suram
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Everything posted by suram
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goodwaves im really sorry for hearing this, its really messed up, posting here does help... from my part ive ben through that not as intense though .... i think she backed off from the pressure, lets say her parents and friends are the biggest influence ever... FIRST I WOULD ASK WHY AGAINST YOU? WHAT IS THE CAUSE? and then i would say no matter what love cant influence you ever she would not listen believe me.... i think you should just text her and ask for a reason if she still doesnt reply then maintain NC for awhile i did that and eventually got my answer.... SECOND .... SHE could be hiding some form of guilt that she has done to you and hiding it not knowin how to come clean maybe she is thinking of telling you that she messed up.... i would like to know if u ever messed up? cause she could be holding a grudge on that? keep posting here it will help we are here for you buddy!!!
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ok buddy.... she is def provoking you to talk to her ... her attempt to to pursue giult on you is an act of defense against rejection... she feels pressure because you are not there .... give it more time and eventually breAk it to her with a breeze that you cannot be played with.. explain to her that you cannot be friends and if she wants you to respect her decision of being apart then she has to respect yours ... the good thing here is that she thinks you don care she is starting to believe that you really wont talk to her ... at first she thought she had you and you could not possibly... dont let the guilt do that to you if anything sh should feel guilty... let her know how serious you are about nc... BUT NOT JUST YET... BE PATIENT WAIT MORE ....
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ok but you claim you love her .... so then prove it for starters give her space to think ... you should not be ok with it it doesnt matter if she said ..... you should stop confusing her ... if you love someone you could not see them suffer and right now she is suffering from confusian so cure her by giving her (time ,space, )and plus its for the sake of both of you eventually it tends to be positive... " a wound is healed when left alone not when picking on the scabs it only tends to scar "
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dude please stop questioning us because apparently you don seem to respect her ok for starters you are on her page posting comments ..... if you really love her let her be she needs time to think you are abusing her space and thats really selfish of you .... lets assume you do regret and you do love her if thats so then give her the time and space to develop... you are only messing her mind....
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blender you put the words out of my mouth GREAT ADVICE!!! NO CONTACT DONT PICK UP.... she is thinking about you and it the call was not by mistake ..... make her feel really guilty and she will .... right now you are thinking what if and so on .... NO she callled to check up on you but deep inside she missed your voice and misses having you around .... She will burn down 6 weeks is still raw you have t be patient but it looks like she will break ... REMEMBER SHE MADE THE MOVE AND NOT YOU!!! THE BALL IS IN YOUR COURT NOW BECAUSE YOU KNOW SHE IS THINKING OF YOU BUT SHE DOESNT KNOW YOU ARE THINKING OF HER..... KEEP IT UP GOOD JOB.... NO CONTACT....
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SuperDave, I made all the mistakes, I need some guidance
suram replied to goodwaves's topic in Getting Back Together
okay buddy.... 1) read your message one more time and think about what you have said .... 2)definetly dont break nc, you are just looking for an excuse to talk to her.. 3)the way you are thinking about her she is thinking about you let it be known even if she begins dating others she would compare them (6 years). 4) she knows you have not forgotten about her but that is the PROBLEM!!! WE want her to know that you have forgotten her... NC stick to it it is for you to heal ... 5)about parents and all - it doesnt matter when 2 ppl love each other so much parents would not be an issue believe that.... 6) you say you believe in god well then you would know he wants the best for you... 5/6 times breaking up probably are signs from him telling you she is not the one.... 7)give yourself time to heal don break it by time you will see everything and sooner or later you would know whats best for yourself ... 8)you said unexpectedly she would come back right!!! thats because you have maintained nc in the past and healed in order to see that outcome so thereforeeee nc again is preferrable 9)don pressure yourself into thinking mode ... keep busy you will see you will tend to forget her.... im not superdave i do agree he is great!!! i hope i helped in anyway ... Goodluck out there we are with you if you need us... keep us posted. -
then be patient and not selfish!!! if he sees your value to its greatest potential he would not want to lose you... at the moment be there if he decides to abuse it fall back and you will see he would wish you were in his life......
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good job !! give yourself the space ...i personally think you shouldnt have been to open with him ..... but since its done you can relax and get yourself straight ..... keep us posted good job seriously make sure you maintain nc it will really help you!!!
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she misses me thats what she says and because we are in the same country
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ya i did !!! she says she wants to be alone she wants to be single!!!
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the biggest one actually respecting your decision..... understanding you thats what love is about... and then the risk of losing you would allow him to do alot of actions
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I HAVE 1 QUESTION? why would you want to leave such a sweet person if you love them? and i think you need to really appreciate what shes worth leaving her for someone does not imply you love her buddy!! it more like defines the opposite ...
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exactly!! that whi you should maintain nc at the moment .... if he loves you let him prove it and not by WORDS!!!
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b4 going nc (if you chose to) be honest about all with joey!!
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no more im worried when he is with you he wouldnt want anymore you know!!!!
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yes at the moment you need whats best for you!! you don need the confusion... as much as it hurts im going to be honest with you i THINK!! if chris truly loved you he would want you happy and not play games with you ....for now do nc and about pleasing everyone you need to please yourself first!!!!
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ok i get where you are comin from!!!! don worry its ok to argue we are here to help each other so no worries there.... lsn then the best you could do at the moment is go nc you need to understand the connection for both ....maybe with chris there is no closure.... try this : write on a piece of paper the pros and cons of both and weigh them out.... what im worried about is chris could be doing this cause he doent have you you know ...the connection is strong then see from his side if it isnot through words....it souldnt be too bad for joey because its only been 2 months...but for now i would say go nc and tell them you need time for yourself...
