MissDashwood

Um, everybody likes Star Wars, Hope75. Not just my particular Taken Married Teacher Friend You All Need to Stop Harping About!!!!! I have several friends who would kill for autographs but I have a friend at school who would be particularly interested. That's it. Buzz off please, all you who keep following my posts to gripe about me and what I've posted here. Thanks!

Hi all, Just trying to gain perspective on a little gift idea for a friend. How many guys if you were given this would be very happy to receive it? I have a friend who really likes Star Wars a lot and I once asked who his favorite character is, which happens to be Boba Fett (naturally). So I actually wrote fan mail to the guy who played Boba Fett (rather, did the voicework) and I got his autograph on a Star Wars postcard. He wrote to me and said he was in the US and didn't have any other pictures to write on except the postcards and so he wrote to my friend, "To *****, Beware the Force" and it is signed "Jeremy Bulloch" with "Boba Fett" below it. So, if you were to receive this autograph from a friend as a gift, how ecstatic would you be? Thanks for the input.

Does it matter that I asked for male responses? Stop posting in my threads if you disagree with me! All I ever get are thirty-something women telling me the same thing. I wanted a male response for a change. What I got sufficiently answered me questions! And as for the post which has a lot of truth to it, yeah, that's why I'm asking for male opinions. I don't know how the male mind works! I'm dealing with a 20 year old in my college who's taking up my curiosity time and wondering what his intentions are towards me. I'd like to know what males think and do and why! Do you have a problem with that???? As for the old friend, so what, I am only asking for male opinions on the matter, I'm not looking to run out and do something about it! I'm just curious. I never heard it straight from him that he liked me. It was always implied and others told me they figured he liked me more than he should of. But I never heard it straight from him, and I suppose I don't have closure because of that. I think if he ever told me straight up that yes he was interested and shouldn't have been and he disregarded sometimes, then i think I'd be happier than wondering about what it really was.

Continuation . . . Okay, Guy intends to marry after almost a year of knowing Girl. He proposes at least four to five months later. Friend B and Guy were friends, but there always seemed to be something bubbling beneath the surface. He is open with Friend B for a while and can talk to Friend B, but their is distance between them. He is not as friendly around her in the "intimate" way it was before he was dating Girl; it is now "just friends." Guy moves away and so Friend B. They do not see each other for almost a year. Guy visits Friend B for special event in Friend B's life. Guy is highly excited to see Friend B and encourages continued contact and friendship. Guy then marries Girl shortly after, about two years after meeting Girl. Wedding takes place. Guy does not respond to Friend B's writing for over a month and is suddenly extremely closed off; distant, does not talk about anything personal. Writing is infrequent. Guy seems to want to avoid Friend B in any and all ways that are personal, though Guy still insists on staying in contact. Six months of marriage pass. Guy and Friend A have been friends for over 20 years. Friend B comes to learn that Friend A, who was Guy's Best Man at wedding, did not take pictures of wedding festivities. It is learned that Friend A, who is very fond of taking pictures, does not have many photos of Girl and has yet to show off any from wedding. Mutual friends wonder if this is a sign that Friend A does not like Girl very much. In the meantime, Friend B talks to other mutual friend. Mutual Friend makes statements saying Guy was not ready to be married and is surprised Guy went through with it. Mutual Friend makes statements which suggest she does not think the marriage will last. She seems bitter as well about Guy. It seems she was not invited and has slight hostility towards Guy. She says the wedding announcement was never in the papers and she heard about it through Friend B and others. Okay, so, this is the black and white example of a funny situation in which Guy has gotten married, has been noticed as acting VERY different and not for the better, and many people are said to not be happy with the change, and also more importantly, Guy has changed behavior with Friend B yet again. What goes on inside male minds? Why should Guy change how he acts around people? What would cause Guy to want to disregard an old friend and co-worker no less? Is it common for men to become unhappy with who they've become, and if they do, what do they do about it?

