fridagrrl

From what I know, I don't think that he's a pathological liar. I haven't caught him in any major lies....in fact I've only confronted him about one. He seems to be a really "by the book" kind of person. He just tells stories that seem out of the ordinary (for an ordinary person like me). I don't know if I'm ready to pursue a relationship with him at this point, but I would like to remain friends because I think he's a really cool person. Don't know what will come of all this..... I hope it's for the best.

valiantv: I think that I usually judge a book by it's cover.....sometimes I'm right and sometimes I dislike someone in the beginning only to discover they are wonderful people later on. My main concern is that I DON'T want to repeat my past. I was married to a VERY dishonest man....I KNEW he was dishonest, yet I stayed with him for many,many years ( thinking I could change him). I talked to my dad last night and he suggested that I let him meet my man and he would size him up. He said that my ability to trust is going to be something I will need to work really hard on, but that if I don't start somewhere I will never trust anyone. He said a ratio of 80% trust to 20% mistrust is good for relationships and suggested I'm probably at a 60% trust 40% mistrust. valiantv, I think you probably have a point here.....maybe I'm just paranoid?!?!

My kids only met him once because I agree that kids don't get dating....I didn't want them to meet him until things got serious but they met him 1 day when there was an emergency.....Either way they only thought he was a friend and never saw him again. and melrich: All of what I wrote there happened in the beginning of the "relationship" so to speak....For the last month there was nothing.

Valiantv: You're right about the online translator. I used it because I don't speak his language (hungarian). I speak 3 languages fluently and have working knowledge of 2. But if someone were to write me a note I'd figure out the jist....I think I've heard him speak with other people in his language and it sounds like he knows it....so maybe it was just a mistake for me to use an online translator. and Flower 99: I TOTALLY trusted him when I left on a trip....gave him a key to my house and my alarm code....he took care of my animals for me while I was gone. He even called me EVERYDAY when I was in another country. I believed that we had the same core values...I think he is kind and generous to the people around him....There are TONS of good things about him.... It's just this "feeling".....could this be a feeling left over from my last relationship that I'm going to pin on every guy that comes around. He's been around my kids and he's really sweet to them....he accepts me as a package deal and talks about building a future with me and them. I don't know......I really am confused......

Money is not an issue for me.....I paid for most of everything when I was married and I loved my ex-husband dearly, even though he used me ( I paid for most of our vacations etc....) So I'm used to doing that. This guy is TOTALLY different from a financial stand point. I'm not interested in his money....I just don't want to end up as I did last time and I don't want to be lied to.... I'm not a gold-digger....far from it....I want a quality person, that's all.

I was considering asking some of his friends on myspace about him. Does that seem psycho?

I don't think he's ever lied about anything important. He seems really hard-working and has supported his mom for many years. His lie by omission may have been that he forgot.....or that he didn't want to hurt my feelings..... He continues to pursue me and I like talking to him....so it's not that I hate the person that he is....i just don't want to date a different version of my ex. btw.....he may just be into telling stories about himself....i've just never met someone like that. And yes, the stories are from generations ago...he likes geneology.

I really don't know: Here's the run down.... 1st date: Met at fancy restaurant, gave me a rose, paid for everything.... 2nd date: Took me to dinner and a movie, paid for everything. 3rd date: Took me out for the day, ate at fancy restaurant, offered to buy me things of which I said no, thank you. Interim: Bought presents for my kids, has come to have "dates" with me at my house because I can't go out... has brought me: fancy desserts, 2 dozen roses (twice), fancy drinks with champagne flutes included, expensive champagne to welcome me back from a trip ( with berries), has given me cd's ( store bought and homemade). and for christmas: gave me an expensive gift certificate to a fancy spa for a massage with all the trimmings, some lingerie and scented body butters. Oh*!!!! and cooked me dinner once too.....it was delicious. Maybe I'm making him out to be the bad guy?!?!

