MissDashwood

Okay, I wanted to get everyone's opinion on distinguishing certain things from being flirting and attraction, or simple mannerisms. Firstly, body language: What does it mean when a guy does ________? Age-old question. Let's say you're talking to a guy who is sitting; you're standing. The two of you are laughing and it's a nice conversation. He leans back with his hands over his head, stretching, while you stand above him. What does that mean? Or, you're sitting next to him and he is constantly moving, but he seems to be moving closer to you. Maybe he says something to you and leans closer to talk, but he doesn't pull back - he continues to lean. Or, he spreads his legs further while sitting next to you and one leg happens to bump yours, but he doesn't pull away, and instead your legs rest against each other. What could all of this mean? Or comfortable silences - how do you know you have one and what makes it a comfortable silence? What if you are walking along and he starts humming? Or whistling? Or what about being completely outgoing and easy at times, but at others clamming up and not having much to say? What does it mean if he will be really talkative at one point but then later in the day he doesn't seem to have anything to say and talk is a little forced? Or, what if you think he likes you but you're not sure, and he introduces you as "my friend" to his friends. What if rumors start about X girl being interested in Y guy - what will happen? If he likes her is it likely that he'll tell the truth to the third party? Will he feel pressured to finally "do something" about liking X girl? Is it true that all guys, if they really like a girl, will do a lot for the girl to impress her? What kinds of things? If the guy isn't always doing something for her, but does some, does that mean he's "just not that interested?" What if a guy is unsure how to proceed, especially if he's never had an actual relationship before, is it less likely that he'll take initiative all the time? Please post/answer any and all questions. This thread is to be used for anyone who is confused about actions/behavior by any individual. If you have a question about a girl, let's hear it. If you are wondering what a guy means when he does _______, by all means, ask and we'll try to help.

Thanks! Yeah, it's really strange because he's so easygoing and fun and nice and all, and he can be really easy to talk to, but then at times he clams up for a while. Like I was talking on AIM and it was funny because he wasn't saying much. And today at lunch he didn't say much, but then later tonight he was more talkative with me. Although, when I think about it, I'm kinda like that too. But also, I think we have those comfortable silences like they mention in Pulp Fiction - he and I can be walking at night from the volunteer job and he'll start whistling and I don't feel the necessity to talk. We do talk for the most part, but when there are gaps, it doesn't feel too uncomfortable.

Thank you SarCareBear. I felt like the comments from the one before you were off-base so it's nice to get feedback from someone who can understand the situation rather than offer strange advice in how to detract myself from him. Thanks again! I think all this will amount to for me is a time game - how long it will take for anything to happen - everything will happen as it happens and I just need to have patience. But it's hard; I had patience for quite a while with the first guy I ever liked and it turned out to not happen at all in the end and he and I are just friends now. I'd like to see at least one relationship happen that isn't one-sided and ends in "friends."

Regarding the way I treat people in the dorm, I am pleasant and outgoing and friendly with everyone, but I have shown him more attention and I talk more with him. My point is that I am just nervous that he's still afraid I am not interested in him beyond hanging out. I don't think it's a matter of giving myself tons of "self respect" by backing off and waiting around for something to come to me. I've spent much of my life with that attitude and nothing ever seems to come of it. I just came back from my volunteer work with him so at least I got forty minutes of walking with him in plus the twenty minutes we were there for volunteering. He explained that he has 120 pages of reading plus a 7-page paper for the same class due this week and he can't do the paper until he's done most of the reading. Plus he has a quarter of a textbook to read for biology and work on its outline. He hasn't even come out of his room the whole day and he doesn't think he'll be out tomorrow until late. He's got good reason to not be able to go downtown today. But he and I are going to see Pirates 2 next Friday and there's a Halloween dance thing too the same night. And he also won't tell me exactly what his costume is. And we were talking about some interesting stuff on the way back from volunteering. He was telling about the thesis of his paper and that it has to do with two people who are in love, but religion breaks them up and the man joins a monestary while forcing the woman to join a nunnery and that he did it not because he was protecting his reputation but because he actually really loves her. Something of that nature. Then he also happened to make a joke about "virgin" eyes, regarding kids at Halloween seeing a guy in drag (someone from last year did it). I know that's overanalysis but who cares. lol Anyhoo, he seemed genuinely sorry to not be able to hang out tonight. He said he'll rent Superman Returns when it's on video and we can watch it then.

