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InLoveAndWaiting

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  1. InLoveAndWaiting
    I found this post to be exacly how my ex is treating me now.
  2. InLoveAndWaiting
    I understand. It is so hard to let go of someone I love. I feel like I have lost part of myself. I try to look for some kind of logic behind her feelings and why she says one thing and does another. That is why I get confused. If I get a call around the 1st of Feb. when her rent is due, I'm going to be really upset. Maybe she still loves me, but you have to wonder why she would act this way if she did. My only choice now is to not call her. I spoke with her last night briefly, but she is no longer calling me. I know that I deserve to be in a relationship where someone feels the same about me as I do of them. I don't deserve this, I don't want this, I didn't ask for this. If she doesn't make up her mind, she is going to lose me forever. This is not love, her actions speak volumes over her words. I'm holding onto what we had because I want that back. This time last year I was on cloud 9, we were completely in love with each other, I want that back. I want her back. I know I can't make her love me, but I hope that she will find love for me again when she is ready. I am going to start a daily journal on here of how my days are going and what I am going thru. Some days may be more lengthy than others, but I think it will help me to get my feelings out by writing about them. If anyone is interested in reading them, it will be posted as my daily journal in the journals forum.
  3. InLoveAndWaiting
    Absolutely, she may see me as being more confident in myself. If she does want to be with me, she has to understand that there is compromise and you have to work thru the good and the bad, together. I want her to know that I'm not doing this to push her away.
  4. InLoveAndWaiting
    I will let you know what happens, maybe she will see me in a different light after this. I am going to be very confident about it and not appear needy or have any negative emotions about it. She should understand why I'm doing it.
  5. InLoveAndWaiting
    I'm going to tell her how I feel, it's going to be more well spoken than Will Smith in the movie Hitch. I know exactly what to say and how to say it. This is what I need to do if I'm ever going to feel better. I have to do this.
  6. InLoveAndWaiting
    sandyv, maybe I should just lay it all out on the table for her and then wait. Tell her how I feel and then just sit back and see what happens. I can't keep going in limbo like this.
  7. InLoveAndWaiting
    Yes, I've been hurting for 7 months, I deal with it. I know it is tough to know how to offer help sometimes, but I appreciate any comments.
  8. InLoveAndWaiting
    You didn't offend me. I'm saying that yes, that is a possibility, but she has a pattern of this and it could go deeper than just losing interest in me.
  9. InLoveAndWaiting
    helloladies 21, you honestly don't know my situation. There isn't a universal answer for everyone's situation. I'm not looking for reasons for the breakup, I'm looking at her past and a pattern of her behavior.
  10. InLoveAndWaiting
    She said she had felt like that for awhile and didn't say anything. Just wondering why she isn't showing that now, that's all. You think it would be ok to tell her how I feel and let her know that I understand she is going thru a tough time now and I'm there for her if she needs me?
  11. InLoveAndWaiting
    She sent me a message a little over a month ago saying, "Hey, I don't know how to say this but I've had alot of time to think and I really miss spending time together ps=I love you;-)
  12. InLoveAndWaiting
    These feelings are hard to understand. I'm just wondering why the sudden stop in calls.
  13. InLoveAndWaiting
    Like I said, I know for a fact that she has sufferd thru depression and I now believe it played a big part in our breakup. Our finances were bad together when we split and we had moved away from home together and she didn't like it there anymore. Everything went downhill in a matter of 2 weeks before we split.
  14. InLoveAndWaiting
    sandyv, are you honestly telling me that she may care and want to spend time with me but it just isn't a good time for her? She was calling me everyday up until last week, and then just pretty much stopped. Doesn't seem interested to talk much when were on the phone now.
  15. InLoveAndWaiting
    Is that honestly the best thing to do? Can I ask her if she just isn't interested or if it's not a good time for her? I have been patient, but the back and forth behavior is killing me.
  16. InLoveAndWaiting
    She asked about starting to spend more time together again and taking things slow, but isn't showing it now. She was a few weeks ago. She seems to go thru stages where she just isn't interested in anything. She just told me recently that she is always tired lately because she is so busy and stressed out. All she wants to do is sleep or do nothing when she isn't busy. I know she's my ex, but I'm still interested in getting back with her. I do believe that it had alot to do with the breakup.
