miss_dyme

Hey batya33.. I have more or less done exactly that..i guess i just wanted other peoples opinions on this as ive always just worked it through on my own.. When i recently told him how i felt about him i said it would be good to kno there could be some kind of 'growth' with us..he then wen to to say...theres better then him out there, i can do better, he wants me to be happy..very very mixed signals Still i kno i cant make him feel anything he doesnt thankyou xx

Could it be that thats what he expects of me? U know, to chose another guy over him... Could it come from his insecurity? If we are out in public together..i dont act overly couply..cz he made it clear...YET will cuddle me etc in front of everyone..and ask me why i havent shown him any affection.... i think to much i kno

At the mo ive backed off..taken a huge step back.. Evaluating the whole situation.. He still reaches out..not in a sexual way..actually im not sure why...and it always comes from him..i just act like im not botherd.. its hard tho coz i do miss him, when we are together everythin just feels so right.

kamuji: so so sorry i think i was editing while u must have been..apologies x i know he has been hurt quite bad, comes accross as 'the nice guy who gets hurt' Had a very difficult up bringing. Its been difficult for me to get him to open up , he does to a point..then backs off sayin he needs to set boundaries with me. Its as if im 'to good to be true'

At the mo im really battling with this... Hes never ever said hes scared, i think 4him that would be showing he is weak... *i kno hes VERY insecure *His actions speak louder then his words..i.e he says stuff like if we are out at club " it wouldnt burn me to see you gettin hit on by guys...but then when i do hes running over asking wat did he say..then ill be very overly couply with me like im 'his'..very effectionate. *i have a myspace..he thinks/feels im 'doing stuff' with others...yet i always reassure im not..he always tells me 'he doesnt wanna kno about it. everythin is just so confusin theres so much more to this.. Many times i will try to go with what he says...but ive always believed actions speak louder..DO THEY?

Is it possible to tell wether a guy is scared to be open to grow with you for a possible relationship or he is just not that into you?

Big Big hugs for you. I hope your feeling much better now. I know this prob sounds awful but i wish my body would natraully(sp) induce me so i dont have to go through a medical abortion. It was lovely of ur ex to chose to support you either way. Goodluck to you hun xx p.s And thankyou once again for your support on my end

@Syrix..Hiya, i dont know why he asks, i shoudnt really think anytthing of it but i will ask him when/if i next speak to him(if he brings it up anyway) @ off to see the wizard..Hey, yes i am in london. I went to my GP for the referal and they arranged for me to go to mary stopes..The earliest they could do was feb 6th, since it was through my GP i didn think i had any other option, apart from going private which costs sooo much. I will definitely check out that link thankyou so much for that! Thanks to ALL of you

Hmmm.. In my past experience the guy i was with would 'say' alot of things, u know, had feelings for me, cared about me etc BUT he never actually really SHOWED me..EVER! I just use to make excuses for him coz i was so 'into him' wed been apart of eachothers lives for years so i always thought '' Theres noway hes lyin''.. NOW with the person who's currently in my life, well weve known eachother 4 awhile now (a whole other story) and he is the OPPOSITE. He has never put a title as such on us, has never really opened OPENED up to how he feels about me or let on too much...BUT He shows me certain things. AND is responsive towards me 9 times out of 10 Altho we have no title ud think we were a couple.. Kinda confusing still..

Im not sure what bPas is!? Starting to feel quite sick now. Im guessing im about the most 6 weeks. Feb 6th isnt even for treatment , its for consultation i think ill be scanned to see just how far gone i am..not looking forward to that, they best not show me nothing on that screen. Still intouch with him..Im tryna block it out and not make t an issue, yet he seems to be more concerned then me..Askin things like ''Have i thought anymore about my decision, am i going to change my mind'' Whats up with that

Thanks guys for all your support. Went to docs today , they wouldnt adminsiter the 'abortion pill' it has to be done at the clinic. Quite fed up at the mo coz the earliest im looking at for a termination is feb 6th. Ill be atleast 9weeks then. Was hoping to keep this all as simple and quick as possible, but it looks as though im going to have a 'suction' termination. NOT HAPPY but i guess ill have to block it all out till then

Thanks.. Yeh thats what everyone has said.. Kiids are not on his agenda ever. Id like to think oneday i could have another , when im with someone who really loves me etc and when im financially stable and living well. Hes not the one. Look out 4 me in the 'breaking up' section!