I'm in college right now and I like this guy who I have been told is either shy and so I should give him more signals, or I'm too available for him and should back off and wait for him to do something first, or that he's a player playing the game and trying to find someone amongst many. I like him and I have been told that it would seem he likes me, but no one has made a definitive move yet. I'm tired of sitting around wondering what that dinner last weekend meant or whether it means anything that he likes to sit near me during movies in our house lounge in my dorm! Or what it means that he gets less talkative in periodic installments or isn't super super interested in me, like jumping at every opportunity to hang out with me, etc. Does that mean anything that he puts homework ahead of a potential girlfriend or whatever? I don't. But I've been told it means he's "just not that into me" or whatever! Can't I just go up to him tonight after he and I go see Superman Returns and bluntly ask him if he likes me more than a friend? See what he says, and tell him that I like him more than a friend, and see where it all goes? I think it would make things a lot more clear than what they are now!!!

Batya: I have shown interest but not super aggressive interest. I don't always make a bee-line straight for him and I don't hang on his every word. I talk with everyone and I act fun-loving and natural towards anyone in my house. I don't want to totally back off and act distant with the fear that he'll take it as me not being interested in him and thereforeeee he'll be more distant and then we'll get nowhere except for further away from where I'd like to be. I have found that being in college is a tad bit difficult for "relationships" especially as there are others experiencing similar problems. I'm afraid that if I say I like him as more than a friend that he'll get awkward because he doesn't feel that way. But there's also the chance that he feels the same way towards me - too afraid to do anything outright blunt because I might reject him! He does little things which make me think one thing, but then counters it with something else. He doesn't act the same around everyone, like he doesn't intentionally sit by people which others have noticed him doing with me. He doesn't pay for other friends' food without telling them to pay him back (yet he paid for mine). Also, we go to a really top-notch school which requires a lot of time put into work, so I can imagine that perhaps he has a lot to do and going downtown early today would mess up his schedule, especially if he intends on going to the movie tonight which won't end until around 2 am. It wouldn't be prudent to spend 4 pm until 8 pm downtown and then come back only to leave again at 10:30 until 2:30 am! If he has tons of homework then he can stay in, eat food in his room while working, then be done in time to go out tonight for the movie. I'm hoping! I just think that there is an overwhelming fear of things souring or not working out or causing problems in other ways when two people from the same house in a dorm get together. Perhaps that is the leading factor for no one being up front about anything. I dunno. But I don't think he's ever had a girlfriend before, and I've never had a boyfriend, so that adds to the troubles, I think. This is annoying, that's all I have to say.

Um, I haven't seen him for more than 30 minutes between last Sunday night and Thursday night. Then hardly at all yesterday. And he emails me too. I don't always begin the email conversations. It's not like I see and talk to him all the time every day. During the week everyone is scarce because they have enormous amounts of homework to do. Yet he still manages to send emails and, when I do see him, such as Thursday night, he makes it a point to sit near me. It's just this is a situation where nobody has tons of money to blow and plenty of time to go all over the place. Besides, the unfortunate thing is I went to confirm going to Taco Bell today and he replied saying "ahh, probably not, this next week is going to be hell on earth for me, we'll have to go next week." That's exactly what he said. Dunno if that means he's running out of money or has tons of homework to do or something. But next Saturday my mother is coming to visit so I'm getting free dinner out of her. So it will have to be the next next week. Grr. Dunno if perhaps it's just having to go downtown for the evening which makes it impossible to go. Perhaps he'll write back saying that he can go eat around here tonight, just not downtown. Hopefully.

Unfortunate, I made sure to confirm Taco Bell last night for today and he said he won't be able to go because the next week will be hell on earth and that perhaps next week, something to that effect. Not sure if he means he's running out of money or that he has tons of homework to do. Hmmm.

