InLoveAndWaiting

Here is a link to my original post, quite long, but I feel must be read to understand. I would contact her about once a week after the break up just to talk, she called me maybe 3 times since June up until last week. You will understand more if you read the original post. She had begun initiating the contact again. She will call some days and others she won't. I am just confused about her calling again after seeming to want nothing to do with me for awhile.

My ex and I are talking again, but not every day. This after a period of no contact where she seemed to want nothing to do with me. I still have feelings for her but I don't know how she feels about me. I know she doesn't want to be in a relationship now and believe she still has some feelings for me. I also believe she just misses me. I have been trying to give her her space she has asked for and try to let her initiate the contact. Is there a point that I should ask if she wants to give our relationship another chance? I don't want to push her away again as I believe I did that enough right after the breakup. I know she said her feelings changed for me, that is why we split. She was confused and wanted time for herself. When we first got together, she told me I was the best ever and she never wanted to lose me, that is why I have been having a hard time, I want to understand but I don't. Any thoughts or advice about this is welcome.

I am in somewhat of the same situation. My ex and I separated in June after 6 months, she told me she didn't know if she was completely in love with me like she used to be. It has been very difficult on me. She told me she is confused and feels like she doesn't want to be with anyone right now. She said that she needs time to herself right now. I told her that I am willing to wait for her and to take as much time as she needs, because I believe she is worth waiting for. What I mean is that it is going to be difficult to want to see other people if you aren't over your ex. The person who was on the receiving end of the separation usually feels like they are somehow cheating on their ex because they still have feelings for them. I am not ready to date again because I still have feelings for my ex and it would not be fair to the girl I'm seeing if I can't put my all into it. I want nothing more than to get back with my ex, but that is a decision only she can make, the same goes for yours. We still talk and are on good terms but you can't make someone have feelings for you if they don't. You can only let them know exactly how you feel about them and the rest is up to them. The best thing you can do for yourself and her is to try to be a friend to her if she wants that, remember the ball is in her court. Take care of yourself and try to improve on things you think you want to so if she does come back, you will be a better person for you and her. Let her initiate the contact with you, that has been the hardest thing for me. She may not know what she wants and may not for a while. Keep us posted man and good luck.

We are still pretty much talking everyday, she will leave me messages like she hopes I have a good day and I can call her later if I want to. She called me when I was at the football game this past Sat. night just to see if I was having a good time, said I could call back no matter how late it was. I am just a little confused as to her intensions, I believe that she misses me but I don't know if she feels more. Is there anyway to tell? What do you all think I should do?

I wouldn't let her know just yet that you still have feelings for her, let things unfold and see what happens. You don't want to drive her away, if the ex bf talk keeps up, I think you need to ask her why. Maybe she just wants someone to talk to, most women just like when a man listens, just beware of her intensions. Don't get hurt at her expense. Keep us posted.

My ex and I split back in June and had a period of No Contact, she said that she didn't know if she was completely in love with me like she used to be, but if she was going to be with anyone it would be me. She said she was confused about some things and felt like she didn't want to be with anyone right now, she said she needed her time, and it just needed to be her and her children right now.(5 and 1 yr. old), not from me. She has started calling again over the last week after I helped her move her things out of our house we had together into her new apartment. I am confused as to why the sudden change when there was a period it seemed she wanted nothing to do with me. I don't know if there is a point at which I should bring up getting back together or not. I'm trying to feel things out right now. Any advice?

Thanks for your thoughts on this situation, is there anyone else that has any advice about this? Please don't let the long post keep you from responding, I'd really like to know what you all think.

Yes, that is pretty much correct. Her first child was with her high school sweetheart and they were married, later divorced because he cheated on her. The youngest was with someone she was with for 4 years, treated her badly, said he wanted a family and was willing to change, she believed him and he went back to his old ways after he got her pregnant. I know that she has been thru alot and she has made some bad decisions, but I still love her. What do you think about the whole situation? People say I can do better but you can't help the feelings you have for someone.