--Please read, this post has been edited for clarity-- In response to some posts I've been annoyed with recently, I'd like to ask the more objective question: Why do men, when they meet a girl whom they are interested in, potentially for a long-term relationship or marriage, change their personality/behavior/attitude? And if they don't, what is that typically a sign of? Also, just personal opinion from males, is it often a good thing to change or do you look back and wonder why you shifted your life for someone else? For example: Guy meets Girl one summer. They begin dating and are going for about two months. Guy has Friend A and Friend B, Friend A is a boy and Friend B is a girl. Friend B notices a distinct difference in Guy's personality and attitude. He seems more irritable and snappy, more arrogant, more irresponsible, more impatient and unfriendly at times with people, and he is treating Friend B differently, almost distancing himself from her while also keeping her closer than ever as a friend. Over a few months, this same personality change is evident and gets stronger. Guy seems to be swooning and floating on Cloud 9 as though he's in love, yet he's more than ever aggrivated with everything and seems more tired. He flip-flops from seeming content to not be married for anothed four years, then back to can't wait to buy his own home and start a family. He seems clouded and doesn't focus as much anymore. Very irresponsible, especially with his job. After a year of dating Girl, Guy wants to marry Girl. He tells Friend B. However, it takes Guy nearly five months to actually propose. During the course of this time, Guy was faced with difficulty of finding new job and whether it meant moving out of state. Guy is asked by Friend B why he was so different for the past year. Guy responds that it was pressure with having to find new job. However, this "pressure" was never applied until over six months into his relationship with Girl, so it was a lie that he started treating Girl differently because of job. Key Notes: 1) This was Guy's first long-term relationship in which he had interest in making future plans with Girl 2) Guy has never lived on his own before - first with parents, then college dorm, then with several male friends - has never kept his own home 3) Guy had many many plans for his future already, including a desire to not marry until he was 30 (he was 25 at this time) 4) Guy was one of the very last of his group of friends to marry - the year he proposed to girlfriend, good friend of his had first child 5) Guy is known to have communication issues - he avoids and escapes confrontations and anything that makes him nervous Continued below . . .

I was using "some girl" in reference to the first month or two of his dating her. He changed immediately. Point being, not for the good. And that's on him. HE changed, HE acted different, HE has changed priorities. But will it turn out for the good in the future? That's what I'm asking. I'm not looking for people on here who are going to sit around telling me what to do. I was simply explaining that someone I care about seems different and I suppose I was looking for more males who would answer whether it is common for a man to WANT to change and to FEEL THE NEED to, and also WHY - not females who are going to nag. "Personally, I find my own life challenging/interesting enough that I don't have time to speculate on other people's lives very often. Never really understood people who did, and tend to avoid them in my work life and personal life as much as possible." Keep in mind you have 2,815 posts on eNotAlone.com, dipping into other people's lives! Should I avoid you? I was just curious about whether what has been happening was normal. Fine, thanks, you all said it most likely is on her part! But don't think it's necessary to give me personality advice about myself. You don't know me and so I don't think any of you should pretend to know me or know who I'm speaking of. I'm asking for advice on a situation, I did not ask for advice on persons involved. So keep the objectivity in line or don't post!!!!

Okay, I have a friend who got married the very end of June of 2006. I have noticed small little details lately that make me wonder about the situation.

The hardest thing is realizing that you're simply fine with being single and it's not some horrible thing and that it can be fun, but realizing it's probably more fun when you have that One person who can make everything ten times more fun, enjoyable, happy, entertaining, lovely, memorable, wonderful, and all those things that you attribute to being with someone. Everything is brighter and easier and alive. Nothing is difficult and you feel fearless. That's the hard part. When you know that you could feel better; you're fine now, but it could be better if you had the One.