Okay, slightly new info. He and I were emailing yesterday and he tried getting a little "cute" with what he said. He had only gotten 2 hours of sleep the night before because he had so much reading to do plus an early class. But I'd also stayed up rather late too so I had to send out an announcement to the whole house and I did it at 3:30 am. Well around 4:30 am he got it and sent me an email back saying "Oh wow, you're awake too. I've been drinking lots of tea and I really shouldn't be awake now but it's due to reading" and then that was it. So the next day I made a comment about his functioning on 2 hours of sleep by saying I had 5.5 hours of sleep and I had a hard time staying awake while reading because the words were floaty-like. So he emailed back about needing to take a nap (this was around 4 pm the next day) and then claimed, and this was the getting cute" part, that he had no problems at all from being on two hours of sleep the whole day and that it was due to the fact that he is "of a higher breed and thereforeeee is simply a better person" - that was the email, just those lines. So I wrote back to tell him that it's not him it's the tea he's drinking. I should have said it's all in his head actually. But anyhoo. So yeah, that was one instance of him trying to be a "funny guy" because he hasn't really been too funny with me. I'm a tad bit serious and so he acts serious. So his acting a little goofy that way is new. Also, last night we all watched Sense and Sensibility, but when I came in he was on a couch but it would have been funny to squeeze myself in between he and another person when there was a whole opening on the other couch. So out of graciousness to someone else, I sat on a separate couch. But after the movie we put in Dogma and he came and sat in the chair next to me. So, yeah, but I haven't seen him all day today now so that sucks. But tonight is a "slumber party" in our house lounge so I'll see how that goes over.

New update: On Saturday he and I were going to go to Taco Bell but it happened to be closed early, so we spent some time trying to find somewhere else and ended up at a Bennigans. He paid ($26) even though that was not planned and even was suggesing dessert if I wanted some. He also made a sorta-questionable comment later when we were joking about something - it was basically to the tune of if he and I were Canada, it would be extra fun as long as I'm 19 too (drinking age there). Sounded like he meant something by that when he said it. Also, he said we're doing Taco Bell this Saturday now since we missed this past Saturday. And we watched Shrek 2 another night and he kept leaning closer to me on the couch. And then we also happened to see Dave Chappelle's Block Party too, and while sitting in the theater his leg bumped against mine, but as a test I didn't move it away. I left it be - but so did he. So for about five minutes our legs were touching. All of this mean anything new? Thanks.

New update: On Saturday he and I were going to go to Taco Bell but it happened to be closed early, so we spent some time trying to find somewhere else and ended up at a Bennigans. He paid ($26) even though that was not planned and even was suggesing dessert if I wanted some. He also made a sorta-questionable comment later when we were joking about something - it was basically to the tune of if he and I were Canada, it would be extra fun as long as I'm 19 too (drinking age there). Sounded like he meant something by that when he said it. Also, he said we're doing Taco Bell this Saturday now since we missed this past Saturday. And we watched Shrek 2 another night and he kept leaning closer to me on the couch. And then we also happened to see Dave Chappelle's Block Party too, and while sitting in the theater his leg bumped against mine, but as a test I didn't move it away. I left it be - but so did he. So for about five minutes our legs were touching. All of this mean anything new? Thanks.

Thank you guys for the responses. Been pretty helpful.

I wouldn't say that I am always at his beck and call. There are two of us who tape Lost for him because he has band practices on Wednesdays. It's not like I'm reaching very far for him there as I know how to work VCRs easily. And I make it a point to make myself available for different things because I don't want to be left out or not thought of. That's been a normal thing in my life with people and now that I'm in college, I want to be remembered and asked to join in for something rather than forgotten because they don't know if I'm interested. In his case, I want him to know that I'll watch Lost episodes with him because if he didn't know I had a great interest, he wouldn't be coming to my door at midnight. I suppose this is all carrying over from the last person I liked. It took me three years to become close with the guy only it didn't come to anything. I invested a lot of patience in a guy who turned out to be "just friends" and now I'm nervous that I'll get stuck in another "just friends" situation.