Ok... I told him.. He was very matter of fact. Really doesnt want a child. Ive also decided and spoken to my dad, (HIS opinion matters alot to me he is my rock.) Its the best thing FOR ME to have a termination. Thankyou guys forall ur input. This has definitely given me a kick up the bum. I will be more careful from now on Im 4 weeks so its all early im seeing my doc asap to get the ball rolling xx

I know it shouldn it matter what he thinks and it shouldnt have got to the stage where i have involved another life in the decision of how he wil feature in my life. But whats done is done.His reaction will affect my decision Its not going to be easy, i just dontknow what to say do i just come out with it....? Hopefully it will be over the next few days. Ive also got to tell my dad, which is just as awkward as i know ill get a good lecture ..i deserve it i guess

Hello everybody. Thankyou again for all your support. Still thinking about things really. Lastnight we spoke twice i felt kinda odd, sad even...He seemed so happy to talk to me i felt sad coz he didnt know. I know that either way i have to tell him. I Care/feel too much for him and if im honest i do see him in my life to what extent who knows. If i go through with an abortion without tellin him i may aswell kiss goodbye to ANYTHING with him coz i dont think i could look him in the face again knowing,.. 'Hey i was carryin YOUR child but i aborted it and you dont know'. I really think it would haunt me... Not sure what to do but i will tell him. Im about 4/5 weeks now so i kno i have to decide quick

Thank you all so much.. I have a boy whos 5 at school fulltime A girl whos 3 whos part time school. I never thought abortion would be a option for me...with my 1st two it never was. Its hardwork with my already lil ones and now they are past the 'babystage' ive been looking to better myself career wise. I dont wanna struggle financially anymore. Ive always thought eventually id like another child, with a guy who im in a stable relationship with. I feel like ive let myself and my family down. My dad has been the father figure in my childrens life (although there father is in regular contact with them). I guess if i tell this guy im scared how he wiill react, although plenty of times he says we will have 'beautiful children'. Id like to think there was a posibility of me and him being together. But then i dont wanna be labled as a women who out to trap him. I dont know if i can do this alone...again

It came out positive:sad: I guess im in shock really.. Yeh i only had 2 shots jus over 3 years ago..bled durin thm..and for ages after. I dont always risk unprotected sex. I have done a few other times but was always ok..silly niave me..really let myself down:sad:

Hey everybody... I havent used these forums for quite sometime, so all my previous posts are not relevent to my current situation. In fact please pay no attention to other posts as its my past and dealt with .. Anyway to my question..But a lil background first..im 27 hes 26 i have 2 kids from a previous relationship, he has son hes not incontact with. Ive been on and off with a guy for the last 10 months or so. We get on great, clash at times, dont argue as such..when we are together which is prob once/twice a week he fills me up in everyway. Thing is here we are not a couple , it has not been discussed as such..when we are out in public/together,he acts like we are... Ok im draggin this out a bit im sorry.. Basically i think i could be pregnant. Very niave of me to think i couldnt fall , see i went on the contraceptive injection a while back..had 2 shots and i bled/spotted constantly for jus over a year..it messed me up. Only recently the last year has my system become normal, even then heard after takin the injection it was 'hard' to fall preg..So i risked it My 1st thought is..to have an abortion without tellin him? Then i spoke to a friend she said ' He has a right to kno ur pregnant? I just dont kno..What the righ thing to do is... Thank you for reading