My ex GF and I broke up about 5 months ago, she told me one night that she didn't know if she was completely in love with me like she used to be. She said that she needed time to herself and that she was confused. She said she didn't want to be with anyone now but if she did it would be with me. She does have 2 little girls, 1 and 5 yrs. old from past relationships and she has been thru alot in her past. We did live together at the time of the break up and finances were very tight. We moved about 120 miles away because of a job opportunity that I had and I didn't want to take the job unless they would come with me. At the time, she was fine with it and was excited about the new house we had found, but after about 2 months, she said she wasn't happy there anymore and that she missed back home and the kids missed their friends and school. We were together for 6 months and started living together after about 3 months. We both realized that we loved each other after about 3 months and were madly in love before the move. In looking back, I would have never taken the job or moved them so far away. It seemed ok at the time but I feel like it drove us apart. I feel like we moved too fast, but it did not feel like that to either one of us at that time. Since the break up in June of this year, we have both moved back to our same city and live about 15 minutes away from each other again. At first after the breakup, I would call just wanting to talk to her and find out what happened between us, I was devasted. She said not to ask her and that she just needed time. I then began sending letters letting her know how I felt and that I loved her and the kids very much. I told her that I would always be here for her no matter what and that I was willing to wait for her, to take as much time as she needed. I moved back because I received a great job opportunity that I wish had come open before we moved. When I moved back, it was about 2 months after our breakup. I would call every so often asking if I could see the kids and she said that she didn't think it was the best time right now and she'd rather me not call, I told her I understand, but I was really hurt. How can someone you loved so much just walk out of your life like nothing ever happened? I went thru so many stages after the break up; I cried, I was angry, I felt confused, I missed her, all of which made me depressed. I finally stopped contacting her and after about a month and a half, I get a call from her asking if I would be ok with going down to the house to sort thru our things together, she was getting an apartment and she wanted to make sure we agreed upon what was hers and mine. This completely caught me off guard. All the sudden she wanted to take a 2 hr. trip together after not wanting me to see her or the kids for the longest time. We ended up staying over night at the house because of the long drive, and packing up things and driving back the next day. Things went absolutely wonderful while we were down there and I never brought up one thing about the past. I was reluctant to go at first because I was hoping that I wasn't being used. She said she missed the house when we were there and we did have some great memories there. When we got back, I helped her move some things into her apartment. At one point she said, "What would I do without you?" I told her if she needed any more help, don't be afraid to ask, I did not mind. We then went one day without talking on the phone. She then called me 2 days later on her way to work and left a message saying that she was just calling to say hey, and that she hoped I had a great day, if I wanted to call her later I could. This also caught me off guard, just when I was trying to accept the fact that she may want nothing to do with me anymore, all of this hits me. I am completely confused, but very happy we are talking again. I miss being with her so much. We have been talking on the phone every day now, some calls initiated by her, some by me. I don't know what to think of all this, but then again I think too much. I hope things will work out between us but I want to be patient. I love her and the children more than anything in this world, and I can't picture myself being with anyne else. Could this just be a time in her life where she wants to be independent right now? She has always been with someone since high school. I have read that it is difficult to commit to someone if you don't have your own sense of independence first. Maybe her getting her own place now and spending time with just her kids is her way of doing that for herself. I am 26 and she is 27 by the way. I have learned so much about myself thru all this and have grown up so much. I would love nothing more than to get back together, but I'd much rather have them in my life as friends than not at all. There isn't a thing I wouldn't do for them. Is there a point where I should ask if she would want to get back together? I would appreciate any advice, sorry the post is so long, but I feel you need to have some understanding of the situation before you can respond.

I completely agree, I tried the letters at first and nothing works. She doesn't know if she is completely in love with me, she needs time to herself. These are things I was told and yes it hurts. All of you out there need to understand that you can't control the situation, the best you can do is take care of yourself and hope things work out. I called her for the first few weeks and she had no problem with that. My situation is a little different than some because she has children and she knows that I love them. I would call to see how things were going and to ask about the children. When I stopped calling for 2 weeks is when I got a phone call from her at 9:30pm, very unexpected. We had a great conversation and talked for like 20 min. We both still care about each other, she just doesn't know if I'm the one. We are still on good terms and we've never fought with one another. She has had a difficult time in relationships in the past, and maybe she wasn't ready yet. I respect that and I love her and the kids enough to let her have time to figure things out, as hard as that is for me. She knows that I am here for her no matter what. I truly believe that if I give her time we have another chance together, but I can't stop living my life in the meantime.