I'm just nervous that sitting that close would scare him off. It's easy when it's a movie theater, but when there's a couch that fits four people (albeit somewhat uncomfortably) and there are people in the room and yet you're the only two on the couch, it's a tad funny so I don't want to scare him off. How would I know if he doesn't want me that close?

Well, my attempts to send signals that aren't overly aggressive (like some girls) include: casual emailing, taping new episodes of Lost for him, always game for hanging out with him, and adding the cutesy factor to chatting. Like for instance, where we're at for college doesn't have a nearby Taco Bell and he said he's yet to find one and we're both anxious to get to one. Well, I Googled it and found one sort of nearby so I posted a post-it note to the taped Lost episode I plan to give him tonight. Also, where we work at the student movie theater, we get in free. However, we go to the really late showing for volunteering, so he's been the one asking if I want to stay for the movie or go early for the other showings. He and I have kind of agreed to see just about all of them. And he's been one to say he has tons of homework, and then once we're hanging out he'd rather stay and hang out than return to the work. And this is probably me just over-analyzing everything but I nearly bumped into him at dinner coming around a corner and he was really emphatic when he said "HI!" vs. the "glancing over then turning back like he doesn't know it's me" thing.

Okay, I am a college student and wondering what to make of a situation. I apologize in advance for the length of this plea for help as it is a compilation of three posts from a different thread! Sorry for any who read this twice but I'm just fishing for more pairs of eyes. Thanks! On my third night at my dorm I happened to be talking in a group for a while and eventually, a little after midnight, everyone left and I was left talking alone with this one guy who is a year ahead of me. We were up until 2 am just talking. The next day when I went to lunch I met some of his friends from his year, and one brought up the fact that he'd mentioned to them that he and I stayed up until 2 am. He also seemed to look out for me a bit as he made sure I had someone to walk back to the dorm with and didn't want me to feel lonely or anything (he had band practice). Then, the following day, I had lunch again with he and his friends in the dining hall. He and I walked together for a bit on campus with his friends until he had to go for band practice again and so I hung around with two of his friends and another girl from my year. After a few days though he and I hadn't really seen each other much or talked much and so I didn't really think much of it. Then, I happened to be interested in joining an organization at my college that he was involved in. I asked him about the meeting for joining and he told me to sign up for a specific day and time (volunteer work for student movie theater) which happened to be the same day and time that he worked and also the same volunteer job. So I got the position. Not this past Saturday but the one before he and I were to show for our first night so he and I walked over and did our job, but because he had never seen the movie being screened and because the tickets are free for us, he and I stayed for the movie (V for Vendetta). We walked back to the dorm (18 minute walk) and talked - it was 2:30 am when we got back to the dorm. The next day I noticed that he wasn't too talkative, not like the night before when it was just him and me. He seemed kind of shy. But that night I was voted in charge of showing movies for our house in the dorm. He was voted president of our house. That night I sent him an email as a joke with a quote from V for Vendetta because he was president. After that we became a little more talkative. We chatted briefly during the week at lunch but that was about it, except for Tuesday when we went to the beach to swim (yes, Oct. 3 and in a lake). Then, Thursday night rolled around and I was to show a movie as part of my duties. Somebody had Love Actually which we watched - the guy I like loves this movie and so do I. So, we were all getting ready for it to start and I was on one couch with a space next to me for someone else while he is on a separate couch. Three people file into the room and one sits on the floor. Two are left. Instead of pointing out that I have a space next to me, he jumps up and tells them to take the spot he just vacated and comes to sit next to me. So all during Love Actually he and I basically mumbled movie lines to each other and made the gestures the actors make during the film and basically giggled over everything. That night we also had Midnight Soccer which he and I played in. On the walk back he and I trailed the whole group to talk. The next day at lunch he came and sat next to me and we talked a bit more until we had to leave. Then, that night, Office Space was being shown in the lounge and he walked in. After the movie a lot of people went to bed while he and I stayed up along with two other guys. He put in one of the discs of Lost's second season, came and sat next to me, and we watched an episode of the show. Then, Saturday night came. He had asked me if I wanted to go see the movie being shown that night before we did our job at the theater, so we met up around 9 pm, saw Thank You For Smoking, did our volunteer work, walked back to the dorm, he happened to tell me that we should go get pizza sometime then kinda trailed off as it sounded almost like asking for a date. He had told me earlier that he probably wouldn't be able to hang out after the movie because he had a lot of work to do, but we went up to the lounge in our house and ended up sitting together on the couch talking with a few