He didn't lie about his looks...it still looked like him, but he weighed about 30 lbs. more than in his picture. And he claims that he can trace his last name back to many generations that are attached to a very high class in his country ( which i looked up on line and it seemed true). About the language thing, I wrote him a card in his language using an online translator ( don't know how effective it was ) and he didn't know what it said.....he said I used the wrong grammar or something. I don't know. I'm just confused because he seems like he could offer me a lot. I've been to his work and I know he makes quite a bit of $ ( I'm not a gold-digger) and he now says that he's buying a house in hopes of spending his future with me. What do you think?

I met a guy on an online dating service back in Nov. We chatted on messenger and on the phone for about 3 weeks till I finally agreed to meet him in person. When I met him he didn't look as I had imagined ( overweight and not super attractive) but I gave him a chance. I prayed about the relationship and continued to see him and he finally "grew" on me. He's told me his life story and lots of other stories that don't seem ordinary ( his family comes from royalty in europe, he speaks multiple languages ( which I tested ( I'm a linguist) and doesn't seem true, he knows famous people). I will admit that I'm naive and basically believed everything. Well, back in December I caught him "lying by omission" to me which started the little root of mistrust in my soul. I come from a REALLY bad relationship where my ex lied and cheated and used me. So this little root is starting to develop a mind of it's own....to the point where I'm sabotaging everything. I broke up with my guy on sunday because he was giving me "that feeling" and I felt like he was ignoring me. He was in actuality busy at work and with his extended family. So he called me tues. night crying that he missed me and wants me back. He seems like a nice guy.....it's just those stories. He also promised me a whole bunch of things ( I'll spoil you) of which I haven't seen ( I wonder if he's afraid that I just like him to get stuff from him). I have serious trust issues and it's making me sabotage everything. I told him that maybe I wasn't ready for a relationship just yet but he claims that he'll help me get through everything and that he only wants to see me happy and with a smile on my face. Should I give him another chance?

He sounds just like my ex-husband too!!! These people are addicts and cling to different things at different times. Seems like he's "addicted" to you....addicts lead double lives. He is one guy, the secrective guy, and he is also the clingy needy guy, that wants to move in with you on day one. It's NOT A HEALTHY person you're dealing with here. BE CAREFUL and I would agree with the others here....RUN!!!!

my ex-husband acted the same way when he cheated on me. he expected me to "get over it" and continued to do things that broke my trust. if you don't have TRUST in a relationship you don't have ANYTHING!!!! i tried for 5 more years after the fact and now i can honestly say that i have PEACE OF MIND!!!! there's NOTHING worse than wondering about that sort of thing on a daily basis....and the old saying is probably true....once a cheater, always a cheater... about your child....at 3 yrs old they will probably not remember.... i went back when mine were 2 and 3 and finally ended it now at 5 and 6.... it's MUCH WORSE when they're older....

So i dumped him.....he didn't seem very upset. (hint?) I asked him why he hadn't called me back.....made up a stupid excuse ( 3 actually). Then proceeded to say that he loved me....asked if I didn't want to see him 1 more time?!?! ( i said NO!!!) So later that night I received a text from him saying that he'd always love me and that i'd be in his heart forever.... One of my friends says he's a player.... The other says there's NO WAY he could be a player ( he's overweight, bald and average looking). My gut TOLD me that something was NOT RIGHT....too many stories of grandeur and too many weird things... did i do the right thing?!?! i kinda miss him

wow!!! i really feel for you perhaps you should REALLY sit down and talk....do you think he'll open up about what's bothering him?!?! perhaps do something special for him that shows that YOU care....give him a massage, cook for him, etc... maybe he feels like it's everything/one is demanding from him?!?! It might be a last resort/option to see how he reacts to this.... and if not then maybe you need to really evaluate your pro's and con's.

Yeah ,I "feel" like something is not right. He has excuses for EVERY little thing. Why do you need excuses if you're not doing anything?!?! I can't believe this happened to me AGAIN!!!!! I will definitely end it.....SOOOOO NOT worth my time