can make more of an effort 4 me... Im scared that ill regret walking away and feeling guilty that if i loved him i woulda jus stuck around..I really do care and love him but its really hurtin so bad to love him .. I have done the right thing...right?

Hiya Thank you for your reply is was so much appreciated,ur right it is the right way to go about it. Id thought it might be but just need another persons view really those i have just tell me.'ITS OBVIOUS HE AINT TOO FUSSED ABOUT U COZ HES BLANKING YOU MOVE ON....' Guess that was a lil too hard to hear,Im sorry if my post was a little too trivial . Thank you

ok..well thanx too the 60 people that read my post anyway.

This guy has been in my life for 3 years now.. We have alwayz been very very close emotionally and after two years we became sexually involved. We are not in a committed relationship,hes got a very demading career which is taking off and is his dream so right now he could never give 100% to any relationship,also hes been very badly hurt in the past by his ex (she cheated 3 times) so hes a little scared of giving himself completely right now. Altho we are very open and i trust him enuff to at least be sexually commited as i am with him.... Ive been cool with this set up,it probably seems unhealthy but i feel too much for him to walk out of his life..Anyway that was just a lil background info if ud like me to elabourate a lil more let me kno..! Recently i went away for 2 weeks to my sisters ..i called him once from there to say hi and he called me once but i missed the call..i was due back that w/e so i said id get intouch when get back.. So i did just that ,to say hi and catch up,the phone just rang,i didnt think much of it..i tried a few dayz later..same thing..i thought this is weird i left a voice message askin him to call,but he didnt.. It was if hed vanished off the face of the earth. I was thinking if he didnt wanna see me or speak anymore..why not jus say sumthing...ANYTHING... So i jus carried on presuming ,the worst as u do ..i couldnt keep calling there was no point..i just thought ok..hes probably met someone but hes too scared to tell me so hes jus blanking me i felt so low ,how could someone uve been so close to for so long jus say nothing and disapear like u didnt even exist..so i txt him to say goodbye try get some closure 4 myself in some kind of way.. He instantly txt back askin 'what am i talking about'..i said well uve been constantly ignorin my every effort to get intouch.. He then said hes been really down (depressed etc ,his music career is all messed up ,he has been distant with everyone... Apologised and said he felt bad.. From this i felt bad ,i kno he sacrifyced alot for his career ..all i can believe now is that mayb he feels less of a man now his dream has failed,we used to talk alot about his career and he would endlessly tell me how he would want to take care of me as soon as he got himself sorted..mayb he feels he cant do that now... I dont kno wat to do from here..shall i jus back off and let him get his pride back,altho hes explained why hes been distant, im too scared to call incase he still aint ready to talk and i get blanked again... Then on the other hand theres a tiny bit of doubt,wat if hes lying about his career and really has met someone,would he really tempt fate like that ...jus to get me out the picture...Hes never come accross that cold hearted... Im really heartbroken because hes really shutting me out ,distancing his self from me ..i want to be there for him...but he cant even really converaste with me..I have been back a month now and havent seen him or spoken to him..jus a few exchanged txts Has he gon into his cave because his career has crashed out..im trying to b cool ,not needy ..but i miss him alot and im not sure if i should just leave him alone till he sorts his head out... Im sorry if this post is confusing,if quite confused myself..but if u have any qeustions id be happy to answer them... Many thanks

He came online (he very rarely will comeonline coz he so busy)..still he came onto talk to me... Does this mean he does really care..,or do u think he felt bad about the txt i sent him.. He didnt really stay on for long about 20mins he didnt really say anythin,i think showin his self online is what he calls effort..hmm i dunno...Shall i still back off and let him put some effort in.. I really wanna call him,but i dont wanna seem needy

THANX ab38.. Over xmas he told me he couldnt have a full on relationship because he was scared ...so i understood this...i love him that much ,that i will b there for him ..and back off...hence me callin ot too often..etc..i feel even to wait 4 him,to sho him that i could never hurt him... We had an understanding that he wanted to spend time with me etc we call eachother ..it was goin good u kno we knew where we stood...but now ..it just seems he really wants rid of me ..i kno he dnt wanna hurt me,and i think thats why mayb all this lack of communicating is workin to his advantage..mayb he wants out of having to do the 'dirty work 'and endin even our friendship... He is busy and embarkin on a music career,which i fully support...i jus dnt think he has consideration for my feelins at all...ive given him space beyond all means,..I sent him the txt that im gonna bk off even more(make jus about as much effort as he is)....i wish i didnt now tho..i shoulda jus left it i cant do nuthin else