So I'm getting annoyed now, really annoyed, because I am almost 19 and in college and I have no prospects AT ALL for a boyfriend. And it's not so much that I'm desperate just to have a boyfriend to have one, I've just never had one before and I want to feel what it's like to be in a relationship and have someone who can be just as interested in me as I am in them! But is there any chance for that soon????? NOOOOOO!! I have fallen for one person before who . . . well it's a long, winding, depressing, complicated mess. Then there's this one kid who I met here in college who seems to only be interested in being friends, and even then he's not the greatest at being friends either. And then there's this one other guy back home who is a neighbor whom I have NO interest in at all and is sorta odd as I learned he has a kind of crush on me, but again, no interest. And even so, he has a girlfriend yet still manages to make questionable comments and wants to arrange for a time to come visit me at my college! I'm tired of watching other people couple up and find people to do things with and hang around while I sit around with no one except random female friends or the one guy friend I have who manages to not be the greatest at being that either! And then there's this extremely nice, wonderful guy who is fawning over this one girl who already has a major boyfriend whom she doesn't plan on leaving at all, yet he's still fawning over her; it's a waste of a nice guy!! What the heck! I'm tired of it. Guys my age (between 18 and 22) are just not that bright and too oblivious to anyone but their own selves! And guys older than that are so much better, but they're already on to different things. What the heck! It's annoying. Why do girls have to mature faster and be normal and want REAL relationships at 19 when guys that age simply CANNOT provide!!!!???? Can you tell I'm annoyed about this? And now that I've actually read some of these posts after my raving, regarding "loving yourself first and not needing someone to complete you Why is someone not allowed to say that they are unhappy not being in a relationship? I'm not happy that I'm not in a relationship. I want one. It doesn't mean I don't love myself and that I can't be happy on my own. I've been a pretty solitary person for a while. I'm in college now but I was an only child with divorced parents, and the one I lived with worked all the time - I grew up with myself. I know how to be alone for long periods of time. I'm tired of it. Now that I'm in college things are a lot better. Except I don't have anyone to enjoy all the fun things I'm doing. So I'm unhappy. I have friends and I talk to them and we go around doing tons of stuff, but I don't have that one person I can run to and spend time with who can add that extra feeling of wonder to everything. And I want that. I had someone for a short while who made my days a lot brighter and now that I don't have him around anymore, my days are a rather darker shade of bleak, thank you. And I want that to change.

Firstly, we were never consulting a Cosmo magazine for advice!!!! A girl has to read it for one of her classes and the three of us were gathered around laughing at it!!! It just so happened that for the percentages that I mentioned were in the mag, he happened to offer his opinion then. He's offered his opinion about relationships, marriage, life after college, quite a bit around me. I just thought it was interesting that for those two things he decided to say he agreed to them. And no, I don't think that it is a cut and dry, black and white, straightforward situation where if a guy likes a girl, he makes sure to snap her up immediately. I think a lot of it is that he is busy with work, where we go to school at it is not uncommon for people to spend three days straight in their rooms doing work and not come out at all except MAYBE to eat. No joke. I think it's just a matter of he's only 19, he's still in college and is always busy, we college students are poor, and we only just met two months ago. He admits it himself that he's different from most guys and doesn't act in the typical guy way; he has different ideas and thoughts and he's thereforeeee hard to figure out. And also, even though my friends have asked him if he likes me, he has had one of his friends who I have only hung around with three times in group settings, ask about me as well. And like ten other people have also assumed things as well. And my friend who asked him, well she's a mutual friend, he has hung out with her too. It's not like it was extremely clear that I like him - I haven't given definite signs because I'm not the typical girl - I tend to be more guy-like in that I'll spend an afternoon playing a first-person shooter video game or go see movies a lot. I'm a little hard to figure out too because I can be very quiet and hard to approach unless the guy makes the move to talk, but once they do and I get to talking more, I can be very laidback and comfortable and so I give the impression of being a friend because I don't spend my time batting eyelashes and trying to act/look cute all the time. I'm giving it until Christmas break because it's three weeks back home, and we actually live about thirty minutes apart in the same state, so there's the opportunity to hang out without schoolwork taking up time, and it'll be a bit of a test as he'll have to drive to see me rather than come up the stairs. And then there are parents and friends from back home who have known us longer and so that could be interesting. But yeah, I'm giving it until the end of Christmas break to see if he changes at all or if the lack of stress and homework helps or what. We'll see.

B - I have a type but I am currently interested in a guy who is physically and somewhat personality-wise completely unlike my type, and also is Japanese even though I'm of Irish/Scottish/Welsh descent. So that's different, but it doesn't bother me. It depends on the guy, but I don't think I'd ever be interested in someone who doesn't speak my language well. That is the dealbreaker, actually.