others for a little over an hour, then we decided on watching more of his episodes of Lost, and we stayed up watching Lost until a little after 3 am. Also, as he and I were sitting together, he kept scooting closer then away then closer then away. Yesterday morning he also apologized for watching the last two Lost episodes because he said he'd let me know whenever he watches them, but he couldn't help watching them until after 4 am the night before. So now he's got the next disc to watch and he'll let me know when he's watching. Also, last night, he happened to email me at 2:40 am just to let me know that if I ever need to borrow his Blockbuster member card, I can. That was it. But it occurred to him at 3 am to email me about something so simple as that? Now, I've only known him for a little over three weeks, but he is a really nice guy and we've been talking a lot more. Casual emailing too. He's really charming and has a great sense of humor, I think he's cute and adorable in that way some guys are. He's also extremely intelligent and talented (plays tennis, the violin, and we go to a really excellent university in the US). I'm just not sure if I should take this all to be friendship or if he does like me and he's just perhaps being shy or taking things slow. I really like him but I want to make sure that it's a mutual thing and that I'm not jumping to conclusions. Yes, I'm making sure I play this slowly and let him make choices because I don't want to be the aggressive one and make things happen, I'd rather be sure that he wants them to happen because he's encouraging it himself. More tidbits: *One day I said I was gonna join fencing and he immediately asked where the meeting was and considered joining. But it's too time-consuming so I'm not, and neither is he. *He's been a tad quiet the past two days. Especially when there are a lot of people from our house (our dorm has six floors and every two floors are considered "houses" and so everyone in the house eats together and does things together) around. *Today he was looking for someone to play tennis against tomorrow and I've been wanting to play against someone (I know how to hit, I've just never played anyone) so I chimed in that I would - he said sure but he'll have to make sure that one of his other friends doesn't want to because he's been asking around a lot - then to make up for it he asked if I was busy today though as though saying today would be fine if I wanted to play (unfortunately I've got a lot of work). *He also brought up that he'll be by tonight if he's going to watch Lost. *Also, next Sunday is a trip to an apple orchard which I agreed to go on. A lot of people aren't, especially those he and I are friends with. When they were asking for people to sign up, I raised my hand with a few others, then after a few seconds he did too, but like I said, there aren't a lot of people I know who are going and those he hangs with aren't going. What bothers me is I have found myself getting a tad jealous when two particular girls start talking with him. One tries to monopolize his time as she's a tad selfish, though she also tries to control everyone else too. She actually told me one night in front of him that I shouldn't be showing Love Actually because it's not December yet, "so if I could, it would be really nice if I waited until then" as she put it. She also told me exactly what time I should put the movie in because she didn't want to miss the beginning nor the ending. He kinda chimed in though at the time to change the subject because he and I kinda looked at each other like, "Wow, a bit controlling much?" Then the other girl just talks a lot and I get this feeling that she likes him, but she's going more the "party-girl route" so that makes me nervous. Anyhoo, I also just get pretty nervous because he goes back and forth between being really talkative and then really quiet around me. I mean, he's teased me now about a video game I brought and also has suggested that we play the game one day, but then last night at dinner I passed him up and he sorta glanced at me as I was walking and then turned back quickly. I don't know, maybe I mentioned that one already because he's actually done it at other times like at dinner and elsewhere I think. Okay, this is getting annoying. The past two days the guy I like has been a lot quieter and less bubbly. I think when his friends come to dinner/lunch he doesn't sit near me or get talkative with me, it seems, but it appears that if they're not there or if there's just less people from our house at lunch/dinner then he's more inclined to come sit and talk. Also, if I'm sitting on the couch with him it's kinda funny because I don't know if I should give him lots of space on the couch or sit closer (though I don't want to seem too aggressive to him that way). Like last night, he came to my room at midnight to see if I was still awake to watch episodes of Lost as he knows I want to watch the DVDs he rents of them. He sat on one end of the couch and I sat on the other so I wasn't sure if I was giving him space or making him think I'm not interested or something, because today at lunch there was a seat next to me open but he went three seats down the table and then to the opposite side to sit. I don't know if that was just him sitting at the opposite end for the heck of it or what or if it was a punishment response or . . . ???? I suppose I'm just wondering what his actions are saying - if they say he's being shy or nervous (he's very restless when I'm sitting next to him and he does fold his arms up a lot and then unfold them and then moves sideways and then stretches out, etc.) then what can I expect him to do in the future or what can I do to figure out what he means by it all? And if he's thinking "just friends" then . . . well bugger! Thanks!!

