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Confused_kelly

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  1. Confused_kelly
    All break ups are hard, even more so when we are not the ones that wanted things to end. What were the reasons for the break up? What was his attitued or aproach when you broke up? I know it hurts, its normal, just let it all out, and take it one day at a time.
  2. Confused_kelly
    Oh my god Im so jealous , in a good way of course, that is really sweet of you. Your girlfirend is a very lucky woman. Hope everything works as planned
  3. Confused_kelly
  4. Confused_kelly
    Nothing more to add, they said it all
  5. Confused_kelly
    Thats whats killing me too. Even more so because I was pregnant, and Iwill get to see him be a father, to another baby... We had everything planned out, this killed the joy. He actually used to live with her, so I thought well, getting married wont be a huge thing since he had lived with her, but I thought well at we can have something between each other he hasnt had with anyone else, babies, and now, I feel I cant offer anything new to him, we wont have something of our own.
  6. Confused_kelly
    He also feels like I should understand becuase I come from divorced parents, but again I didnt brought that situation on myself. Its quitedifferent. I do eel bad about not having remorse for the baby. I mean its not going to be the first or last baby brought to this world without married parents, or parents in a relationship
  7. Confused_kelly
    Thats the thing. He tells me he has no other way around it and that he has accepted it so I should to. But I feel its not quite that easy for me. You see, he got himself into this, its his baby, so of course he has no other option, but its another story for the people you drag into the situation. I idnt get anyone pregnant. Im not pregnant either, so its difficult to accpet a consequnce of somebody elses actions.. My biggest fear is that I will not be able to stomach it. I cant even say the ex's name let alone her name and the phrase your baby along with it.
  8. Confused_kelly
    Oh my god, Im actually going thorugh something similar. Although eh didnt cheat on me, I still feel betrayed. I dont know how much help I can be, but the people who have responded to my thread really are, so the thread is called babies and exes or the other way around. You should read it.
  9. Confused_kelly
    One of the reasons I feel so bad, its my dr told me I had to be on bed rest. I did rest but not like he told me to, because of college, I am in my last year and have some very important classes, also no one in my family knew, so it would have seem weird me ona bed all day. I partly feel guilty for that. I do admit it was not the time to have a baby, but I got used to the idea.
  10. Confused_kelly
    Thank you so much to everyone. I really nee reassurance everyday . Its the only way Im coping with this. I have talked to him about how hurt I feel , although I have not found the way to tell him how I feel about the loss of my babies and this. I;m afraid to open up that can of worms, Ive been stuffing it inside to "lessen" the pain. This was supposed to be the best christmas in a long time and it has turned out to be a disaster.I dont know why, but I feel like he chose her baby over mine, even though he had nothing to do with the miscarriage, its just the way it feels. Because im off of college because of the holidays I have way too much time in my hands to think about this. That makes it worse. Dont know if I should talk to him about it on this time I dont want to fight. My fear is Im getting a bit depressed, clinically I mean, and I have seen some sogns of anxiety as well. The only thing that makes me feel better is the engagement and the positive things Ive read, I thinkI do need to realize its not about me, but I dont know how. One things that worsens the situation is no one knows, not my friends , not my family.
  11. Confused_kelly
    I had the same problem, How to break it off? It was awful I ended up doing everything wrong, my advice, be hnest from the beginning, it saves a lot of problems later on. I know sometimes the truth hurts but its better tahns lying and then him finding out it was a lie , because youll come accross as a very cruel person.
  12. Confused_kelly
    dnozzle, Im sorry to hear that. that was actually one of the signs I had but didnt listen to, I was looking for the level of commitment I had with my ex very quickly with this new guy. I cares about him a alot. I have tried to make him stop talking to me so he can heal first, he doesnt want to. It feels awful knowing what I did to him for 4 years. I wish I could take it back. The thing is, uksco, you have to step back and looke at athose things because believe me its better you find out now the reasons you are doing this, its not fun to hurt people. get out while its still early and think things through, you dont have to go to your ex right away, turns out what me and my ex needed was some time apart because we were both at turning point in our life (I was 18 , he was 21) so that sort of thing happens. Dont be afraid to be alone, you never really are
  13. Confused_kelly
    Im going to be hinest with you, I went thorugh a similar thing a few years ago. I was having probems with my boyfriend and I met this guy that seemed perfect , he made me laugh , he was sweet etc, My bf and I broke up and I started seeing this other guy,. At first everything was great, with time came the comparisons and the arguments. My mistake was that I didnt leave him right there. I led him on. He was so in love and I felt more miserable everyday. I really think you should reconsider this relationship. The fact that its a relationship so soon after the other one is a big factor. You may have been looking for what was missing fromm your other relationship in him, but maybe you are starting to realize that you want those things on your ex. I came accross my ex and I had to leave the guy to reunite with him. Dont hurt him its not fair. Give yourself a break to think things over
  14. Confused_kelly
    Im actually not pregnant anymore, thats why I feel so awful. I really feel helpless. I dont sleep very much because I wake up with this weird feeling, like a pressure on my chest from thinkinhg about that. He says I have nothing to worry about, but still it kills me he wants me to be happy about a baby thats not mine when I lost mines so recently. Another thing is she hates me, she is being really nice about everything making me look like the paranoid one, even telling him she doesnt want child support. But I thinks thats dangerous because what happens if she gets mad and decided oh now I want child support for all those years you didnt give it to me? Another fear is that she is going to move back here. My boyfriend wants to get married in december. Now my family thinks we have been together a bit longer because even though he had his gf he came over, so now with this, it's going to seem to them like he cheated on me beause of the time frame, and Im so humiliated by what they might thought. Ive always worked very hard to get the life I want and I feel he has ruined so much sacrificies with this. To top it I tried talking to him about it. He was very supportive the first 2 times, but this third time he got mad saying how I cant let it go and he cant do anythng about it. Its just not easy.
  15. Confused_kelly
    Ok , Before I tell you my problem I have to do a little recap. My current boyfriend and I met 9 years ago. We dated for 5 years, then we both kind of drifted apart, started talking to other people so we broke up. During the remaining 4 years we both had serious relationships. We got together again maybe 10 months ago, and we discovered how much we really love each other and how we never really got over it. We didnt do anything about it because we were both still in our relationships. We each left our partners that was 4 months ago. His ex moved to the US, in october I found out I was pregnant, when I was on my two months(november) my bf received a call from his ex, she was 6 months pregnant. Between that and the stress from my classes ta college I lost my babies(they were twins). It really has affected me a lot. The problem is we got engaged yesterday, but I really feel awful about him having a baby with the ex. I mean she still wants him back, and I know he needs me to be supportive, but its really hard to be supportive about him having a baby with another woman because I feel like its a reminder of my loss, Ive cried my eyes out about this. There are some selfish thoughts too, I mean he is the love of my life, so its not easy seeing him have a baby with someone else. If maybe he had already had the child when we reunited thigs wouyld be different. But they are not. I feel its not fair. That baby is going to be his first,it may sound stupid but I feel now that mine , when we have them, wont be as special. I also fear her using the baby to make him feel guilty. Im so deppressed about the situation I dont sleep, I cant see babies, or kids or pregnant woman, not even pregnancy tests commercials without getting angry at him. I dont know what to do or if Ill feel better about this at some point.
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