jul-els

If he doesn’t ask to call or meet within the first few texts, either ask him or cut bait. Whichever you think is appropriate. Just don’t waste your time with pen pals on a dating site. 

Here’s what you do. Next time you’re going to see your friend, go and get the biggest cucumber you can find. Wrap it in foil and stuff it down the front of your pants. Then when your friend sees you, you win. I can’t believe this is actually a post. Lmao 

I don’t use online dating apps anymore, but when I did, bumble was one of them and I didn’t like that feature. It cuts down your chances of making contact quite a bit imo/e. Mainly because the onus is on the woman to reach out first and most of the time they don’t. I’m guessing for reasons similar to yours. Doesn’t make much sense. They swipe, they match and then crickets, usually.
 

But after trying online dating for a year, I really didn’t find much of anything I liked about it, so take that for what it’s worth. But as a guy, my advice to you is if you’re interested, reach out. That’s what you’re there for, right? You can start the conversation and see how much he takes charge from there and whether or not you’re interested. 

Oh, just noticed this was an old thread. Oops. 

Yes, 100% normal. You have to feel it to heal it and the only healer is time. But you can be assured that at some point, sooner or later, it will run it’s course. This is how we learn and grow. 

No, her actions weren’t unreasonable imo, but the bigger picture here is you appear to have too much emotional investment in your friend’s relationship. They’re adults. They’ll handle it. Leave it be. 

It comes down to what you can accept and what you can’t. Your boundaries and your beliefs. If his hunting is a dealbreaker for you, then so be it. 

What you did was potentially thoughtful and loving, but going to an ex was where you slipped up. It’s awkward at best and questionable/inappropriate at worst. Telling him where you got them put a match to the fuse, unfortunately. Sorry about that, but it’s a lesson going forward. 

There’s only one way to quit and that’s to stop. Simple, but not easy. But if you want to quit, that’s what you have to do. It’s just a matter of how much you want to. 

Your past his none of his business and he has no right to know anything other than what you wish or don’t wish to disclose. You haven’t even met yet. At this point all you are to each other is a fantasy/idea. Him getting upset and requiring you to get tested is completely out of bounds and unreasonable. Big red flag. 

I know the feeling very well. I’ve always gone out of loyalty/obligation/being a team player. It’s always been hit or miss for me. Sometimes, I’ve had a really good time, other times I was bored. More often the latter, but the way I look at it, they’re feeding me while I’m there, they pay my salary, one evening isn’t going to break me. But that’s my take. Bottom line is you’re not obligated and if you don’t want to go, you’re completely free to respectfully decline. 

Yeah, I’d let this one go. It’s run it’s course and isn’t doing anything positive or good for you. You’ve grown apart. Cut the cord and move on. 

Leave her. She has cheated and you can’t trust her. She shows no interest in you and isn’t sorry about what she did, from the sound of it. There’s nothing left to stay around for. 

It is unreasonable and inappropriate behavior, imo. But whether or not you feel the same about it is something you have to ask yourself. Some people might be thick skinned and not be bothered by it. Myself, I wouldn’t tolerate it. 

If you want an addiction to take control of your life, you are putting yourself on the path. I’ve seen it happen to others, it’s a horrible fate that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. The devastation it leaves in it’s wake is awful. 
 

Why you would want that for yourself, I don’t know, you haven’t given us enough details, but I’d strongly advise you against choosing this destiny for yourself. 

Just now, JonClark said:

There's actually only one country between lol. 

Ok, well, there ya go. If I were you I wouldn’t spend time worrying about it. 

Sounds like a good starting plan. Remember to be creative with spending, coupons, sales, thrift stores,  garage sales, doing things for yourself where possible instead of paying for various services. Keep working hard as you move up financially, you’ll do fine. 

Regardless of what he’s driving at, it’s wasting your time. Tell him you want to keep your relationship on a professional level going forward. 

He sounds confused with mixed messages. I’d keep him at an arm’s length, if at all. 

I don’t know. There’s an entire ocean between you, so I wouldn’t spend too much time worrying about it. 

He’s putting you through a lot of emotional anguish due to his own emotional instability. This is what he has to offer you. The choice to accept it is yours. If scraps are what you want, then that’s what you’ll get. That’s what he has to offer. It isn’t going to change. 

If it’s new, don’t call it love. Keep your eyes open, give it time and think with your head before you open your heart. 

No. If it doesn’t work then you’re still stuck with that person while you’re at work. Too many people in the dating pool outside of work for that to be worth it. 

I would let this one go. Based on what you’ve said about him he sounds very confused and doesn’t have much to offer you in the way of a healthy, happy connection. Just a lot of heartache. Move on and give yourself the opportunity to find someone in a more healthy state of mind.