So this is entirely my whole situation just about. Fisch is right. I also don't trust everything Batya says because I think there is a fine difference between 19-year old college guys and 20-somethings or older men who know how much time they can devote to someone and are actually interested in devoting their time to someone. In my case, I have been told recently by someone who knows the guy I like, that he is showing the most interest in any girl ever as far as she's seen (interest is in me) and yet feels he's probably not ready to start anything officially and doesn't want to be serious yet when there is such time constraints with homework and classes and various activities; not to mention the convenience of being so nearby. It's given now that he's probably definitely interested in me but isn't sure if he wants to proceed further than friends now because of what I outlined above, and especially because he is rather different in that it has become clear he has never dated and is definitely a virgin and has specific standards he wants to live by when it comes to dating. I respect the fact that he views it as courtship basically and that you don't "court" someone unless you intend to be serious about it and take it as far as the relationship will go, quite possibly even if it leads to marriage. That is how I am - I don't believe in casual dating and so if I am to "date" him, it has to be serious "courtship" in that it is allowed to lead to love and potentially marriage without any exceptions, such as "needing to see other people" or "not ready" or "never intended to get that involved." My guy is against such escapes from relationships because he believes in being "committed" to the person, and so it makes it difficult because he clearly has interest in me but isn't making moves to further anything. He believes in frienship first before anything else which I agree with, and so I'm content if that's the path we're going down because it could lead somewhere eventually. What makes it difficult is knowing how to judge whether or not it's all in your head or whether there truly are signs that he's possibly interested in more later and also wondering when it will happen. In your case, I'm going to guess that perhaps he just doesn't feel like he has the time or energy to devote to "relationships" and that he may really be into you but is completely scared to get involved now when he's still sorting out other priorities. I'd say give it time and stay "friends" and all, but NEVER completely sever ties. I think that's silly because if he's truly a decent guy, why would you want to end all contact when you could have a very good friend otherwise? But don't scare him off either.

Well I found out from a girl who knew him last year that I was randomly talking to who said that I am the first girl he's ever shown interest in and that there is definitely a difference in the way he is around me vs. other friends who are girls. She says she figures he's never had a girlfriend and doesn't know what to do, that he may not actually be ready for that right now given our homework stuff, but that as far as she thinks, he's interested but isn't taking it a step further for whatever reason. I'm content in knowing that. Will wait to see what happens for Christmas break.

Hi, I have a friend in college who I have only known for two months now. He's a year ahead of me but out of all the freshman he hangs out with me most and I don't think he spends as much time with his second-year friends anymore either. We have the same interests pretty much so we've watched a lot of Lost episodes together, play video games, and we go see a lot of movies. People see us together a lot and we talk quite a bit. He was asked about me by his friends and mine whether there is something between us but he put it off as he had no idea people were spreading rumors. He put it off as we just hang out a lot and "are just two people who like movies" and that's it. But, last night a friend was reading a Cosmo magazine and said 68% of guys lie to girls, and that 75% of guys prefer being friends with the girl before dating her. He agreed with both in front of me. So I'm wondering if perhaps he was lying or not telling the full truth when asked if he thinks of me as more than just a friend and perhaps he and I are friends, but that he may also have interest in me for a later time - it's just too early now? He's very proper and kinda different from most guys in that he isn't immediately out for a girlfriend, in fact I believe he's never had one and also he is most definitely a virgin too. I have never dated before either so it's a rather strange situation in that I don't know what his intentions are because he's decent and wants to be friends. For any guys who are like this, what can I expect? If he is interested but first wants to go about being friends, what will happen and how will I know if he intends to further the relationship beyond friends or if that's all we'll ever be? Thanks!