Okay, this is getting annoying. The past two days the guy I like has been a lot quieter and less bubbly. I think when his friends come to dinner/lunch he doesn't sit near me or get talkative with me, it seems, but it appears that if they're not there or if there's just less people from our house at lunch/dinner then he's more inclined to come sit and talk. Also, if I'm sitting on the couch with him it's kinda funny because I don't know if I should give him lots of space on the couch or sit closer (though I don't want to seem too aggressive to him that way). Like last night, he came to my room at midnight to see if I was still awake to watch episodes of Lost. He sat on one end of the couch and I sat on the other so I wasn't sure if I was giving him space or making him think I'm not interested or something, because today at lunch there was a seat next to me open but he went three seats down the table and then to the opposite side to sit. I don't know if that was just him sitting at the opposite end for the heck of it or what. I suppose I'm just wondering what his actions are saying - if they say he's being shy or nervous (he's very restless when I'm sitting next to him and he does fold his arms up a lot and then unfold them and then moves sideways and then stretches out, etc.) then what can I expect him to do in the future or what can I do to figure out what he means by it all? And if he's thinking "just friends" then . . . well bugger!

Thank you for the responses! Yes, I'm making sure I play this slowly and let him make choices because I don't want to be the aggressive one and make things happen, I'd rather be sure that he wants them to happen because he's encouraging it himself. More tidbits: *One day I said I was gonna join fencing and he immediately asked where the meeting was and considered joining. But it's too time-consuming so I'm not, and neither is he. *He's been a tad quiet the past two days. Especially when there are a lot of people from our house (our dorm has six floors and every two floors are considered "houses" and so everyone in the house eats together and does things together) around. *Today he was looking for someone to play tennis against tomorrow and I've been wanting to play against someone (I know how to hit, I've just never played anyone) so I chimed in that I would - he said sure but he'll have to make sure that one of his other friends doesn't want to because he's been asking around a lot - then to make up for it he asked if I was busy today though as though saying today would be fine if I wanted to play (unfortunately I've got a lot of work). *He also brought up that he'll be by tonight if he's going to watch Lost. *Also, next Sunday is a trip to an apple orchard which I agreed to go on. A lot of people aren't, especially those he and I are friends with. When they were asking for people to sign up, I raised my hand with a few others, then after a few seconds he did too, but like I said, there aren't a lot of people I know who are going and those he hangs with aren't going. What bothers me is I have found myself getting a tad jealous when two particular girls start talking with him. One tries to monopolize his time as she's a tad selfish, though she also tries to control everyone else too. She actually told me one night in front of him that I shouldn't be showing Love Actually because it's not December yet, "so if I could, it would be really nice if I waited until then" as she put it. She also told me exactly what time I should put the movie in because she didn't want to miss the beginning nor the ending. He kinda chimed in though at the time to change the subject because he and I kinda looked at each other like, "Wow, a bit controlling much?" Then the other girl just talks a lot and I get this feeling that she likes him, but she's going more the "party-girl route" so that makes me nervous. Anyhoo, I also just get pretty nervous because he goes back and forth between being really talkative and then really quiet around me. I mean, he's teased me now about a video game I brought and also has suggested that we play the game one day, but then last night at dinner I passed him up and he sorta glanced at me as I was walking and then turned back quickly. I don't know, maybe I mentioned that one already because he's actually done it at other times like at dinner and elsewhere I think.