  17. InLoveAndWaiting
    Many of you have seen my posts on here about my ex girlfriend and I. I have been reading alot about depression and I am starting to feel like my ex is suffering from it. She has gone thru it in the past and I know was taking medication for it. When we were together, if she had not taken her medicine, her moods would change drastically. It is a terrible disease and she falls into most of the categories of symptoms. I am starting to wonder if it is her depression that is causing mixed emotions and signals between us. It is very common for low income single mothers to suffer depression. This is so hard on me, because it is a delicate situation. You are dealing with something you can't control but can only try to understand. She has been thru so much in her past relationships and in her life in general. I am honestly starting to feel like it is not me, or anything I have done that causes her to not seem interested in me. She is going thru a hard time now financially and that just adds to things. I want to ask her so many questions but don't know how. Has anyone here ever dealt with a gf/bf with depression? What signs did they portray and how did it affect the relationship? I have read that one day they can be happy in the relationship and the next day, it seems like they want nothing to do with you. I'm honestly starting to feel that her depression is playing a bigger factor than I thought. Any advice is welcome?
  18. InLoveAndWaiting
    All of this is just starting to wear on me and I'm tired of giving all of myself and getting nothing in return. As much as I love her and want to be with her, I am not receiving what I deserve in return. It's getting easier on me not to call because I want her to call. I want her to think about me and wonder why I haven't called. I want her to put forth some effort and show me that she cares. I want her to start putting more into me and showing me that she is willing to make this work. So far, she is not showing me any of this, and as much as I love her, I deserve to be in a relationship where I am loved in return. There is so much I wish I could say to her and ask her, but it would come accross wrong and push her away. I don't deserve to have my feelings played with like this. She is missing out on a great person, and if she never decides what she wants, someone else is going to get a great person. I'm not getting any younger and I have matured thru this process, but I can only take so much. I deserve more than this and I deserve better. If she isn't willing to put forth the effort, she isn't worthy of my love. If she doesn't know what she wants and she loses me, someday she will probably realize what a great person I really am and what she missed out on. The hardest part is that if I knew she would say yes, I would ask her to marry me right now. I knew a while ago that this is the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Maybe someday it will happen. Sometimes you get halfway there, but the other half doesn't meet you in return. She needs to figure out what she wants.
  19. InLoveAndWaiting
    Yes, she is very stressed right now, and I think mainly from the financial standpoint. She has gotten herself into a situation where her bills are more than she makes. Last week when I was watching the kids at her place, I realized her satellite had been shut off from an overdue bill of 2 months. She is going thru a tough time now and not sure if she wants help. I would do anything to help her and she knows that. It is probably difficult for her to want to do much that involves money because she has no extra. If we were back together, things would be so much easier on her and she would be less stressed out. I could help to take a huge financial burden off her as well as I do make very good money. She could go back to school like she wants and wouldn't have to worry about working. I am completely there for her as far as taking care of the kids. I am willing to do things for her to help her out, but not sure she wants that. Should I ask her how she still feels about things between us and if I misinterpreted what she wants? She said she wanted to spend more time together and take things slow, but her schedule isn't going to get any less busy. If we are going to spend time together, I need to fit in that schedule. I am willing to take things slow, but it seems as if were getting nowhere right now. Any comments on what I can say to her? I don't want to come off as being needy but I want her to know how I feel.
  20. InLoveAndWaiting
    My ex has also gone thru a situation where she was raped, by her ex bf, and she has a child by him. He came home drunk one night and said that was all she was good for. She has never told anyone else but me, she said if her family found out they would kill him. I wanted to kill him. She still has a relationship with him, but only because he is the father. He would call alot when her and I were together and it drove me nuts. He would call at midnight, when we were together, it drove me up the wall. She would answer sometimes which only drove me more nuts. She asked me to please not let him come between us because that is what he would want. The point is that I feel about this guy the way you probably feel. If it really bothers you, you should tell her. She should respect your reasons and understand where you're coming from if she cares about you. She doesn't have to shut him out of her life, but that is different than hanging out with the person, much different. Tell her how you really feel and be strong about it. Rape is no accident, I don't care if you are drunk. I think people like that are the scum of this earth and have no respect for them. It bothers me that these people exist, but I can't do anything about that. Be firm about your decision to not see him.