And also, what about flirtation? What counts? Last night we all rode a bus downtown and I was in the back with my friends and he stayed up front with his friends. They all took seats but he stood the whole time. At one point I looked forward and he was looking back and I swear there was clear eye contact. Also, we've played some video games together and he gets really arrogant during them, but so do I because we're excellent at the same game. And so we get cocky and make comments. He might say something about how great he is at the game and I'll respond that it's just the gun he's using and not his own talent - that I have the talent. Then say he starts beating me he'll come back and say something about being better or whatever. Just trading goofy comments. How should I take that?

Ok, so, this week there are new things. A friend was reading a Cosmo and the three of us were making jokes about it and laughing and the stupid editorials and such. One of them listed "Seven Truths About Guys" which included a comment about "68% Guys are 2/3 more likely to lie than a girl" and the guy I like said he totally agreed with that. Then another "truth" was "75% of guys prefer to be friends with a girl before anything else" at which he personally agreed to. He made comments about being very different from most guys and that he doesn't want the same things as most guys either. He's clearly still a virgin and I don't think he's ever dated anyone nor gone after anyone either. But again, neither have I. So, in the context of tonight, I have to wonder now if he was personally admitting that guys will lie to a girl and that perhaps he may have interest in me and lied about it before, and that because he spends so much time with me is because he wants to get to know me as a friend before anything else? Last night was interesting because there was slight physical contact in that there is a personal joke between us about monte cristo sandwhiches and when someone ordered one at dinner last night, he started elbowing me. And there's this interesting thing about how he's really talkative and nice in person, but if you talk online with him on AIM he doesn't say much, in fact he'll not even respond after a time. But that's not like him so I wonder if he just gets distracted so often (guys bug me when they're like that) or if he's intentionally not responding or what? Any guys know? Also, according to friend who asked him before, when she mentioned a rumor about a different girl, he looked horrified - when asked about me and whether the rumors were true, she said he looked surprised but not in a bad way. He didn't have a "God NO" look on his face, but it wasn't a grin either. He just claimed he was surprised and oblivious to it all. I'm hoping this was a lie and that he does have interest and that he just didn't think others noticed anything.

The first instance in my case was completely different and yes, that case you do move on when there's no more options! But in this new case, there is still hope, but I'm told to move on. I hear other people being told the same thing and I think it's rubbish because you can't just transfer all thoughts from one thing to the next like it's nothing. I like this guy only . . . I don't have plans to meet anyone else at my school because I'm not here for that . . . but as I do like one guy, I wouldn't mind seeing where that can go. So no, I'm not going to put him out of my mind and stop hanging with him because he's nice and fun and friendly and someone I plan on continuing to know. As far as getting friends involved, that was different from how you're taking it. She did NOT go down and say, "So she likes you, do you like her?" She went down out of curiosty for herself and others because it has been the talk of our dorm wondering if he and I like each other. So she asked whether there is anything going on and mentioned people thought he liked this one girl and then those rumors ended, and then now me. He admitted to being absolutely oblivious to the idea of him and me being together and when asked about the one girl before me about which rumors had spread, he actually looked a little horrified, lol, according to my friend. About me he sorta shrugged as though he wasn't sure but said he had never thought of me that way before. He said in hindsight he was asked by one of his best friends about me but didn't think anything of it, and then also the way it appears to others how we're always hanging out that he agrees it appears like dating, but in fact he never felt that way at all. Then he mentioned that as far as relationships go, there's this one girl from back home whom he sorta likes but she doesn't know he exists. So he's sorta hung up on a girl but it doesn't seem like it will amount to anything. And for now he and I are still the same around each other, I just am going to hope that perhaps he'll start to look at me now in a different light as it has been pointed out to him. Especially with time as I have only known him for a month and a half. So I'm thinking perhaps with time and a little realization that the girl back home won't pan out, perhaps he might start thinking differently. Also especially if he starts feeling more inclined to date, because right now that's not in his mind to start doing. So I'll have to see. But overall, the plot to find out worked perfectly if you ask me!