Okay, I am a college student and wondering what to make of a situation. I apologize in advance for the length of this plea for help! Thanks! On my third night at my dorm I happened to be talking in a group for a while and eventually, a little after midnight, everyone left and I was left talking alone with this one guy who is a year ahead of me. We were up until 2 am just talking. The next day when I went to lunch I met some of his friends from his year, and one brought up the fact that he'd mentioned to them that he and I stayed up until 2 am. He also seemed to look out for me a bit as he made sure I had someone to walk back to the dorm with and didn't want me to feel lonely or anything (he had band practice). Then, the following day, I had lunch again with he and his friends in the dining hall. He and I walked together for a bit on campus with his friends until he had to go for band practice again and so I hung around with two of his friends and another girl from my year. After a few days though he and I hadn't really seen each other much or talked much and so I didn't really think much of it. Then, I happened to be interested in joining an organization at my college that he was involved in. I asked him about the meeting for joining and he told me to sign up for a specific day and time (volunteer work for student movie theater) which happened to be the same day and time that he worked and also the same volunteer job. So I got the position. Not this past Saturday but the one before he and I were to show for our first night so he and I walked over and did our job, but because he had never seen the movie being screened and because the tickets are free for us, he and I stayed for the movie (V for Vendetta). We walked back to the dorm (18 minute walk) and talked - it was 2:30 am when we got back to the dorm. The next day I noticed that he wasn't too talkative, not like the night before when it was just him and me. He seemed kind of shy. But that night I was voted in charge of showing movies for our house in the dorm. He was voted president of our house. That night I sent him an email as a joke with a quote from V for Vendetta because he was president. After that we became a little more talkative. We chatted briefly during the week at lunch but that was about it, except for Tuesday when we went to the beach to swim (yes, Oct. 3 and in a lake). Then, Thursday night rolled around and I was to show a movie as part of my duties. Somebody had Love Actually which we watched - the guy I like loves this movie and so do I. So, we were all getting ready for it to start and I was on one couch with a space next to me for someone else while he is on a separate couch. Three people file into the room and one sits on the floor. Two are left. Instead of pointing out that I have a space next to me, he jumps up and tells them to take the spot he just vacated and comes to sit next to me. So all during Love Actually he and I basically mumbled movie lines to each other and made the gestures the actors make during the film and basically giggled over everything. That night we also had Midnight Soccer which he and I played in. On the walk back he and I trailed the whole group to talk. The next day at lunch he came and sat next to me and we talked a bit more until we had to leave. Then, that night, Office Space was being shown in the lounge and he walked in. After the movie a lot of people went to bed while he and I stayed up along with two other guys. He put in one of the discs of Lost's second season, came and sat next to me, and we watched an episode of the show. Then, Saturday night came. He had asked me if I wanted to go see the movie being shown that night before we did our job at the theater, so we met up around 9 pm, saw Thank You For Smoking, did our volunteer work, walked back to the dorm, he happened to tell me that we should go get pizza sometime then kinda trailed off as it sounded almost like asking for a date. He had told me earlier that he probably wouldn't be able to hang out after the movie because he had a lot of work to do, but we went up to the lounge in our house and ended up sitting together on the couch talking with a few others for a little over an hour, then we decided on watching more of his episodes of Lost, and we stayed up watching Lost until a little after 3 am. Also, as he and I were sitting together, he kept scooting closer then away then closer then away. Yesterday morning he also apologized for watching the last two Lost episodes because he said he'd let me know whenever he watches them, but he couldn't help watching them until after 4 am the night before. So now he's got the next disc to watch and he'll let me know when he's watching. Also, last night, he happened to email me at 2:40 am just to let me know that if I ever need to borrow his Blockbuster member card, I can. That was it. But it occurred to him at 3 am to email me about something so simple as that? Now, I've only known him for a little over three weeks, but he is a really nice guy and we've been talking a lot more. Casual emailing too. He's really charming and has a great sense of humor, I think he's cute and adorable in that way some guys are. He's also extremely intelligent and talented (plays tennis, the violin, and we go to a really excellent university in the US). I'm just not sure if I should take this all to be friendship or if he does like me and he's just perhaps being shy or taking things slow. I really like him but I want to make sure that it's a mutual thing and that I'm not jumping to conclusions. What should I expect from him if he does like me, and what should I expect from him if he's "just a friend?"