Thank you guys for your take on this.. Sorry if i made it difficult to read! I appeared aloof at first not intentionally i dont think, id just come out of a horrid situation with a guy and my intitial reaction was 'Girl be careful, can fall for this guy coz hes very sweet, i guess it was a cynical attitude. After our very 1st phone convo, he was full on telling me how hed fallen for me big time, now he wanted to see me..but i was not really on that idea as yet, i just wanted to move to my own rhythm and at that time i thought if u dont like that then so what (i didnt say that to him), when i said no initialy to meeting so soon, later he said i made him feel like a rapist or somethin?. We still talked though on and off although he kept doing things to get reactions, make me jealous..i could tell he really wanted me to like him, he took the role of how i use to be in my last relationship. Its weird but it seemed in his eyes, the way he reacted towards me , was as if i was already his girl. Then we met, things went nice ,lots of laughin stares that locked and looked away, he asked me bk to his but i said no (i liked him but wanted to take it slow)..Since then the friendship has continued the way it was before we met although hes more laid back..and i feeling like i want him more. When i say bout him playing games he just laughs about it, and says he has never been hot hes always been lukewarm/cold (then may jokely laugh), u gotta treat them mean to keep them keen etc He asked if i was keen (ofcource i am) and then he goes 'Well there u go then!' He also likes to talk to my little girl on the phone , asks alot bout my fam/children, hes a muumies boy and loves his family to pieces.. Recently, if i txt to say im thinkin bout u..He wont respond, then maybe call me a few days later..itss o frustrating i like him, i want to know if he feels the same way i guess. I know hes busy most times but if he liked me i sure hed just get intouch ,playin it cool? i dunno He sas he wants alone time with me and needs to try sort something out..should i be more assertive with things? Chase him? or leave him alone to come to me.. I wasted 5 years on a guy who was seeing someone else at the same time seeing me, im the kind of girl who if she likes someone will see it throug to the bitter end..I just dont wanna go thruogh the same heartache

Ok well basically got acqainted with a guy on myspace. Exchanged some messages back and forth as u do, gave email, then numbers exchanged.The norm. Id just kinda got out of a crazy situation so wasnt really looking for anythin 'heavy'..still we chatted on and off, lovely guy..hadnt seen a pic of him...he seemed into me, askin bout my fam, talkkin bout his fam..seemed to have a lovely heart..mentioned lil bits bout his past..seemed to come accross as the guy who always got hurt (the nice guy)..Seemed like he had a lot of love to give...i was gettin attachted i wont lie.. He said to meet i thought at 1st no, still felt vunderable from recent events that went on with me( i didnt tell him in detail about my past relationships) ..anyway from then on he was a bit wishy-washy but still interested, he never pushed the meet up thing again, but we still continued to talk..he got jealous too once as i added one of his friends to my email..4 business reasons purely..thas when the g ames started...hed seem uninterested, try get me jealous by sayin he had this girl, that girl ex's on his back..tried to get reations but i never reacted..All a bit silly really! Anyway,i thougt to myself,, ahh man i like this guy, we get on well imma just meet him what have i got to lose. I asked him about it, he agreed, then later that week i got an email sayin that he doesnt think its a good idea we meet(i hadnt seen a pic of him b4) because he thinks it would change what we had..i reassured him it wouldnt(im not shallow).. So we met, i wont lie..there was a bit of an anti-climax 4 me, he wasnt like Woahhh ya know really goodlookin, we hada good time hada laugh i enjoyed his company...he held my hands etc didnt try to kiss me or nuthin altho i felt like he wanted to...i would have recipocated..id had a drink not alot coz i was drivin..he said why dont u come and stay at mine we could get a bottle and u could drive home wen u felt ok too.... i kinda thught ,hmm yeh i kno wat that means.i said no, nuthins gonna happen...thats when w kinda said ur 'goodbyes 4 that night. He said to let him kno i got home ok..and i did...part of me after that night thought , i dont care if he dont persue me from now on because of that anit-climax..BUT..there was somethin about him.. This has all happened in a period of like 4months...After our 1st meet up, he appeared aloof?..Did he feel rejected...? I said to him id really like to see u again, which i did , He said yeh but a month on we havent met up..we have just talked bout twice a week, id txt hed call, wed have a laugh etc,flirt a lil hed appear busy sometimes or uninterested u kno it was like game playin....Hed say things like,oh u gotta treat em mean to keep em keen, lil remarks that came out..or hed laugh about it. Ive also noticed recently we never talk at night anymore, its more in the daytime. He will say he wants alone time with me and that he has to sort somethin out etc is he playin games with me?...The tables are turned and i feel myself wanting him more then ever. Recently i have gotten rid of my web thing he called me a soon as he found out and was a bit 'sad' by it..(he never really messaged me on there anyway coz he said i had enough admirers already) ... I told him hes got my num and my email so nothings really changed.i txt him yesterday to say i was thinkin bout him and hoped he was enjoyin his w/e..and he hasnt responed... Lately hes slackin on the responses..im not sure why...i just dont get what is going on... I like this guy ALOT and i wanna see where it could go (havent told him this)....Am i chasing him?..I really am startin to feel like im the buggaboo here altho the exchange of calls etc is mutual..unresolved feelings from my past (of me holding a relationship together) is coming up.... A start of a nice relationship/friendship shouldnt be so difficult ...should it...? At them mo he does / he doesnt/... If you'd like anymore details plz let me know id be so grateful on ur take... thanks guys