For F's sake, this is the second time this year where I have had to deal with "getting over" a guy I like, and this guy is only a year older than me vs. the other where an age complication among other things was involved! Secondly, yes, we're in a university and yes, the "immature" gameplan worked out perfectly! because he and I are still friends and everything seems fine, it's just I have to sit around knowing that I like him and that he doesn't like me that way. Yes it was "high school" what happened but it's a dorm and it was 5 am and there was no easier way of finding out without putting it out there myself that I like him, and I didn't want to do that because if he thinks I like him then he'll be more cautious around me and I don't want him to have to change the way he acts around me or limits how much time I hang out with him. Also, there's the fact that perhaps he's just still hung up on this other girl and thereforeeee isn't aware of other potentials. Also, I hate it when I'm advised to "move on" because I think it's the weakest thing alive. Oh, well, that didn't work, let's drop it; or, oh well, I'm not seeing results, maybe I'll find some elsewhere. Rubbish. I'm sorry but I'm not "looking" for a relationship, I found myself liking him because of who he is and the fact that we get along so well. And as I said this is the second time this year, in freaking six months or so, where I have had to "get past" someone I liked. I'm annoyed at having to feel "rejected" yet again simply because I always pick such nice, friendly, charming, adorable, guys who have absolutely no interest in me except as a friend!!! WHY!!!! I'm not here to roam the campus for guys, it just so happens that I happen to like ONE guy, and as long as he's not dating someone, I'm going to see if anything can come of it in the future. I've only known him for a little over a month now so it's not like I "really know him well" and the same goes with him knowing me. I'm hoping that more time and different situations and conversations will perhaps change his views.

Okay so, late last night some friends and I stayed up late talking with the guy I like along with someone else. Around 5 am the guy I like went to bed. During the talking though my friends were fishing for answers from him, but in front of me, and he said he doesn't want to date anyone from our school at all because then he'll know how much effort he'll have to put into seeing her and will know then how much he cares for her; also that he's not looking to date right now either so it doesn't matter. So I was knocked for a loop because a lot of people (even the other guy with us admitted there has been talk and he has thought there was something) think he and I were potentially going to end up dating because we hang out so much. So, my one friend went down to talk to him because it was the last straw given the conversation, and spent ten minutes talking to him about whether he likes me. She acted super curious because of house rumor and everyone talking about he and I. He said he wasn't aware anyone thought we were "an item", said something about being just friends, then rambled about there being some girl back home he was interested in but she barely knows he exists!! This was almost 6 am this morning, I barely got any sleep, and I'm in a really pissy mood because of it. This is annoying because this is the second time that I have liked an extremely friendly, charming guy, this year alone, only to find out that he's just that and nothing more towards me! I'm hoping the girl back home stops knowing that he exists at all and totally rejects him so he'll give up that, then with time our friendship will change over. Is that possible with just more time? Even if he claims he doesn't want to date in our university, much less our house? I might be transfering next year to a university accross town too. I also just talked to him now to make sure we're still friends and there's nothing awkward-like between us. But overall, he said nothing's different. I also kinda lied to make things less awkward by saying it was all my friend who was interested in knowing and that she came to me to find out what was going on too, not just him. It all basically worked perfectly fine because he doesn't feel awkward around me and I can "act" natural around him still, so nothing there has changed. It's just, freakin'-A I'm annoyed because I DO like him still!

Okay so, late last night some friends and I stayed up late talking with the guy I like along with someone else. Around 5 am the guy I like went to bed. During the talking though my friends were fishing for answers from him, but in front of me, and he said he doesn't want to date anyone from our school at all because then he'll know how much effort he'll have to put into seeing her and will know then how much he cares for her; also that he's not looking to date right now either so it doesn't matter. So I was knocked for a loop because a lot of people (even the other guy with us admitted there has been talk and he has thought there was something) think he and I were potentially going to end up dating because we hang out so much. So, my one friend went down to talk to him for me, because it was the last straw given the conversation, and spent ten minutes talking to him about whether he likes me. She pretended to be super curious because of house rumor and everyone talking about he and I. He said he wasn't aware anyone thought we were "an item", acted very evasive and nervous/uncomfortable/wishy-washy, said something about "well we tried going to taco bell once" but this comment was something really random and had no connection with anything else he said, then rambled about there being some girl back home he was interested in but she only knows he barely exists!! He gave a kind of "sorta" look, though, when asked if he liked me, almost guilty but not admitting one way or another, and that was it. This was almost 6 am this morning, I barely got any sleep, and I'm in a really pissy mood because of it. I imagine he and I are in fact just friends still, which is fine because he is really excellent to hang out with, but I'm annoyed because this is the second time that I have liked an extremely friendly, charming guy, only to find out that he's just that and nothing more towards me! I'm hoping the girl back home stops knowing that he exists so he'll give up that, then with time our friendship will change over. Is that possible with just more time? Even if he claims he doesn't want to date in our university, much less our house?

