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JonasWaingaro

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Everything posted by JonasWaingaro

  1. JonasWaingaro
    Happy birthday. You cannot even imagine how much I want to call you. To talk, catch up, let you know how things are and find out how things are. But you have no interest I suppose - clearly. So I won't acknowledge your day to you but I did not forget. I'm starting to wish I could though. It would be a helluva lot easier to be a cold heartless coward and simply say 'meh, screw you.' Ya know, like you did me. =p Oh well, I'm sure this experience is (has) hardening my heart enough to do that in the future. Thanks?! Meh, I guess. Yours always.
  2. JonasWaingaro
    Damn right! And he won't hurt you. Hang in there everyone! It gets easier with time. Be good to yourself, remember you deserve to be happy and treated with kindness. Been a while since I posted in this thread so here goes! Day...250ish. What a long time. I was such a mess days 1-30. I failed and contacted many many times. Contact did no good at all. Just set me back those days and held me back x2. But what can you do? Part of the process is falling off and contacting them. One learns not to touch the flame by touching it every now and then. That's okay. Experience teaches us better then anything we read/hear. I still admire the flame and look upon it fondly. I even get tempted to touch it - that temptation fades a little everyday. Be strong!
  3. JonasWaingaro
    Well, just passed 11months and I'm struggling - yet again. /sigh Do you ever struggle? Do you ever have weak mornings where nothing seems worth the fight anymore? Do you even think of me? I wonder. I suppose not. The beauty of replacements parts is they allow you to forget the broken ones left behind in the trash can. I reckon that's just the way it works. 1 year ago we were on holidays. Having fun (?!) Are you that GOOD of an actor? Was anything really real? I actually wonder nowadays. Perhaps this was all an illusion. I dunno. In a few weeks you'll have a birthday, followed shortly by the 1 year mark of dumping. Will you remember that day? Will you have a flash of me? My birthday went by without a word. I contemplate being a better person and sending a card - but I won't. What would be the point. Spitting into the wind is no damn fun. Anyhoo, I am still alive and exist - in case you'd care to know. /shrug Yours, lost in the world of doubt and hopelessness.
  4. JonasWaingaro
    Wow lotta great pics! Jeen/Hobbes I'm sooo jealous with the SA pics. One place I really really want to visit. Excellent photos! I'll have to get some of mine up.
  5. JonasWaingaro
    Oh I like these. The bamboo one is very zen-like. Gives the feeling of coolness.
  6. JonasWaingaro
    Nice one! I like a lot.
  7. JonasWaingaro
    haha =p Funny Hobbes. =) Let's see I haven't posted in this thread in ages. It's right around 120days since 'contact'. If you could call what I got contact. Though my reply was contact and ignored. Lovely. Well okay, I did send a christmas card. But how can I count something that was put into a shredder unread as contact?! Exactly, I don't. Hang in there everyone.
  8. JonasWaingaro
    Happy New Year!? I guess....Still alive. Still sharing the planet earth with you. See that blue moon the other night? Yeah me too. Watching it (not)together. Funny you dumped me with the blue moon! Then another so soon and...nothing. So much for the wacky universe helpin' a sad dude out. So yeah, I now have a beef with the universe too. =p Anyhoo, just wanted to say I'm still around and sucking out all the marrow of life. Okay maybe not that great. I am drinking out all the beer of life though. Should end well.
  9. JonasWaingaro
    Grats on making 30days! The above makes a lot of sense. A very sensible approach! Maybe needs to be a thread, the 'Labqueen phase 2 challenge!'
  10. JonasWaingaro
    6 months today. Wow. It's so hard to believe. You've cut me completely out of your life. It's like a never existed in your world. Do you even think of me?! I mean ever? Sure seems like that's a very silently loud - no. So you'll know, yes, I do still exist. I'm still a fun person. I'm still a good man. I am special and not replacable. Why you would agree with that then 'replace' me and ignore me is beyond me. I really do/did deserve a helluva lot better. I wonder what you told your family, wonder if became the bad guy. Have you brought the new guy around already? None of my business I know but can your family be so fast to accept some new guy so quickly...especially since your mom fully expected me to be there now. I feel badly she was lead on in Europe too. I wish I could tell her I didn't know and I'm sorry. Why did you let us all take that trip then dump me 2 weeks later?! My god that was cruel and unfair. I'm so sad. 6 months, and I don't exist. Do you ever think of me....
