hmm, I would say you should take things slow and really get to know her before you have sex with her. If she is a good prospect for a relationship you should feel really comfortable withe her. There is no right way to have sex, i think everyone has it differently and that's okay. I would just be honest with her if you think it might be an issue. There is nothing wrong with talking and being open. If she freaks out on you for any reason than that should set up some warning flags for you about her values.
It does sound like your issue is caused by anxiety and I think if you can eliminate it by talking with this new woman when the time comes it will all be okay.
Hope that helps a bit.
Greg