Okay so, late last night some friends and I stayed up late talking with the guy I like along with someone else. Around 5 am the guy I like went to bed. During the talking though my friends were fishing for answers from him, but in front of me, and he said he doesn't want to date anyone from our school at all because then he'll know how much effort he'll have to put into seeing her and will know then how much he cares for her; also that he's not looking to date right now either so it doesn't matter. So I was knocked for a loop because a lot of people (even the other guy with us admitted there has been talk and he has thought there was something) think he and I were potentially going to end up dating because we hang out so much. So, my one friend went down to talk to him for me, because it was the last straw given the conversation, and spent ten minutes talking to him about whether he likes me. She pretended to be super curious because of house rumor and everyone talking about he and I. He said he wasn't aware anyone thought we were "an item", acted very evasive and nervous/uncomfortable/wishy-washy, said something about "well we tried going to taco bell once" but this comment was something really random and had no connection with anything else he said, then rambled about there being some girl back home he was interested in but she only knows he barely exists!! He gave a kind of "sorta" look, though, when asked if he liked me, almost guilty but not admitting one way or another, and that was it. This was almost 6 am this morning, I barely got any sleep, and I'm in a really pissy mood because of it. I imagine he and I are in fact just friends still, which is fine because he is really excellent to hang out with, but I'm annoyed because this is the second time that I have liked an extremely friendly, charming guy, only to find out that he's just that and nothing more towards me! I'm hoping the girl back home stops knowing that he exists so he'll give up that, then with time our friendship will change over. Is that possible with just more time? Even if he claims he doesn't want to date in our university, much less our house?

If there were more Alan Rickmans in the world, I'd be happy!!!

Well, it's funny because I fell for a guy who was physically one way, and also attitude/interests/personality one way, and then I went to college where I met a different guy who is nearly the opposite of the other, yet I am attracted to both. Guy #1: 1)Broad-shouldered, athletic, muscular build, about 5'9", 190 pounds, Irish/Canadian with dark brown hair, dark pirate kind of look yet also very boyish with his appearance 2)Very jock-like, but not in the cocky, jerk way; loves almost all sports and has that sort of jock appearance, but isn't the type who will vegetate in front of the tv all the time - he'll want to go to the games or go out and PLAY a game 3)Intelligent, he's a middle school teacher, loves to write and would like to be published one day; but he's laidback 4)Loves same type of music, movies, and tv as I do; is very very mainstream, commercial with his tastes 5)Has manners and is a charming, funny guy who is all-around sweet and nice and wonderful and would never intentionally hurt someone; more sophisticated due to age (27) 6)Is confident and seems to know what he's doing, he has a plan and isn't lazy, but there's underlying weakness and lack of wisdom that says he's still learning about life too and doesn't know exactly what he wants 7)Family-oriented and has goals and priorities 8.)Loves to travel; always fun-loving 9)Very important, very neat and clean Guy #2: 1)Not as muscular, probably only 5'6" or 5'7" and 155 pounds; Japanese; but has very boyish looks too 2)More of a nerdy type, wears glasses but does have contacts, has nice clothes but isn't a jock; he watches basketball, loves tennis, but that's about it 3)Very intelligent, bypasses Guy #1 actually, has interest in being a university professor one day but also doing research and working at a museum; also very laidback though, not a self-righteous type 4)Also loves movies and appreciates them more than Guy #1 who just likes going, Guy #2 is more like me in that he appreciates film as an art form while also enjoying movies too for entertainment; plays the violin and loves classical chamber music, knows it well and appreciates it rather than just listens to it; loves Lost and a few others shows, but particularly Lost; loves to read for pleasure but also has interest in classic literature 5)Has manners and is an all-around sweet, nice guy who would never intentionally hurt someone; rather sophisticated in his tastes, but he is still young (nearly 20); is charming but not as suave as Guy #1 who is more cutesy and clever 6)Is also confident with himself but again, still young, hasn't established his life yet while Guy #1 has 7)Has priorities but they are still for himself only; he's not thinking of marriage and family, etc. but neither am I; however what Guy #1 believed in as far as family life was perfect for what I would want in the future 8.)Very fun-loving and likes travel, but isn't at a point in life where he can enjoy travel all the time 9)Very important, neat and clean Point is, as far as those qualities go, they are similar yet very different; physically is where they are most different which I find very strange because I have a type and it's tall, dark, boyish, and muscular, but Guy #2 only has boyish going. And it's also interesting that he should be Japanese. But both guys are similar in personality and attitude, which is clearly what interests me most; however Guy #2, though about 8 years younger, has "finer" tastes than Guy #1, yet I am more like Guy #2 in that I don't have very fine tastes. So in truth, Guy #1 is still the better match for me despite an age difference, but he is unavailable now and we have settled as friends. However, Guy #2 is much more available, but isn't as compatible with me as the first guy, and he and I are at the same point in life so we could go in separate directions after college. But we get along well and there seems to be a mutual liking. Shall see where my relationship with Guy #2 goes, but let it be said that it's interesting that I didn't stick with my "type" of guy in terms of physical attraction.