I'm going to close out my posts because this is pointless. You people do not know me nor the guy who I have been speaking of so it's rather pointless convincing you of circumstances without showing you a video of the five years I've known him and everything that happened. So there was never a definitive relationship! There couldn't be! But the fact remains that he and I got too close to the point that it became an emotional relationship and no longer strictly teacher/student and indifferent. The fact remains that the situation soured and timing was off and I am slightly neurotic when it comes to him these days. That's it. I posted this story in multiple threads because i figured there were a lot of members and perhaps I'd get more comments from DIFFERENT people from different threads; it turns out the SAME people posted. It's not obsessive so much as impatient in waiting for comments and wanting as many perspectives as possible. I resent being labeled things when you don't know everything about me nor him. So, adios.

I have been given advice about staying with friends that I harbor feelings for even though he's just gotten married. I didn't much like the advice because 8 out of 10 people on here will tell you to never contact him again; or that he's only hanging onto you as an ego boost; or he really doesn't want to stay friends but is too afraid to tell you to go away. I've been told these things by some members on here. My advice is only you can tell how he feels and if he is a good, kind person and not using you ill, and if you value being friends with him over nothing at all, then continue the friendship. And there is the off-chance that the blindness men seem to possess will give way to being shown the light, and maybe things will work out in the future where he'll realize you're better for him. At least if you stay in his mind's eye then you have a better chance that he'll turn his interest onto you. Of course, don't close yourself off and wait for it. Be open to finding someone better. But I am intensely against "dating around" for fun because it's pointless to waste time with men who don't live up to your requirements. i know I have the same situation where I like a guy and so far I haven't found anyone who is better. So don't settle for someone less than what you are looking for.

I had a rather decent year this past year. Some moments were prized Hades, others were like Lucky's charms getting me out of crazy stuff. As a senior in high school this past year I had a lot of school-related injuries and good times. Though I hated my school and didn't much care for it and had rotten classes and a difficult time losing my teacher friend to a different school (and a girl his age), I got lucky with going to another school for 6th and 7th hour for two cool classes I loved, as well as mid-year manipulating my schedule and the counselor into giving me a 4th and 5th hour independent study which also included a half-hour lunch too, meaning I could go home at 10:30 am (only been at the school since 7:40), eat lunch, and not have to be to the other school until 1:00 pm! It was great! What luck there! However, my job got increasingly more annoying and they started expecting more and taking away more from us and so I had to quit and was never able to get another job. Also injured my legs attempting to play for the school soccer team and wasn't able to walk for two days (nor run for six weeks) nor play at all for the school. Graduation party didn't live up to expectations though I did have a great Prom and the Senior All-Night party was the most fun I've ever had! But I also didn't get into my dream college and so while I got into an excellent school, I still have to go through applications again for a transfer to the other and it will be harder when you are a transfer. Always trade-offs. Life likes to give you great moments and then tear you down with annoyances. That's why I tend to agree that there must be fate - because no matter how much control we think we have over every little detail of our day-to-day lives, there is always some way that what we expect or want or need is never met. My mother is the type who has not just lemons, but rotten lemons, tossed at her day after day. Catching a break to her would be something like her car insurance has gone down or gas prices drop a dollar! Or she finds she lost ten pounds or something. Those are things that would make her happy! I can't imagine what she'd do if she won the lottery! Well, I do, actually! I'd be going to Hawaii!

Edited because it was unnecessary to air my laundry on here.

There's a reason us poor girls get the plumbing in early, isn't there? And it ain't to just to bug us! I was mistaken for 21 at my first job when I was 16. Though I do look 16 now, I'm 18.5! But I have a teacher friend from 7th and 8th grade and she says I act more like a 25 year old. My teacher friend I mentioned who I fell for, he's 27 now, she knows him and was aware that there was something between he and I, and even she says he and I are actually equal in maturity!

Edited due to it being stupid of me to air my laundry in this way to people. I found myself in a n annoying situation and nobody else has authority to handle it but me.