  21. InLoveAndWaiting
    She sent me a text back on Dec. 11 that read, "Hey, I don't know how to say this but I've had alot of time to think and I really miss spending time together ps=I love you ;-)" How would you all interpret this statement? The I love you has thrown me off now. She asked me how I felt about everything awhile back and I told her that I still had the same feelings for her and that I believe I pushed her away more when we first split. I told her that it took me awhile to realize that if things were going to work out, they would. I took all this as if she wanted a possibility of getting back together but wanted to take things slow. We spoke about it and she said she wanted to take things slow, I agreed. Back on Jan. 1, she asked me if she could borrow $725 to help pay her rent for that month. She said that her last paycheck was not right and that she didn't have enough to pay for this month. She had a very tough time asking me and felt really bad. I loaned her the money and she wrote me a check for the same amount saying that as soon as she got the money in the bank I could deposit it. I know she doesn't have the money now and i still have the check. She is behind on other bills, she has even had her satellite shut off for past due. She has a 1 and 6 yr. old and I care about all of them very much. I wanted to help her because I love her and she really needed me. She is very stressed and has just switched jobs for a little more money. She is going thru a tough time right now and I know it's affecting her. She just stopped calling, don't know why. It is bothering me alot and I want to find out why. She said she wanted back in my life but now I'm being treated like this. I don't believe she knows what she wants. I know that her kids come first and I hope they are doing ok. I told her that I would always be there for her, she knows that, and I have been. Now I feel like I'm being used, like I'm being kept around for when she needs something. Where do I go from here? This has to be talked about.
  22. InLoveAndWaiting
    My ex has not called me or returned my calls now for 5 days. Things between us were going fine and all the sudden she isn't returning calls or answering them. Something is wrong, but I don't know what. I did not try to call today because I figured I'd get the same reponse, no answer. How long should I wait until I call again? I'm just left hanging wondering why. I was thinking if I don't hear from her soon, I'm going to stop by her apartment one afternoon and see what is wrong, I deserve to know what's going on. She said she wanted to spend more time together and take things slow, but she has been very stressed lately. What should I do?
  23. InLoveAndWaiting
    The kids are from separate fathers and she does not have a good relationship with the youngest one's father. The oldest goes to her dad's every other weekend. She trusts me with the kids and knows that I would love to watch them whenever I got the chance, and she is more comfortable with me watching the youngest than her own father. I just watched them all day for her this past Monday on MLK day so she could go to work. She never gets much time away from the kids, no one really ever wants to keep them for the day and I don't think she wants to ask anyone much, as if it's a burden. Should I leave her one last message telling her that I understand that she may want time to herself now and I respect that. That if she needs anyone to talk to or needs anything that I will be here for her. Anyone have any more advice on this?
  24. InLoveAndWaiting
    My ex is driving me nuts. She told me a little over a month ago that she missed spending time together, ps=I love you. We were doing great a few weeks ago and were talking everyday. She is very busy as she is a single mom of a 1 and 6 yr. old. She hasn't been the same though lately, she has become somewhat distant. She isn't calling me as much and not returning phone calls. I asked her 3 days ago when we spoke on the phone if everything was ok, I told her she hasn't seemed like herself. She said she has been very tired and is very stressed out. She said that when she isn't busy, all she wants to do is sleep or do absolutely nothing. She said she knows it doesn't sound fair to other people right now, but that is how she feels. She just changed jobs, and she is very stressed because she is behind on alot of bills. Everything in her life right now is stressing her out. I know she has suffered from depression in the past and I believe she is now. I don't know what to do. She has just stopped calling me completely for what seems to be no reason. I called her this morning of course to only get her voicemail and left no message. I texted her a little while later asking if everything has been ok, that we haven't talked much lately. I guess I'm just not going to call anymore and see if she does. I love her and care about her and have always been there for her, but I don't deserve this. What should I do? I believe that the combination of stress in her life along with probably not knowing what she wants is a recipe for my heartache. I can't figure her out and I don't know where to go from here?
  25. InLoveAndWaiting
    If anyone wants to see the current situation I'm in, go to the Getting Back Together forum and click on Ex Girlfriend Too Busy post, I would appreciate any advice.
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