Well, everything we've done has been in a friends capacity, but we always do tend to look similar in terms of body language - I'm biting my nail so is he; arms are folded, so are his; i'm slouching so is he; i tend to mirror him a bit too at times; if his hands are folded in his lap, mine are too, or vice versa. And about bumping arms or legs, one night at a movie he was moving in his seat and his leg bumped mine. I didn't move it at all, but he didn't move his. So for about three to four minutes our legs were touching just around the knee, and then he moved again and that was it. And then the other night he was moving again in his seat and we were kinda close together on the couch (he's rather restless when sitting) and he was folding his arms and his one hand happened to bump/gently punch my arm, though in both cases of him bumping me, he never acknowledged that he'd bumped me. Normally you bump someone you look at say "oops" to them or something. With the leg and then the bumping of my arm with his hand, he didn't react at all. And one night when we were watching a movie he asked me something and leaned closer to talk, but he never straightened up. So I changed my position after a while and leaned closer to him - we weren't touching but our arms were about three inches apart or so. And one time I came to watch something with him and sat next to him on the same couch even though there was an empty couch next to it; he happened to glance at me as I sat down as though taking in the fact that I was sitting next to him. So within ten minutes he changed position and managed to end up sitting closer to me. Also, what if a guy introduces you as a friend, and for the time being you are doing things in a friends capacity - is it possible that the guy could still be interested in you romantically but still continue the front of "being friends?" How do you know if he wants to be friends but that it will lead to something more later? Yes, I was talking to him last night and he has a tendency to sometimes lay back on a couch with his arms over his head while I'm standing (though he has done this with others so I don't know how it applies here). And sometimes, if the couch is empty, he'll lay down on it and talk to you while you stand over him; and his body is always very open. Is that perhaps just a habit as he does this often or what?

Yes, I'm not joking, nobody saw him at all on Saturday except for me because he'd locked himself in his room to work. And all day yesterday with the exception of required things he had to attend, he was in his room working. And tonight he's been working on the paper and typing it up as it's due tomorrow. So yeah, he's been understandably busy. You can tell just by talking to him that he's a bit frazzled and overwhelmed. A second year asking friends for help on what is the fastest way to get a paper done. He's that anxiety-ridden. I imagine Thursday he'll be calm. Also, he and I live in the same state as we are out-of-state for school. He has asked me a few times exactly where I live and has judged how far apart we are and how long it would take to get from his house to mine. He reckons 35 minutes. We have almost a month-long break from college for Christmas so if a guy is bringing this up, is it likely he intends to hang out?