Im gonna keep it short and to the point! What for you makes a women/man good in bed...? What for you would turn u off...? Is true that men open there hearts through sex and become more vunderable? If a man is having trouble showing a women how he really feels about her,will he show this through sex and his desire for her? RSVP!

I bet u look fatastic. Im one of them skinny types..unfortunately If i could have one wish it would be to have a much much curvier figure believe me.. When i fell with my children i thanked the heavens above..lol.. finally i could gain some weight,but it all dropped off.. Those 9 months i never so WOMANLY in my life Dont change for anybody .only if u think it would make u feel better personally. ONCE AGAIN...UR SOOOOO DAMN LUCKY, ANY GIRL THAT CAN EFFORTLESLY PUT ON A POUND IN FACT. ..IM MAD JEALOUS..LOL Good luck x

I dont mean to rain on the parade either but... I was kinda involved with a guy who was cheated on. I cared for this guy so much ,wanted for him to open his heart again ..u could say i wanted to save him ,for him to feel that he deserved to be treated with love and respect and to have something real..I wanted to be the one to give him that..id had him in my life over 3 years... Yep it kinda worked for a while he recipocated my feelings told me he loved me too ,he KNEW i was the 'one'.. then hed back off a bit an i just put it down to him being scared (the trust thing) thought ,hey id give it time... Things have gon pear shaped now, and i realise he has never really healed from his ex cheating on him ..in fact i am paying for her mistakes ... I know people handle things diffrently and every one situation isnt the same but given uve only known him a month be careful getting urself too involved right now...He has to heal himself ,if he doesnt and he jumps straight into something brand new ,i really believe he unresolved isues will catch up with him eventually no matter how hard he tries to convince himself 'HES GLAD'...And it will effect ur relationship with him. Just going from my own experience ,please dont take any offence to it. bestwishes x

It was a while ago now but it is irritating me and i just need to vent about it... On xmas eve at 9AM he txt my phone asking if i had deleted his number..' My response..(yeh i know i should have ingnored it,but i didnt )..No , why would u prefer it if i did?' His response..'No i was just wandering.So cant we atleast keep thesex between us'.. My response..'Look if u wanna talk u kno wat to do' That was the last i heard from him until newyears day when he txt me an 'indirect txt'.. I have not responded and now we have been in no contact 4 two weeks . I still care 4 him,i dont want to hes really hurt me ... Why did he send what he sent...To hurt me even more, to rub salt into my wounds? I have no intention of gettin intouch at all ive got my head screwed on enuff not to i think.. Im feeling pretty worthless tho at the mo ,feel very used that all we were about was jus sex

For starters ..HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hiya foz ,ive been following your thread since it began and u have been through..ALOT..U have come so far. I can imagine u are feelin extremely confused right now so much to the point where maybe that little flutter of hope has been reignited. I dont mean to raise your hopes but i just have to say i think this could be quite positive. Maybe you guys meeting that time has kinda made him realise how much he really has missed you ,maybe this gesture is testing the waters for a reconciliation. If this the case ,id still play it as u have been ...if he wants you back...let him work damned hard 4 u! U deserve it! Goodluck and have a great birthday