  11. JonasWaingaro
    Howdy. How are you?! How is tough guy? I worry about you guys so much. It hurts I've been shut out of your lives, more then you know. I saw some super cute christmas stuff I wanted to get for you/'us'. I guess I won't get them. I still have b'day gift. I don't know what to do with it. I wonder what you've done with all my stuff. You never asked me if I wanted it back. Why? Anyhoo I miss you. Do you ever think of me? Wonder where I am or what I do? I suppose not. That makes me very sad.
  12. JonasWaingaro
    Good work! I really like the abstract as well. And yep, it comes accross as dark and moody. My permanate state these days so a fave. lol
  13. JonasWaingaro
    Awww thank ya. Made my day!
  14. JonasWaingaro
  15. JonasWaingaro
    Yeah hang in there. 2 weeks in you get panicy and start having enormous doubts. I got to 2 weeks 4 times I think, and contacted her each time. It did no good. I don't regret any of it as we are who we are. Just remember 2 or 3 weeks feels like nothing to the dumper, even though it feels like months and months for us. So that time won't hurt anything, only help you to be who you need to be for whatever is next in life. Be strong!
  16. JonasWaingaro
    Like the poem. Can't think of a title really, maybe 'space is for astronauts, not relationships!' hehe Just how I feel these days, too.
  17. JonasWaingaro
    Welcome to Ena! That's not crazy at all, that's how I found/joined ena. I think many of came by here because of the challenge. I know exactly how it feels to have your support system be the one who brought you here. Not fun. Post away, vent away, everyone's here to listen/help.
  18. JonasWaingaro
    Latest - whatever I call these now. =D I kinda like the motion, it's a little dark.
  19. JonasWaingaro
    Day...well, believe it or not - 30. I was really bad at this whole NC thing. First few months I'd drop off after a few weeks. It got me no where. Finally after getting dribs and drabs of contact, I said forget it. I'm worth more then that. And apparently worth less then that to her, since she's gone silent from the start. Anyhoo, low and behold it became 30days. Never thought I'd make that. lol It's an interesting feeling. For everyone at day1-10, hang in there. If NC is what you want/need then stick to little goals. A week, 2 weeks, etc. If you fall off, it's not the end of the world. It's a challenge, and like any good challenge difficult! If it weren't why bother?! Right? Right. NC is a tool to help you. I feel much better about me now. I'm still sad, I still miss 'us', her, and all the relationship this and thats. But I can live without her and 'us', because I can live with me. That's what NC gives you, a very precious gift. What happens now? Who knows! Solo or paired up it's the same. We simply don't know what the universe has ahead for us. Though I'm hoping for happy goodnus! Be happy everyone! It actually(yep I hated hearing this too) does get better. Yer pal JW. (no longer worlds worse NCer!, well...lol)
  20. JonasWaingaro
    Day...forever +1. Seems I'll never really hear from her again. It makes me sad when others get pings here and there, and old Charlie Brown gets a bag of rocks. I know, I know, it's a blessing in disguise but still hurts to be utterly forgotten and ignored. As I wrote elsewhere, I feel so devalued. Like the relationship meant too much to me and not nearly enough to her. I know in my heart that's not true, she did value 'us' as much as me. It simply wasn't enough in the end. Oh to be able to change this or that. Sheesh. It's almost 2010. I was promised jet-packs and wayback machines! I could use both right now. Hang in there everyone.
  21. JonasWaingaro
    Yay Lily! Yay everyone! Day...a couple of weeks. Last contact was 'friends is doable.' To put the cherry on top, 'You're special and not replaceable Yes, smiley face and all. ](*,) I guess I really haven't been NC a whole lot now. lol I've gone about 14days max. Then I break down. It's annoying. I really stink at passively watching things be decided for me. Anyhoo, after 4years it's all very frustrating. Now friends is out there - maybe. Blah. Seriously, what's wrong with these dumpers. There have been positives. I took up painting since the break. Lots of fun. This weekend I went to Ikea and got a new bed. Which was good. Still lack motivation in most things though. Have ups and downs. Been a tough week.
  22. JonasWaingaro
    Thank ya Star!
  23. JonasWaingaro
    Reading 'Goblet of Fire' now. Pretty good.
  24. JonasWaingaro
    Of course you can! Everyone is welcomed. Welcome to ena. Post away, it helps. ((hugs))
  25. JonasWaingaro
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