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dont break up with him if he is treating yo very well i agree that you need time alone to heal.... but if joey claims he loves you then he would start posting here....(hahaa) kidding.... llisten you would inflict a wound and he apparently doesnt deserve it ... the question is do u see yourself loving joey? did chris do you wrong? my advice would be of 2 1- singletill you know what you want this would involve nc or lc for a short period of time ,till you are ready.. 2- don break up with joey but maintain lc with chris because at the moment its still fresh and the outcome is good (you should be lookin for security and happiness) ..you say chris knows he can have you back well now maybe its because you are with joey and when you go back to chris he would do it again.. the way i see it is chris wants what isnt his while joey wants what is you see the picture .... keep us posted !! suram
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hey tata i understand where you are coming from ..... i was once that guy ... so i hope i might be helpful. blender makes perfect sense greta advice blender.... but to add on... i really think in order to forget someone you love you have to find someone else so in my opinion i think you should hang on be patient... if he ends up going back to her then go FULL NC it will kill him believe... he will start seeing the difference in her and you and would wish he was with you!! so i think you should be patient he needs you now ... if you really care about him show him you are better then the person that left him ... i dont want to confuse at all but this is what happened to me awhile back now im another person seeking advice .... keep us posted i hope i helped in any way....
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hey all,, im stuck i could really use some advice... ok here goes.... i split up with my ex 5 months ago , we have been doin long distance for over three years ,, she is the love of my life last year she cheated on me with her ex bf and confronted me and after so much guilt i forgave her and we got back... only for a fe months until then again she leaves claiming she wants to be alone... she has contacted me 4 times in the past four months all of which saying she loves me so much and misses everythin in us but is not ready to be in a relationship(no idea why!!) in 5 days we are going to be in the same country and im assuming she wil try to see me but she keeps playing these games i have done evrythin for this person and i want her in my life for good !!! she has flipped moods recently acting like im a stranger and i have no idea how to get her back!!! and i am scared to see her... not knowing the outcome.... she keeps flipping one day love and one day no !! its just too complicated we were toooo much in love and families are involved she has even told everyone that she would want to get married but i feel its all talk she says it but at the moment she wants to be alone... i feel im losing her more and more(plaaazz for anyone out there the more advice i get the better i would like to reach many opinions before i conclude my decision...) i havent done anything in 5 months only thinkin about her..... it would mean alot to me thank you in advance !!! she called me saying she is comin over to see me !! WHAT DO I DO ? PLZ?
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its amazing how you can help others but when it comes to yourself, you have no idea what to doo.... i am kina going throughth the same thing maybe i can be useful 1.1 week is nothing u need to be patient ,,, show her by leaving you she has done a huge mistake make her always approach you... so nc for awhilewould be better.... 2.ok in giving up you should be thinkin as of now not 3 weeks nor few months u have already given up.... she needs to know that ..put it in your head that u have given up and thats that(it will be hard but its better for you ) both ways the outcome are good cuz u would have been stronger... 3.for christmas , if you are gonna text her try texting simple and not just focused to her try aiming for her family or friends to with practically the same message but its more advisable u dont text at all... let her always make the move ...since she decided it then respect her decision don push her buddy you are not overthinking its normal ive gone crazy from my ..... im as lost as you lol ... just remember let her miss you let her keep pursuing you... hope i was helpful and GOOD LUCK
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hey all,, im stuck i could really use some advice... ok here goes.... i split up with my ex 5 months ago , we have been doin long distance for over three years ,, she is the love of my life last year she cheated on me with her ex bf and confronted me and after so much guilt i forgave her and we got back... only for a fe months until then again she leaves claiming she wants to be alone... she has contacted me 4 times in the past four months all of which saying she loves me so much and misses everythin in us but is not ready to be in a relationship(no idea why!!) in 5 days we are going to be in the same country and im assuming she wil try to see me but she keeps playing these games i have done evrythin for this person and i want her in my life for good !!! she has flipped moods recently acting like im a stranger and i have no idea how to get her back!!! and i am scared to see her... not knowing the outcome.... she keeps flipping one day love and one day no !! its just too complicated we were toooo much in love and families are involved she has even told everyone that she would want to get married but i feel its all talk she says it but at the moment she wants to be alone... i feel im losing her more and more(plaaazz for anyone out there the more advice i get the better i would like to reach many opinions before i conclude my decision...) i havent done anything in 5 months only thinkin about her..... it would mean alot to me thank you in advance !!! WHAT DO I DO ? PLZ?
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hey all,, im stuck i could really use some advice... ok here goes.... i split up with my ex 5 months ago , we have been doin long distance for over three years ,, she is the love of my life last year she cheated on me with her ex bf and confronted me and after so much guilt i forgave her and we got back... only for a fe months until then again she leaves claiming she wants to be alone... she has contacted me 4 times in the past four months all of which saying she loves me so much and misses everythin in us but is not ready to be in a relationship(no idea why!!) in 5 days we are going to be in the same country and im assuming she wil try to see me but she keeps playing these games i have done evrythin for this person and i want her in my life for good !!! she has flipped moods recently acting like im a stranger and i have no idea how to get her back!!! and i am scared to see her... not knowing the outcome.... she keeps flipping one day love and one day no !! its just too complicated we were toooo much in love and families are involved she has even told everyone that she would want to get married but i feel its all talk she says it but at the moment she wants to be alone... i feel im losing her more and more(plaaazz for anyone out there the more advice i get the better i would like to reach many opinions before i conclude my decision...) i havent done anything in 5 months only thinkin about her..... it would mean alot to me thank you in advance !!! WHAT DO I DO ? PLZ?