I wrote here before about the same guy I’m writing about today. The only difference is instead of me not being able to get over him; it’s him who wants me back.
Chris and I dated from when I was a junior in high school to a senior. He was a freshman in high school when we started dating. Our relationship was good at first; we hung out all the time and had a lot of fun. Then he started flirting with other girls and eventually broke up with me to be with one. (I know this might seem absurd to even write about because I know it seems like it wasn’t important because we were so young.) Anyway, he came back to me eventually but we ended up breaking up again because I couldn’t trust him not to break up with me again for someone else. We still talked and acted like we were together for periods of time until he would decide he wanted to try someone new. When things would end with the new girl he left me for, he would come back to me saying that he couldn’t stop thinking about me even when he was with them and that he wanted to be with me but he was afraid he would hurt me again by wanting someone new. I would take him back and it would happen all over again.
The summer before I went to college we talked some about getting together but it didn’t happen. We were still sexually involved, though. When I left for college I began not having any contact with him at all. I just thought it was better for both of us to move on.
It’s been about 3 and a half months since I left for college and I have a boyfriend now that I’ve been with for 2 months. I live in the dorms and he lives down the hall from me. Our relationship has moved pretty quickly. We started sleeping with each other after less than a month and we already say that we love each other. The relationship has been great, we can tell each other everything and we have a lot of fun when we’re together. We both have had some problems in the past in our lives and we feel comfortable talking about them with each other. Being with Joey has made me realize how it feels to be in a healthy and stable relationship.
Now I will tell you the problem, since I wouldn’t be writing here if there weren’t one… A couple weeks ago I called Chris when I was drunk. Why? Because even when I was with Joey I would think about Chris everyday. Not necessarily think about how I missed him but just thought about him in general. So I called him one night while Joey was passed out. I called his house and woke up his step mom about 5 times, I didn’t end up talking to Chris at all though. The next day I texted chris and told him that I had called…I’m not sure why I did any of this looking back on it. But Chris surprised me by telling me he still loved me and thought about me all the time. He told me that no girl he has been with has compared to me. He told me he was sorry for hurting me in the past and that the unsure feeling was gone. That now he was positive that he was ready to be with me and he was sure he would never hurt me again.
I am home for Christmas Break and Chris lives down the street. He came and saw me last night and we talked for four hours and just hung out. He told me everything he’s told me before, about how he wants to start again and how I’m the one for him. He came over again today and Joey called while he was over. Joey and I are now on a “break” until I figure out what I want to do. I know I haven’t been fair to Joey at all by seeing and talking to Chris. But I’ve wanted to hear this from Chris for years and I finally believe he’s telling the truth. I have no idea what to do because I have feelings for both of them. I sort of want to stay with Joey and see where that goes, because I believe that if Chris and I were really meant to be that it would happen eventually. But Chris doesn’t want to wait while I go out with Joey and I can’t say that I blame him. I’m not sure what to do because i still love chris just as much as i used to. Some advice would be appreciated. If you have any questions I’ll be checking back frequently!!