Hi may thanx 4 ur reply.. This has happened b4..i txt him and wished him goodluck etc and told him i loved him...i felt so worthless an unaapreciated.. He tried to call me that nite but i didnt answer..i thought id let him do the chasin..but the next mornin i felt bad and childish coz i dnt wanna play games.. Still we worked it out and he came online we chatted and then he calld etc..its jus this month...i feel like my efforts just arnt appreciated nomore.. Another incident, last week we ewre supppse to get together ..he had fam over from jamaica..but he told me he would ring me to let me kno wen he was comin to get me...he didnt bother...i txt him to atleast let me kno if he couldnt make it ...but he didnt...i was so hurt..where is the consideration

Right now im so confused....basically ive told someone that i really love so much that im goin to back off and leave him alone...I didnt want to but i didnt know wat else to do,i felt i was in a no win situation... We have known eachother 4 nearly three years ..known each other 4 two but casually seein eachother 4 one.. These dayz over the last month ive been makin all the efforts to call him txt him,literally ill only call once a week ..most times he answers an we chat but then he will say ill call u bk and doesnt...theres just simply no effort from him... Tday i tried to call an it jus rang,i tried an hour later an it wase ngaged so i tried again...literally 20mins after and it jus rang...like he knew it was me but didnt want to answer... Its as if he wants us to just fizzle out,he says he still has feelins but if he did woulld he really treat me like this..i feel like he doesnt... I feel he just feels bad to actually come to me an tell me that he dont want nuthin to do wit me nomore...i txt him this and said that im goin to back off...leave the ball in his court.. Was it wrong to send that txt would he see that txt as me just lookin to get attention?.. i forgot to mention he is scared of commitment as he was cheated on by his ex 3 times... Im so confused...

hi slbg ..thnx 4 the comments. I havent yet tried the no contact thing yet but i know it has got to be done...heres a lil bit bout my situation. Ok we started out very good friends we clicked so well..i had never done the friendship first thing with a man..i was alwayz ending up in bed 1st..yes grown up now so this time i thought things would b different. We both knew of eachothers bkgrounds...i had two kids from my ex ...we ended on good terms...and he had a child with his ex ,she cheated on him alot..i dnt think they ended on good terms. We kinda started seein eachother ...yep we had sex ...we crossed our friendship boundry ...basically things went weird from there... Yeh he would confess his undyin love for me ,i was the ONE etc..but then he would mention i still feel for my ex..i wish i could get her out my head and b with u.. I kinda backed off a bit..its wat he needed he was confused i still saw him but i never put any pressure on him to commit to me . Come xmas he was ignorin my calls etc ..i was sick wit worry i kept thinkin noway would he jus push me away like dat witout no explanation..so eh i would try call etc not consistently but yeh i tried ..i sent an email sayin after everythin how could u just turn me away like i meant nuthin....etc He came online an basically i got the hint he was bk wit is ex..i wished him luck and said i hope we can still b friends ..he said of cource... He still never answered my calls tho..omg it hurt like hell...i tried gettin in touch once a week but nuthin... Then after newyears he returns a call sayin'babes im so sorry etc,me an my ex were never bk together..we met up an he explained more...apparently he missed me bad,still had feelins 4 me and the reason he cut me off was because he was scared of fallin in too deep wit me ..scared of commitment...i said ok well now uve told me this lets jus put it behind us ...but next time if u blank me like this im gon walk away... I fell into it again..we crossed the friendship thing ended up in bed...now three months on he jus got bk from a tour in the usa (hes a hiphop artist signed to a major label so he is real busy etc) ...he mailed me sayin he would get intouch wen he got bk...he hasnt botherd...so i rang...he didnt answer ..so now im thinkin mayb its a case of wat happened over xmas/newyears....Should i jus leave it now and see wat happens?..i guess i should

Hiya ..is there anyone who split from someone and has never heard or seen anything from that person again? Just wondering if the 'NO-CONTACT' rule has ever not worked for anyone ?